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Love you all
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome "Absolutely.  | |||
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"Love you too pretty lady. "Thank you pretty man  | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome "I adore you lady. In a totally getting to know you kind of way obviously. But I felt like that for a long time, then decided I was the only one who could change how I felt about it and whether it was in my head or not I'd be better off making the decision to jump in feet first and just be me. And I think it kind of works. Not everyone will like everyone and not everyone will be attracted to everyone. But that's because we are human, that's life and we are a community and should just try and all get on anyway.  | |||
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"There is endless appreciation for curves on here!! Accept and own yourselves, you'll enjoy it all a lot more. " Damn right heat | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome "Well said | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome
I adore you lady. In a totally getting to know you kind of way obviously.
But I felt like that for a long time, then decided I was the only one who could change how I felt about it and whether it was in my head or not I'd be better off making the decision to jump in feet first and just be me.
And I think it kind of works. Not everyone will like everyone and not everyone will be attracted to everyone. But that's because we are human, that's life and we are a community and should just try and all get on anyway. "Adore you too my lovely. It's so true, but sometimes we need to see or hear that we are valid regardless of size. And I just wanted to put it out there for the ones like me who lurked before doing the same as you | |||
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"If only everyone was as kind as you. I do hope you rub off on people.
"I hope you rub off on people too | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome "That’s really beautiful | |||
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"Being slim doesn’t guarantee you feel like you fit in... trust me. "I flipping hope it fits in!  | |||
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"Being slim doesn’t guarantee you feel like you fit in... trust me.
I flipping hope it fits in! " there’ll be no worries on that front, Sam! | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome "Amen | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome " | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome
I adore you lady. In a totally getting to know you kind of way obviously.
But I felt like that for a long time, then decided I was the only one who could change how I felt about it and whether it was in my head or not I'd be better off making the decision to jump in feet first and just be me.
And I think it kind of works. Not everyone will like everyone and not everyone will be attracted to everyone. But that's because we are human, that's life and we are a community and should just try and all get on anyway. "I think you're both beautiful ladies from the bones right out to the boobies! If only everyone could be kinder and more accepting and follow your lead in being inclusive rather than feeling threatened by the positive change you both bring.... ....I love you two endlessly. Massive hugs! | |||
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"Nice post But think forum fitting in is about more than body shape and how you feel Take care Jo x" I can agree but body size does hinder some people's confidence. And that's all this thread is highlighting F x | |||
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"Nice post But think forum fitting in is about more than body shape and how you feel Take care Jo x" I'd probably agree but this is one of many important things and it's personal to the OP and the others she's described. If she'd asked what your personal problems fitting in were then maybe this would be a different thread entirely, but she didn't.... | |||
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"I’m fat and I’m adorable and just push my way in with a grin. Just have fun and try to leave everyone you interact with feeling better about themselves if you can, or make em laugh/smile. It’s contagious." Hell yes you are, that's the thing the forum is for everyone, nobody needs to feel excluded | |||
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"I’m fat and I’m adorable and just push my way in with a grin. Just have fun and try to leave everyone you interact with feeling better about themselves if you can, or make em laugh/smile. It’s contagious." I like this | |||
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"Nice post But think forum fitting in is about more than body shape and how you feel Take care Jo x I'd probably agree but this is one of many important things and it's personal to the OP and the others she's described. If she'd asked what your personal problems fitting in were then maybe this would be a different thread entirely, but she didn't.... "Apologies if I read it wrong It's been a long day No offence intended Jo | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!!" Guess everyone has their own interpretation | |||
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"Nice post But think forum fitting in is about more than body shape and how you feel Take care Jo x I can agree but body size does hinder some people's confidence. And that's all this thread is highlighting F x" Apologies must have read it wrong Jo x | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome " I class myself as one of those who don't fit in...I've been told you have a great personality....and your quote pretty but that's where it stops so my self esteem has never been high | |||
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"I'm old fat and ugly and I have trouble fitting in anywhere "Well sir you fit in here | |||
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"Nice post But think forum fitting in is about more than body shape and how you feel Take care Jo x I'd probably agree but this is one of many important things and it's personal to the OP and the others she's described. If she'd asked what your personal problems fitting in were then maybe this would be a different thread entirely, but she didn't....
