FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > First impressions of the forum....

First impressions of the forum....

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

...what did you make of the place the first time you popped in....?

Was it a long time ago or more recently? What made you look here? Were you welcomed or did you feel left out? Did you jump in and chat straight away or hang back and observe? Did you say anything embarrassing? What was your first thread? What made you stick at it and what keeps you here....?

Tell me your shiz plz?

I'm good for vag now unless you feel I really deserve it, thanks....

Have a wonderful Monday everyone

Much love

Nip x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I was just happy to see people as weird and crazy as I am

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By *aptinfaptastikMan over a year ago

Derby

I've just joined and easing in gently.... Chatroom blows my mind how fast it moves??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Plenty of cake

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think I was just happy to see people as weird and crazy as I am

Awww, I love you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've just joined and easing in gently.... Chatroom blows my mind how fast it moves??"

I LOVE chat rooms, they're such a buzz, haven't been in ages, must go soon...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was like jumping into a bear pit.

When I see the odd thread these days bemoaned people being narky and unwelcoming I have to laugh... it was absolutely brutal when I first joined in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clicky, after 10 years I still think it is but I'm not arsed now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Plenty of cake

I still don't get the cake thing tbh, I never asked, but in a way I'm kinda glad of that innocence.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I tried to slink in unnoticed

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It was like jumping into a bear pit.

When I see the odd thread these days bemoaned people being narky and unwelcoming I have to laugh... it was absolutely brutal when I first joined in

Ppl are amazing though in what they can produce!

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By *aptinfaptastikMan over a year ago

Derby

"Plenty of cake

I still don't get the cake thing tbh, I never asked, but in a way I'm kinda glad of that innocence.....

Is it a Brass eye reference?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Clicky, after 10 years I still think it is but I'm not arsed now."

I think it's as much of that as your mind allows it to be. I think most groups seen as cliques are pretty loosely bonded and open to new folk....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I tried to slink in unnoticed

Did you succeed?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Plenty of cake

I still don't get the cake thing tbh, I never asked, but in a way I'm kinda glad of that innocence.....

Is it a Brass eye reference?"

Shush, I like my innocence.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I tried to slink in unnoticed

Did you succeed?"

I drink way too much to remember

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

When I dipped my toe into the forums three years ago there were a few people (both sexes) who didn't seem to take kindly to new interlopers...which amused me.

That's why I try to be welcoming to newbies now.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

I joined fab to learn more about BDSM and basically dynamics between people, relationships etc.

That's how I found fab and the forums.

I jumped into the forums, kinda finding my way. I didn't appreciate right away that people knew each other and had been on for a fair while, but i learnt that very quickly by reading and picking up on nuances etc.

I'm very much a piss taker when it comes to people but not in a meanie way, like if I've seen someone around a few times I'll say things like "alright shitbag?" but that's meant in an endearing way. People needed to learn that about me, but I also had to learn that not everyone would take kindly to it

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

If I’m honest I was intimidated at first, watched and read stuff for a while before joining in. Now I love it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I tried to slink in unnoticed

Did you succeed?

I drink way too much to remember

That's the thing, because as I wrote this thread, I honestly couldn't remember my own first time..... .....either it was too long ago or extremely insignificant, or I'm just so old my memory isn't working as it should....

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

Scary as hell, didn't understand what was going on a lot of threads. They may as well have spoken a different language. But then a forumite started chatting to me and I became more confident.

My first thread bombed but hasn't stopped me

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well.

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By *iberty RedWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

Discovered them one night when I couldn't sleep, more of a lurker but have commented occasionally. Some pretty entertaining posts & a great way to make friends too

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well. "

And now?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When I dipped my toe into the forums three years ago there were a few people (both sexes) who didn't seem to take kindly to new interlopers...which amused me.

That's why I try to be welcoming to newbies now.

Yeah I think some ppl see it as being about status. Status for me comes from inclusion. If you exclude everyone, who's gonna like you....?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wanted to find out about local Club recommendations it was November 2013. The thread was a lot more challenging than I expected and feisty. I really enjoyed the sparring. As it happened I didn’t tie up the favoured recommendation as the woman I was going to go with left the site. So not long before Christmas I thought I’d venture in again and this time into the lounge. I noticed a significantly higher proportion of women posting than I’d experienced in the chat rooms and found the games and fun side of the place very engaging. By Christmas I was hooked. I have got to know quite a few people through the fora and it is they who have kept me coming back. I’ve learned a lot about myself during that time too, have become more sexually educated and aware of other things I had never known much about by taking part in the fora.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Plenty of cake

I still don't get the cake thing tbh, I never asked, but in a way I'm kinda glad of that innocence.....

Ladies love a cake

I’m a chef

We do cake

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

So long ago!

Probably lurked for a bit. Then just started commenting on threads, you kind of just talk to yourself at the start. Then clicked with a few people.

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By *od ThrusterMan over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

I pop into the forums almost every day, but don't always post. I wouldn't say I feel unwelcome but I wouldn't say I've been welcomed either, just an insignificant part of it all.

Maybe it's a bit like real life, I hang around the periphery not pushing myself forward but hoping to be brought into the fold.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Not being rude, I have a meeting now, I'll try and reply to all you good folks later. Thanks for your words.....

xxx

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By *tephTV67TV/TS over a year ago

Cheshire

My first post was just to say hello, something along the lines of ‘New TV /CD saying hi’.

I was then attacked (debated ???) by others saying I can’t be both. I found the block button soon after I put my thoughts across.

Didn’t put me off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It was like jumping into a bear pit.

