FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Would you message me???
Would you message me???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is not clickbait.
Genuine question... would you message me with my profile as it is now?
No profile picture, a descent amount of write up on profile and some verifications?
Constructive criticism welcome.
And i know... different people have different views and preferences...
Just curious. Thats all.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No idea why your parentage is important on a sex site and saying you can’t show any pictures because of profession is a bit of a cop out and is likely to mean women don’t contact you.
You aren’t looking for blokes so no I wouldn’t message you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No.
The whole "proffesional" thing on a profile, on a swingers site...dont get it, never have, never will.
Also agree not having pics due to your job is horse shit. Keep face pics private, edit out any tattoos, job done. If someone you work with finds you here, they're here too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No photos means I’d ignore you and delete any messages without reading.
You can't beat brutal feedback like that, you could have a career in profile optimisation x"
Wasn’t going for brutal!!  just honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No photos means I’d ignore you and delete any messages without reading. "
 Seconded. Even a well written profile can't make up for not seeing the person. |
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"No photos means I’d ignore you and delete any messages without reading.
You can't beat brutal feedback like that, you could have a career in profile optimisation x
Wasn’t going for brutal!! just honest. "
That's fair, it was honest...he knows where he stands |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok. I was wrong. I cant take constructive criticism!
Everyone back off! Only messing.
I understand and i get it. At least a body pic would be enough. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope, no photos and can't accommodate. For me it screams 'not single' or hiding something. Wouldn't reply to the message. "
Hiding my job.
And with social media, despite being private... you can put 1 and 1 together and will be found. It would come out. |
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"No photos means I’d ignore you and delete any messages without reading.
Seconded. Even a well written profile can't make up for not seeing the person."
Can we make this a threesome?...
But yep agreed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No photos means I’d ignore you and delete any messages without reading.
Seconded. Even a well written profile can't make up for not seeing the person.
Can we make this a threesome?...
But yep agreed. "
How about I bring K along and make it a moresome?  |
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"No photos means I’d ignore you and delete any messages without reading.
Seconded. Even a well written profile can't make up for not seeing the person.
Can we make this a threesome?...
But yep agreed.
How about I bring K along and make it a moresome? "
Yes, please and thank you!  |
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By *meliaeWoman
over a year ago
Chester |
Unless you are head to toe tatted, its easy enough to post photos that are unidentifiable.
Personally I wouldnt message a profile where I can’t see who I would be messaging. I also wouldnt bother to read verifications on a profile without a photo due to us all having different tastes and preferences. I agree with the others, your profile currently reads as though you are hiding yourself due to being in a relationship, which would put me right off responding to a message too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whats up Lorenzo. We spoke in the past. You have always been voice of "reason"! And body of "fucking ripped admiration"
Haha "
Then hopefully you'll take the words on board A lot of people are cautious about being recognisable but as someone said to me "How many people know what you look like naked without a face attached?" Body, back, legs, bum, cock (just a couple) nobody's going to recognise them and it'll make your profile a lot more interesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No photos means I’d ignore you and delete any messages without reading.
Seconded. Even a well written profile can't make up for not seeing the person.
Can we make this a threesome?...
But yep agreed.
How about I bring K along and make it a moresome?
Yes, please and thank you! "
No no, thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Rightly or wrongly there are enough red flags for me that personally I would suspect you are cheating. "
I get that alot. Understandably. But .. its profession. And personally dont like admitting i live with my mum. But she is great. No offence Mumma! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whats up Lorenzo. We spoke in the past. You have always been voice of "reason"! And body of "fucking ripped admiration"
Haha
Then hopefully you'll take the words on board A lot of people are cautious about being recognisable but as someone said to me "How many people know what you look like naked without a face attached?" Body, back, legs, bum, cock (just a couple) nobody's going to recognise them and it'll make your profile a lot more interesting."
I have distinctive scars and tattoos.
But yes... could cover them up... but that would just draw more attention to them.
Oh well... if its meant to be then it will be. |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
"This is not clickbait.
Genuine question... would you message me with my profile as it is now?
No profile picture, a descent amount of write up on profile and some verifications?
Constructive criticism welcome.
And i know... different people have different views and preferences...
Just curious. Thats all. "
No. |
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No, I wouldn't message, but not because of lack of pics. Pics on a profile don't matter to me.
For one, I am not looking for bdsm, and more importantly, your profile describes you but doesn't give any hint of your personality (and if it does, I'd say rather boring).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whats up Lorenzo. We spoke in the past. You have always been voice of "reason"! And body of "fucking ripped admiration"
Haha
Then hopefully you'll take the words on board A lot of people are cautious about being recognisable but as someone said to me "How many people know what you look like naked without a face attached?" Body, back, legs, bum, cock (just a couple) nobody's going to recognise them and it'll make your profile a lot more interesting.