Apologies if I read it wrong
It's been a long day
No offence intended
Jo"No need to apologise my love | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome
I class myself as one of those who don't fit in...I've been told you have a great personality....and your quote pretty but that's where it stops so my self esteem has never been high "You do fit in this forum belongs to nobody. There are some lovely inclusive people on here | |||
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"I'm old fat and ugly and I have trouble fitting in anywhere
Well sir you fit in here "Thank you | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome
I class myself as one of those who don't fit in...I've been told you have a great personality....and your quote pretty but that's where it stops so my self esteem has never been high "Who truly feels that they 100% always fit in? I’ve yet to meet any person, of any size, that completely feels this way. Guess it’s human nature for us all to feel insecure about peer groups and fitting in at some time or another.  | |||
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"Variety is the spice of life after all "Bingo. | |||
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"I honestly sometimes feel like that myself but It is what it is and everybody uses that magical world called preference. Everybody likes a certain types slim, tall, skinny, small big of you know what It’s easier said than done but sometimes we should not worry about what people think and Just be happy and most importantly be happy with ourselves "But people's preferances does not make your opinions on the forum less or more valid. And agree we should try to be happy in ourselves | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome
I class myself as one of those who don't fit in...I've been told you have a great personality....and your quote pretty but that's where it stops so my self esteem has never been high "Nice to meet you, feel free to chat to me anytime you like. Everyone fits in, jump in and enjoy
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"Lovely post Freda x Everybody is welcome everywhere. Always spread love and happiness to all regardless, Be kind because your single comment could cause pain and upset to many without realising. happiness is a precious commodity afforded to all so be happy, smile and above all have fun. Love to all Xx"Exactly couldn't agree with you more | |||
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"If that was the case I'd never post on the forums "Haha some don't have your confidence, something I admire in you | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome "Wise words indeed. Hopefully it might help a few people x | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome
I adore you lady. In a totally getting to know you kind of way obviously.
But I felt like that for a long time, then decided I was the only one who could change how I felt about it and whether it was in my head or not I'd be better off making the decision to jump in feet first and just be me.
And I think it kind of works. Not everyone will like everyone and not everyone will be attracted to everyone. But that's because we are human, that's life and we are a community and should just try and all get on anyway.
I think you're both beautiful ladies from the bones right out to the boobies! If only everyone could be kinder and more accepting and follow your lead in being inclusive rather than feeling threatened by the positive change you both bring.... ....I love you two endlessly. Massive hugs! "There is room for everyone on here. I can only speak from my own experience on here. Aw hugs | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome
Wise words indeed. Hopefully it might help a few people x "That's what I'm hoping for, it may not but I'm trying x | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation "I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind. | |||
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"If that was the case I'd never post on the forums
Haha some don't have your confidence, something I admire in you "Aww, thanks. It's not that I have alot of confidence, it's just that I don't particularly give a shit if strangers like me or not | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind. "I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size | |||
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"You're so lovely Frida. I've been loving all of your photos lately, you look gorgeous and it's nice to see more of you!! "Cheers LBC, just want everyone to feel included and can only speak from my own experience | |||
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"If that was the case I'd never post on the forums
Haha some don't have your confidence, something I admire in you
Aww, thanks. It's not that I have alot of confidence, it's just that I don't particularly give a shit if strangers like me or not "Love it | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind. "Men.... | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome
I class myself as one of those who don't fit in...I've been told you have a great personality....and your quote pretty but that's where it stops so my self esteem has never been high "Same hapen to me but i do feel i am welcome here more probably then i ever thought. Some days are more dificult then others but in the end i know most of people are lovely and regardless how we look like or how we feel they always makes as feel very welcome . I do feel your words OP and that's why Fabs is a great place to be , we all get well together | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size "And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider. | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider."Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim. | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim. "Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion? Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative? | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative? "I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative? | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?"Well Scarlet suggesting others are sugarcoating shit and sucking arse is not exactly a positive way to phrase your opinion. | |||
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"So last few weeks, I've had a few messages. Where people don't feel part of the forum because they don't fit physically into the slim and pretty mould that feels like the normal on here. And yes I used to feel like that too, not pretty or slim enough to be worthy of an opinion on the forum. Well guess what my lovelies, your body is as worthy as anyone else's, the validity of your opinions aren't based on the size of your clothing. Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome "Sorry op had a perv your stunning | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?"I just thought your last post talking about people sugar coating shit and people licking arse seemed unkind and unnecessary in a thread like this but I'll leave it now as don't want to ruin this post. | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?
Well Scarlet suggesting others are sugarcoating shit and sucking arse is not exactly a positive way to phrase your opinion." | |||
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"Adore you too my lovely. It's so true, but sometimes we need to see or hear that we are valid regardless of size. And I just wanted to put it out there for the ones like me who lurked before doing the same as you " | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?
Well Scarlet suggesting others are sugarcoating shit and sucking arse is not exactly a positive way to phrase your opinion."Maybe not. But I can't pretend that's what I do. I'm not saying that others do. You read that into what I wrote. | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?
Well Scarlet suggesting others are sugarcoating shit and sucking arse is not exactly a positive way to phrase your opinion.
Maybe not. But I can't pretend that's what I do. I'm not saying that others do. You read that into what I wrote. "Let’s leave it as that I do not wish to derail the thread. | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?
Well Scarlet suggesting others are sugarcoating shit and sucking arse is not exactly a positive way to phrase your opinion.
Maybe not. But I can't pretend that's what I do. I'm not saying that others do. You read that into what I wrote. Let’s leave it as that I do not wish to derail the thread."Glad you see the error of your ways. Seriously. It seems only certain peuple are allowed to feel like the forum gang up on them. | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?
Well Scarlet suggesting others are sugarcoating shit and sucking arse is not exactly a positive way to phrase your opinion.
