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By *acey_Red OP Woman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
I'm writting this as I keep seeing people on here who seek this but neither have a name for it nor consider it a valid desire to have.
Having strong connections with multiple people while maintaining a single lifestyle is a totally legitimate lifestyle choice. Be open and honest about it and it is totally possible to do so ethically and in a way that everyone involved is happy with. The relationship escalator is not for everyone and stepping off it doesn't mean you have to step away from love and connection. Go forth and be pervy you lovely folk.
Free love and peace to all. |
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By *acey_Red OP Woman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"I don't know, free love and peace seems like a lot of hard work. Could I not just be outraged by it all instead? "
You go for it gorgeous, rage against the love. We're protected by blanket forts. |
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By *acey_Red OP Woman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Interested in thoughts / tips on how to achieve compersion... "
Probably not the advice most want but practice and compassion. Repeatedly remind yourself that people aren't possetions and metamours are not competition. Remind yourself of how each person you love is unique and wonderful in their own way and apply that to yourself. Multiple people loving and wanting the best for the same person is a wonderful thing. You're on the same side. I broke the ice with my meta by sending chocolate with my partner when she was on her period  . We've been good friends and partners in crime in jointly winding him up ever since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interested in thoughts / tips on how to achieve compersion...
Probably not the advice most want but practice and compassion. Repeatedly remind yourself that people aren't possetions and metamours are not competition. Remind yourself of how each person you love is unique and wonderful in their own way and apply that to yourself. Multiple people loving and wanting the best for the same person is a wonderful thing. You're on the same side. I broke the ice with my meta by sending chocolate with my partner when she was on her period . We've been good friends and partners in crime in jointly winding him up ever since. "
Oh i like that 
I'm trying to allow my rational thoughts to control me, instead of emotion.. I think that will help me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm writting this as I keep seeing people on here who seek this but neither have a name for it nor consider it a valid desire to have.
Having strong connections with multiple people while maintaining a single lifestyle is a totally legitimate lifestyle choice. Be open and honest about it and it is totally possible to do so ethically and in a way that everyone involved is happy with. The relationship escalator is not for everyone and stepping off it doesn't mean you have to step away from love and connection. Go forth and be pervy you lovely folk.
Free love and peace to all. "
You have a brilliant way with words Lacy and this is perfect |
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By *acey_Red OP Woman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Interested in thoughts / tips on how to achieve compersion...
Probably not the advice most want but practice and compassion. Repeatedly remind yourself that people aren't possetions and metamours are not competition. Remind yourself of how each person you love is unique and wonderful in their own way and apply that to yourself. Multiple people loving and wanting the best for the same person is a wonderful thing. You're on the same side. I broke the ice with my meta by sending chocolate with my partner when she was on her period . We've been good friends and partners in crime in jointly winding him up ever since.
Oh i like that
I'm trying to allow my rational thoughts to control me, instead of emotion.. I think that will help me"
It takes time . We have a lot of "monogamy is the only way" brainwashing. Very few of us are immune to some jealousy or insecurity. It's how you handle it that counts. Try not to assign blame for your feelings. However owning them doesn't mean you can't ask for help with managing them. |
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By *acey_Red OP Woman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"I'm writting this as I keep seeing people on here who seek this but neither have a name for it nor consider it a valid desire to have.
Having strong connections with multiple people while maintaining a single lifestyle is a totally legitimate lifestyle choice. Be open and honest about it and it is totally possible to do so ethically and in a way that everyone involved is happy with. The relationship escalator is not for everyone and stepping off it doesn't mean you have to step away from love and connection. Go forth and be pervy you lovely folk.
Free love and peace to all.
You have a brilliant way with words Lacy and this is perfect "
Awww thanks  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Interested in thoughts / tips on how to achieve compersion...
Probably not the advice most want but practice and compassion. Repeatedly remind yourself that people aren't possetions and metamours are not competition. Remind yourself of how each person you love is unique and wonderful in their own way and apply that to yourself. Multiple people loving and wanting the best for the same person is a wonderful thing. You're on the same side. I broke the ice with my meta by sending chocolate with my partner when she was on her period . We've been good friends and partners in crime in jointly winding him up ever since.
Oh i like that
I'm trying to allow my rational thoughts to control me, instead of emotion.. I think that will help me
It takes time . We have a lot of "monogamy is the only way" brainwashing. Very few of us are immune to some jealousy or insecurity. It's how you handle it that counts. Try not to assign blame for your feelings. However owning them doesn't mean you can't ask for help with managing them. "
This is so true. Jealousy isn't necessarily a bad emotion, think of it as a way of your psyche saying that you're not happy with something and then look at what that is, really is. As an example - I'm jealous x is spending time with y. Is it really that or are you feeling like you want to spend more time with them? Are you worried they are going off you? Working out what triggers those feelings helps a lot.
I think open communication helps a lot as well, sometimes voicing your doubts or worries help you realise how absurd/unfounded they are. On the same hand, reminding yourself that you actually want the best for them helps a lot - you're proud of them when they do well at work? So try and remember to view it in a similar way.
It's not always easy and if you do feel a bit meh - that's allowed. You're not an awful person for not instantly feeling compersion blossoming out of your every pore. |
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By *acey_Red OP Woman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Interested in thoughts / tips on how to achieve compersion...
Probably not the advice most want but practice and compassion. Repeatedly remind yourself that people aren't possetions and metamours are not competition. Remind yourself of how each person you love is unique and wonderful in their own way and apply that to yourself. Multiple people loving and wanting the best for the same person is a wonderful thing. You're on the same side. I broke the ice with my meta by sending chocolate with my partner when she was on her period . We've been good friends and partners in crime in jointly winding him up ever since.
Oh i like that
I'm trying to allow my rational thoughts to control me, instead of emotion.. I think that will help me
It takes time . We have a lot of "monogamy is the only way" brainwashing. Very few of us are immune to some jealousy or insecurity. It's how you handle it that counts. Try not to assign blame for your feelings. However owning them doesn't mean you can't ask for help with managing them.
This is so true. Jealousy isn't necessarily a bad emotion, think of it as a way of your psyche saying that you're not happy with something and then look at what that is, really is. As an example - I'm jealous x is spending time with y. Is it really that or are you feeling like you want to spend more time with them? Are you worried they are going off you? Working out what triggers those feelings helps a lot.
I think open communication helps a lot as well, sometimes voicing your doubts or worries help you realise how absurd/unfounded they are. On the same hand, reminding yourself that you actually want the best for them helps a lot - you're proud of them when they do well at work? So try and remember to view it in a similar way.
It's not always easy and if you do feel a bit meh - that's allowed. You're not an awful person for not instantly feeling compersion blossoming out of your every pore. "
Perfectly said! |
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