Someone contacts you, check their profile.. They look alright, you reply, exchange pleasantries then comes the third message... There we go already insinuating sex  there goes my interest running away.
Can folk not hold conversations that don't revolve around their genitals?
Ladies what turns you right off when guys message (aside from the usual bog standard dick pics)?
I am far from a prude but my mind needs stimulating first & those messages from randoms detailing what you want to do... Doesn't really have the effect you are hoping for.
There are some absolutely amazing guys on here however that sure do the men proud  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someone contacts you, check their profile.. They look alright, you reply, exchange pleasantries then comes the third message... There we go already insinuating sex there goes my interest running away.
Can folk not hold conversations that don't revolve around their genitals?
Ladies what turns you right off when guys message (aside from the usual bog standard dick pics)?
I am far from a prude but my mind needs stimulating first & those messages from randoms detailing what you want to do... Doesn't really have the effect you are hoping for.
There are some absolutely amazing guys on here however that sure do the men proud "
100%...surely there should always be an element of seduction and stimulation. I’ve never understood the dick pic mentality even as a profile picture. Say something about yourself with that first glimpse otherwise you just look like a bit of a dick  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is why I tend to chat, light flirting and see how it goes from there. Seems a winning formula and has lead to a few good friends and potentially very good encounters to come |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Speaking as a guy, I would personally find it very awkward to be sexual in that way with someone I hadn't already established a level of connection and chemistry with, and where things hadn't flowed that way naturally and mutually agreeably.
The way I see it is no different to how I'd approach any random stranger I might meet in the street and start chatting to, I wouldn't tell them what sexual things interested me.
I appreciate that this is a "sex site" so sex and sexuality are bound to be topics of interest, but all the same it doesn't immediately mean that everyone I talk to here wants to have sex with me or me them. |
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To be fair, the site brings people together who have a connection around sex and most people have at least one picture in their profile which is a bit sexual. Plenty have it in their status updates too; it’s kind of normalised.
I think this leads some having it uppermost in their mind rather than reading the conversation signs better.
Perhaps it’s also to do with the difficulty of having a conversation just via the written word rather than being able to see the facial response when people talk.
Hope things go better in future, reading the same kind of response to your messages all the time can really get you down! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'd add to the above that I actuallt find it quite boring and a complete turn off if there's not a connection with someone and sexting starts - especially if it's clumsy "I'm putting my cock in your pussy now" style with no imagination used |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The way I see it is no different to how I'd approach any random stranger I might meet in the street and start chatting to, I wouldn't tell them what sexual things interested me.
"
This.
I never initiate any sort of sex talk until the lady starts to make comments of such nature. Even then I'm not the full on graphic type. |
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"Ladies don’t end up a ranty twat like me with a stupid long profile, guys back up and let the ladies breathe and you’ll get happier responses "
My profile fluctuates, its been ranty, blunt & as negative as I can make it. Rarely do they read x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah, those “I’d bend you over and...” messaged drive me nuts, they’re assuming consent before establishing chemistry.
Good banter, humour and flirting is much more appreciated and attractive!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't mind too much to be honest, but I'm not looking to meet. But even if I was, this is a swinging website and with 20,000 members online most of the time it doesn't surprise me that sex comes into conversation quickly. But it definitely makes you appreciate the ones who take their time getting to know a little about what you're looking for first!
|
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By *erdyWoman
over a year ago
wiltshire |
"Someone contacts you, check their profile.. They look alright, you reply, exchange pleasantries then comes the third message... There we go already insinuating sex there goes my interest running away.
Can folk not hold conversations that don't revolve around their genitals?
Ladies what turns you right off when guys message (aside from the usual bog standard dick pics)?
I am far from a prude but my mind needs stimulating first & those messages from randoms detailing what you want to do... Doesn't really have the effect you are hoping for.
There are some absolutely amazing guys on here however that sure do the men proud "
Definitely this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someone contacts you, check their profile.. They look alright, you reply, exchange pleasantries then comes the third message... There we go already insinuating sex there goes my interest running away.
Can folk not hold conversations that don't revolve around their genitals?
Ladies what turns you right off when guys message (aside from the usual bog standard dick pics)?
I am far from a prude but my mind needs stimulating first & those messages from randoms detailing what you want to do... Doesn't really have the effect you are hoping for.
There are some absolutely amazing guys on here however that sure do the men proud "
Agree! |
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By *icknHMan
over a year ago
Ilfracombe |
I rarely get messages and chats are few and far between but I find that one of the more interesting things is in anticipating when a sexy message might be appreciated. Anything from a one-liner to a full page description of a scenario desired or experienced. The appreciative messages back are always welcomed, sometimes very sexy, and those for whom it’s not working just cut and paste ‘mmmmm’ while you wear out your finger tips haha ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals "
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same. |
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"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same. "
but its a sex site! That line gets me the most |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same.
but its a sex site! That line gets me the most "
So you’re not here just to facilitate my needs for free and when I want it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im afraid I can be a bit guilty of initiating the rude talk. It can feel like the elephant in the room so if I am the one who starts it, it can almost be a relief for them to know if wont faint dead away at talk of cocks  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Im afraid I can be a bit guilty of initiating the rude talk. It can feel like the elephant in the room so if I am the one who starts it, it can almost be a relief for them to know if wont faint dead away at talk of cocks "
Well that told me |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Someone contacts you, check their profile.. They look alright, you reply, exchange pleasantries then comes the third message... There we go already insinuating sex there goes my interest running away.