Maybe not. But I can't pretend that's what I do. I'm not saying that others do. You read that into what I wrote. Let’s leave it as that I do not wish to derail the thread.
Glad you see the error of your ways. Seriously. It seems only certain peuple are allowed to feel like the forum gang up on them. "Love you all | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!!" I feel like that all the time | |||
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Love and kindness to all | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim. "If it's important to you, maybe think it through a little more and put it into words and write a separate thread on your own topic and see what responses you get? I don't believe it's fair to try to spoil this lady's genuine thread which is aimed at helping ppl to feel more positive about themselves and to not have to worry about others trying to push them off the forum with this kind of nonsense? Your replies are really just serving to prove her point aren't they.....? | |||
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"Beautifully said OP. Its a lifetimes work for many to be able to release insecurities around our bodies and learn to let go of the judgement. Ultimately it's an inside job.. But we do need each other to support and positively encourage change. X " Either you post less or I just miss them, but I love seeing you pop up Freya x | |||
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"Beautifully said OP. Its a lifetimes work for many to be able to release insecurities around our bodies and learn to let go of the judgement. Ultimately it's an inside job.. But we do need each other to support and positively encourage change. X Either you post less or I just miss them, but I love seeing you pop up Freya x " Innit
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"Beautifully said OP. Its a lifetimes work for many to be able to release insecurities around our bodies and learn to let go of the judgement. Ultimately it's an inside job.. But we do need each other to support and positively encourage change. X Either you post less or I just miss them, but I love seeing you pop up Freya x Innit
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
If it's important to you, maybe think it through a little more and put it into words and write a separate thread on your own topic and see what responses you get? I don't believe it's fair to try to spoil this lady's genuine thread which is aimed at helping ppl to feel more positive about themselves and to not have to worry about others trying to push them off the forum with this kind of nonsense? Your replies are really just serving to prove her point aren't they.....?"My only point was that the forum is full of people of different shapes and sizes. If anything there is way more acceptance of the more curvy and being slim and pretty doesn't make anyone more likely to be accepted. It's all down to perception. But I've got a point to prove and I'm derailing. So OK. I've said my piece. There's really no need to refer to my comments as nonsense. I've not been nasty. Others have misinterpreted my comments. That's usual for this place. People see what they want to. | |||
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"I think the forums are an easy place for insecurities to converge. Depending on your state of mind, people can read inflections into comments that arn't there. Considering it's a place to be social I think it leads also to much loneliness. Everyone has their own demons to battle. " Tru dat! | |||
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"I think the forums are an easy place for insecurities to converge. Depending on your state of mind, people can read inflections into comments that arn't there. Considering it's a place to be social I think it leads also to much loneliness. Everyone has their own demons to battle. " | |||
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"
There's been a lot of anger on this thread, I believe this statement to be true of anyone feeling excluded regardless of size, ethnicity,gender or sexual orientation.
I spoke only of my own truth | |||
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"I can see why some would feel like that. But honestly, if those lurking checked out profiles of forum users you will see they come in all shapes and sizes. There are some wonderfully interesting, funny, caring, knowledgeable posters on here and size is of no consequence to what they bring to the table. Take a deep breath and just join in. It’s always hard at first, whatever forum you first join, but don’t post for likes, just post to air your thoughts and take it from there. I guarantee someone somewhere may read what you say and it will strike a chord, even if they don’t reply to your post. We were all newbies at one point. That’s at least one thing we all have in common." | |||
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"Oh I get it I mingle In iv made some great friends here loyal friends and I never take it seriously." Men too. It took a while for me but I didn't mind that x | |||
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"Oh I get it I mingle In iv made some great friends here loyal friends and I never take it seriously. Men too. It took a while for me but I didn't mind that x" Xxx | |||
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"Oh I get it I mingle In iv made some great friends here loyal friends and I never take it seriously. Men too. It took a while for me but I didn't mind that x Xxx" Xxx | |||
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"Use the forums the way you want and do not give a fuck about others. But always respect Fiat owners. " This, all day long..... | |||
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"Jerpers considering the ending of my OP was "Is it in my mind or is it reality? Who really cares enjoy the forum it belongs to no-one and everyone is welcome "
There's been a lot of anger on this thread, I believe this statement to be true of anyone feeling excluded regardless of size, ethnicity,gender or sexual orientation.
I spoke only of my own truth "Where are you seeing anger? | |||
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"Use the forums the way you want and do not give a fuck about others. But always respect Fiat owners. " And Audi owners. | |||
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"Use the forums the way you want and do not give a fuck about others. But always respect Fiat owners. And Audi owners. "*She says while dreaming of driving a fiat Punto | |||
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"Use the forums the way you want and do not give a fuck about others. But always respect Fiat owners. And Audi owners.
