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Where am I going wrong
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"Even when messaging ppl though I send pics not like I’m shy just don’t want them public I know what you mean though "
With no pics and nothing on your profile, we wouldn't even read the message. Screams something to hide.
I know it's an ABSOLUTE shocker, but did you know some people have the audacity to pretend to be someone they're not on here. Different size, different sexual orientation and EVEN different sex! Absolute fudging shocker! 
.
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Yes, I've got my mardy, sarcastic head on this morning.
Lack of sleep. |
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"Even when messaging ppl though I send pics not like I’m shy just don’t want them public I know what you mean though "
I wouldn't even open your message. If I even checked your profile it wouldn't be enough to raise my curiosity. Sorry |
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By *asha86Couple
over a year ago
walsall |
"You've got no avatar and no public pictures. They generally help. "
Exactly this...you could try uploading a few pics without face included so people can see what you're like and save face pics for inbox messages. Its about the best way of showing yourself. xT |
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"Even when messaging ppl though I send pics not like I’m shy just don’t want them public I know what you mean though
I wouldn't even open your message. If I even checked your profile it wouldn't be enough to raise my curiosity. Sorry "
exactly. Hate getting messages from people, who have no pics or verification. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Often when people say they're not finding the site meets their expectations in terms of meeting people or even getting replies to messages OP it comes down to one, some or all of five things, so take a look at these and see what you could change:
Profile - is it well written and designed to pique interest and grab the attention of anyone that looks at it, telling them a little about you, what you are looking for, and what you think you can offer? Or is it another generic two liner that doesn't help you stand out from a very big crowd? Does your status say a lot about you and the type of person you are?
Pictures - do you have a good selection designed to tease and attract without being just a series of cock pics?
Expectations - are they set correctly? Do you expect to get replies to all your messages and meets every week? Or do you accept that you'll be attracted/attractive to probably less than 5% of the people you approach and therefore that the potential for meets is minimal, all the time recognising that you are just one of thousands of single men on the site and outnumber women by around 10 to 1.
Attitude - is it set correctly? Do you try and stay positive, be respectful and considerate and, tieing in with expectations, accept that you won't be for everyone but keep the attitude towards all correct?
Approach - have you found the right one for you? Is just sending endless "blind" messages the best approach? Or are there other ways such as getting more involved in the forums or chat rooms, or even (when they are running again) attending group socials and clubs? When you do send messages are they the right kind of message designed to appeal to the recipient or are they generic copy and paste messages that go straight to wanting to meet?
Consider the above and more and make any changes you think necessary and it won't guarantee a thing, but it will improve your experience and perception of the site. |
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"Often when people say they're not finding the site meets their expectations in terms of meeting people or even getting replies to messages OP it comes down to one, some or all of five things, so take a look at these and see what you could change:
Profile - is it well written and designed to pique interest and grab the attention of anyone that looks at it, telling them a little about you, what you are looking for, and what you think you can offer? Or is it another generic two liner that doesn't help you stand out from a very big crowd? Does your status say a lot about you and the type of person you are?
Pictures - do you have a good selection designed to tease and attract without being just a series of cock pics?
Expectations - are they set correctly? Do you expect to get replies to all your messages and meets every week? Or do you accept that you'll be attracted/attractive to probably less than 5% of the people you approach and therefore that the potential for meets is minimal, all the time recognising that you are just one of thousands of single men on the site and outnumber women by around 10 to 1.
Attitude - is it set correctly? Do you try and stay positive, be respectful and considerate and, tieing in with expectations, accept that you won't be for everyone but keep the attitude towards all correct?
Approach - have you found the right one for you? Is just sending endless "blind" messages the best approach? Or are there other ways such as getting more involved in the forums or chat rooms, or even (when they are running again) attending group socials and clubs? When you do send messages are they the right kind of message designed to appeal to the recipient or are they generic copy and paste messages that go straight to wanting to meet?
Consider the above and more and make any changes you think necessary and it won't guarantee a thing, but it will improve your experience and perception of the site."