When I see the odd thread these days bemoaned people being narky and unwelcoming I have to laugh... it was absolutely brutal when I first joined in

This.

My first thread I asked a question that had been asked before. I was ripped to shreds.

'Friendly forum' my arse.

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

I got my first meet from the forum thinking back, someone PMing after what I said on a thread.

In fact I think most of my meets come from the forums! But I don't tend to spam out how's u messages to randoms in their inboxes.

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well.

And now?"

Now I'm better at hiding it. At least online.

Plus I've come to realise that I've actually got a voice, and i like to try and use it to make people smile and feel good about themselves. That is what makes me smile. So win win on that.

And there are some people who for whatever reason, I'm not going to be able to make smile. And that's OK too.

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

I was here over a year before I even looked at it

was scary at first

now I’m just part of the furniture

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well.

And now?

Now I'm better at hiding it. At least online.

Plus I've come to realise that I've actually got a voice, and i like to try and use it to make people smile and feel good about themselves. That is what makes me smile. So win win on that.

And there are some people who for whatever reason, I'm not going to be able to make smile. And that's OK too. "

You do have a voice, and in my eyes anything that anyone says from the heart absolutely IS important.

I hope I haven't been one that came across snooty, grumpy or unapproachable. If I have, I apologise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It was like jumping into a bear pit.

When I see the odd thread these days bemoaned people being narky and unwelcoming I have to laugh... it was absolutely brutal when I first joined in

This.

My first thread I asked a question that had been asked before. I was ripped to shreds.

'Friendly forum' my arse. "

It was often brutal. I remember my first real roasting. There are a couple of forum users still here from that roasting back in April 2014. I dared to ask about understanding the mind of a woman. It was meant to be humorous but I didn’t have the presence of forum experience to turn it that way. It didn’t put me off though.

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By *hat BlokeMan over a year ago

Harrogate

I like to chat with like minded people about general stuff. We may all be kinky(ish) but on other subjects opinions will vary and differ. It nice to be able to read and contribute to some of the discussions.

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I got my first meet from the forum thinking back, someone PMing after what I said on a thread.

In fact I think most of my meets come from the forums! But I don't tend to spam out how's u messages to randoms in their inboxes. "

Yes I've had some good meets via the forum too

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well.

And now?

Now I'm better at hiding it. At least online.

Plus I've come to realise that I've actually got a voice, and i like to try and use it to make people smile and feel good about themselves. That is what makes me smile. So win win on that.

And there are some people who for whatever reason, I'm not going to be able to make smile. And that's OK too.

You do have a voice, and in my eyes anything that anyone says from the heart absolutely IS important.

I hope I haven't been one that came across snooty, grumpy or unapproachable. If I have, I apologise.

Not at all, but I really appreciate you saying it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got my first meet from the forum thinking back, someone PMing after what I said on a thread.

In fact I think most of my meets come from the forums! But I don't tend to spam out how's u messages to randoms in their inboxes.

Yes I've had some good meets via the forum too

I’ve only met people from the fora except for my first one, but that was a guy so I don’t count it in the same way.

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By *stbury DavenportMan over a year ago

Nottingham

First impressions of the forum:

- On the technical level, it's rudimentary at best.

- It's *very* cliquey, and if your face doesn't fit, you're going to struggle.

- The user base here is significantly more right-wing and conspiracy-minded than any other environment I've previously ventured into.

- It's a timekiller more than a serious tool for meeting people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t get the chicken thing tho

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was on site for quite a wee while before I checked out foruma. Then was a week or so before I dived in feet first. I remember my first thread doing quite well, was country bumpkin or city slicker I think. I've always felt welcomed, don't always get replies or responses, but all is good, doesn't make me feel bad or anything.

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By *luebellRacerCouple over a year ago

Shropshire

Took a while to figure out the different areas, I'm not shy and I'm known for jumping in feet first, so just got stuck in!

Just learn to ignore and gloss over the negative and embrace and enjoy the weird and wonderfulness!

The only thing I can't stand is lies. Use your own pictures, google image search is a wonderful tool, just be yourself!

Yes there's more regulars on here atm, all depends on people's free time. Lots of people are furloughed or working from home still, so the forums are a great boredom buster!

Personally find it a great space to figure out who's on your wavelength. Some people I would previously passed by or never seen, are now on our hotlist and friends list!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I’m honest I was intimidated at first, watched and read stuff for a while before joining in. Now I love it.

Especially my threads, right...?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m just dipping my toes.. again for what seems like the millionth time... I can never stick at the forum stuff...

I find the forums cliquey and it sorta blows my mind that the majority of posts are made by the same group of posters and most of them don’t consider themselves swingers.

This is a weird place... but it’s fun for short periods.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Scary as hell, didn't understand what was going on a lot of threads. They may as well have spoken a different language. But then a forumite started chatting to me and I became more confident.

My first thread bombed but hasn't stopped me

Forumites can be proper friendly like that....

Do you remember the thread?

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By *luebellRacerCouple over a year ago

Shropshire

"I don’t get the chicken thing tho

Cocks everywhere! Bloody roosters!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well. "

I think this place is good for you and vice versa....

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Scary as hell, didn't understand what was going on a lot of threads. They may as well have spoken a different language. But then a forumite started chatting to me and I became more confident.

My first thread bombed but hasn't stopped me

Forumites can be proper friendly like that....

Do you remember the thread?"

