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Words that just don’t do it for you...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You’ve seen the pics and read the profile and think, yep this could be promising. Then you read the message and sigh...
‘I want to make you moist’. Moist?
Damp on walls is moist. Mushrooms grow in moist. I get WET.
‘I want to push your panties to the side’. Panties?
That’s what Great Aunt Mabel wears to cover her arse to her armpits. I wear KNICKERS.
‘He wants to be in you so bad/what do you want to do to him’. Him?
It’s your dick ffs why are you using the 3rd person? Embarrassed to be in ‘his’ company?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer the word panties because knickers sounds like old woman's panties 
You know, the white diaper look "
Exactly this ! The boss says panties she’s posh it’s sexy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I prefer the word panties because knickers sounds like old woman's panties
You know, the white diaper look "
You’re topsy turvy...
Brazilian knickers
French knickers
Lace knickers
Trying to educate you here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer the word panties because knickers sounds like old woman's panties
You know, the white diaper look
You’re topsy turvy...
Brazilian knickers
French knickers
Lace knickers
Trying to educate you here "
Whatever you say grandma |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Girls referring to their pussy as 'cunt' or saying 'fuck my tight cunt'. Dries me up that one. "
We had one yesterday asking did we want to fuck her tight cunt
The boss replied pls come a fuck my tight cunt I’ve been trying to for years and he still won’t give me his credit card  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I prefer the word panties because knickers sounds like old woman's panties
You know, the white diaper look
You’re topsy turvy...
Brazilian knickers
French knickers
Lace knickers
Trying to educate you here
Whatever you say grandma "
Go play with the other kids now before I spank your bottom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Girls referring to their pussy as 'cunt' or saying 'fuck my tight cunt'. Dries me up that one.
We had one yesterday asking did we want to fuck her tight cunt
The boss replied pls come a fuck my tight cunt I’ve been trying to for years and he still won’t give me his credit card "
Hahahah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer the word panties because knickers sounds like old woman's panties
You know, the white diaper look
You’re topsy turvy...
Brazilian knickers
French knickers
Lace knickers
Trying to educate you here "
Panties |
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"I prefer the word panties because knickers sounds like old woman's panties
You know, the white diaper look
You’re topsy turvy...
Brazilian knickers
French knickers
Lace knickers
Trying to educate you here
Whatever you say grandma
Go play with the other kids now before I spank your bottom "
Taking notes here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Panties sounds like an Americanism to me, but I also hate knickers too. Horrible word.
Undies and pants has been good enough for me since I was young and I ain't changing now.  "
Pants for a woman? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also detest the term moist.
I don't like 'creamy' either - the only time my discharge has been like that is when I had the yeast infection from hell so it just makes me cringe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'I want a muscled gentleman who takes great care of himself and knows how to treat a lady'
Always a disappointment to read that on a profile. "
They dont say that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I also detest the term moist.
I don't like 'creamy' either - the only time my discharge has been like that is when I had the yeast infection from hell so it just makes me cringe. "
So no ‘I wanna make you moist and then lick your cream?’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Panties sounds like an Americanism to me, but I also hate knickers too. Horrible word.
Undies and pants has been good enough for me since I was young and I ain't changing now. "
Alan Wickers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"‘I want to push your panties to the side’. Panties?
That’s what Great Aunt Mabel wears to cover her arse to her armpits. I wear KNICKERS."
Panties are what girls wear - connotations of innocence. 'Panties and pigtails'.
Knickers are what women wear - connotations of maturity and experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone asks me about my "hubby" I shudder. If someone asks Mr where "the wife" is I also shudder. If anybody refers to my "boobies", "down below" or "botty" I fall down in a shuddering heap. "
 any sort of baby talk makes me 
"he he" also gets an instant delete (shudder) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"‘I want to push your panties to the side’. Panties?
That’s what Great Aunt Mabel wears to cover her arse to her armpits. I wear KNICKERS.