This.
To a tee!
If we could just pin this at the top of all these threads, that would be great!  |
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"Even when messaging ppl though I send pics not like I’m shy just don’t want them public I know what you mean though "
What pics do you send? Tasteful pics or do you go straight to the meat and two veg shot? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s a name shouldn’t judge a book by the cover lol  "
I'm unlikely to pick chicken licken off the book shelf when I'm looking for an adult crime thriller...... |
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"It’s a name shouldn’t judge a book by the cover lol "
I don't, but what I do have is instant turn offs and if someone can't work out how giving themselves a user name which incidates any or all of the following
A) they were bored when they joined
B) they come here when they're bored and sees me and others here as less of humans, but more of a distraction
C) they're gonna be hard work as they get bored easily, so much so they name themselves that
Then I'm not gonna apologise for saying that a person who lacks that self awareness and foresight is in fact a cover I'll skip past.
And then, when against my better judgement I look at the profile.... well, it doesn't scream excitement. Pulling teeth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thing is I get loads on pof and tinder just nothing here and pod name was bored as well lol "
Maybe stick to pof & tinder then, if you can't be bothered to make an effort on here ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s a name shouldn’t judge a book by the cover lol
I don't, but what I do have is instant turn offs and if someone can't work out how giving themselves a user name which incidates any or all of the following
A) they were bored when they joined
B) they come here when they're bored and sees me and others here as less of humans, but more of a distraction
C) they're gonna be hard work as they get bored easily, so much so they name themselves that
Then I'm not gonna apologise for saying that a person who lacks that self awareness and foresight is in fact a cover I'll skip past.
And then, when against my better judgement I look at the profile.... well, it doesn't scream excitement. Pulling teeth."
What she said ^ |
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"No waiting for fresh faces on it to be honest "
So what does that tell us?
That you get bored easily and move from one to another very very quickly, cos getting through the entire of the other sites must mean you either fuck n run or don't meet that often due to lack of compatibility/connection.
Maybe you're better off meeting in clubs where there isn't as much need to build conversation |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Thing is I get loads on pof and tinder just nothing here and pod name was bored as well lol "
Do you use the same approach on here as you do on there? Do you have a better profile on there? Is your attitude different to women on there compared to here?
In the post I've quoted are you using 'loads' meaning sex? |
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"Thing is I get loads on pof and tinder just nothing here and pod name was bored as well lol
Maybe stick to pof & tinder then, if you can't be bothered to make an effort on here !"
I have to agree wholeheartedly with the effort thing. You are putting across the impression that you're lazy.
If you can't be arsed to make the effort to impress or show people what you can bring to the table/offer them/the kind of experience they'll have when they meet you, well then why should people make the effort to do all the work and find out?
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Often when people say they're not finding the site meets their expectations in terms of meeting people or even getting replies to messages OP it comes down to one, some or all of five things, so take a look at these and see what you could change:
Profile - is it well written and designed to pique interest and grab the attention of anyone that looks at it, telling them a little about you, what you are looking for, and what you think you can offer? Or is it another generic two liner that doesn't help you stand out from a very big crowd? Does your status say a lot about you and the type of person you are?
Pictures - do you have a good selection designed to tease and attract without being just a series of cock pics?
Expectations - are they set correctly? Do you expect to get replies to all your messages and meets every week? Or do you accept that you'll be attracted/attractive to probably less than 5% of the people you approach and therefore that the potential for meets is minimal, all the time recognising that you are just one of thousands of single men on the site and outnumber women by around 10 to 1.
Attitude - is it set correctly? Do you try and stay positive, be respectful and considerate and, tieing in with expectations, accept that you won't be for everyone but keep the attitude towards all correct?
Approach - have you found the right one for you? Is just sending endless "blind" messages the best approach? Or are there other ways such as getting more involved in the forums or chat rooms, or even (when they are running again) attending group socials and clubs? When you do send messages are they the right kind of message designed to appeal to the recipient or are they generic copy and paste messages that go straight to wanting to meet?