Can folk not hold conversations that don't revolve around their genitals?
Ladies what turns you right off when guys message (aside from the usual bog standard dick pics)?
I am far from a prude but my mind needs stimulating first & those messages from randoms detailing what you want to do... Doesn't really have the effect you are hoping for.
There are some absolutely amazing guys on here however that sure do the men proud "
I'll just flutter my eyes your way Op. That usually gets your attention  |
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"Im afraid I can be a bit guilty of initiating the rude talk. It can feel like the elephant in the room so if I am the one who starts it, it can almost be a relief for them to know if wont faint dead away at talk of cocks "
I'm guilty of initiating it too at times, I'm certainly no innocent lol |
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"Someone contacts you, check their profile.. They look alright, you reply, exchange pleasantries then comes the third message... There we go already insinuating sex there goes my interest running away.
Can folk not hold conversations that don't revolve around their genitals?
Ladies what turns you right off when guys message (aside from the usual bog standard dick pics)?
I am far from a prude but my mind needs stimulating first & those messages from randoms detailing what you want to do... Doesn't really have the effect you are hoping for.
There are some absolutely amazing guys on here however that sure do the men proud
I'll just flutter my eyes your way Op. That usually gets your attention "
Shhh Chill, don't let everyone know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Speaking as a guy, I would personally find it very awkward to be sexual in that way with someone I hadn't already established a level of connection and chemistry with, and where things hadn't flowed that way naturally and mutually agreeably.
The way I see it is no different to how I'd approach any random stranger I might meet in the street and start chatting to, I wouldn't tell them what sexual things interested me.
I appreciate that this is a "sex site" so sex and sexuality are bound to be topics of interest, but all the same it doesn't immediately mean that everyone I talk to here wants to have sex with me or me them."
100% I don't get the sexting with someone I haven't met and just sending me a dick pic or asking did I look at your dick pic. I can't tell from a photo of I want you to bend me over and fuck me.
Now if we have a social meet and had a wee kiss and than have a few days etc before we meet, no issue whatsoever us chatting about the fun we will have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can't do the sexting thing, it is a good filter though...If they scarper then they just want the quick fix, if they hang around to chat then they are happy to play the long game
|
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"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same.
but its a sex site! That line gets me the most
So you’re not here just to facilitate my needs for free and when I want it? "
Absolutely not, I'll let you facilitate mine & not bill you tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same.
but its a sex site! That line gets me the most
So you’re not here just to facilitate my needs for free and when I want it?
Absolutely not, I'll let you facilitate mine & not bill you tho "
Bollocks to that I’m not cheap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I hate it when guys, that know I am not attracted to them, flirt with me like they think I am, I really don't like how that sits with me... Especially guys that know they are nothing like the guys I might be interested in... Getting along with someone is not enough for me but they seem to think it will be eventually or something |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I very rarely will sext first and even then may only do so after enough familiarity has been established with that person. I can usually pick up if it's something they might enjoy even if they don't specifically mention it. Then there's the quality of the sexting; it can often be done with some double meanings without it be too crude or graphic. Women tend to appreciate some creativity...even with this activity |
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"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same.
but its a sex site! That line gets me the most
So you’re not here just to facilitate my needs for free and when I want it?
Absolutely not, I'll let you facilitate mine & not bill you tho
Bollocks to that I’m not cheap "
That's true, you're free tho right?! |
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"I very rarely will sext first and even then may only do so after enough familiarity has been established with that person. I can usually pick up if it's something they might enjoy even if they don't specifically mention it. Then there's the quality of the sexting; it can often be done with some double meanings without it be too crude or graphic. Women tend to appreciate some creativity...even with this activity "
You, Mr Chill don't have a crude bone in your body. A lot could be learnt from you & the other good respectful guys on here |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I very rarely will sext first and even then may only do so after enough familiarity has been established with that person. I can usually pick up if it's something they might enjoy even if they don't specifically mention it. Then there's the quality of the sexting; it can often be done with some double meanings without it be too crude or graphic. Women tend to appreciate some creativity...even with this activity
You, Mr Chill don't have a crude bone in your body. A lot could be learnt from you & the other good respectful guys on here "
I do have plenty of naughty ones though  |
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"I very rarely will sext first and even then may only do so after enough familiarity has been established with that person. I can usually pick up if it's something they might enjoy even if they don't specifically mention it. Then there's the quality of the sexting; it can often be done with some double meanings without it be too crude or graphic. Women tend to appreciate some creativity...even with this activity
You, Mr Chill don't have a crude bone in your body. A lot could be learnt from you & the other good respectful guys on here
I do have plenty of naughty ones though "
I wouldn't know, Its not like I walk around the club being a pervy little vouyeur |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I very rarely will sext first and even then may only do so after enough familiarity has been established with that person. I can usually pick up if it's something they might enjoy even if they don't specifically mention it. Then there's the quality of the sexting; it can often be done with some double meanings without it be too crude or graphic. Women tend to appreciate some creativity...even with this activity "
Totally this...it's actually quite possible to create a picture and arousal without descending into crudity...and usually a lot more stimulating a one too...
