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Timewasters
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It’s difficult for me to figure out time wasters. People may like to do a little bit of a chat and then decide they don’t want to follow through with anything else. Are they time wasters? I don’t think so, everyone has the right to have a little look and then withdraw if they choose. I would not want to be bound into going the whole hog with someone after a quick chat lol. |
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"How many of you come across serious timewasters on this site? "
It depends what you mean by serious.
One evening we were going to a club and arranged with two other couples to see them there and neither showed. We still had a good night but we felt they were time-wasters. |
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"How many of you come across serious timewasters on this site? "
What is your definition of time wasters?
Most often you see single guys posting about time wasters and I can’t help but think about my inbox which is FULL of messages from single guys. Most of who start their message with ‘ Hey how’s you’ or ‘When we meeting’?
Often followed on with limp conversation that consists of one line each time. Now sometimes I’ll message a couple of times to see if I can bring someone out of their shell a little but sometimes it’s just the dullest conversation ever and I end up just never replying.
Maybe I’m a time waster or maybe it’s just because I’m a bit fussy about who I actually end up meeting.
Who knows! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many of you come across serious timewasters on this site?
What is your definition of time wasters?
Most often you see single guys posting about time wasters and I can’t help but think about my inbox which is FULL of messages from single guys. Most of who start their message with ‘ Hey how’s you’ or ‘When we meeting’?
Often followed on with limp conversation that consists of one line each time. Now sometimes I’ll message a couple of times to see if I can bring someone out of their shell a little but sometimes it’s just the dullest conversation ever and I end up just never replying.
Maybe I’m a time waster or maybe it’s just because I’m a bit fussy about who I actually end up meeting.
Who knows!"
Totally this. Time-wasting for me is arranging a meet and not showing up. If I take the time to look nice, travel to a place and make an effort to impress and they are a no show they are wasting my time. Chatting on site to get a feel for someone before you choose to meet them is just plain common sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Multiple profiles on the site concurrently.
I have recently had an experience of a fellow fab funster who I blocked for good reason only to contact me via another profile to say I had an ego problem.
The said person or persons are what I would call mainstream contributors.
Multiple profiles are a pain and for said fellow fab funsters to suggest I have an ego.........how dare they! |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I get grief because when I get a message from someone new I wi straight away say that I'm not meeting. For the ones that read my profile, this is no surprise. The ones that don't often get quite narky asking why I'm even on the site, I'm a waste of time etc etc. Personally I feel I've wasted my time politely replying to their message!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is our third time on here after two other short pelts and we were hit rather badly by fakes who indeed wasted our time and also upset my wife bless her.
Now approaching fab as we do we have no problem with them and they can waste as much time as they like because they no longer waste ours.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How is not replying to a message time wasting? That's the opposite! Some men would just want to shag after one message sent. Well that's not going to happen, is it... if you get a reply you should be happy, surely it's better than being deleted and blocked.
Messaging and socials are not a waste of time, it's to make sure that there's potential to have fun together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been here on/off for nearly a year. Respectful messages, no dick pics, reasonable profile and the whole thing is a waste of time. I am lucky if anyone even notices I have posted in a forum. There have been a total number of chats of...... One. Deluded hope is the only thing that keeps me here, well and the sexy pictures. Lol. |
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Last week I was called a Timewaster, I’d read a guys message looked at the pictures he sent and decided, not for me (plus I’m not meeting currently due to covid). Woke up the next morning to be called a timewaster and rude, he then proceeded to block me.
Personally I don’t think I’m a timewaster, met quite a few people off this site, but some guys when they’re frustrated will throw around any insult.  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As far as I am concerned the *only* type of time wasting that happens here is arranging a meet and not showing up - anything else (messages not being replied to etc) is *not* time wasting in the slightest.
Haven't once had my time wasted on here when it comes to meeting people - everyone I have arranged to meet has shown up on time and been exactly as they came across in their profile and messages.
I think the problem is that *some* men on the site, are so eager to get a meet, any meet, that they don't take the precautions necessary to guard against having their time wasted.
My advice to anyone that thinks their time is being wasted on here? Everything that glitters isn't gold, although it might be - but take your time, get to know people properly before meeting and have a reasonable level of confidence that they are who they say they are and are genuine in their intents before arranging to meet - hasn't failed me once. |
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Most people that you speak with will not meet you, as the probability of compatibility is very low. All of those that you start with but don't get to meet are not time wasters, when chat stops - that's just natural good filtering by all parties. It's successful to not meet the wrong people!
Perhaps 10% of conversion of chats to meets is an optimistic expectation.
