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Fucking a watermelon
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tried the water mellon, but found it difficult keeping it in position, ended up jamming it between the mattress  "
Ah engineering clamps worked wonders until one day I tried an overripe one. I was just getting up to speed and boom it exploded like one of the heads in the film Kingsman. It was a bugger to get off the ceiling. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And (if you’re doing requests) could you roger one of those old style hoovers. For similar bean flicking purposes.
 "
I tried a Miele once. The Dyson was shot in comparison. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried the water mellon, but found it difficult keeping it in position, ended up jamming it between the mattress
Ah engineering clamps worked wonders until one day I tried an overripe one. I was just getting up to speed and boom it exploded like one of the heads in the film Kingsman. It was a bugger to get off the ceiling."
Oooofftt e gineering clamps, now that's a different thread mate  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hope you did a vid and uploaded it to various porn sites so I may seek it out and flick my bean to it.
 "
Sadly it got taken down as I offended the RSPF |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did you purchase the watermelon first or just help yourself outside local green grocers ? "
The greengrocer let me have it for free if I allowed him to film it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck?"
I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol. "
I do pineapple instead  |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I can't view fruits and sexual acts in the same way again after seeing the vid of the grapefruit and the horror movie noises...
Because of the citrus sting?"
Nope! Go check out the vid on YouTube. Angel grapefruit technique. Sound is required, but you may want earphones to be safe. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't view fruits and sexual acts in the same way again after seeing the vid of the grapefruit and the horror movie noises...
Because of the citrus sting?
Nope! Go check out the vid on YouTube. Angel grapefruit technique. Sound is required, but you may want earphones to be safe. "
Oh yeah I think I saw that a few years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds painful. I'd like the video.
I'm not sure I could fuck a watermelon but I could definitely make a hole and tongue fuck it. I could probably push one out too as my vag is massive. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"I can't view fruits and sexual acts in the same way again after seeing the vid of the grapefruit and the horror movie noises...
Because of the citrus sting?
Nope! Go check out the vid on YouTube. Angel grapefruit technique. Sound is required, but you may want earphones to be safe. "
 oh my. |
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"I can't view fruits and sexual acts in the same way again after seeing the vid of the grapefruit and the horror movie noises...
Because of the citrus sting?
Nope! Go check out the vid on YouTube. Angel grapefruit technique. Sound is required, but you may want earphones to be safe. "
I saw that in a movie a couple of years ago,, hilarious |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure how a woman would fuck a watermelon...
Oh I’m all for including all fruits.
Oh good. I’m sure there’s an option for us all then... "
Sure check out a Buddha’s hand
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Halibut is reported to be a good substitute ! I have no idea which end your supposed to fuck never having tried it , and with the price of fish !! Probably cheaper to find a whore "
Yep always fancied fucking a fish but couldn’t find a plaice to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why the fuck would you !
I’m writing a book called lockdown confessions. This thread is chapter one.
It's a good job I know you ffs "
I hear lockdown has done strange things to folk though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Halibut is reported to be a good substitute ! I have no idea which end your supposed to fuck never having tried it , and with the price of fish !! Probably cheaper to find a whore
Yep always fancied fucking a fish but couldn’t find a plaice to do it."
Billingsgate big selection lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Halibut is reported to be a good substitute ! I have no idea which end your supposed to fuck never having tried it , and with the price of fish !! Probably cheaper to find a whore
Yep always fancied fucking a fish but couldn’t find a plaice to do it.
Billingsgate big selection lol "
You haddock me at big  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead "
oh well that's a different taste altogether |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead oh well that's a different taste altogether"
See peeps just can’t resist fruity fucks
#FruityFucksRUs |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"I’m not sure how a woman would fuck a watermelon... "
I'm envisioning a wedge, like a Terry's chocolate orange segment. Would have to be a well ripened one for a more pleasant, soft texture. |
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"Halibut is reported to be a good substitute ! I have no idea which end your supposed to fuck never having tried it , and with the price of fish !! Probably cheaper to find a whore
Yep always fancied fucking a fish but couldn’t find a plaice to do it.
Billingsgate big selection lol
You haddock me at big "
I Haddock a girlfriend once who asked me to remain Halibut to her whilst she was away .. I said sure but if Salmon comes along and I fall in love I can make no promises |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"Sounds painful. I'd like the video.
I'm not sure I could fuck a watermelon but I could definitely make a hole and tongue fuck it. I could probably push one out too as my vag is massive. "
I'd subscribe to that onlyfans |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m not sure how a woman would fuck a watermelon...
I'm envisioning a wedge, like a Terry's chocolate orange segment. Would have to be a well ripened one for a more pleasant, soft texture. "
I seem to remember they are very good for rubbing on their boobs. I seem to remember a Scottish flower of the forum using them recently for this purpose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead oh well that's a different taste altogether
See peeps just can’t resist fruity fucks
#FruityFucksRUs"
I actually love an alcohol tasting cock. Mouth full of lager and try not to spill any or swallow |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"I’m not sure how a woman would fuck a watermelon...
I'm envisioning a wedge, like a Terry's chocolate orange segment. Would have to be a well ripened one for a more pleasant, soft texture.
I seem to remember they are very good for rubbing on their boobs. I seem to remember a Scottish flower of the forum using them recently for this purpose"
Oh..? |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead oh well that's a different taste altogether
See peeps just can’t resist fruity fucks
#FruityFucksRUs I actually love an alcohol tasting cock. Mouth full of lager and try not to spill any or swallow "
Niche. But I'm imagining a lightly sparkling sensation would feel great. No Carling. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Halibut is reported to be a good substitute ! I have no idea which end your supposed to fuck never having tried it , and with the price of fish !! Probably cheaper to find a whore
Yep always fancied fucking a fish but couldn’t find a plaice to do it.
