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A pain like no other ...

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village

My sister recently lost her cat, she was sadly run over. She’s blaming herself for letting her go out, and she’s just so devastated. It’s heartbreaking. I know myself the pain of losing a fur baby, and it’s the worst.

Have you been through this? What helped that others did or said? I’m struggling with helping her to feel better. I know grief and loss is a process she needs to ride out, but any nuggets of advice based on what helped or didn’t help others, would be helpful to me right now.

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Aww that's so sad

Time...time is the only thing that helps. If your friend is anything like me she will have a fur baby shaped hole in her heart forever but she will one day remember her kitty with a smile rather than sadness

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I bought my friend a plant to remember the pet dog they lost

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"I bought my friend a plant to remember the pet dog they lost "

That’s lovely. I’ve ordered her a little photo frame with paw prints on and sent her a card. I’m struggling with what else to do other than repeatedly tell her it’s not her fault. She’s crying constantly at the moment. My heart’s breaking for her.

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"Aww that's so sad

Time...time is the only thing that helps. If your friend is anything like me she will have a fur baby shaped hole in her heart forever but she will one day remember her kitty with a smile rather than sadness "

Yes.. time is the only thing that healed my pain when I lost my own fur baby. It’s not what you want to hear at the time, but it’s so true.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nothing really helps, but it does get easier. We're currently nursing an elderly cat and constantly wondering if everything he has wrong with him will lead to his departure. It won't be the first pet we've lost but it hurts everytime. She'll get over it. Over time. It's part of life.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aww that's so sad

Time...time is the only thing that helps. If your friend is anything like me she will have a fur baby shaped hole in her heart forever but she will one day remember her kitty with a smile rather than sadness

Yes.. time is the only thing that healed my pain when I lost my own fur baby. It’s not what you want to hear at the time, but it’s so true. "

Just continue to be there for her...its all you really can do. You're clearly a good friend to her, knowing you care and are there will help

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Quote a few times unfortunately cats and then hamsters, we planted tulip bulbs over where we buried animals and just remember the happy times.

There’s no short cuts to grief but definitely support and letting her mourn is important , too often we try to get it together but it’s normal and healthy to mourn first

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"Nothing really helps, but it does get easier. We're currently nursing an elderly cat and constantly wondering if everything he has wrong with him will lead to his departure. It won't be the first pet we've lost but it hurts everytime. She'll get over it. Over time. It's part of life. "

it’s truly awful isn’t it. I keep telling her the raw pain she’s in will subside to sadness, and it won’t always be this painful. She’s struggling to see that right now and hasn’t been through it before.

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"Quote a few times unfortunately cats and then hamsters, we planted tulip bulbs over where we buried animals and just remember the happy times.

There’s no short cuts to grief but definitely support and letting her mourn is important , too often we try to get it together but it’s normal and healthy to mourn first "

I like the idea of planting a flower. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Nothing really helps, but it does get easier. We're currently nursing an elderly cat and constantly wondering if everything he has wrong with him will lead to his departure. It won't be the first pet we've lost but it hurts everytime. She'll get over it. Over time. It's part of life.

it’s truly awful isn’t it. I keep telling her the raw pain she’s in will subside to sadness, and it won’t always be this painful. She’s struggling to see that right now and hasn’t been through it before. "

Awww yeah the first time is really hard... and we only had our first loss for a few months. It was still awful!! All you can do is be supportive. Your sister will deal with it in her own way

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Rainbows bridge website

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"Rainbows bridge website"

Just had a google ... emotional all over again now! Thank you x

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By *urlyCatzWoman  over a year ago

Blackpool


"My sister recently lost her cat, she was sadly run over. She’s blaming herself for letting her go out, and she’s just so devastated. It’s heartbreaking. I know myself the pain of losing a fur baby, and it’s the worst.

Have you been through this? What helped that others did or said? I’m struggling with helping her to feel better. I know grief and loss is a process she needs to ride out, but any nuggets of advice based on what helped or didn’t help others, would be helpful to me right now.

