FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > My fight against cancer
My fight against cancer
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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First off I would just like to say I'm not looking for pitty or attention from this story I just really wanted to write this down. With me knowing swingers are the most down to earth people I've met so I felt this would be a good place. Also if this helps anyone who was like me and avoided doctors like the plague that would be a huge bonus. Oh also I'm writing this out on mobile so sorry for any rubbish format or mistakes.
So at the start of November last year I started to get some serious chest pains, bad cough and felt overall terrible. I hate going to the doctors but I was feeling so bad I felt I couldn't avoid it this time. I used the push doctor app to get a video call consultation because I just find it so much easier than getting into my GP. Told the doc on the phone everything that was going on with me. After a few questions and answers they booked me in to see my GP in the next 30 minutes. I rushed down there and waited to see someone.
I'm sitting with the GP going over everything and the looks on her face did start to worry me as we went over things. She asked if I was driving and could make it to the hospital for a scan and blood test. I told her it wouldn't be a problem. Got down the hospital blood taken scan done.
Fast forward a couple of weeks I get a call saying my results have come back and if I could come in. I asked if they could just tell me over the phone to which they said we would prefer that you came in. I'm not daft, well not daft all the time. I knew something wasn't good and panic did set in a bit. Got down there and they gave me the news that I had stage 1 lung cancer. For people who were like me and don't know much about cancer or the steps. This is actually a lucky thing to catch cancer at stage 1 because of how treatable it is.
Preperations are made and I've been booked in to see a specialist and consultant on what steps to take. I get told all about my cancer, how it could of potentially happened, what kind it is, how to cope and seek support etc etc etc.
This is where my world falls apart. I couldn't process any of the news I'd just been told, I couldn't believe this was happening and I was just in a state of shock. It took me two weeks to open up about it and tell my family and close friends. They were all supportive and wanted to be there for me any way they could. But I didn't want that, I became cold and distant from everyone, I let no one in and pushed people away, I've destroyed relationships with people I truly cared about and who truly cared about me because of how terrified I was. I struggled so much inside my own head to process why this was happening to me. I didn't even feel like fighting it. The whole thing just became a mess along with me becoming a bigger mess.
Even though I was falling apart I pushed on and took radiotherapy as the treatment from the choices I had. It took its toll on me physically and I wasn't doing great mentally. Everything was going well from doctors point of view and things were looking up on the cancer situation.
Fast forward to corona and lock down. I think we can all day this sucked! Lockdown made things harder specially as I had to shield big time. But I still needed treatment. I continued my treatment things seemed to be going well the cancer was getting smaller and I was feeling hopeful. Then what I could only explain as a random panic attack happened while I was at home, lucky I don't live alone so they called 999 and an ambulance came and took me away.
Alls good right? Wrong. That panic attack forced them to do tests and make sure my cancer was still going. This is where I find out that it had been going from where they could see but missed it growing outwards. (I've had a lot of advice about this bit with who I've told and a few said to sue. I'm not doing that as I feel they do their best and that money is important to the health service). World collapses again and I just get fed up and tell them I was surgery just get the fucking thing out.
Surgery gets booked in and I go under within a few weeks. Wake up alls good. Boring week in hospital followed by some chemo sessions, antibiotics and painkillers.
Go back in for a scan and a chat, finally hear some good news of how I'm in remission and the fight is over. Break down crying there and then. Things finally feel back to normal apart from the scar down my chest which I'll admit I'm a bit upset about.
But anyway if you read all that thank you for taking time to read my story. If I could give any advice, specially to the stubborn men like me, it would be if something feels wrong go get it checked out.
Cancer is a terrible thing, it takes and takes, physically, mentally and destroys what you love in my case.
Thanks again for reading, hope everyone is well. Sorry again for any mistakes or things I've missed out, mobile typing hurts after a bit and I started to rush this.
Take care  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow, what a ride you've been on xx of all of it I pick one aspect to comment on. You haven't ruined your relationships with people, they are still there waiting for you, to be ready with for their love for you. Let them be there for you, let them show you they care because its all they can do for you. They really want to help even if it's to sit and listen while you vent about the crappiness of it all.
