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Lies and liars

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do you lie? Is it ever okay to tell a lie?

I think little white lies are okay but a lot depends on context. There's a big difference in outright lying and just not revealing the truth I think.

Some are just fictitious bull crap made up to hurt people in the worst way possible. I think those kind of lies can be the worst but then again, context.

What's your thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it’s ok like you said to tell little white lies hear and there but big ones are a no no. X

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By *abasaurus RexMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"Do you lie? Is it ever okay to tell a lie?

I think little white lies are okay but a lot depends on context. There's a big difference in outright lying and just not revealing the truth I think.

Some are just fictitious bull crap made up to hurt people in the worst way possible. I think those kind of lies can be the worst but then again, context.

What's your thoughts?

You summed my thoughts up perfectly.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Never lie

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I very much doubt that there's a single person that doesn't lie at some point.

If there is such a thing as a 'nice lie' then its the ones we use to protect someone we care for.

Just my opinion.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Never lie

That's a lie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its about morals, everyone lies.

Is it moral to tell someone you cant get it up because of back pain, rather than that they dont love you anymore?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have told lies but I'm not a very good liar. I am more likely to not mention something rather than lie.

One of my favourite first lines mentions lying:

'Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested.'

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Lying entirely depends on what you think the truth is.

Having once been married to a man who had a very distant relationship with truth and reality I hate lies that are intended to deceive.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Everyone lies every day.

Whether it's wrong to lie or not depends on your mental state, psychological make up and moral outlook I guess.

I'd lie to murderer asking where my family were hiding.

I wouldn't lie to a friend who asked if I fancied going out.

Lying isn't a simple , straightforward yes or no.

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By *orraine999Woman over a year ago

Somewhere

[Removed by poster at 07/08/20 10:11:03]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Its about morals, everyone lies.

Is it moral to tell someone you cant get it up because of back pain, rather than that they dont love you anymore?"

Whether it is moral or not depends on intent and what each person considers immoral or amoral.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"[Removed by fibber at 07/08/20 10:11:03]"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

White lies such as santa, Easter bunny and (because I don't believe in religion anymore) heaven are OK, the latter just because it brings comfort and strength to people, I'm not about to dismantle someone's beliefs just because I don't believe myself.

And the big ones like relationship status or anything that can bring pain and misery is just unnecessary.

Also lying about eating the last chocolate.... That shits unforgivable

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

"I have told lies but I'm not a very good liar. I am more likely to not mention something rather than lie."

This. I'm not a good liar

That said, my usual speech is so deadpan I have a hard time with sincerity and so people assume it's not the truth

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

You have to be very clever to lie & have a good memory to remember the lies you have told

J x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"You have to be very clever to lie & have a good memory to remember the lies you have told

J x"

Only if you don't want to be caught out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I used to be of the understanding little 'white lies' don't hurt anyone ??

People are not born alcoholic's ...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The reason I don't lie as a general rule, is that it's just so easy to be straight and not lie...... ( for me anyway )

Now is that moral ?

I don't tell truths because it's the RIGHT thing to do.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I used to be of the understanding little 'white lies' don't hurt anyone ??

People are not born alcoholic's ... "

One more time for Granny ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I used to be of the understanding little 'white lies' don't hurt anyone ??

People are not born alcoholic's ...

One more time for Granny ??"

? Happy

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

mmmmmmmmmmmm nah.

I still don't get it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

AND being HONEST ......

If I don't get it , it's not clear

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

White lies, in my eyes are okay, but then what one person classes as a white lie, may be classed as a big lie. Example - my partners daughter has severe narcolepsy and cataplexy, often asks me or her mum "do I look tired", God help you if you say yes.

I'm sure everyone has lied, but I may be wrong, but I don't think it's all black and white.