*She says while dreaming of driving a fiat Punto"I was going to laugh but then I remembered your teacher’s advice - “don’t laugh at him and he’ll stop”. | |||
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Many ppl feeling bullied and unable to post their thoughts for fear of the angry folk, with others asking what they'd done wrong for being themselves, both larger and thinner. My observation is that a lot of people seem on edge lately and come to fab with a point to prove regardless of it's value, I guess maybe because it's value lies within themselves and is in effect their self worth, but idk maybe that's a simplified version of matters. I think the only point I was trying to make myself really (perhaps unsuccessfully) was why not let people speak and without shouting down their voice and experience with your own and try to respect the OP because often it can take a lot of courage to post a new thread, especially if it's personal to you - that's just human decency as far as I see it. We can all have a view without dismissing others and in the process dividing and labelling ourselves. I think there's right time and place. We can also help those less fortunate and be helped by others including those less fortunate in return. Hope that makes sense and no offense intended to the thin folk, just try letting the larger folk talk about their experience without hijacking it, and vice versa when a thin person posts about their personal experiences, listen with your ears and eyes and be respectful of their feelings and their self worth aswell as your own..... Peace to you all you beautiful people.... | |||
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"Use the forums the way you want and do not give a fuck about others. But always respect Fiat owners. And Audi owners.
*She says while dreaming of driving a fiat Punto
I was going to laugh but then I remembered your teacher’s advice - “don’t laugh at him and he’ll stop”. "I've actually seen her Audi, it's dead sexy! But she'd also look gorgeous over the bonnet of a fiat too I reckon.....  | |||
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" I think the only point I was trying to make myself really (perhaps unsuccessfully) was why not let people speak and without shouting down their voice and experience with your own and try to respect the OP because often it can take a lot of courage to post a new thread, especially if it's personal to you - that's just human decency as far as I see it. We can all have a view without dismissing others and in the process dividing and labelling ourselves. " So are you saying that unless people share the same view and experience as the OP of a thread , they shouldn't speak? | |||
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"Use the forums the way you want and do not give a fuck about others. But always respect Fiat owners. " Interesting concept, I'll remember that... Replacing the fiat owners for knights and horses! | |||
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"Nippy, are you saying that if you haven’t experienced the exact same as the OP and those she describes, then your views and input on the thread are somehow less valid? Does this not go so very strongly against the ethos of inclusivity that seems to be implied within the very OP itself? Why can’t two opposing viewpoints compliment one another? In fact, when I posted, I wondered whether it would be helpful to those who feel as the OP described, to know that actually, this “thin and pretty” ideal that they feel they don’t fit, which in their idealised view would instantly make them fit..... doesn’t in fact exist! Thin and pretty can still mean insecure and not feeling part of it. In a way; I wanted to empathise with the notion of not fitting, from the perspective of being perhaps someone viewed as “fitting”. I don’t know if this makes sense, as I’ve had about 4 hours sleep and I feel like shit. But basically ... my input was not intended to derail the thread or invalidate anyone’s experiences, it was the other perspective in a “I hope this helps to know” and “we all feel it regardless of size or looks” type of way. And I absolutely didn’t intend to “shout anyone down” (couldn’t be further from my interpersonal style). Hope this sleep deprived waffle makes some sense and OP - I apologise if anything I said was taken as an attempt to derail or invalidate. "Good morning! I ready both your replies and I totally understand how you feel , you’re right just because people are slimmer or prettier or even younger does not mean they’re going to ‘fit in’ and it’s not an automatic pass to popularity and there’s always pros and cons to being all different sizes . But what I was trying to say in my post is that it’s not the gorgeous ladies that can make you feel left out most are absolutely lovely and inclusive, but sometimes when posting on a thread there are a certain people that only reply to the pretty slim girls making some like me feeling left out but as I said that’s the fault of those replying and vying for attention not the lovely ladies! Does that make sense ? I posted twice on this thread last night and one was to give my opinion as a fat girl but it got completely ignored ironic eh? X | |||
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"Nippy, are you saying that if you haven’t experienced the exact same as the OP and those she describes, then your views and input on the thread are somehow less valid? Does this not go so very strongly against the ethos of inclusivity that seems to be implied within the very OP itself? Why can’t two opposing viewpoints compliment one another? In fact, when I posted, I wondered whether it would be helpful to those who feel as the OP described, to know that actually, this “thin and pretty” ideal that they feel they don’t fit, which in their idealised view would instantly make them fit..... doesn’t in fact exist! Thin and pretty can still mean insecure and not feeling part of it. In a way; I wanted to empathise with the notion of not fitting, from the perspective of being perhaps someone viewed as “fitting”. I don’t know if this makes sense, as I’ve had about 4 hours sleep and I feel like shit. But basically ... my input was not intended to derail the thread or invalidate anyone’s experiences, it was the other perspective in a “I hope this helps to know” and “we all feel it regardless of size or looks” type of way. And I absolutely didn’t intend to “shout anyone down” (couldn’t be further from my interpersonal style). Hope this sleep deprived waffle makes some sense and OP - I apologise if anything I said was taken as an attempt to derail or invalidate.
