FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > You should never meet your idols
You should never meet your idols
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Now, I don't exactly have "idols" on here, however, do you think this term applies?
Do you worry that you have lusted after someone so long that they won't live upto your imagination in person?
Had it actually happen a couple of times 
This is no fault of their own (unless they purposefully mislead with extreme edits of photos or lies) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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personally, the ones ive lusted over for ages and never thought I'd get the chance to meet, when we have, it's exceeded expectations.. regardless of play or not, they've been awesome people, we've shared wicked times, and I feel lucky that Ive had those experiences.
I'm sure it does happen OP, and the dream is better than the reality. But then you draw that up to experience, and don't repeat it, right?
You watch I've jinxed myself now ey 
Px  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think there can be a danger of that happening when your interaction is completely textual - but then it can also happen that you find someone so completely on your wavelength that it transfers from textual to in person seamlessly and when thay happens it's truly special.
I guess the key is in trying not to set too many expectations and being completely open and honest |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"personally, the ones ive lusted over for ages and never thought I'd get the chance to meet, when we have, it's exceeded expectations.. regardless of play or not, they've been awesome people, we've shared wicked times, and I feel lucky that Ive had those experiences.
I'm sure it does happen OP, and the dream is better than the reality. But then you draw that up to experience, and don't repeat it, right?
You watch I've jinxed myself now ey
Px "
I have also had great experiences too dont get me wrong.
However a couple of times they have come to a club and dispite all the talk....they get stage fright....
Or they look NOTHING like their photos and didn't actually realise who was talking to me until they say their username and I realise I had arrange to have some fun with them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I do. Not just on here but anywhere online it can't happen. I've had it happen on dating sites in the past.
It's easy for people to pretend online and over messages or to come across differently wheather it's intentional or not. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I believe this does happen on here. People put you on a pedestal then when you meet them and you're just another person they can be disappointed.
It then leaves you feeling like you're not good enough. Because you didn't live upto their expectations.
Jo.Xx
"
Yes I also worry about it happening the other way round too |
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Yes, it's happened - hot as hell physically, but just not how they portrayed themself in messages 
It's the main reason that I arrange a meet quickly with anyone that I really like (plus I get bored of messaging pretty quickly). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met Billy Idol and he was very nice. So this thread title is bollocks."
That’s definitive so best close the thread.
On here I was a fan boy of a few posters before we opened a joint profile and I’ve met a few and now I’m not so much a fan boy I suppose.
Ego is such a leveler!!!
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, it's happened - hot as hell physically, but just not how they portrayed themself in messages
It's the main reason that I arrange a meet quickly with anyone that I really like (plus I get bored of messaging pretty quickly). "
This^ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes, it's happened - hot as hell physically, but just not how they portrayed themself in messages
It's the main reason that I arrange a meet quickly with anyone that I really like (plus I get bored of messaging pretty quickly). "
Not a bad way to be. Lots of messages can bore me, espescially if its just "how you doing today" every few days |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
It's a concern both ways - neither of you knows who is going to turn up. Expectation is the mother of disappointment, as they say.
Everyone puts their favourite photos up, so there's that element of only presenting your best self. But there must also be an element, in some cases, of not even being aware of how representative those photos are. I've thought 'do they think they actually look like their photos?' before - it can really throw you off. I'm a lot more chatty in text than in person, at least at first.
It should become more acceptable to call it out, whether the deception is willing or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think I've met any that I've really "idoliised" yet apart from K and we know how that turned out  There are a few on my radar though that I'm planning to meet and all signs are point towards great things |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Yes, it's happened - hot as hell physically, but just not how they portrayed themself in messages
It's the main reason that I arrange a meet quickly with anyone that I really like (plus I get bored of messaging pretty quickly).
Not a bad way to be. Lots of messages can bore me, espescially if its just "how you doing today" every few days"
I don't think there's any right way or wrong way - and often it will come down to the two individuals concerned to find what works for them.
I personally enjoy swapping messages with people and getting to know them before even talking about meeting - it gives time for a connection and chemistry to build and to have a fair idea that the other person is genuinely someone you want to meet. It also does away with the problem of timewasters pretty much because by the time it comes to meeting you've built a rapport and can be 99% certain they're as interested in you as you are them.
Yes it does mean sometimes things fizzle out and interest is lost in either direction but I just see that as a natural and sub-conscious filter.
That said I can also see the benefits of moving to meet sooner, not sure it would work for me personally, and with it there are downsides such as timewasters and those who aren't what they portray themselves to be. |
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It can do if you let yourself get carried away. The truth is you don't truly "meet" someone until you meet them in person. Sometimes you can get too excited about someone and build up an idealised version of them in your head. Always try to keep some level of apprehension until you actually meet someone. |
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"Now, I don't exactly have "idols" on here, however, do you think this term applies?