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Lies are the most destructive thing.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

But in my opinion the worst sort are ones where you are actively trying to trigger someone over a past traumatic event in your life. These people are beyond manipulative and conniving. To tap into someone's deepest fears, the secrets you trusted them with is beyond despicable. I've found these people act all innocent, and when confronted like to play the victim. These people are just horrible in my opinion.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Agreed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"mmmmmmmmmmmm nah.

I still don't get it."

Every end has a beginning...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

Nailed it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On here I think it's wise to be economical with the truth at times

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Also lying about eating the last chocolate.... That shits unforgivable "

Agreed!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/20 10:43:44]

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By *bonybbwWoman over a year ago

London

Here is an honest question: Why lie in the first place? A lie is indeed a lie. Dress it up, however, you like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"On here I think it's wise to be economical with the truth at times "

Oh here,yes definitely but I mean life in general not just on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Here is an honest question: Why lie in the first place? A lie is indeed a lie. Dress it up, however, you like.

There could be many different reasons. I'm not about to tell my four year old that Father Christmas isn't real

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"On here I think it's wise to be economical with the truth at times

Oh here,yes definitely but I mean life in general not just on here. "

I'd say the same applies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Testarossa tells fibs!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

100% agree with you there. The lies to deliberately hurt and destroy are completely unforgivable and makes the teller pure evil as far as I'm concerned.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Intentionally deception and lies that you know would hurt someone are one thing.

Little white ones because something just isnt someones business or its not important for them to know are another

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Intentionally deception and lies that you know would hurt someone are one thing.

Little white ones because something just isnt someones business or its not important for them to know are another"

Whilst a lie might hurt the receiver, it may also protect the teller

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

100% agree with you there. The lies to deliberately hurt and destroy are completely unforgivable and makes the teller pure evil as far as I'm concerned. "

Agree they are just evil, to trigger someone like that, I couldn't even do it to my worst enemy.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"On here I think it's wise to be economical with the truth at times

Oh here,yes definitely but I mean life in general not just on here.

I'd say the same applies "

If everyone is economical with the truth, does that not lead to a level of mistrust?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

100% agree with you there. The lies to deliberately hurt and destroy are completely unforgivable and makes the teller pure evil as far as I'm concerned.

Agree they are just evil, to trigger someone like that, I couldn't even do it to my worst enemy. "

Me either. Unfortunately there are some horrible, evil people in this world.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"On here I think it's wise to be economical with the truth at times

Oh here,yes definitely but I mean life in general not just on here.

I'd say the same applies

If everyone is economical with the truth, does that not lead to a level of mistrust? "

I'd say that context is crucial

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"On here I think it's wise to be economical with the truth at times

Oh here,yes definitely but I mean life in general not just on here.

I'd say the same applies

If everyone is economical with the truth, does that not lead to a level of mistrust?

I'd say that context is crucial "

Totally understand that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Here is an honest question: Why lie in the first place? A lie is indeed a lie. Dress it up, however, you like.

There could be many different reasons. I'm not about to tell my four year old that Father Christmas isn't real"

When my 7 year old asks me, it gets more complicated. I dont want to lie to her, so I explained that there is a little bit of santa in everyone at Christmas. Because she knows there are people dressed up as Santa that arent the real one. I said its more of a spirit than a real thing.

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

100% agree with you there. The lies to deliberately hurt and destroy are completely unforgivable and makes the teller pure evil as far as I'm concerned.

Agree they are just evil, to trigger someone like that, I couldn't even do it to my worst enemy.

Me either. Unfortunately there are some horrible, evil people in this world. "

And some come as wolves in fluffy sheep clothes.... Their destruction is the worst

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"On here I think it's wise to be economical with the truth at times

Oh here,yes definitely but I mean life in general not just on here.

I'd say the same applies

If everyone is economical with the truth, does that not lead to a level of mistrust?

I'd say that context is crucial "

Context is huge but it depends how economical. I think some is a given on here in terms of personal info etc

Life in general? Then again, context is everything, it really depends on the situation but to deliberately set out to deceive, hurt and destroy people is evil in its truest form.

