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Concerning.....more and more
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have noticed a concerning trend in women aged 18 to 29 on the site, more and more ladies are requesting forced sex fantasy.
Is it me, or do other people have issues with this? Or am i just being a prude so to speak? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one has ever said they want this fantasy to me  feel left out now. I could be perfect for this role
Since I fall outside the age bracket of OPs concern...  "
What you sayin |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its a fantasy... If you have an issue with someone's fantasy then I guess they aren't the person for you nor is it any of your concern really"
You're right, but i was just asking if its a worrying trend? Or if anyone actually takes this up? It leaves people open to all sorts of vulnerabilities, and does it not detract from the serious nature of the action?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cannot say I have seen this so probably guys posing as women.
Even if it wasnt, fantasy and reality are poles apart.
Setting up fantasy forced sex is not that at all is....because the woman has consented, and that is the ONLY thing that would make it a bit of kinkery and not reality.
I wouldnt concern yourself with it  |
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"Its a fantasy... If you have an issue with someone's fantasy then I guess they aren't the person for you nor is it any of your concern really
You're right, but i was just asking if its a worrying trend? Or if anyone actually takes this up? It leaves people open to all sorts of vulnerabilities, and does it not detract from the serious nature of the action?
"
I agree, I can see the situation where a guy ends up in court saying "..but she said she had a forced sex fantasy!"  |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
If you read into the psychology of it OP it's really interesting.
It's about control. So that kind of thing is many women's worst nightmare. By acting it out in a safe space with someone you trust you are in control. You have a safe word and you discuss the limitations beforehand.
It's a little bit like the arachnophobic putting a spider on their hand. You're exposing yourself to something potentially scary but you control it. |
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"Its a fantasy... If you have an issue with someone's fantasy then I guess they aren't the person for you nor is it any of your concern really
You're right, but i was just asking if its a worrying trend? Or if anyone actually takes this up? It leaves people open to all sorts of vulnerabilities, and does it not detract from the serious nature of the action?
"
Its the kind of fantasy you would do with a trusted partner, if they are looking to participate with ransoms they don't know then I agree its worrying but that's their choice & again no ones concern but theirs. I would just steer clear of such people myself.
Everything goes through trends not just fantasies. Is it a trend or are people just more open & forthcoming about what they like? Who's to say.
I would happily partake in this scenario as well as lots of others that probably arent talked about so much, but it would be with someone I know & trust not some random guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It something you do with someone you trust completely, and you know without a doubt that you are safe.
It can be used as a form of therapy, because people can recreate something, in a safe environment, and have control |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ohhh I love this kind of sex, but I'm a old bird at 40 
"
I better be a bit clearer on this..... ONLY with my husband, I would never participate in this with anyone else.
Just clearing that up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I guess, just the R word and the phrase 'will you R me' concerned me a little.
The question is, if a man agreed to this, took part and the woman reported them to the police, where would they stand?
Just for discussion, im just curious, and wondered if other people felt the same, clearly not hahaha |
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"I guess, just the R word and the phrase 'will you R me' concerned me a little.
The question is, if a man agreed to this, took part and the woman reported them to the police, where would they stand?
Just for discussion, im just curious, and wondered if other people felt the same, clearly not hahaha"
Exactly my point. If the guy said "..she was asking for it m'lud! What would people think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have noticed a concerning trend in women aged 18 to 29 on the site, more and more ladies are requesting forced sex fantasy.
Is it me, or do other people have issues with this? Or am i just being a prude so to speak?"
I'm fairly sure those are blokes who are bored in lockdown, looking for some wank fodder |
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"I have noticed a concerning trend in women aged 18 to 29 on the site, more and more ladies are requesting forced sex fantasy.
Is it me, or do other people have issues with this? Or am i just being a prude so to speak?"
There is someone near to me both single and couple profile that have this as a fantasy, it's a bizarre one for me that isnt for me it each to their own. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you read into the psychology of it OP it's really interesting.
It's about control. So that kind of thing is many women's worst nightmare. By acting it out in a safe space with someone you trust you are in control. You have a safe word and you discuss the limitations beforehand.
It's a little bit like the arachnophobic putting a spider on their hand. You're exposing yourself to something potentially scary but you control it."
I can see how being in control of being exposed to spiders might help an arachnophobe
But not how the other scenario might help if someone is exposed to that in real life |
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"I have noticed a concerning trend in women aged 18 to 29 on the site, more and more ladies are requesting forced sex fantasy.