I hope you continue to recover and find full health again xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going through something very similar with hubby. Bowel cancer, surgery, secondaries on his liver. Going through Chemo now. His treatment was stopped due corona, but luckily has just restarted. Cancer is horrid. It favours no one. If you ever need to sound off I'm sure hubby and I would listen. It's one of the rare cases where "we" (him) can say with some certainty we know what you're going through. Stay strong stay positive and don't let the bastard drag you down. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for the kind words. Soon as I'm fully recovered and feeling my energetic self I will be trying to fix the emotional damage that was caused. Also thank you to the people who said I would talk to them if I ever needed it, had a few private dms from people showing support as well. Really heart warming thank you |
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I don’t have the emotional intelligence to articulate how I feel for anybody going through this or indeed any trauma. I think though that OP you seem mature beyond your years. Hope it goes well for you. |
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"Going through something very similar with hubby. Bowel cancer, surgery, secondaries on his liver. Going through Chemo now. His treatment was stopped due corona, but luckily has just restarted. Cancer is horrid. It favours no one. If you ever need to sound off I'm sure hubby and I would listen. It's one of the rare cases where "we" (him) can say with some certainty we know what you're going through. Stay strong stay positive and don't let the bastard drag you down. "
All the best in your fight. |
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I think you are very brave to write this OP, you may just save someone else you know
I hope those friends and loved ones can understand and they are waiting for you.
If not, just write it down as you have done for us.
Good luck going forwards, wish you all the best
Jo xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow OP what a story... Cancer is terrible at any age but feels *especially* unfair when it affects someone so young  Sorry to hear you had to go through so much! Very happy to hear that you've completed your treatments and are now in remission! The surgery scar will fade a little with time but also consider it as your battle scar, you fought for your life and here we are! Keep healing, good luck with everything. |
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Wonderful news that you are now on the mend and great that you feel strong enough to share your story. Cancer is a terrible illness and it is always good to be reminded that it can come to any one of us at any age.xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you for taking the time and effort to write your post op as it will surely uplift and help some on here and I hope it’s helped you by writing it!!!
Cancer can fuck off and I truly hope you kick that bastards arse and lead your best life possible.
Before the days of bloggers vloggers and shit filled Karen social media we produced a football fanzine (it’s how we met) and one chap who was dying from Cancer would write a article from his hospital bed for every issue and it was just so damn uplifting to read as was your post op.
Fab admin we really do need a health forum as posts like this can and do help others.
Stay frosty out there!!!!!!
T |
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Fantastic that you are better OP.
I had stage 1 breast cancer. Count myself lucky. Didnt need chemo or rads as I caught it early. Just had my left boob removed...who needs a boob anyway.
Life changing xx
MsD
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Thank you for sharing your story. It really touched me. I have personal experience of this with a loved one. It was the most difficult time in our lives.
I'm so very happy to see you in recovery and wish you all the best for the future.
Those that you love and love you will understand the pain and fear you've experienced. I really want to wish you well for the future.
And to anyone else...if in doubt get it checked out x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve opened a thread on site feedback forum asking for a health forum as I really feel posts like this can help people like the op and others.
On a thread in the London forum I revived much help and support from other diabetics so if you think a health forum is a good call then pop over to the feedback forum and add your voice/words.
Cheers
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm so relieved and happy to hear you are over the worst of it OP.
I'm glad you are going to make amends with those who you lashed out at. I'm sure they will understand and you can move on from that. Sending hugs.
 |
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Thank you for sharing OP and hope you are soon back to full health.
Sometimes it's helpful to unload and get advice and support from people who you don't know and who have been through similar experiences.
Most people with cancer and other serious health problems don't want sympathy but do want a friend and someone to talk to.
I think a health forum is a great idea.
As for the scar OP, lots of ladies find them sexy. It shows that you have lived through difficult times and come through it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow, came back to this after a walk and the support from everyone is truly heart warming. It's so nice to see. Thank you again
I would definitely like a health forum, reading other people's stories while I was fighting this really help me feel hope. If I did that for just one person that would be great |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
You will be stronger for this and a health forum would be great! Looked after a close family member, with lung cancer, she passed a few months ago. She used to get very angry, understandably. Good luck and bless you  x |
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"Wow, came back to this after a walk and the support from everyone is truly heart warming. It's so nice to see. Thank you again
I would definitely like a health forum, reading other people's stories while I was fighting this really help me feel hope. If I did that for just one person that would be great "
That's really good to hear that this made you feel hope. It's good to talk and yes, I'm up for a health forum x |
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"First off I would just like to say I'm not looking for pitty or attention from this story I just really wanted to write this down. With me knowing swingers are the most down to earth people I've met so I felt this would be a good place. Also if this helps anyone who was like me and avoided doctors like the plague that would be a huge bonus. Oh also I'm writing this out on mobile so sorry for any rubbish format or mistakes.