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By *ark ph0enixWoman over a year ago

Teesside

Big lies hurt. So no they are not ok in my book. Ever.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

100% agree with you there. The lies to deliberately hurt and destroy are completely unforgivable and makes the teller pure evil as far as I'm concerned.

Agree they are just evil, to trigger someone like that, I couldn't even do it to my worst enemy.

Me either. Unfortunately there are some horrible, evil people in this world.

And some come as wolves in fluffy sheep clothes.... Their destruction is the worst"

They are the worst and make you question your own truth

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Here is an honest question: Why lie in the first place? A lie is indeed a lie. Dress it up, however, you like.

There could be many different reasons. I'm not about to tell my four year old that Father Christmas isn't real

I don't want to upset anyone, but I know santa is real.... I work for him.

My nephew has grown up with Grandad as Santa. We explained to him that the real Santa is magic, and Grandad uses some of his magic to make children happy in town.

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

100% agree with you there. The lies to deliberately hurt and destroy are completely unforgivable and makes the teller pure evil as far as I'm concerned.

Agree they are just evil, to trigger someone like that, I couldn't even do it to my worst enemy.

Me either. Unfortunately there are some horrible, evil people in this world.

And some come as wolves in fluffy sheep clothes.... Their destruction is the worst

They are the worst and make you question your own truth"

They do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Here is an honest question: Why lie in the first place? A lie is indeed a lie. Dress it up, however, you like.

There could be many different reasons. I'm not about to tell my four year old that Father Christmas isn't real

That's lovely and perfect as they get older.

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By *lap.n.tickleCouple over a year ago

sunny Manchester :)

I told gerry her arse isn't really that much bigger since she moved in. Does that count

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By *erryxxxWoman over a year ago

manchester

"I told gerry her arse isn't really that much bigger since she moved in. Does that count

I said the same about your belly darling

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hate lies. I had an ex that had a complete inability to tell the truth. It's left me unable to trust people...

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By *lap.n.tickleCouple over a year ago

sunny Manchester :)

"I told gerry her arse isn't really that much bigger since she moved in. Does that count

I said the same about your belly darling

Bitch

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By *erryxxxWoman over a year ago

manchester

"I told gerry her arse isn't really that much bigger since she moved in. Does that count

I said the same about your belly darling

Bitch

It’s the big arse - makes me bitter

But I’m adorable

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I told gerry her arse isn't really that much bigger since she moved in. Does that count

I said the same about your belly darling

Bitch

It’s the big arse - makes me bitter

But I’m adorable

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

I (Luke) think it's all about context. Sometimes somebody's reasons for lying are understandable. I lied to my ex-wife about what I was doing when I went out meeting certain women, but she was abusive and lied to me too and did all sorts of inexcusable stuff to me.

I didn't tell Hannah I was married when we first started talking because both of us thought we would never meet. When she found out it was a real problem, but as she came to understand my situation she understood why I did it.

If she had ended up taking the view that lies are evil and a total deal-breaker, we wouldn't be together now. But now, we are in the happiest relationship either of us have ever been in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't understand liars but I guess they have their reasons. There are a couple of people on here who have lied to a friend of mine when he was only trying to help them. The lies always come out in the end. Narcissists are often pathological liars, because they simply don't care about the truth. May be they do it to win the admiration of others? I do tell lies to the extent I tell my mum I'm doing okay when I'm not as I don't want to worry her or I might say I'm busy if I don't feel like chatting to someone. Little white lies we probably all tell at some point but other than that, lies are unacceptable and it's hard to spot the liars on here because we can't see their faces.

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I told gerry her arse isn't really that much bigger since she moved in. Does that count

I said the same about your belly darling

Bitch

It’s the big arse - makes me bitter

But I’m adorable

Awwwww. It must be love.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I tell little white lies, like when I tell my partner it was only £2.99 with free delivery

but I try not to lie about things that can cause hurt and pain.

I can understand why people lie. But it's not for me. I think life is so much easier and less complicated if you're just honest and communicate.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"Everyone lies every day.