Is it me, or do other people have issues with this? Or am i just being a prude so to speak?
I'm fairly sure those are blokes who are bored in lockdown, looking for some wank fodder"
My thoughts exacty |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand "
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!  |
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Reality of its existance cannot be argued - for some it will be their kink. I (him) am a bit edgy about this one. Consent is all well and good, but the level required for this is probably a lot higher than most more ritualised BDSM - where consent and roles are donned with clothing and equipment.
Women not being believed and men being accused are very real concerns. It also sexualises a situation where fundamentally it is the violence and LACK of consent that drives the gratification. The subs power really has to be removed for the role play to near actuality. At which point - what of consent? When the first court case comes up and you test the consent, or worse where a party is accused in a scenario where no consent is visible, the previous playing becomes a weapon for the defence or the prosecution.
Easy to say - not your kink? move on - but when a play has the power to polarise and affect real world outcomes you have to consider where you stand on it. This might be self-censorship, but dismiss it as an issue as personal choice and the Daily Mail world will be lobbying and use it as a leaping off point further into personal sexual freedom. And probably win.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The question is, if a man agreed to this, took part and the woman reported them to the police, where would they stand?
Just for discussion, im just curious, and wondered if other people felt the same, clearly not hahaha"
It's not something that interests me, but this is what also puts me off. Even if you agree that it's consensual at the beginning, that doesn't mean you're not going to get in shit if she changes her mind on that later or something goes 'wrong'. |
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I don’t think it’s any different to other kinds of sex, in fact it really just highlights the consent that should happen with even a totally vanilla sex life.
What will happen (approximately or very specifically, depending) is discussed beforehand and if one person wants to pause or stop, it happens.
Doesn’t matter if you’re doing missionary with the light off or a BDSM dungeon with 10 people.
I’ve no idea of the figures but I bet far more sexual assaults happen with conventional sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love CNC and its something I do fairly often with my husband. Speaking as a survivor of sexual abuse, I don't see the issue if its done within boundaries between consenting adults. |
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"Reality of its existance cannot be argued - for some it will be their kink. I (him) am a bit edgy about this one. Consent is all well and good, but the level required for this is probably a lot higher than most more ritualised BDSM - where consent and roles are donned with clothing and equipment.
Women not being believed and men being accused are very real concerns. It also sexualises a situation where fundamentally it is the violence and LACK of consent that drives the gratification. The subs power really has to be removed for the role play to near actuality. At which point - what of consent? When the first court case comes up and you test the consent, or worse where a party is accused in a scenario where no consent is visible, the previous playing becomes a weapon for the defence or the prosecution.
Easy to say - not your kink? move on - but when a play has the power to polarise and affect real world outcomes you have to consider where you stand on it. This might be self-censorship, but dismiss it as an issue as personal choice and the Daily Mail world will be lobbying and use it as a leaping off point further into personal sexual freedom. And probably win.
"
Well said! |
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"I've always wanted to try this fantasy and have asked guys in the past on here.
None wanted to take it up which I can fully understand.
"
I have a friend I know would help me do this if I wanted. He knows me incredibly well, is very well versed in consent (safe, sane, consensual), and I'd trust him with my life.
I wouldn't do it without him by my side. |
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It's a hard thing, can see both points if view on this thread. But for me personally as a victim of sexual abuse CNC with M was catharic for me. But it was something we'd discussed for a while before we actually did it. And put measures in place in case it went wrong. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence! "
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding? |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?"
Yeah I suspect given R v Brown that this wouldn't get far as a defence. |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
Yeah I suspect given R v Brown that this wouldn't get far as a defence."
What about an innocent guy who used it for his defence? |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
Yeah I suspect given R v Brown that this wouldn't get far as a defence.
What about an innocent guy who used it for his defence? "
I should have added ".in a forced sex fantasy that went wrong" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have noticed a concerning trend in women aged 18 to 29 on the site, more and more ladies are requesting forced sex fantasy.
Is it me, or do other people have issues with this? Or am i just being a prude so to speak?"
How long has this 'trend' been going on OP? You've been here a matter of weeks
And 18-29 yr old women?? How many of those are there on here?
Are you sure they are women's profiles? |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
Yeah I suspect given R v Brown that this wouldn't get far as a defence.
What about an innocent guy who used it for his defence? "
The law isn't likely to be a great deal of help  |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
Yeah I suspect given R v Brown that this wouldn't get far as a defence.
What about an innocent guy who used it for his defence?