Managing our own expectations is often the best and easiest thing that we can do, to improve our results. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This isn't about meets necessarily just a simple chat with someone I have selected based on looks, profile and the probability I would enjoy their company. To continually get blanked is rude. Of course not all my opening messages are witty, but they would never contain dick pics or explicit scenarios. Maybe a comical double entendre, plenty of open questions etc. Its my view that I am an anti social person based on this and my diabolical track record of inter personal relationships in general both online or in person. So what. It would just be nice to chat with desirable women to help me with my issues. I can't help being quirky and having issues, everyone has. But blanking me hurts me. Honest rant over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This isn't about meets necessarily just a simple chat with someone I have selected based on looks, profile and the probability I would enjoy their company. To continually get blanked is rude. Of course not all my opening messages are witty, but they would never contain dick pics or explicit scenarios. Maybe a comical double entendre, plenty of open questions etc. Its my view that I am an anti social person based on this and my diabolical track record of inter personal relationships in general both online or in person. So what. It would just be nice to chat with desirable women to help me with my issues. I can't help being quirky and having issues, everyone has. But blanking me hurts me. Honest rant over. "
You selected them based on looks and profile. Why won't you chat to everyone? Why select the ones you want to chat to? Does this mean you decide you don't want to chat to some people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as I am concerned the *only* type of time wasting that happens here is arranging a meet and not showing up - anything else (messages not being replied to etc) is *not* time wasting in the slightest.
Haven't once had my time wasted on here when it comes to meeting people - everyone I have arranged to meet has shown up on time and been exactly as they came across in their profile and messages.
I think the problem is that *some* men on the site, are so eager to get a meet, any meet, that they don't take the precautions necessary to guard against having their time wasted.
My advice to anyone that thinks their time is being wasted on here? Everything that glitters isn't gold, although it might be - but take your time, get to know people properly before meeting and have a reasonable level of confidence that they are who they say they are and are genuine in their intents before arranging to meet - hasn't failed me once."
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Time wasting is relative I guess. Depends on how much patience and/or spare time you are endowed with!
As a single, you can often expect:
1. Folks who swap messages all night but can’t pluck up the courage to go ahead
2. People who do as above, getting themselves gradually turned on from your pics they requested , the ‘fantasy’ of meeting up, then (usually late at night after a few drinks), they’ve got off themselves and gone offline.
3. People as in (1) who eventually go for the meet and a fine time is had by all!
Patience can pay off - last night was a no 3 !!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most ppl here, in my experience at least, are talking to more than one person about potentially meeting. And therefore when one loses favour in preference of another it could be seen as time wasting, or it could just be the way of life and maybe we've all done it to someone on here it elsewhere.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got called a time waster the other day because I hadn't opened a guy's first message - he sent just one, which frankly I didn't even see.
His second told me I was a time waster and he was going to block me. I was very upset to hear he blocked me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got called a time waster the other day because I hadn't opened a guy's first message - he sent just one, which frankly I didn't even see.
His second told me I was a time waster and he was going to block me. I was very upset to hear he blocked me "
How impolite of him. If you need a hug to get over the indignity, I will volunteer. |
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"How many of you come across serious timewasters on this site?
What criteria do you use to class folks as timewasters?"
For me it’s people that agree to meet you (normally a day but no specific time and place).
Those that genuinely have to cancel will offer an alternative day and time. The time wasters just scuttle away. |
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"It’s difficult for me to figure out time wasters. People may like to do a little bit of a chat and then decide they don’t want to follow through with anything else. Are they time wasters? I don’t think so, everyone has the right to have a little look and then withdraw if they choose. I would not want to be bound into going the whole hog with someone after a quick chat lol."
This exactly. But also, sometimes the connection just comes to an end, same as in real life. It’s not timewasting.
But those who apparently just talk the talk and fail to show up... they are timewasters. (Not from personal experience on here) |
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How do we know that they haven't actually had 5 parents die in 6 weeks on the days they're due to meet or that they weren't run over while saving a puppy or that their phone battery run flat so they couldn't say they can't make it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do we know that they haven't actually had 5 parents die in 6 weeks on the days they're due to meet or that they weren't run over while saving a puppy or that their phone battery run flat so they couldn't say they can't make it "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got called a time waster the other day because I hadn't opened a guy's first message - he sent just one, which frankly I didn't even see.
His second told me I was a time waster and he was going to block me. I was very upset to hear he blocked me
How impolite of him. If you need a hug to get over the indignity, I will volunteer. "
Lol how good of you xx |
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"As far as I am concerned the *only* type of time wasting that happens here is arranging a meet and not showing up - anything else (messages not being replied to etc) is *not* time wasting in the slightest.
Haven't once had my time wasted on here when it comes to meeting people - everyone I have arranged to meet has shown up on time and been exactly as they came across in their profile and messages.