Yep it was on liking pictures of people wearing normal clothes as well as being all dolled up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Discovered them one night when I couldn't sleep, more of a lurker but have commented occasionally. Some pretty entertaining posts & a great way to make friends too"

I think you instantly have something in common with anyone on the forum simply because you both read the same shit and because if all the topics. When blind messaging ppl are more difficult to penetrate....

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

"If I’m honest I was intimidated at first, watched and read stuff for a while before joining in. Now I love it.

Especially my threads, right...?

I wouldn’t say you were especially intimidating. You came across as one of the more playful and easier to get on with ones.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That I wanted to have sex with quite a few forum people and so I did

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I joined fab to learn more about BDSM and basically dynamics between people, relationships etc.

That's how I found fab and the forums.

I thinks it's a great place to learn about people and yourself too....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think I was just happy to see people as weird and crazy as I am

Awww, I love you

Aww shucks Nip!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I wanted to find out about local Club recommendations it was November 2013. The thread was a lot more challenging than I expected and feisty. I really enjoyed the sparring. As it happened I didn’t tie up the favoured recommendation as the woman I was going to go with left the site. So not long before Christmas I thought I’d venture in again and this time into the lounge. I noticed a significantly higher proportion of women posting than I’d experienced in the chat rooms and found the games and fun side of the place very engaging. By Christmas I was hooked. I have got to know quite a few people through the fora and it is they who have kept me coming back. I’ve learned a lot about myself during that time too, have become more sexually educated and aware of other things I had never known much about by taking part in the fora."

I think the addiction can be a healthy addiction too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Plenty of cake

I still don't get the cake thing tbh, I never asked, but in a way I'm kinda glad of that innocence.....

Ladies love a cake

I’m a chef

We do cake

Why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So long ago!

Probably lurked for a bit. Then just started commenting on threads, you kind of just talk to yourself at the start. Then clicked with a few people. "

I totally get the talking to yourself bit! Then after a while ppl start to take notice....

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By *B69Woman over a year ago

Wiltshire

I lurked for a long time and gradually added the odd comment, it was intimidating at first but found most people welcoming, still yet to start my own thread as it’s hard to keep up sometimes with others.

If it wasn’t for the forums I doubt I would of stayed on here or met and chatted with some really lovely people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just remembered my first time now - Rubi's fault. Can't mention it sadly due to forum rules, her thread went a bit Pete Tong.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Probably a bit cliquey, but I plough on regardless and just post waffle anyway.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day

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By *ld StrumpetWoman over a year ago

Telford

First time I ever joined fab I was d*unk and had about thirty messages before I’d finished filling my profile out. I shit you not most of them was guys over 60 In my d*unk State I thought I’d joined on oap night. Freaked and deleted account. Now I love all the older guys they proper make me smile

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By *evil-AngelWoman over a year ago

...

I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I don't think there are cliques as such but there are friendship groups and sometimes the conversation and inside jokes spill over into the forums. I'm not saying this is a bad thing but it does make it tricky for shy people to join in sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

"I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

I hear you. I for one think you’re lovely from my interactions with you and would welcome you warmly to the forums

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

Make sure you always say hi on my threads my lovely....

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well.

I think this place is good for you and vice versa....

Aww thanks Nip

Mostly it's good for me

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By *evil-AngelWoman over a year ago

...

"I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

I hear you. I for one think you’re lovely from my interactions with you and would welcome you warmly to the forums

Thank you

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By *evil-AngelWoman over a year ago

...

"I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

Make sure you always say hi on my threads my lovely....

I will, thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The forums was great tbh. The cams scared the shit out of me though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The forums was great tbh. The cams scared the shit out of me though. "

I do remember my first thread

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

Exactly how I feel, still. But you're a delight and it's lovely seeing you blossom

Always good to see you come and play

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

It does take time but it will get easier as you get to know people. Welcome btw!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Plenty of cake

I still don't get the cake thing tbh, I never asked, but in a way I'm kinda glad of that innocence.....

Ladies love a cake

I’m a chef

We do cake

Why?

Coz we do

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By *obbychickWoman over a year ago

Essex

I was a little lost when I first joined the forums. I observed and chucked in a bit of me where ever I felt I was needed

Forum fabbers have always been so welcoming and I’ve never felt unwelcome here

My vag is still missing btw

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nippy...you were one of the first people I spoke to, back in the days of xperia, and it caused dramas

Not a great first experience

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By *xmfrvnMan over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"Plenty of cake

It's spelled C-L-I-Q-U-E

Seriously though, as has been said before, what is seen as cliques is just established members who have built a rapport.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been on here about 18 months , it’s 99% me as Dave hardly ever comes on the forums , it took a long time to work out the dynamics and feel like people we’re interested in anything I had to say and sometimes I get weeks where I think nobody is interested BUT if you keep yourself chilled and take it for what it is keep out of any drama then it’s a great place! I’ve made some amazing friends, met some very sexy people and also had a lot of support if needed

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By *xmfrvnMan over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"I was a little lost when I first joined the forums. I observed and chucked in a bit of me where ever I felt I was needed

Forum fabbers have always been so welcoming and I’ve never felt unwelcome here

My vag is still missing btw "

Where did you last see it? I'll help you look for it...

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By *obbychickWoman over a year ago

Essex

"I was a little lost when I first joined the forums. I observed and chucked in a bit of me where ever I felt I was needed

Forum fabbers have always been so welcoming and I’ve never felt unwelcome here

My vag is still missing btw

Where did you last see it? I'll help you look for it... "

It’s been lost for so long that I can’t recall when I last saw it

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

"The forums was great tbh. The cams scared the shit out of me though.