Panties are what girls wear - connotations of innocence. 'Panties and pigtails'.
Knickers are what women wear - connotations of maturity and experience. "
I’m going for Alan’s far less grief |
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"‘I want to push your panties to the side’. Panties?
That’s what Great Aunt Mabel wears to cover her arse to her armpits. I wear KNICKERS.
Panties are what girls wear - connotations of innocence. 'Panties and pigtails'.
Knickers are what women wear - connotations of maturity and experience. "
Oh I dunno, a bit of panties and pigtails can be fun  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"‘I want to push your panties to the side’. Panties?
That’s what Great Aunt Mabel wears to cover her arse to her armpits. I wear KNICKERS.
Panties are what girls wear - connotations of innocence. 'Panties and pigtails'.
Knickers are what women wear - connotations of maturity and experience.
Oh I dunno, a bit of panties and pigtails can be fun "
Depends whose panties and pigtails  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The term 'heavy cummer'
Oh great..... thanks.... ill whitewash the walls after you've visited then, shall I? That way, Aunty Mabel won't ask questions as to what that is dripping off the woodchip! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Detest the word panties or ass .....its knickers and arse.
Also if they call me girl....im a 52 yr old woman grr"
I was getting on really well with someone until he called me a good girl... I promptly told him I was nearly 30 with a child. Not exactly a girl and haven't spoken to him since.  |
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By *slite1Man
over a year ago
ludgershall |
Problem for men is when they read a profile that says need more than one sentence, we get confused. So we try to string together lots of words that may make us sound appealing. When realy what we are try to say is WE ARE GOOD IN BED DO YOU WANT A FUCK. |
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"I hate the word minge.
I also had someone tell me he wanted to tongue punch my fart box the other day  "
Reminds of best mate years ago, dancing with girl to "lady in red" (age!). Saw him laughing twice. Afterwards told me girl (who was d*unk) said she was a "lady in red, dahn below" followed shortly by (and I quote, imagine gravelly voice) "I'm on the rag but you can woof me up the shitter".
He didn't by the way - couldnt stop himself laughing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hate the word minge.
I also had someone tell me he wanted to tongue punch my fart box the other day
Reminds of best mate years ago, dancing with girl to "lady in red" (age!). Saw him laughing twice. Afterwards told me girl (who was d*unk) said she was a "lady in red, dahn below" followed shortly by (and I quote, imagine gravelly voice) "I'm on the rag but you can woof me up the shitter".
He didn't by the way - couldnt stop himself laughing. "
I love it when they speak so eloquently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The term 'heavy cummer'
Oh great..... thanks.... ill whitewash the walls after you've visited then, shall I? That way, Aunty Mabel won't ask questions as to what that is dripping off the woodchip! "
You have wood chip xx phworrrrrrr |
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"I hate the word minge.
I also had someone tell me he wanted to tongue punch my fart box the other day
Reminds of best mate years ago, dancing with girl to "lady in red" (age!). Saw him laughing twice. Afterwards told me girl (who was d*unk) said she was a "lady in red, dahn below" followed shortly by (and I quote, imagine gravelly voice) "I'm on the rag but you can woof me up the shitter".
He didn't by the way - couldnt stop himself laughing. "
That's hilarious! |
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"You’ve seen the pics and read the profile and think, yep this could be promising. Then you read the message and sigh...
‘I want to make you moist’. Moist?
Damp on walls is moist. Mushrooms grow in moist. I get WET.
‘I want to push your panties to the side’. Panties?
That’s what Great Aunt Mabel wears to cover her arse to her armpits. I wear KNICKERS.
‘He wants to be in you so bad/what do you want to do to him’. Him?
It’s your dick ffs why are you using the 3rd person? Embarrassed to be in ‘his’ company?
"
Bleeeurghhhh that and cock pics poking through flies! Makes me wanna wretch! How trashy and tasteless that looks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The term 'heavy cummer'
Oh great..... thanks.... ill whitewash the walls after you've visited then, shall I? That way, Aunty Mabel won't ask questions as to what that is dripping off the woodchip!
