 |
By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
Are you good at arguing? Do you forget about an argument quite quickly or do you stew on it?
I've had a big argument today and it's left me feeling quite crappy. I've never been good at arguing as I always feel like my words are twisted and it leaves me so frustrated.
I'm now playing it over in my head and have to talk to the person tomorrow even though I'd rather not. It's getting me quite stressed...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm good at arguing I get told. But I dont like to do it often. I'll say my piece, listen to the other side, then move on. Very rare I dwell on it. It solves nothing except making me have bad feelings x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not good at arguing because I have no time for it.
I'll sometimes cry in a really heated argument but I say what I have to say in a calm manner and remove myself as soon as possible.
I think life is too short to always get caught up in that toxic shit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago
A little village |
Arguments are never pleasant. Whether it affects me for the rest of the day or has an emotional impact on me depends on who it is and what the disagreement is. If I’m close to the person I’ve argued with (eg partner or family member) and/or the issue is an important one to me, then it does tend to consume my thoughts and feelings until it’s resolved. Random disagreement with stranger? Forgotten within minutes. It all depends on the emotional significance... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I hate conflict and hate to argue. It is usually hours after the row that i kick myself for not saying this or not saying that. Life is too short for arguements. Hope you shake hands when you meet next. x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago
A little village |
Also .. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly “good at” arguing. I can hold my own very well and make a point articulately if I feel I need to. But that said, I do find it stressful and don’t enjoy it or think I’m “good” at it, as such. It’s just sometimes a necessary part of life isn’t it... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Try writing it all down if it's winding you up. Sometimes that's enough to clear your mind. I don't tend to argue I end up getting distressed and crying. I take things to personally but that is me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Try writing it all down if it's winding you up. Sometimes that's enough to clear your mind. I don't tend to argue I end up getting distressed and crying. I take things to personally but that is me "
Yeah, there's much to be said for processing your feelings then talking through a problem. Me arguing is not a good time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Try writing it all down if it's winding you up. Sometimes that's enough to clear your mind. I don't tend to argue I end up getting distressed and crying. I take things to personally but that is me
Yeah, there's much to be said for processing your feelings then talking through a problem. Me arguing is not a good time"
Exactly often we can't change the person we are arguing, but we can change how we react to them. Negative people are like emotional vampires sometimes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down. "
Shows you have passion for your work, depending on the situation may not be a bad thing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I try to calm things down and see reason with most people - I don’t let rip unless someone has really riled me. A discussion is preferable and favourable outcome for all.
Many a cruel word is exchanged in haste and anger yet regretted later....
“Negotiations on the battlefield are infinitely preferable to war” |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I tend to walk away before an argument these days, mainly because I know if I get drawn in I'm very feisty and I can be vicious - I don't really want to cause people upset, especially those close to me. I'd rather wait until all involved have calmed down and discuss it calmly.
Sometimes you just can't avoid it though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you good at arguing? Do you forget about an argument quite quickly or do you stew on it?
I've had a big argument today and it's left me feeling quite crappy. I've never been good at arguing as I always feel like my words are twisted and it leaves me so frustrated.
I'm now playing it over in my head and have to talk to the person tomorrow even though I'd rather not. It's getting me quite stressed... "
I know the feeling. I’m a good arguer but I do stew on it after for sure. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I cannot remember the last time I had an argument, but I am pretty laid back and it takes a awful lot for me to get riled, I tend to stand my ground, listen to them, then talk it out, negotiation does come naturally to me, try and have an argument with a 1 ton horse  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't think arguing is something you can be good at as such. Resolving it, yes. I think during an argument I'm crap - I angry cry and my anxiety spirals (depending on how close I am to someone). I can also be quite vicious when attacked especially if I know the other is in the wrong.
I'm also very much the sort who likes to get it resolved quickly and can't understand why others don't; I'm basically a bit of a 'mare.
If I step back and calm down (even for a few minutes) I can rationalise quite quickly. I'm also good to listening to the other's point of view and understanding where they are coming from, I'd much rather discuss things than shut them out and let bad feelings fester - 1) because negative energy isn't good for anyone and 2) I know sometimes I can be a throbber and it's good for me to learn from and grow. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I argue then I'm done. It is sometimes necessary to clear the air and i think it's healthy now and then. But once done I move on. I'm really not a dweller. Life is too short not to stick up for what you think is right and definitely too short to dwell on what is done. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down. "
I know it's easy to say but try not to think about it too much.
It's over and done now and nothing will change what happened.
The good news is tomorrow is a new day. It's natural for things to become very heated and I can understand why you feel unprofessional, but you can learn from this and you can always apologise for raising your voice and let them know you got too caught up in the moment. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm not going to go into definitions of argument.
Getting angry is not arguing. Getting angry is loss of control.
I genuinely feel for you. Here is my advice.
You cannot change it. It's happened. Learn from it and don't stew.
Tomorrow in work ..... make the first move. Don't grovel.
If the other person comes at you with all mouths firing....... let them. They have already lost control.
Listen to them. Their steam will dissipate. Then you can put your side.
Smiles help. Apologies for tempers help but acknowledge how important what you had to say was.
Stewing will result in anxiety, loss of sleep and a loss of temper tomorrow.
Forgive yourself xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down.
I know it's easy to say but try not to think about it too much.
It's over and done now and nothing will change what happened.
The good news is tomorrow is a new day. It's natural for things to become very heated and I can understand why you feel unprofessional, but you can learn from this and you can always apologise for raising your voice and let them know you got too caught up in the moment. X"
Stop writing what i'm typing while you are posting what i'm writing...... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down. "
We all have bad days Op, there is nothing wrong with holding your hands up, admitting it went too far and you’re sorry.
Tomorrow is another day. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you good at arguing? Do you forget about an argument quite quickly or do you stew on it?
I've had a big argument today and it's left me feeling quite crappy. I've never been good at arguing as I always feel like my words are twisted and it leaves me so frustrated.
I'm now playing it over in my head and have to talk to the person tomorrow even though I'd rather not. It's getting me quite stressed... "
I've been told im always right  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Today is a new day. What happened yesterday cannot be changed, its gone. And no matter how important it may have seemed yesterday, a few feathers may have been ruffled, today its time to leave the past in the past.
Today, its a new day, live in it and put aside things of yesterday
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icearms OP Man
over a year ago
KIDLINGTON |
So just to update you.. the guy I argues with is a complete tool. Would not accept my calls today and cancelled a meeting we had planned.
So I now don't care that I raised my voice at him... rant over.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
