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What's in your funeral plans??
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As some of you may know I lost a dear friend last week .
As per her instructions nobody is to wear black and dance music is to be played at the service.
But it got me to thinking, do you want your funeral to be a bit different or more traditional??
Sorry its morbid  |
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Two of my closest friends have died one at 22 and the other 34. The one of the 22 year old was very traditional and wasn't very him, and the other wasn't traditional at all and we as her friends took turns to talk about her or read a poem etc and was very personal to her.
For me it's whatever makes it easier for my kids, I'll hopefully be around long enough for them to decide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry for loss OP 
No black at mine, I want rock music played with my favourite song Sweet child of mine taking center stage.
Have a party after, celebrate my life. Turn my ashes in the a tree so I'm good for the environment. Pick a star and talk to that when they feel sad. |
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I want the people left behind to decide. It's for them rather than me. The only stipulation I make is that nobody says "it's what she would have wanted" it won't be because I wouldn't have wanted to die |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't want a funeral. I'd just like to be cremated and have my ashes scattered somewhere nice by my husband. I'd also like a tree planted for me rather than a grave or headstone of any kind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry for your loss OP, I would like a traditional funeral, but with couple of twists, eveyone has to wear a colour that clashes with black they are already wearing. Couple songs I want played. Then rest is up to family. |
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I’m happy with whatever makes it easier on everyone else.
I think sometimes these things can almost try too hard and be forced into a different or unique event that just doesn’t work. There’s no requests for anything in my will, people I care about are looked after and I asked for cremation only to avoid anybody else having to make that decision.
Sorry to hear about your friend OP. |
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The mourners at mine can wear whatever they feel comfortable in
I’d like traditional hymns but a short service
I’d like to be cremated
As the curtains close I’d like my close GFs to crack open a bottle of Veuve Cliqucot and sing Rule Britania
I’ve no doubt the wake in my honour will be lively
Hopefully that’s a way off yet |
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Sorry for your loss op.
I dont want any kind of funeral at all.
I've put myself on the list for donating my body to medical science in the hope that if any part or all of me is useful for future generations of medical staff to learn from or new ways of operating on can be developed.
My Dad did the same 5 years ago when he passed away from a very rare and aggressive type of cancer and within 7 days there were surgeons and consultants gathered from around the world to study him. Knowing that people could live because of things learned from his death is a great comfort to me.
I often wonder where in the world parts of him are and what they are doing with him and find it fascinating, his body is to be used for up to 30 years if they still have them and then they dispose of him when they're done with him by cremation.
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Stick me in the ground next to my lovely grandma and grandad and that’s all I need.
Don’t need no fancy funeral or coffin. Although if those coffin dancers from Ghana are still about they can come. |
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I'm so sorry Slim, I have only just learnt of your loss.
Me? Don't want a funeral unless my son feel he needs one for the grieving process. I don't have the money to pay for one and don't want him to have the financial stress a funeral brings.
My body can go to medical science if he's cool with not organisinga funeral, I won't be needing it any more.
Instead, a fancy dress party.
I hope to be remembered for the laughs and bit of sunshine I've hopefully brought into the odd life, and think it would be easier for people to raise a smile whilst looking a tit with cheesy 80s and rock music than it would watching my coffin disappear.
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
I want a humanist ceremony although I have no objection to religious friends finding their own solace praying for me. I want my life to be celebrated rather than my death mourned. I know the songs I want and my partner knows where I want my ashes scattered. Dress code is casual, band tees and runnibg tops encouraged, but I couldn't enforce no black rule as too many old goths amongst my friends! |
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"I'm so sorry Slim, I have only just learnt of your loss.
Me? Don't want a funeral unless my son feel he needs one for the grieving process. I don't have the money to pay for one and don't want him to have the financial stress a funeral brings.
My body can go to medical science if he's cool with not organisinga funeral, I won't be needing it any more.
Instead, a fancy dress party.
I hope to be remembered for the laughs and bit of sunshine I've hopefully brought into the odd life, and think it would be easier for people to raise a smile whilst looking a tit with cheesy 80s and rock music than it would watching my coffin disappear.
"
Sounds like you P  . And thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry for your loss fella....
Having been to and arranged a fair few funerals (too many) in my time, it really doesn't bother me what music is playing or what the guests are wearing. I'd probably rather they come as they see fit than instruct them. It's what you do when you're alive that matters and everyone's memories of you will be personal and individual. No criticism intended to your friend or anyone for that matter but I don't think trying to tweek a person's grief is a great idea myself. Death IS sad, life is amazing, sometimes grief can only dealt with in the quiet space after the party has ended..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Songs
Highway to hell
Ace of spades
The lord's my shepherd (because it's the only one my heathens at the Albion will know).