I do remember my first thread "

What was it about?

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By *iercedlotsCouple over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

This

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By *xmfrvnMan over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"I was a little lost when I first joined the forums. I observed and chucked in a bit of me where ever I felt I was needed

Forum fabbers have always been so welcoming and I’ve never felt unwelcome here

My vag is still missing btw

Where did you last see it? I'll help you look for it...

It’s been lost for so long that I can’t recall when I last saw it

I'll keep my eyes peeled

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By *nliveneTV/TS over a year ago

Selby

A couple friend of mine in other site asked me to join fabs and so happy i joined

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By *obbychickWoman over a year ago

Essex

"I was a little lost when I first joined the forums. I observed and chucked in a bit of me where ever I felt I was needed

Forum fabbers have always been so welcoming and I’ve never felt unwelcome here

My vag is still missing btw

Where did you last see it? I'll help you look for it...

It’s been lost for so long that I can’t recall when I last saw it

I'll keep my eyes peeled

You are too kind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was ignored for the first few months, nobody would ever respond to me really but I didn't think it was unwelcoming or full of terrible people. I guess in a way it's similar to when you start a new job and you don't know anybody so people don't chat to you too much.

I didn't post too much at the beginning. But, I found the more i gave the more I got from the forums. And now I feel very at home.

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By *estrained_DallianceMan over a year ago

Cardiff

Generally friendly and certainly entertaining....

Just takes a while to get up the confident to go for it and post!

Particularly enjoy watching the more contentious threads but for now resisting diving in to those!

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

I thought I won’t be going in there again. 3 years down the line I say the same thing every time I log out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nippy...you were one of the first people I spoke to, back in the days of xperia, and it caused dramas

Not a great first experience "

I was wracking my brain trying to remember Nippy’s old username. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm used to forums, so just enjoyed reading and posting occasionally. Some thought me a lurker when I wasn't

I've been here a year now and am probably about recognised now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The forums was great tbh. The cams scared the shit out of me though.

I do remember my first thread

What was it about?

Fucking a watermelon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The forums was great tbh. The cams scared the shit out of me though.

I do remember my first thread

What was it about?

Fucking a watermelon

Haha couldn't have been. But it wasn't about that

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By *xmfrvnMan over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"I was ignored for the first few months, nobody would ever respond to me really but I didn't think it was unwelcoming or full of terrible people. I guess in a way it's similar to when you start a new job and you don't know anybody so people don't chat to you too much.

I didn't post too much at the beginning. But, I found the more i gave the more I got from the forums. And now I feel very at home.

This is surprising, I'd expect women to get hounded & horned all over.

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

"The forums was great tbh. The cams scared the shit out of me though.

I do remember my first thread

What was it about?

Fucking a watermelon

Haha couldn't have been. But it wasn't about that"

I reckon it was

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By *erdyWoman over a year ago

wiltshire

"When I dipped my toe into the forums three years ago there were a few people (both sexes) who didn't seem to take kindly to new interlopers...which amused me.

That's why I try to be welcoming to newbies now.

"
still the same

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By *rivateparts!Man over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I used to be happy and optimistic, but now I say it how it is

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

I remember my first thread being a bit of a flop and at the beginning I found it difficult to post because people weren't that welcoming and there were so many in jokes and politics to navigate.

After a bit I just posted what I wanted, when I wanted to. Spoke to different people, some I clicked with, others less so and found my feet in this weird place.

I think that's why now I try and engage with different people and I'm genuinely curious - there's such an interesting, eclectic mix on here and I like reading differing opinions.

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By *oneyBear100Couple over a year ago

Gatwick area

We'd love to use the forums more but they can be just damn hard work if not a regular poster/female.

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By *erdyWoman over a year ago

wiltshire

"It was like jumping into a bear pit.

When I see the odd thread these days bemoaned people being narky and unwelcoming I have to laugh... it was absolutely brutal when I first joined in

This.

My first thread I asked a question that had been asked before. I was ripped to shreds.

'Friendly forum' my arse. "

sounds about right

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By *erdyWoman over a year ago

wiltshire

I pop on and off occasionally . Can't say I am here to make friends - just read threads and occasionally add my thoughts.

Definitely a clique mentality and not inclusive.

A lot have gang mentality also. In all not a particularly nice place.

But like I said I didn't join fab to make friends on forums.

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By *erdyWoman over a year ago

wiltshire

"First impressions of the forum:

- On the technical level, it's rudimentary at best.

- It's *very* cliquey, and if your face doesn't fit, you're going to struggle.

- The user base here is significantly more right-wing and conspiracy-minded than any other environment I've previously ventured into.

- It's a timekiller more than a serious tool for meeting people."
This is true; only pop on if have time to kill or bored!

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By *ntrigued32Couple over a year ago

Nottingham

"I'm used to forums, so just enjoyed reading and posting occasionally. Some thought me a lurker when I wasn't

I've been here a year now and am probably about recognised now

Jo.Xx

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

I can't remember when I started using the forum, but I think I'm pretty much finished with it now...it's really only the boredom of working from home and habit keeping me here at the minute.

It has been fun at times, and I have met some dear friends that I likely wouldn't have crossed paths with had I not been on the forum. But it has also brought negativity, and I simply don't have the inclination to allow that in my life.

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By *oxyvixen99Woman over a year ago

Newtownabbey

I've read the forums for years. At the start I rarely looked at the lounge and stuck mostly to the Ireland one but there are such a small number of contributions there it got very repetitive and the same old arguments grew tiring.