....you often see people asking here how to refer to women's genitals - my answer usually is you don't need to directly name them at all...you can create an essence of them without actually referring to them.
It's often said a picture paints a thousand words, well a thousand words can create a pretty vivid picture too if done right |
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"I very rarely will sext first and even then may only do so after enough familiarity has been established with that person. I can usually pick up if it's something they might enjoy even if they don't specifically mention it. Then there's the quality of the sexting; it can often be done with some double meanings without it be too crude or graphic. Women tend to appreciate some creativity...even with this activity
Totally this...it's actually quite possible to create a picture and arousal without descending into crudity...and usually a lot more stimulating a one too...
....you often see people asking here how to refer to women's genitals - my answer usually is you don't need to directly name them at all...you can create an essence of them without actually referring to them.
It's often said a picture paints a thousand words, well a thousand words can create a pretty vivid picture too if done right "
I hope there are some guys reading this & taking note! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same.
but its a sex site! That line gets me the most
So you’re not here just to facilitate my needs for free and when I want it?
Absolutely not, I'll let you facilitate mine & not bill you tho
Bollocks to that I’m not cheap
That's true, you're free tho right?! "
Depends on what you’re asking for x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not that I'm condoning his actions, but your profile doesn't exactly have much info to help inform conversation topics.
Anyhow, I am upfront with people I message that I'm looking for fun. That's what Fab is to me, whereas if I'm looking for good conversation and something more 'real' I would look at a dating app like Tinder. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Not that I'm condoning his actions, but your profile doesn't exactly have much info to help inform conversation topics.
Anyhow, I am upfront with people I message that I'm looking for fun. That's what Fab is to me, whereas if I'm looking for good conversation and something more 'real' I would look at a dating app like Tinder."
But that comes back to a thread earlier in the week and whether profile text is actually needed to stimulate a conversation with someone - it of course depends on your approach and how you use the site as an individual but personally whilst I might read someone's profile and occasionally may even refer to something on it, I tend to rely on being able to hold a conversation with someone without the need for prompts or a crib sheet, and if the conversation falters or fizzles out take it as a sign of incompatibility |
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"Not that I'm condoning his actions, but your profile doesn't exactly have much info to help inform conversation topics.
Anyhow, I am upfront with people I message that I'm looking for fun. That's what Fab is to me, whereas if I'm looking for good conversation and something more 'real' I would look at a dating app like Tinder."
Tried tinder, I think I'm a bit too x happy on there, it told me to try looking globally 
You are right, my profile is quite purposefully blank, it will be filled out again once clubs open & the world starts moving again. |
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"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same.
but its a sex site! That line gets me the most
So you’re not here just to facilitate my needs for free and when I want it?
Absolutely not, I'll let you facilitate mine & not bill you tho
Bollocks to that I’m not cheap
That's true, you're free tho right?!
Depends on what you’re asking for x"
Haha you know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I very rarely will sext first and even then may only do so after enough familiarity has been established with that person. I can usually pick up if it's something they might enjoy even if they don't specifically mention it. Then there's the quality of the sexting; it can often be done with some double meanings without it be too crude or graphic. Women tend to appreciate some creativity...even with this activity "
This is exactly it, a nice tactile flirt and getting to know one another leads to a lot better quality times later on. I don’t sext first, it’s also why there’s very little actual nudity on my profile. That comes later. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find it's getting less frequent that a good first message worth replying too drops in my inbox.
Maybe your filters ? Seeking Neanderthals
Sadly not, seems a lot of men on here these days seem to think women are free sex workers and I know a number of other women on here feel the same.
but its a sex site! That line gets me the most
So you’re not here just to facilitate my needs for free and when I want it?
Absolutely not, I'll let you facilitate mine & not bill you tho
Bollocks to that I’m not cheap
That's true, you're free tho right?!
Depends on what you’re asking for x
Haha you know "
May need reminding... it’s been a long day |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I very rarely will sext first and even then may only do so after enough familiarity has been established with that person. I can usually pick up if it's something they might enjoy even if they don't specifically mention it. Then there's the quality of the sexting; it can often be done with some double meanings without it be too crude or graphic. Women tend to appreciate some creativity...even with this activity
This is exactly it, a nice tactile flirt and getting to know one another leads to a lot better quality times later on. I don’t sext first, it’s also why there’s very little actual nudity on my profile. That comes later. "
Someone who also knows how to play the game |
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