hi all.
Any one ever experienced a situation where one member of the couple is more confident than the other and has slightly different limits. We are new ish but one is more happy for full whereas the other is more happy with soft at the mo.
We talk openly about it and agreed we will move at the lower limits because we both need to be 100% comfy at all times. but obviously there is some feeling of letting the other down if both dont get to the same place. Anyone been through this and any advice as it would be good to hear from both sides. We are not miles apart but obviously we would both like to be on the same page. Have any couples maybe started at one position but then upped the limits and surprised themselves?
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We've always gone with the attitude that we move at the pace of the person who wants to take things the slowest. There are certain things I'd like to do that Mr N wouldn't like so we don't do them and vice versa. Nobody is letting anybody down, they are simply respecting each other and their relationship.
I'd always say take things slowly. Why would the person who loves you want you to do something you're uncomfortable with?
Enjoy your journey  |
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We are similar and will go to the lower level and at that pace to make sure we are both happy. We are both very honest with our desires, so there is clarity and no ambiguity and that allows the conversation to flow and the clear understanding or both boundaries   |
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"Thanks guys for the replies. Sounds similar to us then which is good as we have agreed to always go at the lower end of us or anyone we are with. Just can't wait for the next encounter. X"
There's no normal in this. You have to do what's best for you and your relationship. |
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I think that it's quite normal for couples to have different boundaries.
I can only agree with comments above to take things st your own pace and stick to boundaries you are both happy with.
Good communication between you and those you meet is important.
Just take things slowly and enjoy the experience.
Plenty of couples are happy to stick with soft swap. |
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"We've always gone with the attitude that we move at the pace of the person who wants to take things the slowest. There are certain things I'd like to do that Mr N wouldn't like so we don't do them and vice versa. Nobody is letting anybody down, they are simply respecting each other and their relationship.
I'd always say take things slowly. Why would the person who loves you want you to do something you're uncomfortable with?
Enjoy your journey "
Agreeing (yet again!) with Nicecouple  |
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