So at the start of November last year I started to get some serious chest pains, bad cough and felt overall terrible. I hate going to the doctors but I was feeling so bad I felt I couldn't avoid it this time. I used the push doctor app to get a video call consultation because I just find it so much easier than getting into my GP. Told the doc on the phone everything that was going on with me. After a few questions and answers they booked me in to see my GP in the next 30 minutes. I rushed down there and waited to see someone.
I'm sitting with the GP going over everything and the looks on her face did start to worry me as we went over things. She asked if I was driving and could make it to the hospital for a scan and blood test. I told her it wouldn't be a problem. Got down the hospital blood taken scan done.
Fast forward a couple of weeks I get a call saying my results have come back and if I could come in. I asked if they could just tell me over the phone to which they said we would prefer that you came in. I'm not daft, well not daft all the time. I knew something wasn't good and panic did set in a bit. Got down there and they gave me the news that I had stage 1 lung cancer. For people who were like me and don't know much about cancer or the steps. This is actually a lucky thing to catch cancer at stage 1 because of how treatable it is.
Preperations are made and I've been booked in to see a specialist and consultant on what steps to take. I get told all about my cancer, how it could of potentially happened, what kind it is, how to cope and seek support etc etc etc.
This is where my world falls apart. I couldn't process any of the news I'd just been told, I couldn't believe this was happening and I was just in a state of shock. It took me two weeks to open up about it and tell my family and close friends. They were all supportive and wanted to be there for me any way they could. But I didn't want that, I became cold and distant from everyone, I let no one in and pushed people away, I've destroyed relationships with people I truly cared about and who truly cared about me because of how terrified I was. I struggled so much inside my own head to process why this was happening to me. I didn't even feel like fighting it. The whole thing just became a mess along with me becoming a bigger mess.
Even though I was falling apart I pushed on and took radiotherapy as the treatment from the choices I had. It took its toll on me physically and I wasn't doing great mentally. Everything was going well from doctors point of view and things were looking up on the cancer situation.
Fast forward to corona and lock down. I think we can all day this sucked! Lockdown made things harder specially as I had to shield big time. But I still needed treatment. I continued my treatment things seemed to be going well the cancer was getting smaller and I was feeling hopeful. Then what I could only explain as a random panic attack happened while I was at home, lucky I don't live alone so they called 999 and an ambulance came and took me away.
Alls good right? Wrong. That panic attack forced them to do tests and make sure my cancer was still going. This is where I find out that it had been going from where they could see but missed it growing outwards. (I've had a lot of advice about this bit with who I've told and a few said to sue. I'm not doing that as I feel they do their best and that money is important to the health service). World collapses again and I just get fed up and tell them I was surgery just get the fucking thing out.
Surgery gets booked in and I go under within a few weeks. Wake up alls good. Boring week in hospital followed by some chemo sessions, antibiotics and painkillers.
Go back in for a scan and a chat, finally hear some good news of how I'm in remission and the fight is over. Break down crying there and then. Things finally feel back to normal apart from the scar down my chest which I'll admit I'm a bit upset about.
But anyway if you read all that thank you for taking time to read my story. If I could give any advice, specially to the stubborn men like me, it would be if something feels wrong go get it checked out.
Cancer is a terrible thing, it takes and takes, physically, mentally and destroys what you love in my case.
Thanks again for reading, hope everyone is well. Sorry again for any mistakes or things I've missed out, mobile typing hurts after a bit and I started to rush this.
Take care "
Wow, what a strong minded person you seem even if you may not think it yourself.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow yes I read it all and that is some roller coaster you have had.
Am sorry it happened and that the issue of growth also but am glad was caught and now going in right direction.
Good luck with everything and stay safe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blimey! What a dreadful time you've been through. Your friends will understand, contact them, tell them you're sorry for how you behaved and reconnect. Nobody will blame you. "
This. True friends will stay around. And here is to a better cancer free time you can spend together bonding again x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont give up is all I can say make everything you do count...
Here's an inspirational video from a female comedian called Kathey Buckly.
https://youtu.be/RwhVslaotNA
|
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Hope it's helped you to share this l, as you hoped. It's a good prompt for others. I had my diagnosis just before lockdown and I've been in a lot of denial.
I'm sure your family and friends understand the impact on you and I hope things get closer with you again. Wishing you all the best from now |
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