Whether it's wrong to lie or not depends on your mental state, psychological make up and moral outlook I guess.

I'd lie to murderer asking where my family were hiding.

I wouldn't lie to a friend who asked if I fancied going out.

Lying isn't a simple , straightforward yes or no.

Exactly this!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Everyone lies every day.

Whether it's wrong to lie or not depends on your mental state, psychological make up and moral outlook I guess.

I'd lie to murderer asking where my family were hiding.

I wouldn't lie to a friend who asked if I fancied going out.

Lying isn't a simple , straightforward yes or no.

You speak nothing but the truth Granny!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't understand liars but I guess they have their reasons. There are a couple of people on here who have lied to a friend of mine when he was only trying to help them. The lies always come out in the end. Narcissists are often pathological liars, because they simply don't care about the truth. May be they do it to win the admiration of others? I do tell lies to the extent I tell my mum I'm doing okay when I'm not as I don't want to worry her or I might say I'm busy if I don't feel like chatting to someone. Little white lies we probably all tell at some point but other than that, lies are unacceptable and it's hard to spot the liars on here because we can't see their faces."

Agree narcissists can be pathological liars, I've never met one that isn't. They don't care about anyone or anything except their own agenda. I wouldn't say it's about others admiration though, it's just stepping stone to achieve their goal at the time and they always have a goal. Although they arent all the same in that sense so some could well be down to admiration.

Not being a me to read body language through a screen is definitely harder but I think over time, the tell tale signs become apparent and easier to spot although again, not true for all and some definitely pull the wool over people's eyes.

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

As others have said, it’s always about context isn’t it. Lying with a callous disregard for others’ feelings, or to deliberately manipulate or cause pain, is obviously really shitty. Lying to protect someone’s feelings, coming from a place of love and care for that person (as opposed to being concerned with your own gains), is worlds apart and not at all shitty.

I also think the impact on the other person of the lie is key. If they found out the truth, would it cause utter devastation and upset, or would it be insignificant and understandable to them why you had lied? Again, huge difference between the two.

Ultimately I think intent is always the key - whose interests does the liar have at heart when they tell the lie? If it’s solely their own, it’s probably a shitty lie.

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Lying makes me quite angry because I don't see the need of it, if I feel that someone would be hurt from me telling them the truth, then I will tell them that I don't want to discuss that and say nothing.

I lived with a person who abused me with lying from a very young age till my 20's and would manipulate me and put me down constantly, degradation was fun for that person hence my stance.

I won't even lie about santa, I told my small person the truth with the story of Saint Nick and how people have made him into todays santa, and how people want to believe about his magic because it is special to them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others."

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

I think that's a lie that we all tell occasionally.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Snap

although I should imagine quite a few people have.

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Snap

although I should imagine quite a few people have. "

Grrrrr.

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

"As others have said, it’s always about context isn’t it. Lying with a callous disregard for others’ feelings, or to deliberately manipulate or cause pain, is obviously really shitty. Lying to protect someone’s feelings, coming from a place of love and care for that person (as opposed to being concerned with your own gains), is worlds apart and not at all shitty.

Ultimately I think intent is always the key - whose interests does the liar have at heart when they tell the lie? If it’s solely their own, it’s probably a shitty lie. "

This.

Although I disagree with the OP in that I feel that deliberate omission of the truth is just another form of lying, particularly if done with malice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

I think it depends on what context its asked in.

So if someone on here or the lady at the checkout asked "how are you " There are only asking to be polite they don't actually want to know if your really OK or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ultimately I think intent is always the key - whose interests does the liar have at heart when they tell the lie? If it’s solely their own, it’s probably a shitty lie.

This.

Although I disagree with the OP in that I feel that deliberate omission of the truth is just another form of lying, particularly if done with malice. "

I think it depends why you are withholding the truth.

