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what if the wife found out
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Personally, we think there are better way to sort out relationship problems, than being unfaithful but it's not our place to judge.
We just try and avoid married guys but it's not something we would ask about at a club or party. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok folk what is your thoughts on this
what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?"
Each to their own and all that ,and am certainly not being judgemental here ,every one has what they believe are their reasons for doing whatever they do but in this situation ,for me anyway ,the ride is certainly not worth the fall ... |
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I think that there are many factors that make it far from a simple issue.
As Annabelle said, I think people should be honest. At that stage it’s up to those involved to decide if they’re ok with it or not. |
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"Ok folk what is your thoughts on this
what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?"
I think is not correct being unfaithful, is bad behaviour and just shows the lack of trust and honesty in the relationship, most times this is the point where relationships they start falling apart |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think life isn't black and white.
I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business "
True to a certain point but it still doesn't protect those involved from the potential carnage that could happen if found out , especially if there is kids involved ..yes ,if they're upfront etc the people they're meeting know then but for me l would certainly not want to be the one that could become involved in potential heartache for anyone...like l said the ride is not worth the fall ... listen to the Rolling stones " you can't always get what you want " ..the first and last verse ..all about it ..great song too..love it  |
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"I think life isn't black and white.
I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business
True to a certain point but it still doesn't protect those involved from the potential carnage that could happen if found out , especially if there is kids involved ..yes ,if they're upfront etc the people they're meeting know then but for me l would certainly not want to be the one that could become involved in potential heartache for anyone...like l said the ride is not worth the fall ... listen to the Rolling stones " you can't always get what you want " ..the first and last verse ..all about it ..great song too..love it "
Maybe it's about what you need!
Need in order to have something for yourself!
When you are in a position that you cannot or do not want to walk away from. I can imagine a few of them scenarios, longterm illness of loved one, that kind of thing. It is for each to make their own mind, as long as they have the facts. There's not always kids involved but often very lonely people.
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"Ok folk what is your thoughts on this
what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?"
I think that if you ask the same people the same question, you’ll get the same answers.
Nobody ever comes out of these things with a changed opinion |
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We don't want to be involved in a potentially homewrecking situation.
Plenty of honest single/consenting people out there.
If the relationship is lacking, talk it through. Nothing is going to be made better by cheating. |
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What if the husband found out? It's not just men going behind their partner's back.
Men and women have been being unfaithful since time immemorial. It isn't always an uncaring guy leaving a barefoot wife at home sobbing into her gruel with 6 hungry children crying and asking where daddy is. Life is more nuanced than that.
How about the man whose partner tells him she's no longer interested in intimacy of any kind, refuses to discuss it and won't even cuddle him in a non sexual way? What about the woman who cares for her partner who can do nothing for himself, full time?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We both find cheating pretty abhorrent. But honestly, though we wouldn't knowingly meet someone playing away, we don't tend to question people we meet at clubs.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cheating can be like stealing. Some steal because they're addicted to the thrill, some steal because they are starving.
In an ideal world nobody would transgress, but who's life is always ideal ? |
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"I think life isn't black and white.
I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business
True to a certain point but it still doesn't protect those involved from the potential carnage that could happen if found out , especially if there is kids involved ..yes ,if they're upfront etc the people they're meeting know then but for me l would certainly not want to be the one that could become involved in potential heartache for anyone...like l said the ride is not worth the fall ... listen to the Rolling stones " you can't always get what you want " ..the first and last verse ..all about it ..great song too..love it
Maybe it's about what you need!
Need in order to have something for yourself!
When you are in a position that you cannot or do not want to walk away from. I can imagine a few of them scenarios, longterm illness of loved one, that kind of thing. It is for each to make their own mind, as long as they have the facts. There's not always kids involved but often very lonely people.
"
that is very profound and true. Life isnt simple and there are many reasons. Fabs is a sex site..we are all on here for pleasure and fun. Too much analysis make take the edge off that? I try not to be judgemental. xx |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I think life isn't black and white.
I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business
True to a certain point but it still doesn't protect those involved from the potential carnage that could happen if found out , especially if there is kids involved ..yes ,if they're upfront etc the people they're meeting know then but for me l would certainly not want to be the one that could become involved in potential heartache for anyone...like l said the ride is not worth the fall ... listen to the Rolling stones " you can't always get what you want " ..the first and last verse ..all about it ..great song too..love it
Maybe it's about what you need!
Need in order to have something for yourself!
When you are in a position that you cannot or do not want to walk away from. I can imagine a few of them scenarios, longterm illness of loved one, that kind of thing. It is for each to make their own mind, as long as they have the facts. There's not always kids involved but often very lonely people.