Dress code.
Football shirt or whatever you're comfortable with.
No flowers, donations to Tommy's campaign.
Ideally I would like to be floated out to sea on a raft and a burning arrow fired at the raft, but 1 I don't think you can do that, and two, none of my friends have the coordination to hit the raft. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im sorry about your friend OP. truly.
Personally, my family/friends know im not having a funeral.
im an organ donor, and when they've taken what they can, my body is going to medical science.
so in lieu of a funeral, there shall just be a party held, everyone wearing the brightest colours they can find, no tears allowed, with all the best music (mix between the cringiest of cheeeeesey pop, to the heaviest of edm  ), and my mam and dad doing the food.. Buffet and Bbq style. Because our parties are legendary, and their food is the best. And no doubt they're regail all the most embarrassing stories of my crazy little life, and everyone will roar with laughter and how silly and wonderful our memories have been.
Sending you lots of love.
Px |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
In all seriousness a number of people on here probably need to confirm some plans because what they want is not going to happen.
If you want to donate your body to medical science you need to do that now while you are alive. Even then they probably wont want you. But they definitely won't want you if you dead and you think your family can tout you round to university hospitals on the off chance they do. And you need a plan B because organ donation or a post mortem they wont want you.
And if you think telling your family you dont want a funeral is okay what do you think happens? You leave them a shitstorm to deal with, take bit of responsibility and dont make a shit time for your family even harder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry to hear about your friend Grumpy.
I don't really want a funeral. It's too much money. My dad had a very basic funeral and it still managed to cost the family around £8000 which was ridiculous and I genuinely don't know how we scraped it together.
I want whatever is cheapest. I'd love to have my body donated to science but that depends on how happy my partner and daughter are to do that as I'd hate to cause them more distress. I'd prefer cremation over burial.
I don't want a celebration of my life (I am miserable I know) or a day for me. I just want my family to remember me and make sure they have so many memories to treasure. I'd like them to scatter my ashes (if they have them) somewhere breathtakingly beautiful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry to hear about your friend Grumpy.
I don't really want a funeral. It's too much money. My dad had a very basic funeral and it still managed to cost the family around £8000 which was ridiculous and I genuinely don't know how we scraped it together.
I want whatever is cheapest. I'd love to have my body donated to science but that depends on how happy my partner and daughter are to do that as I'd hate to cause them more distress. I'd prefer cremation over burial.
I don't want a celebration of my life (I am miserable I know) or a day for me. I just want my family to remember me and make sure they have so many memories to treasure. I'd like them to scatter my ashes (if they have them) somewhere breathtakingly beautiful."
I kinda agree with all that.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only one who’s never given this a thought? Find it all a bit too much ...  "
I kinda agree with that too. My funeral is for others it's not really my party..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's definitely a morbid subject but it's so important to tell those closest to you what you want!
When my dad was dying he never really spoke about what he wanted. But he did mention to me that he would hate to buried, but my family all agreed on a burial as they thought that would be what he would want. I know it doesn't really matter now he's gone, but it would have been amazing if we could have done that final part of his life exactly how he would have wanted us to.
I've spoke to my partner about what we both want several times because you never know what tomorrow brings. |
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By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago
A little village |
"It's definitely a morbid subject but it's so important to tell those closest to you what you want!
When my dad was dying he never really spoke about what he wanted. But he did mention to me that he would hate to buried, but my family all agreed on a burial as they thought that would be what he would want. I know it doesn't really matter now he's gone, but it would have been amazing if we could have done that final part of his life exactly how he would have wanted us to.
I've spoke to my partner about what we both want several times because you never know what tomorrow brings. "
Yeah I can see why people talk about it. I think I’m just a bit head in the sand about it all. Don’t want to think it could actually happen. It would also be far too an upsetting topic for my teen daughter I think.  |
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"im sorry about your friend OP. truly.
Personally, my family/friends know im not having a funeral.
im an organ donor, and when they've taken what they can, my body is going to medical science.
so in lieu of a funeral, there shall just be a party held, everyone wearing the brightest colours they can find, no tears allowed, with all the best music (mix between the cringiest of cheeeeesey pop, to the heaviest of edm ), and my mam and dad doing the food.. Buffet and Bbq style. Because our parties are legendary, and their food is the best. And no doubt they're regail all the most embarrassing stories of my crazy little life, and everyone will roar with laughter and how silly and wonderful our memories have been.
Sending you lots of love.
Px "
Sounds brilliant, and thankyou |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope....Not doing it, not putting my kids through that.