But if it's done to deliberately deceive someone then yes that is a different matter.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If my lies get a nice girl into bed for a pumping, they were worth it. If I dont succeed with a pumping, I'm clearly not lying hard enough!

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

I think it depends on what context its asked in.

So if someone on here or the lady at the checkout asked "how are you " There are only asking to be polite they don't actually want to know if your really OK or not.

I tend to reply to those by saying "my piles are playing up today".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

I think it depends on what context its asked in.

So if someone on here or the lady at the checkout asked "how are you " There are only asking to be polite they don't actually want to know if your really OK or not.

I tend to reply to those by saying "my piles are playing up today".

I like that.

I'm gonna steal it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

I believe you when you say that but not everyone that asks wants a genuine, honest answer with all the gory details.

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Testarossa tells fibs!! "

She’s possibly the most straight up person I’ve ever met

J x

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

Oh I do answer honestly to family and friends (occasionally). I’m talking more about work colleagues. I fast ran out of ways to give an honest answer to “morning are you ok?” every morning during Covid. So it just ended up being a fake “yeah I’m fine how are you?” Because deep down we all know that we’re all far from fine. But it gets depressing saying that every day I guess!

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"We all lie to an extent, someone ringing you asking where are you , and you reply I'm just leaving when your still in your PJs.

Then there are the ones where you think by not disclosing the truth, you are helping the other. To out and out lies, where you are doing it for you own personal gain.

100% agree with you there. The lies to deliberately hurt and destroy are completely unforgivable and makes the teller pure evil as far as I'm concerned.

Agree they are just evil, to trigger someone like that, I couldn't even do it to my worst enemy.

Me either. Unfortunately there are some horrible, evil people in this world.

And some come as wolves in fluffy sheep clothes.... Their destruction is the worst

They are the worst and make you question your own truth

They do.

Hugs

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I suppose it would depend on who's asking, but put a little trust in those that you feel do care.

Sharing a,problem can help - a lot. Xxxx

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

I think it depends on what context its asked in.

So if someone on here or the lady at the checkout asked "how are you " There are only asking to be polite they don't actually want to know if your really OK or not.

I think we all know instinctively who gives a shit and who’s just asking to be polite.

I’m off on a road trip to the amazing Saucy Tigger’s shortly.

It’s a long drive and I’ve hands free.

If you need a friendly ear - leave me your number and I’ll give you a call once I hit the motorway.

For me (and I know I’m lucky as I’m not close to anyone who’s had a severe case of it) the worst thing about lockdown has been not being able to see all my fab friends - as my best friends are now on fab and live literally all over the UK!

Re the op’s comments - unfortunately no one admits from the outset that they’re a lying shite - and the older they get - the better they tend to get at it - which is why they can tear your guts out!

The solution I’ve come up with is to ‘protect’ my heart by not allowing anyone to get too close - and fwb is perfect for that. However - in the long term I guess it makes for a potentially lonely old age! Xx

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

I think it depends on what context its asked in.

So if someone on here or the lady at the checkout asked "how are you " There are only asking to be polite they don't actually want to know if your really OK or not.

Very good point.

The only person who truly gets an honest answer to how I’m feeling is my other half - god love him!! He’s stopped asking now..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

I think it depends on what context its asked in.

So if someone on here or the lady at the checkout asked "how are you " There are only asking to be polite they don't actually want to know if your really OK or not.

I think we all know instinctively who gives a shit and who’s just asking to be polite.

I’m off on a road trip to the amazing Saucy Tigger’s shortly.

It’s a long drive and I’ve hands free.

If you need a friendly ear - leave me your number and I’ll give you a call once I hit the motorway.

That sounds great, please say hello from us. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Haha and people lie about lying

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By *orraine999Woman over a year ago

Somewhere

"Here is an honest question: Why lie in the first place? A lie is indeed a lie. Dress it up, however, you like.

And you lie to cover up the first lie and so on and so on. Xx

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By *ofusplusCouple over a year ago

Limerick

Sometimes it's the kind thing to do to lie. Every situation is different.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?"