"
Anabelle you took the very words out of my mouth. It's not for us to judge another's situation. If we aren't in it then we can't know.  |
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Nevermind the wife ... what about the husband? Women are dirty dogs too ... it’s thrill seeking, excitement, the idea of getting caught. The rebel in them... to some degree it’s quite selfish .. but each to their own no one knows what is going on in people’s heads ... everyone makes mistakes ... it’s them that has to live with it at the end of the day x |
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"I think life isn't black and white.
I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business
True to a certain point but it still doesn't protect those involved from the potential carnage that could happen if found out , especially if there is kids involved ..yes ,if they're upfront etc the people they're meeting know then but for me l would certainly not want to be the one that could become involved in potential heartache for anyone...like l said the ride is not worth the fall ... listen to the Rolling stones " you can't always get what you want " ..the first and last verse ..all about it ..great song too..love it
Maybe it's about what you need!
Need in order to have something for yourself!
When you are in a position that you cannot or do not want to walk away from. I can imagine a few of them scenarios, longterm illness of loved one, that kind of thing. It is for each to make their own mind, as long as they have the facts. There's not always kids involved but often very lonely people.
Anabelle you took the very words out of my mouth. It's not for us to judge another's situation. If we aren't in it then we can't know. "
My thoughts exactly  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s their own business and not mine. Just be honest about it to allow people to make an informed choice. Like someone said, not everything is black or white. I do have issues with people saying they’re single when they’re not though. Other than that I don’t see what business it is of anyone’s. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I think it’s their own business and not mine. Just be honest about it to allow people to make an informed choice. Like someone said, not everything is black or white. I do have issues with people saying they’re single when they’re not though. Other than that I don’t see what business it is of anyone’s. "
This too. It's not fair to put someone unwittingly into a situation they might be comfortable in. |
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I wouldn't judge either way, each to their own and all that - and how can you even be in a position to judge if you don't know their full circumstances and innermost thoughts?
Whether it affects me or not really depends on my interaction with that person. For a one-off meet or club play, I'm never going to ask and I don't care...all that matters to me then is that I fancy them and they're going to be respectful and safe.
With someone that I'm looking to see on a regular basis, I would like them to be honest with me so that I can make my own choice whether to see them or not once armed with all the facts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do I think of it?
Well noone can provide a plausible argument that its OK and noone should find it unacceptable?
But it happens, because there's so many flaws to people's habits and behaviour? Amongst the people screaming 'stone them' will be people who are guilty of all sorts ranging from abusive behaviour, thefts, misuse if substances etc etc.
Trouble is fab focuses on sex so it gets highlighted.
If you want to do something its your choice, and own it when it goes wrong! But don't expect everyone to see your perspective. If you really need everyone's approval you're going to crash and burn. |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
"I think life isn't black and white.
I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business"
Agreed. I always advocate honesty. Cheating is always wrong, and there will always be a better route / path to take... however taking it can be much harder. It's not a black & white issue, no two marriages are the same and there could be a myriad of factors going on behind the scenes that we're unaware of.
Cheaters aren't always these evil, heartless, narcissistic sociopaths... in fact I'd guess only a very, very small percentage are. Most are probably driven to it through fear, lonliness, desperation, etc. Either way, on places like this I believe you should be upfront with people so everyone knows what they're getting into and can bow out if they so desire.
It's a tough one, to be sure. Unfortunately we've been raised by a culture and taught by religion that we don't have any other options... that we can't practice ethical non-monogamy and embrace our more animalistic, polyamourous nature, and are therefore forced to lie and hide and cheat. Hopefully we'll start to see a shift now that polyamory and ENM are seeping into the mainstream a bit more. |
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And if you look to the left you will see this topic that we get every day. 
My stance though is I’d rather not meet them. I am In a relationship and it took me a lot to open up a discussion about what I wanted and needed so why others can’t do that is beyond me |
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"And if you look to the left you will see this topic that we get every day.
My stance though is I’d rather not meet them. I am In a relationship and it took me a lot to open up a discussion about what I wanted and needed so why others can’t do that is beyond me "
Because all the talking in the world won't make a partner who is unwilling to listen or discuss respond |
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"And if you look to the left you will see this topic that we get every day.
My stance though is I’d rather not meet them. I am In a relationship and it took me a lot to open up a discussion about what I wanted and needed so why others can’t do that is beyond me
Because all the talking in the world won't make a partner who is unwilling to listen or discuss respond "
But at least they tried, is how I see it! Rather just going out and doing it alone.
Maybe If that’s the life they want for themselves and a relationship just ain’t working for them it’s time to do something about that rather than deceiving an unsuspecting party |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
"And if you look to the left you will see this topic that we get every day.