I should have added ".in a forced sex fantasy that went wrong""
Then I think you have to accept actions have consequences. If someone is injured or even worse loses their life you are not innocent, a lack of intent does not make for a lack of responsibility and blame |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
Yeah I suspect given R v Brown that this wouldn't get far as a defence.
What about an innocent guy who used it for his defence?
I should have added ".in a forced sex fantasy that went wrong"
Then I think you have to accept actions have consequences. If someone is injured or even worse loses their life you are not innocent, a lack of intent does not make for a lack of responsibility and blame "
Yeah. After a certain point consent is not a defence to injury.
If it's not about injury then it's a risk you need to decide if you'll take. |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
Yeah I suspect given R v Brown that this wouldn't get far as a defence.
What about an innocent guy who used it for his defence?
I should have added ".in a forced sex fantasy that went wrong"
Then I think you have to accept actions have consequences. If someone is injured or even worse loses their life you are not innocent, a lack of intent does not make for a lack of responsibility and blame "
I was thinking more of the woman making a malacious accusation! |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
Yeah I suspect given R v Brown that this wouldn't get far as a defence.
What about an innocent guy who used it for his defence?
I should have added ".in a forced sex fantasy that went wrong"
Then I think you have to accept actions have consequences. If someone is injured or even worse loses their life you are not innocent, a lack of intent does not make for a lack of responsibility and blame
I was thinking more of the woman making a malacious accusation!"
That's where trust and negotiation come on to it though. Again, personal responsibility. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Reality of its existance cannot be argued - for some it will be their kink. I (him) am a bit edgy about this one. Consent is all well and good, but the level required for this is probably a lot higher than most more ritualised BDSM - where consent and roles are donned with clothing and equipment.
Women not being believed and men being accused are very real concerns. It also sexualises a situation where fundamentally it is the violence and LACK of consent that drives the gratification. The subs power really has to be removed for the role play to near actuality. At which point - what of consent? When the first court case comes up and you test the consent, or worse where a party is accused in a scenario where no consent is visible, the previous playing becomes a weapon for the defence or the prosecution.
Easy to say - not your kink? move on - but when a play has the power to polarise and affect real world outcomes you have to consider where you stand on it. This might be self-censorship, but dismiss it as an issue as personal choice and the Daily Mail world will be lobbying and use it as a leaping off point further into personal sexual freedom. And probably win.
"
There’s no lack of consent. The safe words are still there and can be used. Plus, if this is carried out with a trusted partner, they know you, they can read you, so they will be aware if it’s not right |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have noticed a concerning trend in women aged 18 to 29 on the site, more and more ladies are requesting forced sex fantasy.
Is it me, or do other people have issues with this? Or am i just being a prude so to speak?
How long has this 'trend' been going on OP? You've been here a matter of weeks
And 18-29 yr old women?? How many of those are there on here?
Are you sure they are women's profiles?"
I may have been here a few weeks, but this is not my first rodeo on the site.
Who knows if they are men in a dark room surrounded by tissues, or a lady, but so far i have seen people in the age bracket asking to be bundled into a van and R by a gang of people, a person after 1 message asking to be R, one woman asking to be R after a night out on her way home.
Basically what i was trying to ask was is it a worrying sign of our society that people are asking for a fantasy from a stranger that is a real crime with life long consequences if it goes wrong on both subjects? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not really noticed that it's a trend. But I am one of those women in that age range that does like the idea of being forced. I am aware I enjoy being dominated and controlled, even if I fight back to test the control, it's is a kink I guess.
The thought of a really hot stranger forcing me is nice, but in reality its more like a fantasy. Being forced by those I trust is okay with a safe word, but that's really consent anyway.
I also like the idea of a group of strange men using me one after the other while I have no idea who they are/were. In reality I'd only do this in a club/safe environment, I wouldn't just bend over on the pavement at closing time and hope for the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have noticed a concerning trend in women aged 18 to 29 on the site, more and more ladies are requesting forced sex fantasy.
Is it me, or do other people have issues with this? Or am i just being a prude so to speak?
How long has this 'trend' been going on OP? You've been here a matter of weeks
And 18-29 yr old women?? How many of those are there on here?
Are you sure they are women's profiles?
I may have been here a few weeks, but this is not my first rodeo on the site.
Who knows if they are men in a dark room surrounded by tissues, or a lady, but so far i have seen people in the age bracket asking to be bundled into a van and R by a gang of people, a person after 1 message asking to be R, one woman asking to be R after a night out on her way home.