Thank you "

I also lost my beautiful furbaby boy to a car. It broke me, he was only 4, your support will be helping even if it doesn't appear to.

The guilt we feel when we lose makes it harder, let her cry, let her scream, as others have said only time eases the hurt. I'm welling up now for her and everyone who has lost as I know how it feels.

Give her hugs and a virtual hug from me x

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By * and R cple4Couple  over a year ago

swansea


"My sister recently lost her cat, she was sadly run over. She’s blaming herself for letting her go out, and she’s just so devastated. It’s heartbreaking. I know myself the pain of losing a fur baby, and it’s the worst.

Have you been through this? What helped that others did or said? I’m struggling with helping her to feel better. I know grief and loss is a process she needs to ride out, but any nuggets of advice based on what helped or didn’t help others, would be helpful to me right now.

Thank you "

Ahh that’s so sad we lost our cat last year and we had him for 15 years and it still hurts like hell..My son planted a bush in the garden that helped a little

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By *teppen.WolfMan  over a year ago

The wild west

10+ years later and I still have a cat-shaped hole inside

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Rainbows bridge website

Just had a google ... emotional all over again now! Thank you x"

Its tough going because its full of really sad people.

Losing a pet is bloody hard

But strangely, it does help

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"My sister recently lost her cat, she was sadly run over. She’s blaming herself for letting her go out, and she’s just so devastated. It’s heartbreaking. I know myself the pain of losing a fur baby, and it’s the worst.

Have you been through this? What helped that others did or said? I’m struggling with helping her to feel better. I know grief and loss is a process she needs to ride out, but any nuggets of advice based on what helped or didn’t help others, would be helpful to me right now.

Thank you

I also lost my beautiful furbaby boy to a car. It broke me, he was only 4, your support will be helping even if it doesn't appear to.

The guilt we feel when we lose makes it harder, let her cry, let her scream, as others have said only time eases the hurt. I'm welling up now for her and everyone who has lost as I know how it feels.

Give her hugs and a virtual hug from me x"

When she called me crying I was instantly back there too, remembering picking my fur baby boy up from the garden where he’d gone to sleep forever. The memory was so vivid and the pain so acute. I desperately want to take it away for her.

Thank you for your hugs

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"My sister recently lost her cat, she was sadly run over. She’s blaming herself for letting her go out, and she’s just so devastated. It’s heartbreaking. I know myself the pain of losing a fur baby, and it’s the worst.

Have you been through this? What helped that others did or said? I’m struggling with helping her to feel better. I know grief and loss is a process she needs to ride out, but any nuggets of advice based on what helped or didn’t help others, would be helpful to me right now.

Thank you Ahh that’s so sad we lost our cat last year and we had him for 15 years and it still hurts like hell..My son planted a bush in the garden that helped a little "

Lovely idea, thank you

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By *urlyCatzWoman  over a year ago

Blackpool


"My sister recently lost her cat, she was sadly run over. She’s blaming herself for letting her go out, and she’s just so devastated. It’s heartbreaking. I know myself the pain of losing a fur baby, and it’s the worst.

Have you been through this? What helped that others did or said? I’m struggling with helping her to feel better. I know grief and loss is a process she needs to ride out, but any nuggets of advice based on what helped or didn’t help others, would be helpful to me right now.

Thank you

I also lost my beautiful furbaby boy to a car. It broke me, he was only 4, your support will be helping even if it doesn't appear to.

The guilt we feel when we lose makes it harder, let her cry, let her scream, as others have said only time eases the hurt. I'm welling up now for her and everyone who has lost as I know how it feels.

Give her hugs and a virtual hug from me x

When she called me crying I was instantly back there too, remembering picking my fur baby boy up from the garden where he’d gone to sleep forever. The memory was so vivid and the pain so acute. I desperately want to take it away for her.