Billingsgate big selection lol
You haddock me at big
I Haddock a girlfriend once who asked me to remain Halibut to her whilst she was away .. I said sure but if Salmon comes along and I fall in love I can make no promises "
You have a ray with words, you could make a fortuna |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead oh well that's a different taste altogether
See peeps just can’t resist fruity fucks
#FruityFucksRUs I actually love an alcohol tasting cock. Mouth full of lager and try not to spill any or swallow "
I like my pork in cider |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tried the water mellon, but found it difficult keeping it in position, ended up jamming it between the mattress
Ah engineering clamps worked wonders until one day I tried an overripe one. I was just getting up to speed and boom it exploded like one of the heads in the film Kingsman. It was a bugger to get off the ceiling."
Buckled laughing here reading that ^ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tried the water mellon, but found it difficult keeping it in position, ended up jamming it between the mattress
Ah engineering clamps worked wonders until one day I tried an overripe one. I was just getting up to speed and boom it exploded like one of the heads in the film Kingsman. It was a bugger to get off the ceiling.
Buckled laughing here reading that ^ "
I’m here all week  |
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"Halibut is reported to be a good substitute ! I have no idea which end your supposed to fuck never having tried it , and with the price of fish !! Probably cheaper to find a whore
Yep always fancied fucking a fish but couldn’t find a plaice to do it.
Billingsgate big selection lol
You haddock me at big
I Haddock a girlfriend once who asked me to remain Halibut to her whilst she was away .. I said sure but if Salmon comes along and I fall in love I can make no promises You have a ray with words, you could make a fortuna "
Touché |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead oh well that's a different taste altogether
See peeps just can’t resist fruity fucks
#FruityFucksRUs I actually love an alcohol tasting cock. Mouth full of lager and try not to spill any or swallow
Niche. But I'm imagining a lightly sparkling sensation would feel great. No Carling. "
eww I dont drink Carling anyway lol. Now prosecco is good though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead oh well that's a different taste altogether
See peeps just can’t resist fruity fucks
#FruityFucksRUs I actually love an alcohol tasting cock. Mouth full of lager and try not to spill any or swallow
I like my pork in cider"
I bet you do. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tried one of those yellow honey dew melons one time when I was a kid, it just made a mess and then I had to go and buy a replacement quickly before my mum noticed, which of course she did notice....   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I tried one of those yellow honey dew melons one time when I was a kid, it just made a mess and then I had to go and buy a replacement quickly before my mum noticed, which of course she did notice.... "
Oh yes I like ‘to break my fat on honey dew and drink the milk of paradise’. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried one of those yellow honey dew melons one time when I was a kid, it just made a mess and then I had to go and buy a replacement quickly before my mum noticed, which of course she did notice.... Oh yes I like ‘to break my fat on honey dew and drink the milk of paradise’. "
It was an age ago, but the seeds were surprisingly sharp as I recall..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I tried one of those yellow honey dew melons one time when I was a kid, it just made a mess and then I had to go and buy a replacement quickly before my mum noticed, which of course she did notice.... Oh yes I like ‘to break my fat on honey dew and drink the milk of paradise’.
It was an age ago, but the seeds were surprisingly sharp as I recall..... "
Yes seeds in the foreskin is an occupational hazard. But pinging them out like a peashooter is fun. Peeown peeown |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead oh well that's a different taste altogether
See peeps just can’t resist fruity fucks
#FruityFucksRUs I actually love an alcohol tasting cock. Mouth full of lager and try not to spill any or swallow
Niche. But I'm imagining a lightly sparkling sensation would feel great. No Carling. eww I dont drink Carling anyway lol. Now prosecco is good though "
Add a peach schnapps and you can have a Bellendi. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tried one of those yellow honey dew melons one time when I was a kid, it just made a mess and then I had to go and buy a replacement quickly before my mum noticed, which of course she did notice.... Oh yes I like ‘to break my fat on honey dew and drink the milk of paradise’.
It was an age ago, but the seeds were surprisingly sharp as I recall.....
Yes seeds in the foreskin is an occupational hazard. But pinging them out like a peashooter is fun. Peeown peeown "
Stoppitttt, you're bringing back old memories and making my shorts go all tight..... |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"On Fabulous & Bearded’s (F&B for short) advice I tried fucking a watermelon. It was slushy and sloppy, slippy but not too sticky, and made my precinct taste like J2O. The only issue was when the pips got caught in my foreskin and I had to pee them out like frisbees caught in a firehose?
Has anyone else had a fruity fuck? I couldnt think of a worse taste than a watermelon tasting cock. I'm heaving at the thoughts of it. And I mean the taste not the size lol.
I do pineapple instead oh well that's a different taste altogether
See peeps just can’t resist fruity fucks
#FruityFucksRUs I actually love an alcohol tasting cock. Mouth full of lager and try not to spill any or swallow
Niche. But I'm imagining a lightly sparkling sensation would feel great. No Carling. eww I dont drink Carling anyway lol. Now prosecco is good though
Add a peach schnapps and you can have a Bellendi."
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I tried one of those yellow honey dew melons one time when I was a kid, it just made a mess and then I had to go and buy a replacement quickly before my mum noticed, which of course she did notice.... Oh yes I like ‘to break my fat on honey dew and drink the milk of paradise’.
It was an age ago, but the seeds were surprisingly sharp as I recall.....
Yes seeds in the foreskin is an occupational hazard. But pinging them out like a peashooter is fun. Peeown peeown
Stoppitttt, you're bringing back old memories and making my shorts go all tight..... "
Fucking melons is good exercise I’m sure your shorts will feel looser after a few melon workouts. |
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and then u can fuck me how many time you would be like to 