Basically what i was trying to ask was is it a worrying sign of our society that people are asking for a fantasy from a stranger that is a real crime with life long consequences if it goes wrong on both subjects?"
Hmmmm |
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"I don’t think it’s any different to other kinds of sex, in fact it really just highlights the consent that should happen with even a totally vanilla sex life.
What will happen (approximately or very specifically, depending) is discussed beforehand and if one person wants to pause or stop, it happens.
Doesn’t matter if you’re doing missionary with the light off or a BDSM dungeon with 10 people.
I’ve no idea of the figures but I bet far more sexual assaults happen with conventional sex "
So much this!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have noticed a concerning trend in women aged 18 to 29 on the site, more and more ladies are requesting forced sex fantasy.
Is it me, or do other people have issues with this? Or am i just being a prude so to speak?
How long has this 'trend' been going on OP? You've been here a matter of weeks
And 18-29 yr old women?? How many of those are there on here?
Are you sure they are women's profiles?
I may have been here a few weeks, but this is not my first rodeo on the site.
Who knows if they are men in a dark room surrounded by tissues, or a lady, but so far i have seen people in the age bracket asking to be bundled into a van and R by a gang of people, a person after 1 message asking to be R, one woman asking to be R after a night out on her way home.
Basically what i was trying to ask was is it a worrying sign of our society that people are asking for a fantasy from a stranger that is a real crime with life long consequences if it goes wrong on both subjects?"
It's probably more of a worry if a man responds to offer carrying out those fantasies |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?"
As our laws currently stand, you cannot consent to assault. Therefore many BDSM activities are technically illegal, regardless of consent. I can send links to recordings of workshops about BDSM and the law if anyone is interested. |
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"I've not really noticed that it's a trend. But I am one of those women in that age range that does like the idea of being forced. I am aware I enjoy being dominated and controlled, even if I fight back to test the control, it's is a kink I guess.
The thought of a really hot stranger forcing me is nice, but in reality its more like a fantasy. Being forced by those I trust is okay with a safe word, but that's really consent anyway.
I also like the idea of a group of strange men using me one after the other while I have no idea who they are/were. In reality I'd only do this in a club/safe environment, I wouldn't just bend over on the pavement at closing time and hope for the best."
I'd say I'm pretty similar to you. Those things are hot in fantasy but in reality, CNC is something I would only do with someone I knew and trusted very well.
I'm also definitely a woman last time I checked  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
As our laws currently stand, you cannot consent to assault. Therefore many BDSM activities are technically illegal, regardless of consent. I can send links to recordings of workshops about BDSM and the law if anyone is interested. "
Really??? Martial arts, combat sports, military training, self defense training... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not really noticed that it's a trend. But I am one of those women in that age range that does like the idea of being forced. I am aware I enjoy being dominated and controlled, even if I fight back to test the control, it's is a kink I guess.
The thought of a really hot stranger forcing me is nice, but in reality its more like a fantasy. Being forced by those I trust is okay with a safe word, but that's really consent anyway.
I also like the idea of a group of strange men using me one after the other while I have no idea who they are/were. In reality I'd only do this in a club/safe environment, I wouldn't just bend over on the pavement at closing time and hope for the best.
I'd say I'm pretty similar to you. Those things are hot in fantasy but in reality, CNC is something I would only do with someone I knew and trusted very well.
I'm also definitely a woman last time I checked ."
Yeah, the thought is nice if I'm really attracted to the person. But it is weird to desire the R word, so I certainly understand others being confused and concerned! If it actually happened to me I'm 95% sure I'd be devastated and traumatised. But the thought still appeals when in that mood. |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
As our laws currently stand, you cannot consent to assault. Therefore many BDSM activities are technically illegal, regardless of consent. I can send links to recordings of workshops about BDSM and the law if anyone is interested.
Really??? Martial arts, combat sports, military training, self defense training..."
I agree,an Assault is a unwanted physical contact upon a person
so if they consent 1st it is not legally an assault |
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"Op your assuming? Why has everyoneIn 2020 got a opinion about something that is a assumption? Not based on facts?
Lighten up
I think you are assuming that, not based on facts!  "
Ok so “you’ve noticed a worrying trend of 18 -20 whatever’s age group on here”
I’d say that’s your assumption
|
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
As our laws currently stand, you cannot consent to assault. Therefore many BDSM activities are technically illegal, regardless of consent. I can send links to recordings of workshops about BDSM and the law if anyone is interested.
Really??? Martial arts, combat sports, military training, self defense training..."