Do you worry that you have lusted after someone so long that they won't live upto your imagination in person?
Had it actually happen a couple of times
This is no fault of their own (unless they purposefully mislead with extreme edits of photos or lies) "
I met someone I lusted after a couple years back - biggest disappointment of my entire fab time !!
Sometimes the packaging is far better than the gift   |
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From a fab point of view, I think most are open enough sharing photos and texts, probably phone calls before meeting - you know roughly what to expect. Of course there will always be a disappointed few I guess.
Luckily, everyone Ive met from here have not disappointed at all. The one I never met continues to be a flailing disappointment .... or lucky escape! |
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Reminds me of the Les Dennis tweets last year, they were funny.
Somebody claimed he'd refused to sign an autograph for them at a Brewers Fayre in Warrington that day and Les Dennis saw it and tweeted that he'd been at home all day and 'don't lie'.
There followed hundreds of outlandish tweets which were really funny. One was:
“Once met Les Dennis in a cove in Cornwall in 1974. “He told me that he was an ancient sea rambler, washed up on the shore that morning. I asked him to sing me a sea shanty of his people and he told me to f*** off. Since then, I've never watched another episode of #familyfortunes.”
There were loads like this. Google it if you haven't seen them, some are really funny. |
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Another social media user commented: "I bumped into Les Dennis in a Norfolk Supermarket. He had single-handedly scooped up all the toilet rolls into 15 trolleys he had chained together like a train. He threatened to "gut me like a fish" if I touched any of them. #disappointed " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s never happened to me but I do wonder if they feel it about me, many spend too much time fantasising about pictures rather than thinking of the person"
I have this issue! Massively!!! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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There was a man I met who used to use the fora and he had a lot of the women swooning after him because he photographed like an utter babe and was quite witty with it. I did lust after him a lot because our conversations were fun and stimulating. He didn't quite live up to my imagination when we finally met because he's human and not just a male dildo crafted for my quim fantasies. I like him a lot more now we're friends and not just wank material. I think there's always that danger if you put someone on a bit of a pedestal, they won't quite measure up to your fap dreams. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve met my idols and genuinely can’t say a bad word against them, some have literally exceeded expectations, I think it all just depends on who you idolise these days.
Can’t say I idolise anyone on fab, but like others have said, it’s very easy to get lost in the imagination of them and build up a certain expectation, only to find out they act like a different person online than to in person.
But I guess it also depends on the kind of interaction you have with that person  |
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"No the opposite I always worry I won’t live up to their expectations  "
Oh god, me too. Especially if I've built it up in my head and I really REALLY fancy someone.
What if he took one look and scarpered? Or worse, we had sex and he thought I was crap?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has happened to me. I got to know someone well in the chatrooms and fantasised so much about her that when the time came, well I couldn’t perform, it was awkward as hell. Luckily as we had arranged to spend the whole night together the nerves and pedestalisation of her went away as did my issue...
Stop overthinking is all I can say!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not really, no. Sometimes I think if you message for too long you can go off the idea of meeting though "
I do this. If we don't meet within a week I'll talk myself out of it because I think too much. I've always felt that a conversation that lasts more than a week will never end up as a meet. I've spoken to people for like a month before and it just being a waste of time because they've gone silent. |
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"Not really, no. Sometimes I think if you message for too long you can go off the idea of meeting though
I do this. If we don't meet within a week I'll talk myself out of it because I think too much. I've always felt that a conversation that lasts more than a week will never end up as a meet. I've spoken to people for like a month before and it just being a waste of time because they've gone silent."
I agree up to a point, but there are people I’ve chatted to over months before meeting and between meets simply because of diary problems. |
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The only new people I will be meeting from here are my Idols, the ones who have stood out easily from the crowd and they are beautiful outside and inside, they have loads of female attention on the forums but still make time to have that daily conversation with me xxx |
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I fancied a friend from Uni for some 12 years before I got my hands on her. It was better than I could have hoped for, and every time I think about it I feel deeply satisfied by the whole experience, and want more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have any idols on here but i did message a guy here from the forums who seemed a really nice,fun guy, we arranged a social at his home.
It was awful, truly awful, he was drinking alcohol at 11am and didn't stop while i was there, his home was a filthy dump, he was a completely different character in real life, i can't say much more as it would identify him but i had to seek help from strangers in order to find my way back to my transport. I cried as i went home.
Never doing that again ! |
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Especially if they're dead.
Example, Marilyn Monroe would definitely be past her best. 