Over the last year or so I have commented posted etc more on here. I have got chatting to some truly lovely people and I don't notice cliques as I think it's more a case of long standing developed friendships.

I prefer here as there are so many different types of users opinions and threads. I guess due to a lot of people being stuck in over the last while it has got a bit samey but it's still a good mix of lighthearted fun with more serious topics.

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I joined the forums just under a year ago, I found them after a couple of months of playing and wanted to see what else fab offered. So I pressed the button and started throwing my weird around and genghis was the one of the ones who I identified with so I stayed, some people get me some don't my journey has been pretty stable. The friendship groups evolve pretty rapidly on here, I do wonder If that will change when we all start actually having sex with each other again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the forum is to me then as is now a very tiny part of the scene

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Someone shy asked me to post this for them:

"My first encounter with the forum was via fabguys. I suddenly noticed it said '(New) Forum' on the main page and took a look. I then thought I wonder if there's one on Fabswingers. And I found them.

Even though my profile has been here for 10 months I haven't - it's just been languishing.

Finding the forum has changed that as it is somewhere I can write (writing being my natural habitat).

I probably just jumped in straight away but can't remember if it was just a comment or a thread. I then just get ideas for a thread and throw them up. If they get replies even better.

I probably feel as though I am starting to be noticed - getting some replies to my comments - but do feel I am invisible sometimes as well. But I will keep going.

I really enjoy the forums and like them for the majority age range which uses them (30/35+) and that I can recognise myself in quite a few people who post. In a way we are all weirdos

Cheeky fucker, I'm much older than the cool gang then!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"the forum is to me then as is now a very tiny part of the scene"

What you mean that fuck pint pass isn't what the scene is about ?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I pop into the forums almost every day, but don't always post. I wouldn't say I feel unwelcome but I wouldn't say I've been welcomed either, just an insignificant part of it all.

Maybe it's a bit like real life, I hang around the periphery not pushing myself forward but hoping to be brought into the fold."

Get involved fella, always welcome on my threads

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My first post was just to say hello, something along the lines of ‘New TV /CD saying hi’.

I was then attacked (debated ???) by others saying I can’t be both. I found the block button soon after I put my thoughts across.

Didn’t put me off

But you're overcame that and in doing so proved what actually matters

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By *uenevereWoman over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Hubby found the forums and told me. Have been using them almost as long as we have been on here, so 7 years or so.

Can't remember what my initial impressions were.. probably

I rarely start threads preferring to pop in and out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It was like jumping into a bear pit.

When I see the odd thread these days bemoaned people being narky and unwelcoming I have to laugh... it was absolutely brutal when I first joined in

This.

My first thread I asked a question that had been asked before. I was ripped to shreds.

'Friendly forum' my arse. "

I find some ppl like that but if you smile back and throw a polite reply their way it's difficult for them to argue, innit....

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By *ugRollersCouple over a year ago

Newcastle

I enjoy the forums. The only trouble is I can’t remember what I’ve posted in or I lose where I’ve posted and then I can’t be bothered to find it too many reply’s to the original post and I get bored.

i wish it had a bit of a better structure to it but maybe I just haven’t used it enough x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I got my first meet from the forum thinking back, someone PMing after what I said on a thread.

In fact I think most of my meets come from the forums! But I don't tend to spam out how's u messages to randoms in their inboxes. "

Haha, most of mine do these days but it can be a small pond at times and everyone thinks they know your business. I changed my profile recently and immediately I was getting questions asking if was I seeing someone. Nope just fed up with the attention, but just mind your own and I'll tell you what I want to thanks.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well.

And now?

Now I'm better at hiding it. At least online.

Plus I've come to realise that I've actually got a voice, and i like to try and use it to make people smile and feel good about themselves. That is what makes me smile. So win win on that.

And there are some people who for whatever reason, I'm not going to be able to make smile. And that's OK too. "

But you make the important ones smile....

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

"I enjoy the forums. The only trouble is I can’t remember what I’ve posted in or I lose where I’ve posted and then I can’t be bothered to find it too many reply’s to the original post and I get bored.

i wish it had a bit of a better structure to it but maybe I just haven’t used it enough x "

I find this too. I think there should be a notification function where you can see if someone has commented on your post or replied to your comment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I was here over a year before I even looked at it

was scary at first

now I’m just part of the furniture

Can I sit on your knee?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I like to chat with like minded people about general stuff. We may all be kinky(ish) but on other subjects opinions will vary and differ. It nice to be able to read and contribute to some of the discussions."

Aye, it's is, and welcome fella....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"First impressions of the forum:

- On the technical level, it's rudimentary at best.

- It's *very* cliquey, and if your face doesn't fit, you're going to struggle.

- The user base here is significantly more right-wing and conspiracy-minded than any other environment I've previously ventured into.

- It's a timekiller more than a serious tool for meeting people."

I think you're seeing what you want to, it's a simple cross section of society. It's a fantastic opportunity to talk to the ppl you wouldn't normally engage with and learn something you didn't know....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don’t get the chicken thing tho

I ducked under chicken when I was avoiding cake..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I was on site for quite a wee while before I checked out foruma. Then was a week or so before I dived in feet first. I remember my first thread doing quite well, was country bumpkin or city slicker I think. I've always felt welcomed, don't always get replies or responses, but all is good, doesn't make me feel bad or anything. "

I like you!

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well.

And now?

Now I'm better at hiding it. At least online.

Plus I've come to realise that I've actually got a voice, and i like to try and use it to make people smile and feel good about themselves. That is what makes me smile. So win win on that.