My stance though is I’d rather not meet them. I am In a relationship and it took me a lot to open up a discussion about what I wanted and needed so why others can’t do that is beyond me"
But, surely the fact that you know first hand that it took you a lot should give you an idea as to why so many people struggle with it, no? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think no one should judge another person's reasons. Life is complex and perhaps if people took the time to discover instead of assuming the world would be a better place. People will do what they do, sometimes to cope, sometimes to survive, but you'll never know if you just slap a label on them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s their problem not mine. People will probably read that and think ouch. But I’ve got into many fwb situations where I have found out later that are attached.
So my only stipulation is that they are honest with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" What do I think of it?
Well noone can provide a plausible argument that its OK and noone should find it unacceptable?
But it happens, because there's so many flaws to people's habits and behaviour? Amongst the people screaming 'stone them' will be people who are guilty of all sorts ranging from abusive behaviour, thefts, misuse if substances etc etc.
Trouble is fab focuses on sex so it gets highlighted.
If you want to do something its your choice, and own it when it goes wrong! But don't expect everyone to see your perspective. If you really need everyone's approval you're going to crash and burn. "
This really^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s their problem not mine. People will probably read that and think ouch. But I’ve got into many fwb situations where I have found out later that are attached.
So my only stipulation is that they are honest with me "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we should make the people who are cheaters wear a Big red letter A on there clothes and Put a big red A on their Fab profiles.....
So the good people of Fab can stay far away from them... |
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Cheating men do seem to get a lot more shit than cheating women ..Double standards  ..I don’t agree with cheating whatever the reason but at the same time it’s none of my business how other’s live there life’s.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think other people's business is none of my business. You'll have people who are fucking about for the ego boost and others who have been in a sexless marriage for years, with no physical contact or affection. Should those two very different groups be treated with the same contempt? I don't think they should. What about couples who have been married years, still very much in love and one becomes seriously ill, so much so that they can't have sex?
But I would never knowingly become physically involved with someone who had a partner. Simply the guilt of the partner not knowing would get to me.
We like to compartmentalise people and their relationships. Sadly real life is way more complicated than that. |
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"I think we should make the people who are cheaters wear a Big red letter A on there clothes and Put a big red A on their Fab profiles.....
So the good people of Fab can stay far away from them..."
What does the A stand for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we should make the people who are cheaters wear a Big red letter A on there clothes and Put a big red A on their Fab profiles.....
So the good people of Fab can stay far away from them...
What does the A stand for?"
Adulterer?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we should make the people who are cheaters wear a Big red letter A on there clothes and Put a big red A on their Fab profiles.....
So the good people of Fab can stay far away from them...
What does the A stand for?
Adulterer?
"
Yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok folk what is your thoughts on this
what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?"
I think it’s truly shocking ! And hope I don’t get caught !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if the husband found out? It's not just men going behind their partner's back.
Men and women have been being unfaithful since time immemorial. It isn't always an uncaring guy leaving a barefoot wife at home sobbing into her gruel with 6 hungry children crying and asking where daddy is. Life is more nuanced than that.
How about the man whose partner tells him she's no longer interested in intimacy of any kind, refuses to discuss it and won't even cuddle him in a non sexual way? What about the woman who cares for her partner who can do nothing for himself, full time?
"
Very well said x |
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Its not our place to police the lives of others. We have both been broken hearted in the past by unfaithful partners. But we also understand the world is not black and white. And how sad it must be to be in a relationship where you dont feel free to be who you are. We tend to pick up people in clubs. Generally (especially given our past history) this is not an attractive feature but we don't go about asking people. We have been surprised by the amount of people we've met doing it behind their patners backs and how many of them have been women. It is a sad side of the game often for both halves of the couple in question. Which I know is controversial to show sympathy and not condoning cheating. But not everyone cheating is a totally selfish cold ass player. Often its just about a relationship that is not functioning properly, a lack of a certain connection or someone who is not free to express themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if the husband found out? It's not just men going behind their partner's back.
Men and women have been being unfaithful since time immemorial. It isn't always an uncaring guy leaving a barefoot wife at home sobbing into her gruel with 6 hungry children crying and asking where daddy is. Life is more nuanced than that.
How about the man whose partner tells him she's no longer interested in intimacy of any kind, refuses to discuss it and won't even cuddle him in a non sexual way? What about the woman who cares for her partner who can do nothing for himself, full time?
Very well said x"
|
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"Although we aren't judgemental we will not meet anyone who hasn't got permission to play from a partner. We won't be complicit in someone else's misery.
"
But how do you (really) know they have had permission from a partner to play Its their word only. |
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