Good morning! I ready both your replies and I totally understand how you feel , you’re right just because people are slimmer or prettier or even younger does not mean they’re going to ‘fit in’ and it’s not an automatic pass to popularity and there’s always pros and cons to being all different sizes . But what I was trying to say in my post is that it’s not the gorgeous ladies that can make you feel left out most are absolutely lovely and inclusive, but sometimes when posting on a thread there are a certain people that only reply to the pretty slim girls making some like me feeling left out but as I said that’s the fault of those replying and vying for attention not the lovely ladies! Does that make sense ? I posted twice on this thread last night and one was to give my opinion as a fat girl but it got completely ignored ironic eh? X" | |||
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"Nippy, are you saying that if you haven’t experienced the exact same as the OP and those she describes, then your views and input on the thread are somehow less valid? Does this not go so very strongly against the ethos of inclusivity that seems to be implied within the very OP itself? Why can’t two opposing viewpoints compliment one another? In fact, when I posted, I wondered whether it would be helpful to those who feel as the OP described, to know that actually, this “thin and pretty” ideal that they feel they don’t fit, which in their idealised view would instantly make them fit..... doesn’t in fact exist! Thin and pretty can still mean insecure and not feeling part of it. In a way; I wanted to empathise with the notion of not fitting, from the perspective of being perhaps someone viewed as “fitting”. I don’t know if this makes sense, as I’ve had about 4 hours sleep and I feel like shit. But basically ... my input was not intended to derail the thread or invalidate anyone’s experiences, it was the other perspective in a “I hope this helps to know” and “we all feel it regardless of size or looks” type of way. And I absolutely didn’t intend to “shout anyone down” (couldn’t be further from my interpersonal style). Hope this sleep deprived waffle makes some sense and OP - I apologise if anything I said was taken as an attempt to derail or invalidate. "The op said love to you all..... I don't think you truly listened to what I or indeed she wrote my love..... | |||
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"Like Nippy said, there is a time and a place and Scarlett suddenly coming out with people sugar coat shit and suck arse was completely unrelated to the OP. Did anyone actually find that comment necessary or helpful? I'm not saying she can't post, but there was genuinely no need to make digs on such a sweet thread and try to turn it sour. *shrugs shoulders* Anyway, this thread has gone off into a completely different place now! " | |||
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all "I appreciated your intention and understood it. It was a lovely OP and your courage in posting it and the way you posted throughout it I found admirable. I’m sorry I contributed to derailing it | |||
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all "I totally appreciated this thread and also what you have just said I completely identify with your words and thank you for them xxx | |||
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all
I appreciated your intention and understood it. It was a lovely OP and your courage in posting it and the way you posted throughout it I found admirable. I’m sorry I contributed to derailing it"Not at all Doc I appreciate your input. Just saddened by this thread this morning and wish I hadn't posted it in all honesty | |||
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all
I appreciated your intention and understood it. It was a lovely OP and your courage in posting it and the way you posted throughout it I found admirable. I’m sorry I contributed to derailing it"I'm with you Doc! And I'm sorry too Frida as I definitely played a part in derailing. X | |||
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all
I appreciated your intention and understood it. It was a lovely OP and your courage in posting it and the way you posted throughout it I found admirable. I’m sorry I contributed to derailing it
Not at all Doc I appreciate your input. Just saddened by this thread this morning and wish I hadn't posted it in all honesty "What is it that is making you sad about the thread? | |||
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(Just waiting for someone to bring up "but what about the guys who say in their profile that they prefer bbw? I'm left out by them!" - think and liste and give it your second thought rather than your defensive gut reaction, yeah) | |||
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all
I appreciated your intention and understood it. It was a lovely OP and your courage in posting it and the way you posted throughout it I found admirable. I’m sorry I contributed to derailing it
Not at all Doc I appreciate your input. Just saddened by this thread this morning and wish I hadn't posted it in all honesty "Jo had gone to sleep before the thread derailed and I know for a fact the thread had a positive effect on Jo, I’m sure many others were the same. You did a good thing
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all
I appreciated your intention and understood it. It was a lovely OP and your courage in posting it and the way you posted throughout it I found admirable. I’m sorry I contributed to derailing it
Not at all Doc I appreciate your input. Just saddened by this thread this morning and wish I hadn't posted it in all honesty "Oh Lord that is what I feared last night. I know how hard it is for some to feel accepted and part of this community and I feel sad too that such a lovely well meant OP can get misconstrued. Please keep posting your thoughts, they resonate with so many people’s experience. | |||
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all
I appreciated your intention and understood it. It was a lovely OP and your courage in posting it and the way you posted throughout it I found admirable. I’m sorry I contributed to derailing it
Not at all Doc I appreciate your input. Just saddened by this thread this morning and wish I hadn't posted it in all honesty
Oh Lord that is what I feared last night. I know how hard it is for some to feel accepted and part of this community and I feel sad too that such a lovely well meant OP can get misconstrued. Please keep posting your thoughts, they resonate with so many people’s experience. "This | |||
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My long winded point is ... be nice. It doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t cost and you may even enjoy it | |||
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"Nippy, are you saying that if you haven’t experienced the exact same as the OP and those she describes, then your views and input on the thread are somehow less valid? Does this not go so very strongly against the ethos of inclusivity that seems to be implied within the very OP itself? Why can’t two opposing viewpoints compliment one another? In fact, when I posted, I wondered whether it would be helpful to those who feel as the OP described, to know that actually, this “thin and pretty” ideal that they feel they don’t fit, which in their idealised view would instantly make them fit..... doesn’t in fact exist! Thin and pretty can still mean insecure and not feeling part of it. In a way; I wanted to empathise with the notion of not fitting, from the perspective of being perhaps someone viewed as “fitting”. I don’t know if this makes sense, as I’ve had about 4 hours sleep and I feel like shit. But basically ... my input was not intended to derail the thread or invalidate anyone’s experiences, it was the other perspective in a “I hope this helps to know” and “we all feel it regardless of size or looks” type of way. And I absolutely didn’t intend to “shout anyone down” (couldn’t be further from my interpersonal style). Hope this sleep deprived waffle makes some sense and OP - I apologise if anything I said was taken as an attempt to derail or invalidate.