And there are some people who for whatever reason, I'm not going to be able to make smile. And that's OK too.

But you make the important ones smile....

You'd best be including yourself in that there important ones Mr.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Took a while to figure out the different areas, I'm not shy and I'm known for jumping in feet first, so just got stuck in!

Just learn to ignore and gloss over the negative and embrace and enjoy the weird and wonderfulness!

The only thing I can't stand is lies. Use your own pictures, google image search is a wonderful tool, just be yourself!

Yes there's more regulars on here atm, all depends on people's free time. Lots of people are furloughed or working from home still, so the forums are a great boredom buster!

Personally find it a great space to figure out who's on your wavelength. Some people I would previously passed by or never seen, are now on our hotlist and friends list!

Well I'm very glad you bumped into me and sent vag...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m just dipping my toes.. again for what seems like the millionth time... I can never stick at the forum stuff...

I find the forums cliquey and it sorta blows my mind that the majority of posts are made by the same group of posters and most of them don’t consider themselves swingers.

This is a weird place... but it’s fun for short periods."

I think it's cool that ppl don't have to conform though and can just say what's on their mind. I'm a shit swinger.....!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Scary as hell, didn't understand what was going on a lot of threads. They may as well have spoken a different language. But then a forumite started chatting to me and I became more confident.

My first thread bombed but hasn't stopped me

Forumites can be proper friendly like that....

Do you remember the thread?

Yep it was on liking pictures of people wearing normal clothes as well as being all dolled up. "

I can't remember it?

You've come a long way though, I love how calm you can be when everyone else is losing their shit....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I’m honest I was intimidated at first, watched and read stuff for a while before joining in. Now I love it.

Especially my threads, right...?

I wouldn’t say you were especially intimidating. You came across as one of the more playful and easier to get on with ones. "

That's coz I am....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"That I wanted to have sex with quite a few forum people and so I did

I can but dream, one day.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I lurked for a long time and gradually added the odd comment, it was intimidating at first but found most people welcoming, still yet to start my own thread as it’s hard to keep up sometimes with others.

If it wasn’t for the forums I doubt I would of stayed on here or met and chatted with some really lovely people."

Oh please do a thread Wildy, everyone would love it I'm sure.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shocked by how much spare time some people have

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Probably a bit cliquey, but I plough on regardless and just post waffle anyway.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day

Keep on trucking fella

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"First time I ever joined fab I was d*unk and had about thirty messages before I’d finished filling my profile out. I shit you not most of them was guys over 60 In my d*unk State I thought I’d joined on oap night. Freaked and deleted account. Now I love all the older guys they proper make me smile

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Scary as hell, didn't understand what was going on a lot of threads. They may as well have spoken a different language. But then a forumite started chatting to me and I became more confident.

My first thread bombed but hasn't stopped me

Forumites can be proper friendly like that....

Do you remember the thread?

Yep it was on liking pictures of people wearing normal clothes as well as being all dolled up.

I can't remember it?

You've come a long way though, I love how calm you can be when everyone else is losing their shit....

That's because it was before anyone noticed me

Just don't see the need for conflict, peace and love and all that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I found the forums last year and now I lurk every day.I've never tried to be welcomed, so can't really have an opinion on that.

My first and only thread I started didn't do too bad.I just like reading the entertaining threads and i'll occasionally comment

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The forums was great tbh. The cams scared the shit out of me though. "

Cam chatrooms - I was like can you please stop wanking now and just say hi, plus there was the deaf lady on cam.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The forums was great tbh. The cams scared the shit out of me though.

I do remember my first thread "

Tell me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've been on the forums since a few weeks before lock down started and I still struggle a bit with the forums sometimes.

I know that the more I join in, the easier it'll become but that is easier said than done for an introvert

It does take time but it will get easier as you get to know people. Welcome btw!

She's lovely^

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Plenty of cake

I still don't get the cake thing tbh, I never asked, but in a way I'm kinda glad of that innocence.....

Ladies love a cake

I’m a chef

We do cake

Why?

Coz we do

I like vag

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I was a little lost when I first joined the forums. I observed and chucked in a bit of me where ever I felt I was needed

Forum fabbers have always been so welcoming and I’ve never felt unwelcome here

My vag is still missing btw "

Will I eventually get the pleasure.....?

Like damp, yeah?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nippy...you were one of the first people I spoke to, back in the days of xperia, and it caused dramas

Not a great first experience "

Hahahaha, he was a total tit. I'm sorry about the drama....

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By *2000ManMan over a year ago

Worthing

Lots of different topics...a good place to be for a chat!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Plenty of cake

It's spelled C-L-I-Q-U-E

Seriously though, as has been said before, what is seen as cliques is just established members who have built a rapport. "

I think there's plenty of new groups developing too tbh, I think it's a good thing....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Been on here about 18 months , it’s 99% me as Dave hardly ever comes on the forums , it took a long time to work out the dynamics and feel like people we’re interested in anything I had to say and sometimes I get weeks where I think nobody is interested BUT if you keep yourself chilled and take it for what it is keep out of any drama then it’s a great place! I’ve made some amazing friends, met some very sexy people and also had a lot of support if needed

You're right about avoiding the drama, I kinda fucked up initially and it's a long walk back to make it up.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A couple friend of mine in other site asked me to join fabs and so happy i joined

We're happy to have you too....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I didn't post too much at the beginning. But, I found the more i gave the more I got from the forums. And now I feel very at home.

That's very true about giving!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Generally friendly and certainly entertaining....

Just takes a while to get up the confident to go for it and post!