I don't think they count those as the intent of the sport is to defend yourself from the attack. But if you consented to someone using martial arts to beat the shit out of you and sustained serious injuries, they can be prosecuted even if you 100% wanted it. People practicing unlicensed body modification have been prosecuted under the same laws. Even if the person consented and is totally happy with their body modification, the person who did it can still be prosecuted for assault. |
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"I've not really noticed that it's a trend. But I am one of those women in that age range that does like the idea of being forced. I am aware I enjoy being dominated and controlled, even if I fight back to test the control, it's is a kink I guess.
The thought of a really hot stranger forcing me is nice, but in reality its more like a fantasy. Being forced by those I trust is okay with a safe word, but that's really consent anyway.
I also like the idea of a group of strange men using me one after the other while I have no idea who they are/were. In reality I'd only do this in a club/safe environment, I wouldn't just bend over on the pavement at closing time and hope for the best.
I'd say I'm pretty similar to you. Those things are hot in fantasy but in reality, CNC is something I would only do with someone I knew and trusted very well.
I'm also definitely a woman last time I checked .
Yeah, the thought is nice if I'm really attracted to the person. But it is weird to desire the R word, so I certainly understand others being confused and concerned! If it actually happened to me I'm 95% sure I'd be devastated and traumatised. But the thought still appeals when in that mood."
I know many people, including myself who are victims of the reality that still have this fantasy. Not surprising really considering the vast numbers who are. The fantasy is totally different. It's the same as how people who do slave role play in BDSM don't actually agree with slavery. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do understand where you are coming from OP. I do think some people get this idea into their head without putting too much thought into what will happen when it comes down to living the fantasy out.
So, for example, I know lots of people are really enjoying the 365 days movie and then wanting to explore this kind of situation when it comes to sex. But it does become concerning when you're not properly discussing this with a partner and no boundaries are agreed on as it could easily get very messy if you've not given it much thought.
I don't see an issue with it other than that. I have this fantasy and love to tell my partner to just take me and use me forcefully as if it was r a p e, but the fantasy is so different to reality and very safe if you're making sure all areas are covered. |
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?
As our laws currently stand, you cannot consent to assault. Therefore many BDSM activities are technically illegal, regardless of consent. I can send links to recordings of workshops about BDSM and the law if anyone is interested.
Really??? Martial arts, combat sports, military training, self defense training..."
You can't consent to assault above a certain level without a certain excuse.
Sports (sort of), and particularly sports like boxing, are among those excuses (surgery is another). |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"I do understand where you are coming from OP. I do think some people get this idea into their head without putting too much thought into what will happen when it comes down to living the fantasy
So, for example, I know lots of people are really enjoying the 365 days movie and then wanting to explore this kind of situation when it comes to sex. But it does become concerning when you're not properly discussing this with a partner and no boundaries are agreed on as it could easily get very messy if you've not given it much thought.
"
This is the point to me. It's all about communication, I'd run a mile from anyone not willing to discuss at length boundaries, likewise anyone who was discussing very early on in a chat their thoughts who didn't appear to have thought it through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you read into the psychology of it OP it's really interesting.
It's about control. So that kind of thing is many women's worst nightmare. By acting it out in a safe space with someone you trust you are in control. You have a safe word and you discuss the limitations beforehand.
It's a little bit like the arachnophobic putting a spider on their hand. You're exposing yourself to something potentially scary but you control it."
However many men can't understand this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Consensual non-consent is a fairly common fantasy but i think one that naturally causes concern, with suitable negotiation it's safe but I'd avoid anyone who doesn't want to discuss at length beforehand
Sadly, as a "common fantasy", it allows abusers to use it as a defence!
Is that actually the case? Given that their are currently laws being drafted that effectively criminalise aspects of BDSM regardless of consent I'd argue the opposite is true.
And are people being acquited based on this defence? I'm not aware of any cases but would be interested to know if I'm wrong on that understanding?"
Rough sex defence has recently been banned Im sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see why some people find CNC a kink and fantasy. Is it for me, no not at all, I do not enjoy any form of sexual violence. As a survivor of domestic violence and sexual violence.
Do I think those who wish to engage in it should communicate very very clearly about boundaries and what is to be played out, most definitely. Because issues may arise where an argument is launched yes I agreed to this but not to that. Rem_mber concent can be withdraw at any time, and it must be abided by or you have entered the realm of no concent. So explicit concent would be needed to avoid any grey areas, at which point I'm not too sure how it's spontaneous or a fantasy when every I has been dotted and every T crossed, but each to their own I suppose. |
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