Thank you for your hugs "

I couldn't part with him, he is buried in the front garden. We sadly lost his mum 2 years ago and she lies with him. It really does get easier, your sister is lucky to have your support.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Over the years I've lost 4 dogs. Old age and 3 cats all run over. I still miss every single one of them !!!

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village

Thank you everyone, and to those who took the time to PM some helpful ideas. You’re all lovely

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By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

I still miss all my pets, especially the dogs. I just tried to remember what a good life we gave them and what pampered little furry creatures they were. At least I knew the days they had were happy ones filled with love.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Thanks, I'm crying now Your friend's lucky to have you there for her

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sorry, *sister, I got caught up in all the responses

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"Thanks, I'm crying now Your friend's lucky to have you there for her "

It’s so sad. She’s my baby sister too so I just want to take the pain away for her. Wish there was more I could do. She got her cat after her marriage broke down and she was her little best friend. I know the pain myself so I’m trying to reassure her it will pass but it’s not helping right now...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thanks, I'm crying now Your friend's lucky to have you there for her

It’s so sad. She’s my baby sister too so I just want to take the pain away for her. Wish there was more I could do. She got her cat after her marriage broke down and she was her little best friend. I know the pain myself so I’m trying to reassure her it will pass but it’s not helping right now... "

It will be helping, crying is part of the grieving process. My sister was quite worried about me after the loss of one of our cats. However I think I learned to live with it quickly, as I let out all the feelings and processed them as felt right to me. As others have said, hold space for her, reassure her you are there for her.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Its rough, I am sorry.

The Blue Cross runs a pet bereavement service, maybe that might help her? xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've never lost a pet but I've seen a few mates die. Something I figured out that helped a bit was you never get over it but you an get used to it. And as long as you think about them they are still alive in your heart

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"I've never lost a pet but I've seen a few mates die. Something I figured out that helped a bit was you never get over it but you an get used to it. And as long as you think about them they are still alive in your heart "

Sorry to hear about your mates.

Lovely way to think about it though...

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"Its rough, I am sorry.

The Blue Cross runs a pet bereavement service, maybe that might help her? xx"

Yes I’ve seen a couple of pet bereavement services and sent her details. Thank you

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Yes think Cats Protection League do a phone bereavement service also.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We've had a few cats who have passed, I had a canvas picture done of them so she can see them whenever she wants.

This may be morbid for some but we also had their ashes given to her in a pretty pot. She put the pots in their favourite place to sit. We had cat brothers for 20 years so it was devastating to lose them.

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"We've had a few cats who have passed, I had a canvas picture done of them so she can see them whenever she wants.

This may be morbid for some but we also had their ashes given to her in a pretty pot. She put the pots in their favourite place to sit. We had cat brothers for 20 years so it was devastating to lose them.

"

I don’t think that’s morbid at all. My daughter still has the ashes of our beautiful fur baby in her room - she keeps them under her bed. It’s just a comfort to her knowing he’s still “there”...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We've had a few cats who have passed, I had a canvas picture done of them so she can see them whenever she wants.

This may be morbid for some but we also had their ashes given to her in a pretty pot. She put the pots in their favourite place to sit. We had cat brothers for 20 years so it was devastating to lose them.

I don’t think that’s morbid at all. My daughter still has the ashes of our beautiful fur baby in her room - she keeps them under her bed. It’s just a comfort to her knowing he’s still “there”... "

J tattooed his dogs ashes into his arm and wears some of them in a pendant necklace, so they're always with him

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By *ouanna Jo OP   Woman  over a year ago

A little village


"We've had a few cats who have passed, I had a canvas picture done of them so she can see them whenever she wants.

This may be morbid for some but we also had their ashes given to her in a pretty pot. She put the pots in their favourite place to sit. We had cat brothers for 20 years so it was devastating to lose them.

I don’t think that’s morbid at all. My daughter still has the ashes of our beautiful fur baby in her room - she keeps them under her bed. It’s just a comfort to her knowing he’s still “there”...

J tattooed his dogs ashes into his arm and wears some of them in a pendant necklace, so they're always with him "

Awww lovely idea

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