Particularly enjoy watching the more contentious threads but for now resisting diving in to those!"

Do it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I thought I won’t be going in there again. 3 years down the line I say the same thing every time I log out

But it hooks you back in!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nippy...you were one of the first people I spoke to, back in the days of xperia, and it caused dramas

Not a great first experience

I was wracking my brain trying to remember Nippy’s old username. Thank you

Shhhhhhh.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm used to forums, so just enjoyed reading and posting occasionally. Some thought me a lurker when I wasn't

I've been here a year now and am probably about recognised now

You WERE q bloody lurker! Definition of a lurker = someone who sees something out on the pitch and then PM's about it.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I used to be happy and optimistic, but now I say it how it is

Tell me about the cake?

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

i wish it had a bit of a better structure to it but maybe I just haven’t used it enough x

I find this too. I think there should be a notification function where you can see if someone has commented on your post or replied to your comment.

Use the green arrow or search ‘threads I posted in’

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I remember my first thread being a bit of a flop and at the beginning I found it difficult to post because people weren't that welcoming and there were so many in jokes and politics to navigate.

After a bit I just posted what I wanted, when I wanted to. Spoke to different people, some I clicked with, others less so and found my feet in this weird place.

I think that's why now I try and engage with different people and I'm genuinely curious - there's such an interesting, eclectic mix on here and I like reading differing opinions."

I live the mix, even the ones I don't really like, if that makes sense, they all make it balanced and safe....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thought it was a sad waste of time. Now it's all I do

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We'd love to use the forums more but they can be just damn hard work if not a regular poster/female."

The more you post the easier it is, you're always welcome on mine and you'll always get a reply if I'm able....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I pop on and off occasionally . Can't say I am here to make friends - just read threads and occasionally add my thoughts.

Definitely a clique mentality and not inclusive.

A lot have gang mentality also. In all not a particularly nice place.

But like I said I didn't join fab to make friends on forums. "

Have your actually managed to make any friends from the forum despite this though?

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"...what did you make of the place the first time you popped in....?

Tell me your shiz plz?

I'm good for vag now unless you feel I really deserve it, thanks....

Have a wonderful Monday everyone

Much love

Nip x

Not really convinced I want to be here. Came here as there is a rumour going round that it is supposed to help single guys make friends and I guess build a level of credibility to build relationships that eventually lead to meeting people (when allowed).

Not felt especially welcomed but I guess first thread was probably virus related so perhaps not the best choice as it seems a bit like a bar fight in there. I'll stick it out for a few more weeks as I do like the nostalgia and music threads and the ones that discuss intelligently...and I'm hoping to connect with one or two profiles to eventually meet.

Good question though Nip

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i wish it had a bit of a better structure to it but maybe I just haven’t used it enough x

I find this too. I think there should be a notification function where you can see if someone has commented on your post or replied to your comment.

Use the green arrow or search ‘threads I posted in’

Yep I use that plus then using the page search option on my browser to find posts.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

" I live the mix, even the ones I don't really like, if that makes sense, they all make it balanced and safe....

"
Yes it does make a lot of sense. I've found over time that my first impressions are just that and one post is a snapshot of a person in a particular moment of time, not a full reflection of who they are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can't remember when I started using the forum, but I think I'm pretty much finished with it now...it's really only the boredom of working from home and habit keeping me here at the minute.

Isn't there a way to filter out some of the negativity, or maybe focus on the good?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've read the forums for years. At the start I rarely looked at the lounge and stuck mostly to the Ireland one but there are such a small number of contributions there it got very repetitive and the same old arguments grew tiring.

I agree, I think a persons perception depends on what they're looking to find and how happy they are before they arrive also.... ....I usually try to give a little happiness rather than expecting to take some away and in that approach I'm usually surprised....

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By *ouanna JoWoman over a year ago

A little village

i wish it had a bit of a better structure to it but maybe I just haven’t used it enough x

I find this too. I think there should be a notification function where you can see if someone has commented on your post or replied to your comment.

Use the green arrow or search ‘threads I posted in’

Oh yeah I do this. But I mean just an easier lazier way of seeing it instead of scrolling back up and reading the comments, if that makes sense. I’m being lazy. Ignore me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I joined the forums just under a year ago, I found them after a couple of months of playing and wanted to see what else fab offered. So I pressed the button and started throwing my weird around and genghis was the one of the ones who I identified with so I stayed, some people get me some don't my journey has been pretty stable. The friendship groups evolve pretty rapidly on here, I do wonder If that will change when we all start actually having sex with each other again"

I have some old and stable friends here and I find they're they ones who help the most when times are tough rather than the newer evolving ones, but then the new ones might become the old ones given a chance....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i wish it had a bit of a better structure to it but maybe I just haven’t used it enough x

I find this too. I think there should be a notification function where you can see if someone has commented on your post or replied to your comment.

Use the green arrow or search ‘threads I posted in’

Oh yeah I do this. But I mean just an easier lazier way of seeing it instead of scrolling back up and reading the comments, if that makes sense. I’m being lazy. Ignore me.

I agree, tagging would really help

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"the forum is to me then as is now a very tiny part of the scene"

Yes, but that wasn't the question....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hubby found the forums and told me. Have been using them almost as long as we have been on here, so 7 years or so.

Can't remember what my initial impressions were.. probably

I rarely start threads preferring to pop in and out."

Why not try a thread and see? I think we need new voices and ideas....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nippy...you were one of the first people I spoke to, back in the days of xperia, and it caused dramas

Not a great first experience

I was wracking my brain trying to remember Nippy’s old username. Thank you

Shhhhhhh.....