You have wood chip xx phworrrrrrr "
Nope.... And I don't have an aunty Mabel either! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr is from hackney I didn’t do finishing school but type assist helps ,the abuse of the English language and whatever shit some use as words.I have no fucking idea what they are saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The term 'heavy cummer'
Oh great..... thanks.... ill whitewash the walls after you've visited then, shall I? That way, Aunty Mabel won't ask questions as to what that is dripping off the woodchip!
You have wood chip xx phworrrrrrr
Nope.... And I don't have an aunty Mabel either! "
Damm I nearly had half a lob on for you then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The term 'heavy cummer'
Oh great..... thanks.... ill whitewash the walls after you've visited then, shall I? That way, Aunty Mabel won't ask questions as to what that is dripping off the woodchip! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, it really takes very little to put me off.
Offers to make me squirt, heavy cummers, panties, generally being overly sexual in conversation.
Very few can actually walk the walk, many just want wank fodder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr vyper -should we be weighing or measuring our spunk shot to determine heavy cummer ? "
Apparantly if a man takes a zinc supplement he can produce more cum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Panties really that's bad writing straight from 50 shades etc.. "
Not always depends on context, for me anyway, and how good the rest of the writing is. |
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"I also had someone tell me he wanted to tongue punch my fart box the other day "
I think that's a quote from something. A female friend of mine received those exact words in message on a vanilla dating site a number of years ago. Either that or it's the same guy still trying the same line. Hah. |
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"I also had someone tell me he wanted to tongue punch my fart box the other day
I think that's a quote from something. A female friend of mine received those exact words in message on a vanilla dating site a number of years ago. Either that or it's the same guy still trying the same line. Hah. "
Imagine! It will work one day he's sure of it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Reading between the lines,life must be pure hell for some of you "
Seems like this thread is for all those who really enjoyed English lessons at school.
We'll start quoting Wittgenstein soon and his theories on language.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Reading between the lines,life must be pure hell for some of you
Seems like this thread is for all those who really enjoyed English lessons at school.
We'll start quoting Wittgenstein soon and his theories on language.
"
I adore the English language in all its forms. Doesn’t mean I have to like every single word though and this thread is making me laugh |
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Anything related to always wanting to shag a black girl for the first time. Especially if followed by a statement saying the person is willing to do anything to make it happen.
Anything that implies that a guy thinks he’s amazing in bed because he has a big dick
“420 friendly”
“Likes to party“
“Finger blast“
Probably lots more thing. I find most messages we receive from guys put me off the sender!
|
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"I also had someone tell me he wanted to tongue punch my fart box the other day
I think that's a quote from something. A female friend of mine received those exact words in message on a vanilla dating site a number of years ago. Either that or it's the same guy still trying the same line. Hah.
Imagine! It will work one day he's sure of it! "
Google now tells me it's a quote from the 2012 Mark Wahlberg movie Ted. Clearly a rich and successful source of pick-up lines. Ugh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Reading between the lines,life must be pure hell for some of you
Seems like this thread is for all those who really enjoyed English lessons at school.
We'll start quoting Wittgenstein soon and his theories on language.
I adore the English language in all its forms. Doesn’t mean I have to like every single word though and this thread is making me laugh "
I love the english language - it is so malleable but for me it's all context.
Take the word 'cunt' - brilliant word - all earthy and no nonsense and a very old word and only considered as a derogatory term since the 19th century. Used well it can be an absolute joy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can i lick your rusty baloon knot.
Picture it.....now its in your head. Just NO.
After all those hilarious messages, this one has finished me off Pahhahahaha x"
Hope you cleaned up after yourself |
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"You’ve seen the pics and read the profile and think, yep this could be promising. Then you read the message and sigh...
‘I want to make you moist’. Moist?
Damp on walls is moist. Mushrooms grow in moist. I get WET.
‘I want to push your panties to the side’. Panties?
