FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Funniest things about Fab
Funniest things about Fab
Jump to: Newest in thread
What are your funniest things about Fab?
Fake pictures - some high res porn star image in an american bathroom but claims shes a single mum from Skegness
Male verifications for ladies - proper cringe, treat this one with respect if you get the chance etc etc
Statuses - some angry unhinged folk out there haha
  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Men hiding behind women’s profiles loving those at the mo
Couples where it’s just a male and his blow up friend dirty sue he got on special on eBay with a slow puncture  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fake pictures - some high res porn star image in an american bathroom but claims shes a single mum from Skegness
Especially if she works at Butlins! "
On the doughnut counter  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The list of requirements some ladies ask for Is very entertaining...
Height ,
Weight,
Measurements, length and width.
Dom in the bedroom but not outside....
The list is long "
Personally I only meet men of a certain ring size and a 9cm wide ball sack. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Requirements and promises on some profiles- jeez. I’ll go down on you for hours, heavy cummer (so what?), 100% Dom (yeah right, walk this way Mister), I know how to satisfy you.... uh huh. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Requirements and promises on some profiles- jeez. I’ll go down on you for hours, heavy cummer (so what?), 100% Dom (yeah right, walk this way Mister), I know how to satisfy you.... uh huh."
Don’t forget some of the photos sent directly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some of the requests make me  
One last night was trying to offer me a £20 amazon voucher for videos
My response 'off you fuck and don't be such a cheapskate' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Requirements and promises on some profiles- jeez. I’ll go down on you for hours, heavy cummer (so what?), 100% Dom (yeah right, walk this way Mister), I know how to satisfy you.... uh huh.
Don’t forget some of the photos sent directly "
Unsolicited dick pics- yep... nothing wrong with one though if we’ve chatted |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Requirements and promises on some profiles- jeez. I’ll go down on you for hours, heavy cummer (so what?), 100% Dom (yeah right, walk this way Mister), I know how to satisfy you.... uh huh."
You had me at 'heavy cummer'
Seriously?? Heavy cummer?? Oh yeah, thats a 4 babywipe deal, instead of a regulation 2! Heavy cummer?? What does that even mean?? A double splat job??
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Requirements and promises on some profiles- jeez. I’ll go down on you for hours, heavy cummer (so what?), 100% Dom (yeah right, walk this way Mister), I know how to satisfy you.... uh huh.
You had me at 'heavy cummer'
Seriously?? Heavy cummer?? Oh yeah, thats a 4 babywipe deal, instead of a regulation 2! Heavy cummer?? What does that even mean?? A double splat job??
"
Has to fill a fruit bowl |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The messages from couples profiles that are clearly single men.
They have the feel of that Nigerian fraud with the emails saying they have 10 million pounds but just need your account details and a small deposit to release the funds...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Heavy cummer, big load, don’t get why some guys think they have to point this out."
Check to see if the guy is bi. Heavy cummer/big load is a thing for some bi/gay guys.
Basically means cums a thick, creamy, heavy load. More than the average. Similar to how some women produce 'thicker' moisture than others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What are your funniest things about Fab?
Fake pictures - some high res porn star image in an american bathroom but claims shes a single mum from Skegness
Male verifications for ladies - proper cringe, treat this one with respect if you get the chance etc etc
Statuses - some angry unhinged folk out there haha
"
I hate that one: "treat this one with respect if you get the chance". Seen it so many times, means nothing.
And I find it funny when you see profiles saying they've been here before so know how it works.
And profiles basically selling their Only Fans, or saying their membership has ran out and who will pay it for them or saying they want gifts.
No thanks to all that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What are your funniest things about Fab?
Fake pictures - some high res porn star image in an american bathroom but claims shes a single mum from Skegness
Male verifications for ladies - proper cringe, treat this one with respect if you get the chance etc etc
Statuses - some angry unhinged folk out there haha
I hate that one: "treat this one with respect if you get the chance". Seen it so many times, means nothing.
And I find it funny when you see profiles saying they've been here before so know how it works.
