FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Women do you view men with suspicious ?
Women do you view men with suspicious ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Before you can trust him that is, or do view every man with a clean slate until he proves otherwise, do you treat each man as an Individual Or do you view us as a collective unit ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Clean slate with an under the bed monster recall of previous experiences. You try and ignore it and know it’s not real but it’s still scary when things get a little bleak. "
So even though you view men with a clean slate at the back of your mind you’re thinking he can’t be trusted ? |
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"Clean slate with an under the bed monster recall of previous experiences. You try and ignore it and know it’s not real but it’s still scary when things get a little bleak. "
Indeed. We need to protect ourselves (and the flip side of "why don't you trust us" is "you should have been more careful what did you expect").
Trust a bit, watch for evidence before you trust more.
I do the same for women and I would hope any adult (and to a degree developmentally appropriate, most children) would do the same.
It's self preservation not misandry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I've been really lucky to be honest because I found the best man possible here.
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You're the lucky one! I always expect to earn trust first, even being one of the genuine nice guys on here. Not blowing my own trumpet by the way, but I do try to be a good person! I talk women out of meeting me sometimes ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm careful and cautious. I don't give everything away at once and earning my trust takes time. I'm like that in life though not just Fab, had my fingers burned too many times to be any other way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Too many questions 
Well, I’m not asking men, so you don’t need to concern yourself
Ouch, your question was valid, don't undo your good work here OP! "
It was a pointless comment, if he thinks there’s too many questions, then avoid the thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I've been really lucky to be honest because I found the best man possible here.
None taken  "
I'm all seriousness, Never met a man from here that iv had any real issues with so I'd say I trust until I'm given a reason not to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before you can trust him that is, or do view every man with a clean slate until he proves otherwise, do you treat each man as an Individual Or do you view us as a collective unit ?"
I'm not a collective unit OP! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nah not at all, I started off by sticking up for you OP! "
I don’t want anyone to stick up for me thanks, I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself. |
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"Yep. Definitely sceptical after several bad experiences ranging from catfish to actual assault. "
This is the reality and the reason that women and men see things differently.
If it goes wrong for a man, chances are it will be a funny story to tell down the pub.
If it goes wrong for a woman, it’s often much more serious |
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"Yep. Definitely sceptical after several bad experiences ranging from catfish to actual assault.
This is the reality and the reason that women and men see things differently.
If it goes wrong for a man, chances are it will be a funny story to tell down the pub.
If it goes wrong for a woman, it’s often much more serious "
Yep that’s so true! I don’t think enough men appreciate quite how risky it is for women meeting from any online source. You’re made to feel like you’re crazy for asking men for multiple ways of assurance someone is who they claim to be. Sadly, you can never tell in advance of someone is going to do something against your will  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Clean slate with an under the bed monster recall of previous experiences. You try and ignore it and know it’s not real but it’s still scary when things get a little bleak. "
This is an excellent way of putting it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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99% of us straight guys are here for the fanny, we'll say anything and try anything.
There's nothing nicer than a guy trying to get into a pair of nice knickers, so yes of course women are suspicious of single guys, who can blame them? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I think I’m going to go with, when they show you who they are, believe them the first time. "
Very very sensible. Where were you when I needed to hear that 8 years ago lol  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I'm a natural sceptic, but more so on here.
A lot of men will just sprout the shite they think you want to hear, but they can't keep it up for long before the masks slips, so they are the most easily found out.
But as someone has already mentioned, a woman has to be naturally more cautious than men, and why some don't understand that is beyond me. |
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"Yep. Definitely sceptical after several bad experiences ranging from catfish to actual assault.
This is the reality and the reason that women and men see things differently.
If it goes wrong for a man, chances are it will be a funny story to tell down the pub.
If it goes wrong for a woman, it’s often much more serious "
Agreed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I’m going to go with, when they show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Very very sensible. Where were you when I needed to hear that 8 years ago lol "
We all need reminders, I certainly do! I might write it on my forehead  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair, you have be cautious not just here but with any social media, online dating, etc. I understand women being extra cautious because the risks can be real and physical. But men can be hurt too, probably more in their headband heart, being played for a dummy. There is dishonesty on both sides, albeit taking different shapes. Be vigilant! |
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"I think I’m going to go with, when they show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Very very sensible. Where were you when I needed to hear that 8 years ago lol
We all need reminders, I certainly do! I might write it on my forehead "
Preach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try not to think of “men” as a group. I prefer to think of individuals on their own unique merit.
Every person starts as a clean slate though. Trust is earned, but a baseline is given until proven otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to start off with the idea that everyone on here will be married/have a partner or a lingering ex that is still a big part of their life. It depends entirely on what Im after, for just a one off meet none of that really matters (as awful as that sounds) in some ways is preferred and all I have to trust is that they arent a murderer, which luckily not many are, or arent willing to murder you in a daytime hotel. Longer term things I start on the same premise but just ask the details, as I want to know everything warts n all really. A long winded way to say I dont think I am suspicious of people, more just like I know everyone has a life and story, and I would be more suspicious if I was inclined to be, if everything was perfect and rosy in someones life. Life is messy, and especially the lives of fabbers  |
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"I try not to think of “men” as a group. I prefer to think of individuals on their own unique merit.
Every person starts as a clean slate though. Trust is earned, but a baseline is given until proven otherwise."
I only do to the extent that "this person is probably bigger and stronger than me". That's not necessarily always "man", but more often than not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I’m going to go with, when they show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Very very sensible. Where were you when I needed to hear that 8 years ago lol
We all need reminders, I certainly do! I might write it on my forehead "
I love that saying. It is always always right isnt it, we just dont want to see it. Even when they actually tell us the person they are and to run not just show it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I’m going to go with, when they show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Very very sensible. Where were you when I needed to hear that 8 years ago lol
We all need reminders, I certainly do! I might write it on my forehead
I love that saying. It is always always right isnt it, we just dont want to see it. Even when they actually tell us the person they are and to run not just show it "
Absolutely! Even when we deny it to ourselves, it comes back around |
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"I have respect for many of the very pleasant men of the fab forum ...... and absolute disdain for a select few I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw them.
I can be thrown "
You don’t fall into the throw category thankfully |
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"I have respect for many of the very pleasant men of the fab forum ...... and absolute disdain for a select few I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw them.
I can be thrown
You don’t fall into the throw category thankfully "
Ooo what category am I?  |
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"I think I’m going to go with, when they show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Very very sensible. Where were you when I needed to hear that 8 years ago lol
We all need reminders, I certainly do! I might write it on my forehead
I love that saying. It is always always right isnt it, we just dont want to see it. Even when they actually tell us the person they are and to run not just show it
Absolutely! Even when we deny it to ourselves, it comes back around "
Oh I hear this. |
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