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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Banter can used to hide being a knob to others and isn't banter if the other person isn't engaged with it.
'Alright mate, it's only banter' is often used to excuse bullying
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely. Everything can get lost in text, leading to awkwardness. I have quite a dry sense of humour and can be quite sarcastic, and often this is mistaken. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love banter but sometimes I’m not very good at taking a joke    "
Did you hear the one about the most beautiful woman on fab ?
(Never done a rainbow before) |
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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago
Doire Theas |
"I love banter but sometimes I’m not very good at taking a joke
Did you hear the one about the most beautiful woman on fab ?
(Never done a rainbow before)"
Yeah she did not have a bum hole pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've often been taken the wrong way, on here, or even in real life. My sense of humour can be quite dark, but never comes from a place of disrespect or nastiness. |
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"Can it be lost in text and do people take it personally ?
I hope not because I never intend to offend, just to clear that up.
Peace and Love  "
If you don't intend to offend font say offensive things.... Simple really  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love banter but sometimes I’m not very good at taking a joke
Did you hear the one about the most beautiful woman on fab ?
(Never done a rainbow before)
Yeah she did not have a bum hole pic "
At least you can enjoy lunch without throwing up |
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Banter means something quite different now to what it used to. I've seen quite cruel and vicious bullying passed off as "banter". Leaving the victim feeling stupid as well as bullied.
The definition of banter is "the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks"
If its not friendly, playful and there's no exchange, it ain't banter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Banter means something quite different now to what it used to. I've seen quite cruel and vicious bullying passed off as "banter". Leaving the victim feeling stupid as well as bullied.
The definition of banter is "the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks"
If its not friendly, playful and there's no exchange, it ain't banter. "
Banter is best left out of the forums in my experience. When it comes as the printed word between 2 members , it often falls foul of forum rules, even when the 2 or 3 people involved are really good friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Banter doesn't really work in the written word. As people say "you really needed to be there"."
I disagree, if your friends with someone and the banter is flowing back and forth then it's clearly banter between the 2. Problem arises when other people not involved in the banter, take passive offence and then report one or both persons, and that's where it is seen to fall foul of the rules. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It only depends if they get you and are on the same wavelength then is great stuff "
I think most are on a similar wavelength, thats why we are here ?
I see what you mean there  |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
Often I am deliberately stubborn and obtuse with my humour and deliver the words in a dry manner even though there is a big risk of miscommunication. To me it acts as a filter. If you don't understand it then we won't be on the same wavelength.
An example of that is me refusing to change my profile. I'll just remain an anomaly. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Often I am deliberately stubborn and obtuse with my humour and deliver the words in a dry manner even though there is a big risk of miscommunication. To me it acts as a filter. If you don't understand it then we won't be on the same wavelength.
An example of that is me refusing to change my profile. I'll just remain an anomaly. "
The problem is when people know you well , they see other sides of you , whereas on here you might just come across as a dick. It’s a tough call stay authentic or tone it down to fit in and be nice and fluffy..... no it’s not a tough call is it  |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"Often I am deliberately stubborn and obtuse with my humour and deliver the words in a dry manner even though there is a big risk of miscommunication. To me it acts as a filter. If you don't understand it then we won't be on the same wavelength.
An example of that is me refusing to change my profile. I'll just remain an anomaly.
The problem is when people know you well , they see other sides of you , whereas on here you might just come across as a dick. It’s a tough call stay authentic or tone it down to fit in and be nice and fluffy..... no it’s not a tough call is it "
I just don't think I am good at soft skills, diplomacy etc. It doesn't feel natural to me, makes me feel more like a douche. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend"
Sorry you feel this way, there is a funny side to most things in life. As the OP says, I never intend to.
I guess thats when you need to know the person you are communicating to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend
Sorry you feel this way, there is a funny side to most things in life. As the OP says, I never intend to.
I guess thats when you need to know the person you are communicating to. "
Ah, I meant ‘you’ as in everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can it be lost in text and do people take it personally ?
I hope not because I never intend to offend, just to clear that up.
Peace and Love "
Yep, wouldn't worry about it too much to be honest. People either get you or they don't and as long as you've not intentionally set out to offend and previously got on with the person then I'm happy to overlook a cheeky message.
I've been told to watch my tongue by someone who I'd spoke to for quite a while on and off. Blocked them and moved on, no point in wasting time when you're not on the same wave length. |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend
Sorry you feel this way, there is a funny side to most things in life. As the OP says, I never intend to.
I guess thats when you need to know the person you are communicating to.
Ah, I meant ‘you’ as in everyone "
This is so meta. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend
Sorry you feel this way, there is a funny side to most things in life. As the OP says, I never intend to.
I guess thats when you need to know the person you are communicating to.
Ah, I meant ‘you’ as in everyone "
oh, I get your banter there |
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"Banter means something quite different now to what it used to. I've seen quite cruel and vicious bullying passed off as "banter". Leaving the victim feeling stupid as well as bullied.
The definition of banter is "the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks"
If its not friendly, playful and there's no exchange, it ain't banter. "
Agreed.
It's often Schrödinger's arsehole stuff. If you receive this stuff and you're offended, then "why are you sensitive can't you take a joke? Geez".
I err on the side of caution with it. |
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