I think the problem is that *some* men on the site, are so eager to get a meet, any meet, that they don't take the precautions necessary to guard against having their time wasted.
My advice to anyone that thinks their time is being wasted on here? Everything that glitters isn't gold, although it might be - but take your time, get to know people properly before meeting and have a reasonable level of confidence that they are who they say they are and are genuine in their intents before arranging to meet - hasn't failed me once."
Well said . |
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"This isn't about meets necessarily just a simple chat with someone I have selected based on looks, profile and the probability I would enjoy their company. To continually get blanked is rude. Of course not all my opening messages are witty, but they would never contain dick pics or explicit scenarios. Maybe a comical double entendre, plenty of open questions etc. Its my view that I am an anti social person based on this and my diabolical track record of inter personal relationships in general both online or in person. So what. It would just be nice to chat with desirable women to help me with my issues. I can't help being quirky and having issues, everyone has. But blanking me hurts me. Honest rant over. "
I think the important thing that you say is that you can be hurt by perceiving, or being, ignored. You can modify your expectations and interpretations of others but, essentially, if you will persistent likely to be hurt here, then it could be wise to take breaks, to help to preserve your well-beingm
People here, more than dating sites for example, have often priorities. Partners, family, jobs etc come before no strings partners.
Add in the complexity of the lockdown, serious health issues, people - "especially women - caring for vulnerable people, and most won't be rushing to develop a dialogue that leads to fast paced interaction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got called a time waster the other day because I hadn't opened a guy's first message - he sent just one, which frankly I didn't even see.
His second told me I was a time waster and he was going to block me. I was very upset to hear he blocked me "
I can imagine how devastated you were
Rescuing the hedgehog was definitely the right thing to do rather than opening their entitled message  |
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Years ago I was chatting to someone and thought I'd found a meet, luckily I was in wales through work and staying in a hotel anyway.
On the actual day she messaged to say she had broken her left wrist and couldn't make it.
Later in the day left became right and over the following days(I thought I'd have some fun and play along) the wrist became shoulder and the best bit was a couple of days later she had broke her leg 
I guess she was messaging a few guys and forgot what she had told each told the others.
She was probably a He anyway |
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here's one for ya.
I could have arranged a meet but on the day I'm totally not feeling it. Something inside me isn't into it, I'm distracted and know I'll be shit or awkward company.
In this case I'd let them know today isn't a good day with as much notice as possible.
Does that make me a timewaster for giving someone the opportunity to use their time doing something more productive than spending it with someone who's head wasn't in the game that day? I think letting someone drive possibly a very long way to meet with someone who didn't even want to get out of bed that day and really doesn't want to be there is pretty cruel as it goes.
In my head I'd be more inclined to think of a time waster as someone who possibly did turn up but wasn't there mentally, clearly obvious they didn't want to be there and only turned up because they felt they had no choice for fear of being labelled a time waster! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are in the middle of a pandemic so I'd say it's pretty difficult to arrange any meets at present but if people are stringing you along promising all sorts and not seeing it through then block, learn, move on and good luck |
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Everyone has a different definition of a timewaster.
Not responding to a message sent (as I was accused) I mean the guy spent time writing it.
Arranging a meet but then calling it off.
Arranging a meet and not turning up.
Turning up for a meet but refusing to take it any further than having a coffee.
Turning up and not partaking in what had been agreed in messages sent prior to the meet.
Turning up and not looking like your photos.
Etc....
It’s all time wasting in the end, even if you have a meet enjoy it ...you still wasted some time
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been left down twice this week time wasters are real!
We believed you the first time 
I had to say it again just in case I wasn’t clear enough  "
Can you repeat that, please? |
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"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many of you come across serious timewasters on this site? "
Multiple times a day, They come to me with their ideas and kinks but it never comes to anything.
I usually ignore them now |
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By *kiolo1Couple
over a year ago
Whitland |
"How many of you come across serious timewasters on this site?
What is your definition of time wasters?
Most often you see single guys posting about time wasters and I can’t help but think about my inbox which is FULL of messages from single guys. Most of who start their message with ‘ Hey how’s you’ or ‘When we meeting’?
Often followed on with limp conversation that consists of one line each time. Now sometimes I’ll message a couple of times to see if I can bring someone out of their shell a little but sometimes it’s just the dullest conversation ever and I end up just never replying.
Maybe I’m a time waster or maybe it’s just because I’m a bit fussy about who I actually end up meeting.
Who knows!"
I'm the same (Mrs). I don't think that's being a time waster. The time wasters are the ones that don't reply as specified in our profile. If it's like pulling teeth to get a face pic, I'm bored and moving on. |
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