Want to go off quietly and alone while my boys celebrate my life and surround themselves with love from people who matter |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
For all I care my descendants can put me in a bin bag and take me down the tip, I'm really not fussed about any kind of ceremony...
...with the money saved though I'd like a big bash for family and friends with music, laughter, and not a single mention of me |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
OP. It's the first I've heard of this, sorry to hear!
My experience of funerals has usually been in the more traditional style, with everyone in Black & a formal service.
But 2 others stood out with their own style. One was a friend of mine, who was Nuts about the Disney Character - Tigger.
The funeral black hearse & cars had had orange striping placed to resemble a Tiger's coat; all mourners had to wear some Orange or Tigger branded item of clothing or failing that, some item of Disney clothing.
Her coffin entered the church to the tune of "The wonderful thing about Tigger!", all flowers had to have an Orange base colour, and all eulogies had to include as much humour as possible.
She would've approved!!
The second was my Father's, he being someone who didn't like the all "that mumbo jumbo at funerals!"
He loved his Ballroom Dancing, so many of the mourners were dancing partners or from dancing groups, and as the musical choices were mainly dance tracks, we ended up with many dancing in the aisles of the Crematorium!
My brother and I ensured there were comical touches too; the Crematorium staff said afterwards that they'd never witnessed such a happy funeral and send off for a loved one!
OP. It comes down to choice, deal with it the way you wish. There's no right or wrong way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have told my kids I dont want a funeral . Nobody to be there . And to do it as cheap as possible.
Just have a pint and think about me . I rather my kids have my insurance money . |
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OP I'm sorry for your loss
Going through the arrangements for my dad was stressful enough and he'd left instructions about the things that were important to him.
I've had good conversations with my nearest and dearest about what I want and what I don't. I've also made it clear that aside from the stipulations I've made, everything else is up to them and whatever makes them feel better is completely fine by me. There will be enough money in my estate to pay for whatever they choose. |
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My ashes are to be scattered. I don't want my kids to feel guilty if they don't visit my grave or worry about it's upkeep.
Just as long as they hold me in their hearts it's works for me.
I want laughter. I want them to regale stories of mishaps, fun times...and remember me with love. |
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I’ve been thinking about this a lot since T got ill a few years ago but shamefully admit I’ve done nothing about it.
I want a cremation, T wants to be buried. I’m happy for an eco friendly/cardboard coffin & family flowers only. Donations to Macmillan as a thank you for the help they gave T. Then a happy party with lots of gin, prosecco & cake. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I think it’s right that those mourning get to say goodbye in a respectful way but other than that it’s a bit of a scam , old people saving thousands for polished wood that gets burned up and funny old cars and people in weird clothes. Put me in cardboard, burn me up, share a few funny stories and have a d*unken naked head bang to Metallica to remember me |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
My youngest brother died suddenly in April, so this has been something I’ve thought about a lot recently. He didn’t die in the UK and at the height of lockdown, we weren’t able to attend his funeral as where he lived had closed their borders and we decided we didn’t want him in storage for months on end. So the bit we are looking after is a bloody big party to celebrate what a bloody brilliant human he was when we can all be together properly.
As for me, I will put a few simple wishes in place (humanist service, wake somewhere that serves decent gins), because having gone through this recently, I think it helps the bereaved if can they feel they are doing what their loved one wanted. He’d just turned 42 and wasn’t ill, so it’s not a discussion we’d ever had. |
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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago
Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands |
Just a Transit van ride from undertakers to crematorium, private cremation, scatter ashes to the wind.
No hearse, no service, no fuss.
All friends and family are aware and will respect my wishes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry for your loss OP
I want it to feel like me, I think that would be helpful for my friends and family. I don't want loads of sad songs and tears, I want people to share stories and laugh about happy memories (even if they're laughing through the years).
My husband's cousin lost his wife a couple of years ago (they're a very close family) and the memorial they held for her was perfect - everyone in bright colours, sharing stories about how they met her, laughing about shared memories. It was still sad and nobody pretended it wasn't, but it wasn't really morbid. |
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"Sorry for your loss OP
I want it to feel like me, I think that would be helpful for my friends and family. I don't want loads of sad songs and tears, I want people to share stories and laugh about happy memories (even if they're laughing through the years).
My husband's cousin lost his wife a couple of years ago (they're a very close family) and the memorial they held for her was perfect - everyone in bright colours, sharing stories about how they met her, laughing about shared memories. It was still sad and nobody pretended it wasn't, but it wasn't really morbid."
Thankyou x .
I think next weeks funeral will be similar to this |
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"I want a white wicker coffin but only my son and daughter to attend. No cars and only sunflowers on the coffin."
Forgot to say i would also like my dogs to be there and Led Zeppelins The Battle of Evermore played. |
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