That’s what Great Aunt Mabel wears to cover her arse to her armpits. I wear KNICKERS.
‘He wants to be in you so bad/what do you want to do to him’. Him?
It’s your dick ffs why are you using the 3rd person? Embarrassed to be in ‘his’ company?
Bleeeurghhhh that and cock pics poking through flies! Makes me wanna wretch! How trashy and tasteless that looks "
I’ll amend ASAP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr vyper -should we be weighing or measuring our spunk shot to determine heavy cummer ?
Apparantly if a man takes a zinc supplement he can produce more cum. "
Ha ha time to Rob the roofing supplies shop lol |
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"Reading between the lines,life must be pure hell for some of you
Seems like this thread is for all those who really enjoyed English lessons at school.
We'll start quoting Wittgenstein soon and his theories on language.
"
Nah. Sod Witty. This forum is pure Diachronic in the Synchronic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr vyper -should we be weighing or measuring our spunk shot to determine heavy cummer ?
Apparantly if a man takes a zinc supplement he can produce more cum.
Donald trump said so... "
And Dominic Cummings wrote it in statute law |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We'll start quoting Wittgenstein soon and his theories on language.
Nah. Sod Witty. This forum is pure Diachronic in the Synchronic. "
It's all Greek for me too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to stay away from the word cunt
It has many meanings in diff settings as I’m from the east end it surfaces a lot in vocabulary and is mostly interpreted wrongly |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Minge annoys me. Most terms for lady parts are OK, there's no particularly great one, but I don't like minge.
And as for phrases I don't like. Well..... That's a long list |
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"Can i lick your rusty baloon knot.
Picture it.....now its in your head. Just NO.
This is just pure gold "
A d*unk lady once asked if I could put it in the "rusty sheriff's badge". After a small chuckle I obliged xx |
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Any sort of childish language is a turn off... "Naughty" for example makes me think of a teenage boy, or "yummy" if used in relation to anything other than food. Or child like terms used for body parts "baps", "flower" etc.
"Moist" makes my skin crawl.
Total strangers calling me "hun" or "babe" or anything along those lines is a definite no.
K
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I can spend the time messaging someone based upon their profile, really looking forward to the reply and and when I receive it and it contains all of the above, I will not reply.
Hate all sort of pet names and childish nick names. The dictionary exist for a reason.  |
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"Panties sounds like an Americanism to me, but I also hate knickers too. Horrible word.
Undies and pants has been good enough for me since I was young and I ain't changing now.
Pants for a woman?"
Yes. Totally. Better than knickers. Horrible word. I've written it twice on this thread and feel somewhat defiled. |
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Words that I have been asked to use but can’t bring myself to:
Fanny - nope it’s pussy
Flower - WTAF ??
Gash - as above 
Titties - Boobs or tits. I’m not Eddie Murphy.
Willie - it’s cock. I stopped saying willie when I was 8
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’ve seen the pics and read the profile and think, yep this could be promising. Then you read the message and sigh...
‘I want to make you moist’. Moist?
Damp on walls is moist. Mushrooms grow in moist. I get WET.
‘I want to push your panties to the side’. Panties?
That’s what Great Aunt Mabel wears to cover her arse to her armpits. I wear KNICKERS.
‘He wants to be in you so bad/what do you want to do to him’. Him?
It’s your dick ffs why are you using the 3rd person? Embarrassed to be in ‘his’ company?
"
Yes, Wet and Knickers do it for me.
I prefer Cock to Dick too! |
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"Gentlemen. Own up. Do you talk about your dick in the third person? Is he hungry? "
You mean Mr Poker? Yes, Mr Poker likes me talking about him like that. He sends his regards but he had a good prodding recently so he's says he's not hungry, thanks. |
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Oddly I dislike the word 'please' during sex; I would much rather have someone day 'fuck me' rather than 'fuck me please' !
Maybe its the fact that commands are sexier than requests in my mind - who knows ! |
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