I have distinctive scars and tattoos.
But yes... could cover them up... but that would just draw more attention to them.
Oh well... if its meant to be then it will be. "
Do the people you work with see the scars or marks underneath your clothes?
That's a relaxed workplace! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whats up Lorenzo. We spoke in the past. You have always been voice of "reason"! And body of "fucking ripped admiration"
Haha
Then hopefully you'll take the words on board A lot of people are cautious about being recognisable but as someone said to me "How many people know what you look like naked without a face attached?" Body, back, legs, bum, cock (just a couple) nobody's going to recognise them and it'll make your profile a lot more interesting.
I have distinctive scars and tattoos.
But yes... could cover them up... but that would just draw more attention to them.
Oh well... if its meant to be then it will be. "
It's very easy to blur out things like that on pictures |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"Rightly or wrongly there are enough red flags for me that personally I would suspect you are cheating.
I get that alot. Understandably. But .. its profession. And personally dont like admitting i live with my mum. But she is great. No offence Mumma! "
I'd also be suspicious that a person with a job so sensitive they can't share pictures also lives with their mother. Those jobs tend to pay quite well. And yes I know there are other considerations other than financial why people live with their parents but for many that is the main driver.
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"Rightly or wrongly there are enough red flags for me that personally I would suspect you are cheating.
I get that alot. Understandably. But .. its profession. And personally dont like admitting i live with my mum. But she is great. No offence Mumma! "
A picture of your chest would give away your profession? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the absence of pictures your verifications are enough to spark an interest I guess, if you had messaged something interesting I might have replied . I do like to see a bum though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Rightly or wrongly there are enough red flags for me that personally I would suspect you are cheating.
I get that alot. Understandably. But .. its profession. And personally dont like admitting i live with my mum. But she is great. No offence Mumma!
A picture of your chest would give away your profession? "
Come on... silly question.
Give away identity. Then identity would give away profession.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ignore our lack of any compatibility for the purpose of this exercise...
Your profile reads or hints at a number of negative emotions in my view...
Doesn’t accommodate... will the wife/gf have issues? You are a successful professional, your age suggests in that position you’d have your own place so basically... what are you hiding?
I think the whole ‘discrete’ thing is such a nonsense to mention. Swingers by nature are discrete, respect one another’s privacy etc. All my experiences from those stating they need to be discrete actually mean they have something to hide or at best are ridiculously nervous.
Photography, there’s a million visual ways to hint at the person without giving away identity. To have nothing visible is missing a trick, I’d say faceless but I think for most picture less profiles are a no no.
Bi/Gay guys stop messaging me... who are you kidding, that community is so visually driven there’s no chance you are getting a flood of requests from hot guys... it reads as a fairly desperate way to suggest you are hot property tbh.
Humour; people want to relax, have a laugh and feel comfortable in this hobby... there’s little character that comes across in what is quite a serious profile statement... perhaps lighten it up and show the world the character instead
Hope that helps x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ignore our lack of any compatibility for the purpose of this exercise...
Your profile reads or hints at a number of negative emotions in my view...
Doesn’t accommodate... will the wife/gf have issues? You are a successful professional, your age suggests in that position you’d have your own place so basically... what are you hiding?
I think the whole ‘discrete’ thing is such a nonsense to mention. Swingers by nature are discrete, respect one another’s privacy etc. All my experiences from those stating they need to be discrete actually mean they have something to hide or at best are ridiculously nervous.
Photography, there’s a million visual ways to hint at the person without giving away identity. To have nothing visible is missing a trick, I’d say faceless but I think for most picture less profiles are a no no.
Bi/Gay guys stop messaging me... who are you kidding, that community is so visually driven there’s no chance you are getting a flood of requests from hot guys... it reads as a fairly desperate way to suggest you are hot property tbh.
Humour; people want to relax, have a laugh and feel comfortable in this hobby... there’s little character that comes across in what is quite a serious profile statement... perhaps lighten it up and show the world the character instead
Hope that helps x
"
Thank you for taking the time to write all this. I appreciate it.
Yes i agree. My profile reads negative.
I dont accomodate with gone through a divorce and live with mumma.
My career for me is successful. Success is measured in different ways. Or even important career is measured in different ways. Importance and success is not measured in currency for me. Therefore having my own place is irrelevant.
Million ways to change a photograph or hide in photograph of photoshop. Million to you. One to me and thats adding emojis, but like i mentioned before. It would draw attention to my scars positions or tattoos positions.
Surprisingly a lot of gays, bis, men are messaging me. Hot or not. I get a lot who message me. After i asked them nicely to stop. They stopped.
I hope i have answered some of your questions.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope i have answered some of your questions.
"
They weren’t questions, they where statements based on reading your profile.