If it's clear and indisputable fact then regardless of whether they have somehow convinced themselves otherwise it's still a distortion of the truth and therefore a lie whichever way you look at it.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?"

Think some people do do this. They repeat the same lie it becomes a truth, especially if they tell others and they believe it as a collective. And this is how you tar a person's name.

But ultimately I believe they knew the initial lie was a lie

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By *hav02Man over a year ago

Glasgow/London

There's a downright falsified fact vs. misinterpretation of ambiguous statements deemed as a untruths.

If lies are made with intent to harm, then i like to believe karma will do it's thing and cause harm to the instigator.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

If someone asks what you're up to tonight and you reply with "going to your surprise party", well that kinda ruins the surprise element so of course it's acceptable to lie at times.

Context, context, context.

However... when you've had your life turned upside down by lies, when someone has manipulated you to the point you question your own sanity and end up having a breakdown years later which has been triggered by a lie, well, I'm now the kind of person who would rather not have a surprise party thrown for me as the damage was huge deep.

Living someone else's lie, that's a shitty position to be put in because you can find yourself inadvertently deceiving others without knowing.

Omitting information can be just as bad. If you know full well that if you gave that person the whole truth they'd feel differently, then you may aswell be writing "mug" on their forehead, coz that's how you're treating them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?

If it's clear and indisputable fact then regardless of whether they have somehow convinced themselves otherwise it's still a distortion of the truth and therefore a lie whichever way you look at it."

My ex destroyed me. Either deliberately to hurt me or to help someone. Probably both.

I need my face to lie and smile but today I can't convince it to lie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?

Think some people do do this. They repeat the same lie it becomes a truth, especially if they tell others and they believe it as a collective. And this is how you tar a person's name.

But ultimately I believe they knew the initial lie was a lie "

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Haha and people lie about lying

That's how the cycle goes sadly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"On here I think it's wise to be economical with the truth at times "

Is being economical with the truth the same as lying though?

I agree that there are times where being economical with the truth is wise but I don't see that as lying

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?

Think some people do do this. They repeat the same lie it becomes a truth, especially if they tell others and they believe it as a collective. And this is how you tar a person's name.

But ultimately I believe they knew the initial lie was a lie

I don't think they do, not always.

You see the intitial lie sometimes comes from them lying to themselves. That's not always from somewhere fraught with deceptive intentions, it could be them not properly analysing something or only looking for the postives in a situation, simply walking round with eyes wide shut.

Take me. I was lying to myself, based upon someone else lying to themselves. Not because they were a horrid person, but because they simply hadn't sat back and actually looked properly or communicated properly with someone else. They had assumed.

Once I realised what was really going on I had to be honest with me, and spell things out for them. It wasn't easy, but I had to be responsible and true.

It opened their eyes to something they'd blinkered themselves from for many years, because they were hurting but hadn't realised.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?

Think some people do do this. They repeat the same lie it becomes a truth, especially if they tell others and they believe it as a collective. And this is how you tar a person's name.

But ultimately I believe they knew the initial lie was a lie

I don't think they do, not always.

Once I realised what was really going on I had to be honest with me, and spell things out for them. It wasn't easy, but I had to be responsible and true.

It opened their eyes to something they'd blinkered themselves from for many years, because they were hurting but hadn't realised."

This is why I believe you will come put of this even stronger, and find someone who will make you unbelievably happy.

It takes a strong person to do what you did.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?"

Liars forget what the truth is and forget what they’ve said to one person or another.

Lies always catch up with the liar and the truth always comes out by their own doing

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Lies on a site like this can be incredibly damaging, especially when others are dragged into those lies and don't know which to believe as the truth - sides become taken and underhand bitterness ensues.

I've become aware of them about me at times and frankly it doesn't bother me in the slightest as anyone that truly know me will see them for what they are - but that's me, others may be less able to and are more deeply impacted by them. I've seen friendships destroyed, connections lost and more because of them.