The op said love to you all.....
I don't think you truly listened to what I or indeed she wrote my love....."Ok. Well this will be last post as I feel quite strongly about the issues raised and it’s no longer a good place for me mentally. What I will say is - there is another side to this coin: one that the OP recognises she can’t comment as on she hasn’t experienced it. And when there is an fantasy “ideal” of “slim and pretty”, if you’re perceived to fit that, you become the person that is projected onto. I have experienced this. I’ve been blocked by ladies on here who I’ve never interacted with before, to be told later “it’s because they feel threatened that you’re slim and pretty”. But the block excluded me from interacting on a thread, and made me feel like shit, esp when i was trying to fit back in here after a 5 month break. That person hadn’t even given me a chance or spoken to me at all. And the sad irony is I really liked her from her posts in here. So. It doesn’t work for either party, does it.  | |||
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"Like Nippy said, there is a time and a place and Scarlett suddenly coming out with people sugar coat shit and suck arse was completely unrelated to the OP. Did anyone actually find that comment necessary or helpful? I'm not saying she can't post, but there was genuinely no need to make digs on such a sweet thread and try to turn it sour. *shrugs shoulders* Anyway, this thread has gone off into a completely different place now! "Maybe something resonated here for her to react like that....And I'm in no way saying anyone has done or said anything but maybe we could all use a little self reflection on how we all have a responsibility to make the Forum a friendly format for all. Fwiw I think to have a cross section of posts is healthy in a thread such as this because it highlights how people feel. Not everyone can feel fluffy all of the time and people should be able to express that, then it's up to us to see what we can do about it rather than slate or berate. | |||
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"Nippy, are you saying that if you haven’t experienced the exact same as the OP and those she describes, then your views and input on the thread are somehow less valid? Does this not go so very strongly against the ethos of inclusivity that seems to be implied within the very OP itself? Why can’t two opposing viewpoints compliment one another? In fact, when I posted, I wondered whether it would be helpful to those who feel as the OP described, to know that actually, this “thin and pretty” ideal that they feel they don’t fit, which in their idealised view would instantly make them fit..... doesn’t in fact exist! Thin and pretty can still mean insecure and not feeling part of it. In a way; I wanted to empathise with the notion of not fitting, from the perspective of being perhaps someone viewed as “fitting”. I don’t know if this makes sense, as I’ve had about 4 hours sleep and I feel like shit. But basically ... my input was not intended to derail the thread or invalidate anyone’s experiences, it was the other perspective in a “I hope this helps to know” and “we all feel it regardless of size or looks” type of way. And I absolutely didn’t intend to “shout anyone down” (couldn’t be further from my interpersonal style). Hope this sleep deprived waffle makes some sense and OP - I apologise if anything I said was taken as an attempt to derail or invalidate.
The op said love to you all.....
I don't think you truly listened to what I or indeed she wrote my love.....
Ok. Well this will be last post as I feel quite strongly about the issues raised and it’s no longer a good place for me mentally.
What I will say is - there is another side to this coin: one that the OP recognises she can’t comment as on she hasn’t experienced it. And when there is an fantasy “ideal” of “slim and pretty”, if you’re perceived to fit that, you become the person that is projected onto. I have experienced this. I’ve been blocked by ladies on here who I’ve never interacted with before, to be told later “it’s because they feel threatened that you’re slim and pretty”. But the block excluded me from interacting on a thread, and made me feel like shit, esp when i was trying to fit back in here after a 5 month break. That person hadn’t even given me a chance or spoken to me at all. And the sad irony is I really liked her from her posts in here.