And profiles basically selling their Only Fans, or saying their membership has ran out and who will pay it for them or saying they want gifts.
No thanks to all that "
Treat with respect - thank you for that, I was about to be an absolute disrespectful, rude arrogant idiot until I read your verification.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm fascinated by how many people have looked at us who have silhouette avatars, nothing in their galleries, no verification from Admin, and text that's like "Looking for fun".
What's the point? Why not just look at the site anonymously? What's the profile for? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Ok
Couples who are not oroper couokes but showing one sex photos
People who say peoole msg who msg them with no face piccy wont be replied back - but they csnt even show their own fuckin face
Fellas who msg gloatin they have the best dick in town
Fellas who send dick piccys but up other girls fannys
People who have piccys up with their EX partners
why wud u put ex partners up?
My list coukd go on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What are your funniest things about Fab?
Fake pictures - some high res porn star image in an american bathroom but claims shes a single mum from Skegness
Male verifications for ladies - proper cringe, treat this one with respect if you get the chance etc etc
Statuses - some angry unhinged folk out there haha
I hate that one: "treat this one with respect if you get the chance". Seen it so many times, means nothing.
And I find it funny when you see profiles saying they've been here before so know how it works.
And profiles basically selling their Only Fans, or saying their membership has ran out and who will pay it for them or saying they want gifts.
No thanks to all that
Treat with respect - thank you for that, I was about to be an absolute disrespectful, rude arrogant idiot until I read your verification. "
So you instead went with condescending then, fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The messages from couples profiles that are clearly single men.
They have the feel of that Nigerian fraud with the emails saying they have 10 million pounds but just need your account details and a small deposit to release the funds... "
I get those now and again plus similar with single women profiles! Locals seem to be full of them. Probably not many men doing it... just a few with multiple profiles  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hedireCouple
over a year ago
wigan |
Bullsh1t disclaimers. As the TOTAL CONTENT of an unverified profile over a year old.
And "fill in later" also on over a year old profiles.
We're 'guilty' of having a keyword but people do not read profiles and we're fed up of wasting time having a conversation only to reach a deal breaker. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ltrMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
"Daily ranting status saying they are going to leave fed up with it yet still here months later writing the same old "
^^^^^^
Agree with this. The so fed of not getting mail
so I will attention seek
on my profile brigade |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The ones that say,
I can go all night (just because you can, doesn't mean I want to)
I'll go down on you for hours (and???)
I'll destroy you (and I could eat you for breakfast, doesn't mean I will )
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Heavy cummer, big load, don’t get why some guys think they have to point this out.
Check to see if the guy is bi. Heavy cummer/big load is a thing for some bi/gay guys.
Basically means cums a thick, creamy, heavy load. More than the average. Similar to how some women produce 'thicker' moisture than others. "
What????  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The aggressive status updates about how shit the site is/how all women are stuck up/how all men are wankers
Negative, ranty profiles. Especially the ones who purely focus on a massive list of their dislikes.
Crank people who message other users verifications. Saying things such as "I won't meet you now you've met....". Sound lol
Those "It's my birthday today. Who's gonna treat me?" status updates |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
That men seem to think that a women will not notice that they are 5 inches shorter and 10yrs older than their profiles state. I actually met a man a few months ago who done this. I basically said hello and goodbye and got next train home. My spare time is precious and hate having it wasted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The people who try to imply in forum comments that they have had a meet with you when they haven't . "
Interesting that one...
I've had that said to me, in a Chatroom! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Requirements and promises on some profiles- jeez. I’ll go down on you for hours, heavy cummer (so what?), 100% Dom (yeah right, walk this way Mister), I know how to satisfy you.... uh huh.
You had me at 'heavy cummer'
Seriously?? Heavy cummer?? Oh yeah, thats a 4 babywipe deal, instead of a regulation 2! Heavy cummer?? What does that even mean?? A double splat job??
"
Comments like these. I did actually laugh |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That men seem to think that a women will not notice that they are 5 inches shorter and 10yrs older than their profiles state. I actually met a man a few months ago who done this. I basically said hello and goodbye and got next train home. My spare time is precious and hate having it wasted."