Granny C was spot on though, in life we all lie, sometimes to protect, sometimes to mask the truth, sometimes to distort it completely, sometimes out of spite and worse - I know I have, and there are things that I'm outright ashamed of that I have lied about in the past (not on here I hasten to add) - do I lie deliberately and maliciously on a regular basis with the intent of causing harm? No, and I have no time for those that do either

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Lies on a site like this can be incredibly damaging, especially when others are dragged into those lies and don't know which to believe as the truth - sides become taken and underhand bitterness ensues.

Your first two paragraphs have really struck a chord today

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Your first two paragraphs have really struck a chord today

Sorry to hear but sadly it happens and more often than you'd think - what upset me most when it happened to me was that people I thought I knew and were friends bought into it...now it tells me more about them than it does me - especially as they haven't had the cajones to actually talk to me directly about it and hear my side but you know what? *shrugs* It's no great loss, I'm better off without them - but I'm sorry to hear it's struck a chord.

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

That is sad to hear, but is a regularity on here, lots of agendas which crop up and "did you know gossip"

Its a shame people cannot go to the source and find out the truth for themselves x

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I agree we all tell lies at some point, it depends on what the lie is intended to do though,

Is it to spare someone's feelings or intentionally deceive them?.

Sadly have met people in life who can't lie straight in bed.

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

Yes.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

That is sad to hear, but is a regularity on here, lots of agendas which crop up and "did you know gossip"

Its a shame people cannot go to the source and find out the truth for themselves x"

It is sad, but fortunately I can take it on the chin and see that it reflects on the purveyors more than it does me as for those taken in by it, if they were unwilling to take the time to find both sides of the story and then make their own minds up, then they were no friend in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

lying is commonplace.

like profile pics and age

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most of us lie.

I don't mean in a hurtful way but for example When somebody asks how you are and you say "fine" but really you aren't.

A lot of us tell little white lies to either protect ourselves or others.

“I’m fine thanks” is the biggest lie I’ve told for the past 5 months.

Then stop it.

We ask how people are feeling because we care and want to help if we can.

No... not my experience. I used to go out of my way to really consider my answer. Itook out as a important check in or moment of reflection for years but recently I started saying "bad actually" or "I'm not doing ok" and I'd say in every case it turns people into a flat spin of panic. They aren't genuinely interested and now their pleasantries have put them into a position they don't really want to be in... to intervene... or even discuss. I gone back to " yeah good you?"

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By *arracksCouple over a year ago

Deal

Never okay to lie about the big stuff in my opinion, been with someone whose entire reality was a lie, and that impacted on me and my family in an awful way that will live with us all for years to come.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?

Think some people do do this. They repeat the same lie it becomes a truth, especially if they tell others and they believe it as a collective. And this is how you tar a person's name.

But ultimately I believe they knew the initial lie was a lie

I don't think they do, not always.

Once I realised what was really going on I had to be honest with me, and spell things out for them. It wasn't easy, but I had to be responsible and true.

It opened their eyes to something they'd blinkered themselves from for many years, because they were hurting but hadn't realised."

I agree with you to be honest. But I think these kind of lies happen generally between couples or family members.

The liars I was talking about were more those, that lie in order to justify their behaviour. They say a lie about an individual to a group of friends so that lie becomes the group's truth. And I believe it's used my very manipulative people to hurt people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes occasionally, we all do! And yes, if it's a minor lie as long as you're not hurting or misleading anyone or benefiting yourself from the lie, but ALWAYS be prepared to own your lies and your truths also....! In this thread alone I smell a few lies, because I know and have seen differently sadly.... The internet and forums is an easy place to lie and get away with it for your own personal gain and popularity. I try to keep myself independent on fab to avoid those types and focus on enjoying and sharing a great experience with like minded open folk....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes occasionally, we all do! And yes, if it's a minor lie as long as you're not hurting or misleading anyone or benefiting yourself from the lie, but ALWAYS be prepared to own your lies and your truths also....! In this thread alone I smell a few lies, because I know and have seen differently sadly.... The internet and forums is an easy place to lie and get away with it for your own personal gain and popularity. I try to keep myself independent on fab to avoid those types and focus on enjoying and sharing a great experience with like minded open folk....