As with all the posts from people on here we are giving you a viewpoint on how your advert reads to the outsider unaware of the real you. I think all the replies have made good points.
Your answers, explanations etc are irrelevant (in the nicest possible way). The fact you are needing to explain elements highlights the issue.
For instance... “living with Mumma”, why not say recently divorced and unable to accommodate at this time, realise it’s a question mark and tick it off in the best way you can (don’t mention “Mumma”), explaining it on a forum doesn’t help your profile.
Photos, as a lady on here said, stick your bum up... who at your work will recognise that? I’ve seen guys do little ‘loosening tie’ headless selfies etc, just things that hint at the person, playfulness, fun or whatever... anything is an improvement on nothing.
The one thing that is good... your 4 veris, sadly the person they paint utterly fails to come through in any form elsewhere... that’s perhaps the thinking you need to apply to the rest as in my opinion, to read veris you need to be a little bit intrigued.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hope i have answered some of your questions.
They weren’t questions, they where statements based on reading your profile.
As with all the posts from people on here we are giving you a viewpoint on how your advert reads to the outsider unaware of the real you. I think all the replies have made good points.
Your answers, explanations etc are irrelevant (in the nicest possible way). The fact you are needing to explain elements highlights the issue.
For instance... “living with Mumma”, why not say recently divorced and unable to accommodate at this time, realise it’s a question mark and tick it off in the best way you can (don’t mention “Mumma”), explaining it on a forum doesn’t help your profile.
Photos, as a lady on here said, stick your bum up... who at your work will recognise that? I’ve seen guys do little ‘loosening tie’ headless selfies etc, just things that hint at the person, playfulness, fun or whatever... anything is an improvement on nothing.
The one thing that is good... your 4 veris, sadly the person they paint utterly fails to come through in any form elsewhere... that’s perhaps the thinking you need to apply to the rest as in my opinion, to read veris you need to be a little bit intrigued.
"
Ok. Havent read after you mentioned these are statements.
Wish you all the best...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. Havent read after you mentioned these are statements.
Wish you all the best...
"
Those reading the reply and then your statement may feel you’re being ridiculously defensive as there’s no attack but... no worries.
Good luck with your profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is not clickbait.
Genuine question... would you message me with my profile as it is now?
No profile picture, a descent amount of write up on profile and some verifications?
Constructive criticism welcome.
And i know... different people have different views and preferences...
Just curious. Thats all. "
No, I wouldn't. I won't talk to a shadow and no public pictures puts me off. I don't get why your job means you can't have any kind of public picture, it doesn't need to be your face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find on here bear little resemblance to real life. If you are a genuine nice guy then that won't come across much. So the ones with all the pics will get more hits. Ironically in my experience those same people will them complain that no nice guys exist on this site ha ha I'm a nutsehll. Guys can't really win ha ha |
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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago
Oo err Devon |
The no profile pic with also not accomidating would make it a no... Pics don't have to be of your whole body.. So something is better than nothing.. Well I'm not keen on cock pic profile pics either mind you.. But a nice bum in jeans or teasing photo is rather nice... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did you not get enough feedback from all your other questions OP?"
Obviously not. Hence i asked the question.
Are you getting enough attention pointing this out?
Nice intentions from you!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is not clickbait.
Genuine question... would you message me with my profile as it is now?
No profile picture, a descent amount of write up on profile and some verifications?
Constructive criticism welcome.
And i know... different people have different views and preferences...
Just curious. Thats all. "
Nope
But we only reply to messages sent and never send a first message so our no means fuck all really.
Best of luck
T |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is not clickbait.
Genuine question... would you message me with my profile as it is now?
No profile picture, a descent amount of write up on profile and some verifications?
Constructive criticism welcome.
And i know... different people have different views and preferences...
Just curious. Thats all.
Nope
But we only reply to messages sent and never send a first message so our no means fuck all really.
Best of luck
T"
Not at all... your 'NO'still means something.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is not clickbait.
Genuine question... would you message me with my profile as it is now?
No profile picture, a descent amount of write up on profile and some verifications?
Constructive criticism welcome.
And i know... different people have different views and preferences...
Just curious. Thats all. "
Nope, shadow avatar, no public pictures mean I would delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The one thing that is good... your 4 veris, sadly the person they paint utterly fails to come through in any form elsewhere..."
Yes! A peculiarity to have verifications give off more character than the profile itself. For this curiosity I would reply if contacted but I would not initiate because the profile itself is so milquetoast.
As for no pics, I avoid conversing with people without a profile pic because it makes my inbox look miserable and confusing. |
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"Did you not get enough feedback from all your other questions OP?
Obviously not. Hence i asked the question.
Are you getting enough attention pointing this out?
Nice intentions from you!
"
Are you feeling a little angry today? I'm so sorry you've had a day that's ended up with you being curt.
I hope tomorrow is much better for you. |
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