Consider the above and more and make any changes you think necessary and it won't guarantee a thing, but it will improve your experience and perception of the site."
Just in case you missed it first time round OP (and I think you might have) just re-quoting myself not because I'm up myself (tried that and it won't reach  ) but because I think you'll find it relevant
Oh and if you use the reply and quote button when replying people will know who you're replying to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having had a message from you before, as well as a change in username and photos, it might be good to consider how you approach people too. Make sure you read profiles in full and send a message that shows you've paid attention and tell the other person what you think you have in common, or why you'd be a good match. Don't just send copy pasted, or generic boring messages with a few photos of yourself attached. |
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It all depends what your expecting off Fab o/p. You have probably heard before but single guys greatly outnumber the women and couples on Fab. You profile needs to start out, like everything in life you get out what you put in. Maybe try describe yourself a bit on your profile, add few pictures to public. It is a awkward time at moment with Covid situation but hopefully when back open and running again worth checking out the organised social events that happen all over country. Clubs be worth looking into as well. Just remember swinging isn’t all about sex tho. Keep chin up and sure will happen if you take on what people have advised on this post |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
Profiles are two a penny on FAB and easily overlooked unless you make it stand out enough to be noticed e.g. pics or a humorous interesting profile or idyllically both..
You get back what you put in like anything in life.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you look at most people's public pics they don't give their identity away, no reason you can't do the same. Username is also very uninspiring. "
Username definitely goes some way towards standing out in peoples minds. Mine was a toss up between this or Bourbon Freeman  |
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"If you look at most people's public pics they don't give their identity away, no reason you can't do the same. Username is also very uninspiring.
Username definitely goes some way towards standing out in peoples minds. Mine was a toss up between this or Bourbon Freeman "
Both excellent choices!
However OPs bored... cos wow. Women want to be a boredom buster  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"If you look at most people's public pics they don't give their identity away, no reason you can't do the same. Username is also very uninspiring.
Username definitely goes some way towards standing out in peoples minds. Mine was a toss up between this or Bourbon Freeman "
Both eminently better than Jaffa-ry Archer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you look at most people's public pics they don't give their identity away, no reason you can't do the same. Username is also very uninspiring.
Username definitely goes some way towards standing out in peoples minds. Mine was a toss up between this or Bourbon Freeman
Both eminently better than Jaffa-ry Archer "
Haha, that's like crime in a multi storey carpark. Wrong on so many levels |
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"No waiting for fresh faces on it to be honest
So what does that tell us?
That you get bored easily and move from one to another very very quickly, cos getting through the entire of the other sites must mean you either fuck n run or don't meet that often due to lack of compatibility/connection.
Maybe you're better off meeting in clubs where there isn't as much need to build conversation "
.
Dating sites are diff girls want one guy I like to share |
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"No waiting for fresh faces on it to be honest
So what does that tell us?
That you get bored easily and move from one to another very very quickly, cos getting through the entire of the other sites must mean you either fuck n run or don't meet that often due to lack of compatibility/connection.
Maybe you're better off meeting in clubs where there isn't as much need to build conversation .
Dating sites are diff girls want one guy I like to share "
That’s such a generalisation. I’ve met loads of really open minded single girls from dating sites.
You’ve also got to understand this is a swinging site. It’s not really geared up for single pringles, especially not guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Put up some pictures of you unicycling. The amount of times I've read women on here yearn for some unicycling pictures...well, I've lost count.
"
Hell yeah. I love the way the balls squish so naturally on a unicycle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would jus be yourself,put a more optimistic profile on and be polite..Hardly makes much difference,i won’t go into specifics..Only listen to yourself..Women can give you advice,but they,as they say have all the reins,they don’t have to message people initially..Just be pleasant..Change your name from Bored To Red Hot.. Hope you do well my friend,don’t let them bring you down,smile and maybe everything shall come your way.. |
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