That's the first time I've ever agreed with anything you have said....one step nearer to a rendezvous

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's the first time I've ever agreed with anything you have said....one step nearer to a rendezvous

How many years....?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"How do we know they are lying? If they believe or convince themselves it's true then is it really a lie?

Think some people do do this. They repeat the same lie it becomes a truth, especially if they tell others and they believe it as a collective. And this is how you tar a person's name.

But ultimately I believe they knew the initial lie was a lie

I don't think they do, not always.

Once I realised what was really going on I had to be honest with me, and spell things out for them. It wasn't easy, but I had to be responsible and true.

It opened their eyes to something they'd blinkered themselves from for many years, because they were hurting but hadn't realised.

I agree with you to be honest. But I think these kind of lies happen generally between couples or family members.

An individual that can sway a group of people is a dangerous individual.

However, those within that group should also use their own minds and interactions with someone to make a decision, or better still ask the individual concerned themselves.

Once they have heard both sides then make a choice, what is fact or lie rather than being a sheep and easily led by one person’s words

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

Mmm I'm a firm believer in honesty, I always seem to remember odd things or comments and if they don't add up then trust is lost.

White lies such as telling the boss that the traffic was awful when really you left the house late are different of course

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

This. On a very personal level, this. I've seen far too much jealousy, possessiveness and bitterness on here to ever believe that this behaviour and the lies will stop.

Good job I value the opinion of only a very small number of people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This. On a very personal level, this. I've seen far too much jealousy, possessiveness and bitterness on here to ever believe that this behaviour and the lies will stop.

Good job I value the opinion of only a very small number of people. "

Innit!

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

2 faced people are worse!

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

This. On a very personal level, this. I've seen far too much jealousy, possessiveness and bitterness on here to ever believe that this behaviour and the lies will stop.

Good job I value the opinion of only a very small number of people. "

And it won't stop - it's been happening to a greater or lesser degree the whole time I've been here and it will continue long after I leave - the key is finding those you trust and know are discreet and genuine in what they say.

It's not easy I know, and have been taken in myself but karma is a bitch and it catches up with them in the end

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple over a year ago

Surrey

You can’t get through life without a few lies. Not dirty great big ones, but ones that are done to stop someone being hurt or upset are game I think x

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Too many variables.

There are lies, there are different perspectives. These perspectives are sometimes amplified into group think, and are true to the group but nonsense to outsiders.

It's traps we're all liable to fall into, and talk past each other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It all depends what is said in what context and if it can cause hurt or endanger others. But a lie is a lie still however you look at it and tells you the level of someone's integrity.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Little white lies? Aye they’re usually fine. ‘Oh yeah I absolutely loved the curry! Not too hot at all!’

Huge fuck off lies? Nah. ‘Yeah, social services? Think they’re abusing their kids’

I lie everyday bro

Or maybe I don’t I dunno

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m a mythomaniac. I always lle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This. On a very personal level, this. I've seen far too much jealousy, possessiveness and bitterness on here to ever believe that this behaviour and the lies will stop.

Good job I value the opinion of only a very small number of people.

It's not easy I know, and have been taken in myself but karma is a bitch and it catches up with them in the end

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"2 faced people are worse!"

Aren't they just

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

People learn to lie from a young age and we lie to ourselves as well as others. Most of this is healthy and people feeling shamed for tiny lies that harm nobody, isn't healthy.

Manipulation of others by deceit, getting what isn't yours etc, isn't respectful or ethical, so is a different matter.

Some deceit follows poor communication between people, not sharing as they could be doing, potentially confidence too. Many are brought up to think that what they want is wrong to desire, so keep their thoughts often hidden from themselves too.

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