My lips are sealed

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i wish it had a bit of a better structure to it but maybe I just haven’t used it enough x "

They have a recent thread's you've posted to button, someone else may have mentioned this by now, I'm catching up....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Took 18 months of the odd post here and there and being ignored, leaving and returning for me to decide to hell with it and just jump in.

I found it as terrifying as being the new kid at school or walking into a social gathering on my own, because I'm painfully shy and scared of rejection. I just hide it well.

And now?

Now I'm better at hiding it. At least online.

Plus I've come to realise that I've actually got a voice, and i like to try and use it to make people smile and feel good about themselves. That is what makes me smile. So win win on that.

And there are some people who for whatever reason, I'm not going to be able to make smile. And that's OK too.

But you make the important ones smile....

You'd best be including yourself in that there important ones Mr.

Obviously!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Scary as hell, didn't understand what was going on a lot of threads. They may as well have spoken a different language. But then a forumite started chatting to me and I became more confident.

My first thread bombed but hasn't stopped me

Forumites can be proper friendly like that....

Do you remember the thread?

Yep it was on liking pictures of people wearing normal clothes as well as being all dolled up.

I can't remember it?

You've come a long way though, I love how calm you can be when everyone else is losing their shit....

That's because it was before anyone noticed me

Just don't see the need for conflict, peace and love and all that

Haha, there's always a time to fight I reckon, just occasionally....

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By *uenevereWoman over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Hubby found the forums and told me. Have been using them almost as long as we have been on here, so 7 years or so.

Can't remember what my initial impressions were.. probably

I rarely start threads preferring to pop in and out.

Why not try a thread and see? I think we need new voices and ideas....

I have occasionally, but you really need to keep up with any thread you start.

Quite honestly, I would probably get fed up of responding

It's generally more fun to read the threads and post every so often.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I found the forums last year and now I lurk every day.I've never tried to be welcomed, so can't really have an opinion on that.

My first and only thread I started didn't do too bad.I just like reading the entertaining threads and i'll occasionally comment"

Come out of the shadows more often, ppl will enjoy your input....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Lots of different topics...a good place to be for a chat!"

Innit!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I found the forums last year and now I lurk every day.I've never tried to be welcomed, so can't really have an opinion on that.

My first and only thread I started didn't do too bad.I just like reading the entertaining threads and i'll occasionally comment

Come out of the shadows more often, ppl will enjoy your input....

No thankyou

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i wish it had a bit of a better structure to it but maybe I just haven’t used it enough x

I find this too. I think there should be a notification function where you can see if someone has commented on your post or replied to your comment.

Use the green arrow or search ‘threads I posted in’

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thought it was a sad waste of time. Now it's all I do

Hahaha, I think your threads actually bring a lot of folk together buddy and make them feel good in the process, well done Oreo!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"...what did you make of the place the first time you popped in....?

Tell me your shiz plz?

I'm good for vag now unless you feel I really deserve it, thanks....

Have a wonderful Monday everyone

Much love

Nip x

Good question though Nip"

Keep at it fell and watch others too and learn!

(don't watch me obvs, I'm a carcrash most days

)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" I live the mix, even the ones I don't really like, if that makes sense, they all make it balanced and safe....

Yes it does make a lot of sense. I've found over time that my first impressions are just that and one post is a snapshot of a person in a particular moment of time, not a full reflection of who they are. "

Yep, I post in here when I'm a total arsehole and also when I'm at peace and feeling all lovely....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Heck its many many years and several years ago I first peeked in.

Despite comments its really not that different, you just see different faces and profiles more active.

At first I felt on the fringes, not listened to, but slowly you realise not every reads every comment and its fast paced. I realised if I took heart to comments it was only me who would experience just that.

Eventually someone comments or replies direct and you feel valued.

You'd be surprised how many people read others comments, sometimes with profound effect? Everyone is valid if they participate I think...even if not particularly on their wavelength.

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

"I can't remember when I started using the forum, but I think I'm pretty much finished with it now...it's really only the boredom of working from home and habit keeping me here at the minute.

Isn't there a way to filter out some of the negativity, or maybe focus on the good?

To be brutally honest, there's not currently that much on here that interests me enough to bother. I'm bored of the "kiss, fuck, avoid" type threads, and it gets tedious being told you're being nasty or having people bitch about you behind the scenes because you disagreed with the popular opinion on one of the rare serious or thought provoking threads

I'd rather just focus on the good things I have going on away from here for the time being

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

Though I joined the site about 10-11 years ago, I didn't get involved with the Forums for the first couple of years.

I find the Forums exist in stages. If you go online needing help, needing that shoulder to lean on or seek cheering up, it's there and often in spades.

It can be hilarious and often I've laughed till I have cried at the superb humour from different contributors.

It's often inspirational and knowledgable and one can learn a lot too.

But sometimes, it can be argumentative, with verbal blows being exchanged or some posters get really uptight and only want things their way, or it only being their views as the most important. There are times, as I have learnt to back off, as you know it's going to end in tears!

But importantly, it is often very Cliquey. Many will say it isn't, but those do can sometimes be the ones, unaware or realising they're creating it. They cut off others outside of their "Inner Circle" or if you try to interact or actually message, you're ignored completely!

That action, deliberate or otherwise, can be disheartening.

That's the darker side of the Forums, but that style exists in a lot of other Forums in other sites relating to far different subjects.

These days, I tend to dip in as and when I want to. It's often safer that way!

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