So. It doesn’t work for either party, does it. "I am glad you have posted this as I wanted to say something about your posts but, as I haven’t had your experience, wasn’t able to find the words. I do understand the whole area of projection and the forum inevitably has a lot of projection going on. Sadly in a relatively unstructured environment like this the shadow of this community looms large and comes out frequently on these threads. We can with more compassion and love help each other to heal but maybe that is not seen as part of the purpose of such a site or forum. Sad irony seems to be one of the overriding feelings for me from this thread at the same time as hope because beneath most of the posts on the thread there is a deep caring for each other. How we can encourage that to be expressed more is something that bedevils me. | |||
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"Nippy, are you saying that if you haven’t experienced the exact same as the OP and those she describes, then your views and input on the thread are somehow less valid? Does this not go so very strongly against the ethos of inclusivity that seems to be implied within the very OP itself? Why can’t two opposing viewpoints compliment one another? In fact, when I posted, I wondered whether it would be helpful to those who feel as the OP described, to know that actually, this “thin and pretty” ideal that they feel they don’t fit, which in their idealised view would instantly make them fit..... doesn’t in fact exist! Thin and pretty can still mean insecure and not feeling part of it. In a way; I wanted to empathise with the notion of not fitting, from the perspective of being perhaps someone viewed as “fitting”. I don’t know if this makes sense, as I’ve had about 4 hours sleep and I feel like shit. But basically ... my input was not intended to derail the thread or invalidate anyone’s experiences, it was the other perspective in a “I hope this helps to know” and “we all feel it regardless of size or looks” type of way. And I absolutely didn’t intend to “shout anyone down” (couldn’t be further from my interpersonal style). Hope this sleep deprived waffle makes some sense and OP - I apologise if anything I said was taken as an attempt to derail or invalidate.
The op said love to you all.....
I don't think you truly listened to what I or indeed she wrote my love.....
Ok. Well this will be last post as I feel quite strongly about the issues raised and it’s no longer a good place for me mentally.
What I will say is - there is another side to this coin: one that the OP recognises she can’t comment as on she hasn’t experienced it. And when there is an fantasy “ideal” of “slim and pretty”, if you’re perceived to fit that, you become the person that is projected onto. I have experienced this. I’ve been blocked by ladies on here who I’ve never interacted with before, to be told later “it’s because they feel threatened that you’re slim and pretty”. But the block excluded me from interacting on a thread, and made me feel like shit, esp when i was trying to fit back in here after a 5 month break. That person hadn’t even given me a chance or spoken to me at all. And the sad irony is I really liked her from her posts in here.
So. It doesn’t work for either party, does it. "I noticed two blocks from forumites I'd never spoken to just yesterday. I pity them not myself though. Clearly I have something they don't and I'm grateful for it.... ....don't sweat the hate my lovely, why not instead help give voice to the OP and help each other with the challenges we face? | |||
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"I don’t necessarily link it with pretty or slim, I do link it with popular though. If you’re popular people respond and if you’re not then they skip past you and overlook you. I don’t have an issue with it because it says more about them than me. Interacting in the forums doesn’t mean you want to have sex (necessarily) so it should be as inclusive as possible. I dislike all sorts of division whatever the reason for it. In my experience popular kids know they are doing it and will dismiss it quite readily. It takes all shapes and sizes to appeal to all sorts of people. The forums are a snippet of Fab that’s all and whilst the few here may feel very popular, behind the scenes people are doing just fine elsewhere thank you very much
My long winded point is ... be nice. It doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t cost and you may even enjoy it " | |||
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"I see this in a similar way to black lives matter campaign and then there have been loads of replies saying, yes but im ginger and ginger lives matter too! Yes of course they do, but the OP still stands, even if every miserable mother fucker on the site feels left out, SHE the OP and some ppl she spoke to who are larger, felt left out! Just let them say it and discuss it without feeling jealous for five minutes maybe folks? Huh?
I love you "Sorry I missed you out my love, I'd gone to bed.... | |||
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"I see this in a similar way to black lives matter campaign and then there have been loads of replies saying, yes but im ginger and ginger lives matter too! Yes of course they do, but the OP still stands, even if every miserable mother fucker on the site feels left out, SHE the OP and some ppl she spoke to who are larger, felt left out! Just let them say it and discuss it without feeling jealous for five minutes maybe folks? Huh?
I love you
Sorry I missed you out my love, I'd gone to bed...."Mmwaaahhhh x | |||
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"Nice post But think forum fitting in is about more than body shape and how you feel Take care Jo x I'd probably agree but this is one of many important things and it's personal to the OP and the others she's described. If she'd asked what your personal problems fitting in were then maybe this would be a different thread entirely, but she didn't....
Apologies if I read it wrong
It's been a long day
No offence intended
Jo"Your comment was fine and you shouldn't apologise for it | |||
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"Nice post But think forum fitting in is about more than body shape and how you feel Take care Jo x I'd probably agree but this is one of many important things and it's personal to the OP and the others she's described. If she'd asked what your personal problems fitting in were then maybe this would be a different thread entirely, but she didn't....
Apologies if I read it wrong
It's been a long day
No offence intended
Jo
No need to apologise my love "I said this also.... | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?
Well Scarlet suggesting others are sugarcoating shit and sucking arse is not exactly a positive way to phrase your opinion.
Maybe not. But I can't pretend that's what I do. I'm not saying that others do. You read that into what I wrote. Let’s leave it as that I do not wish to derail the thread.
Glad you see the error of your ways. Seriously. It seems only certain peuple are allowed to feel like the forum gang up on them.
"I took your post as meaning you don't think you don't fit into the forum because of size but more because of your straight talking, or did I read it wrong? | |||
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"I honestly sometimes think I read a different forum to others!! Guess everyone has their own interpretation
I don't see anything from the forum massive that celebrates slim and pretty. I've seen them bigging up curvy and saying looks don't matter though. Interesting how perceptions differ depending on state of mind.
I can only explain my own experiences and of those I have spoken to. In my OP I stated I didn't know it was true or in my own mind. But it is a common problem from my own personal experience, and I wanted to reach out to those who felt they didn't belong due to their size
And that's all I'm doing sweetheart. Looking as a complete outsider.
Oh and I'm not allowed an opinion because I don't sugar coat shit and suck arse. Not because I'm not pretty and slim.
Wait, who said you weren't allowed an opinion?
Frida has made a lovely post here. So what's the point to turn this into something negative?
I saw someone saying about the forum making people feel like they weren't part of it. I didn't agree. How is that more negative?
Well Scarlet suggesting others are sugarcoating shit and sucking arse is not exactly a positive way to phrase your opinion.
Maybe not. But I can't pretend that's what I do. I'm not saying that others do. You read that into what I wrote. Let’s leave it as that I do not wish to derail the thread.
Glad you see the error of your ways. Seriously. It seems only certain peuple are allowed to feel like the forum gang up on them.
I took your post as meaning you don't think you don't fit into the forum because of size but more because of your straight talking, or did I read it wrong?
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"I'm forever landing myself in trouble and I had such an interesting inbox related to this thread.... Many ppl feeling bullied and unable to post their thoughts for fear of the angry folk, with others asking what they'd done wrong for being themselves, both larger and thinner. My observation is that a lot of people seem on edge lately and come to fab with a point to prove regardless of it's value, I guess maybe because it's value lies within themselves and is in effect their self worth, but idk maybe that's a simplified version of matters. I think the only point I was trying to make myself really (perhaps unsuccessfully) was why not let people speak and without shouting down their voice and experience with your own and try to respect the OP "They did, but you seem to have taken offence at what people wrote. Attacking people (even if you don't name a specific person )for having their own views while telling them to have respect for other peoples views is a bit ironic and also against forum rules. Let people speak, it is allowed. | |||
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"I'm forever landing myself in trouble and I had such an interesting inbox related to this thread.... Many ppl feeling bullied and unable to post their thoughts for fear of the angry folk, with others asking what they'd done wrong for being themselves, both larger and thinner. My observation is that a lot of people seem on edge lately and come to fab with a point to prove regardless of it's value, I guess maybe because it's value lies within themselves and is in effect their self worth, but idk maybe that's a simplified version of matters. I think the only point I was trying to make myself really (perhaps unsuccessfully) was why not let people speak and without shouting down their voice and experience with your own and try to respect the OP
They did, but you seem to have taken offence at what people wrote. Attacking people (even if you don't name a specific person )for having their own views while telling them to have respect for other peoples views is a bit ironic and also against forum rules.
Let people speak, it is allowed."I'll bear that in mind, thanks | |||
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"I guess I found this thread hard, I posted a very personal OP about my own feelings and ones I associated with. There was no malice to others and I specifically said in the thread I wasn't bashing others. Slimmer people may have a variety of different issue that I cannot comment on as I do not experience them. As a larger lady do I have issues with sense of fitting in yes, many of us do. We worry about going to gym just in case we are sniggered at, or if we are bridesmaid dress shopping will there be a dress I can actually get in or it can be can I get into that crowded train or not. Do these insecurities and not feeling you belong transfer over to fab, unfortunately yes. The OP was about not letting your own waist size stop you from enjoying the forum. And as I've mentioned previously, everyone is valid and nobody owns the forums, EVERYBODY is welcome here. I just wish some could see the positivity and outreach to others. Love to all "I totally get what you’re saying, I don’t always want to admit to struggling to fit in, and feeling left out of the forums but, it happens far to regularly. Lots of people have forgotten the be kind message. I know we’re all struggling with lockdown but we never know what is going on behind the scenes of each other’s lives. If someone doesn’t agree with what’s been posted they should ignore in this instance, and keep the thread positive. It’s nice to know that some people I see as being popular are also feeling like me. Thanks Frida x | |||
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"I'm forever landing myself in trouble and I had such an interesting inbox related to this thread.... Many ppl feeling bullied and unable to post their thoughts for fear of the angry folk, with others asking what they'd done wrong for being themselves, both larger and thinner. My observation is that a lot of people seem on edge lately and come to fab with a point to prove regardless of it's value, I guess maybe because it's value lies within themselves and is in effect their self worth, but idk maybe that's a simplified version of matters. I think the only point I was trying to make myself really (perhaps unsuccessfully) was why not let people speak and without shouting down their voice and experience with your own and try to respect the OP
They did, but you seem to have taken offence at what people wrote. Attacking people (even if you don't name a specific person )for having their own views while telling them to have respect for other peoples views is a bit ironic and also against forum rules.
Let people speak, it is allowed.
I'll bear that in mind, thanks "https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules | |||
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