This! 
I met a guy about 9 years ago who looked NOTHING like his pics back then. Oddly enough, he still uses them now! And across various new profiles over the years. He has loads of very complimentary verifications  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wait, is this not a comedy site? I thought it was some massive in-joke parody. Are you telling me some people actually have sex on here?"
This is a funny haha outlook!
Yes to your question! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"That men seem to think that a women will not notice that they are 5 inches shorter and 10yrs older than their profiles state. I actually met a man a few months ago who done this. I basically said hello and goodbye and got next train home. My spare time is precious and hate having it wasted.
This!
I met a guy about 9 years ago who looked NOTHING like his pics back then. Oddly enough, he still uses them now! And across various new profiles over the years. He has loads of very complimentary verifications "
I apologies, I’ll remove myself this instant |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The ones that say,
I can go all night (just because you can, doesn't mean I want to)
I'll go down on you for hours (and???)
I'll destroy you (and I could eat you for breakfast, doesn't mean I will )
"
I've noticed a fair few words more frequently in messages lately....
Smash
Destroy
Ruin
Wreck
I don't ever recall advertising that I'm looking for The Hulk...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That men seem to think that a women will not notice that they are 5 inches shorter and 10yrs older than their profiles state. I actually met a man a few months ago who done this. I basically said hello and goodbye and got next train home. My spare time is precious and hate having it wasted.
This!
I met a guy about 9 years ago who looked NOTHING like his pics back then. Oddly enough, he still uses them now! And across various new profiles over the years. He has loads of very complimentary verifications
I apologies, I’ll remove myself this instant "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The ones that say,
I can go all night (just because you can, doesn't mean I want to)
I'll go down on you for hours (and???)
I'll destroy you (and I could eat you for breakfast, doesn't mean I will )
I've noticed a fair few words more frequently in messages lately....
Smash
Destroy
Ruin
Wreck
I don't ever recall advertising that I'm looking for The Hulk...
"
I quite like my body and dislike visiting the hospital. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The ones that say,
I can go all night (just because you can, doesn't mean I want to)
I'll go down on you for hours (and???)
I'll destroy you (and I could eat you for breakfast, doesn't mean I will )
I've noticed a fair few words more frequently in messages lately....
Smash
Destroy
Ruin
Wreck
I don't ever recall advertising that I'm looking for The Hulk...
I quite like my body and dislike visiting the hospital."
Same. I don't have much free time so a post-meet hospital stay isn't really appealing  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
Anyone who says boring or bored.
Either their life or their wife is boring, or they’re just bored. Who would be drawn to someone who _iews life like that?! Very unattractive!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyone who says boring or bored.
Either their life or their wife is boring, or they’re just bored. Who would be drawn to someone who _iews life like that?! Very unattractive!!"
"I'm bored, so I expect people to jump to to entertain me" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Profile: I CANT MEET AT THE DROP OF A HAT!!!!11
Status: who free now??
When the legal disclaimer is longer than their profile text.
'Just looking' profiles
Dicks using beer cans and TV remotes for scale. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The people who try to imply in forum comments that they have had a meet with you when they haven't .
Interesting that one...
I've had that said to me, in a Chatroom! "
I’d shout that out at the time! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"Anyone who says boring or bored.
Either their life or their wife is boring, or they’re just bored. Who would be drawn to someone who _iews life like that?! Very unattractive!!
"I'm bored, so I expect people to jump to to entertain me""
My pleasure!! Let me put my happy life on hold to crawl in your cave of greyness and see if you perk up!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyone who says boring or bored.
Either their life or their wife is boring, or they’re just bored. Who would be drawn to someone who _iews life like that?! Very unattractive!!
"I'm bored, so I expect people to jump to to entertain me"
My pleasure!! Let me put my happy life on hold to crawl in your cave of greyness and see if you perk up!!"
You're booored your life is so booooring so I'll definitely spend two hours sprucing myself up, come to you, for two pumps and a squirt. It's why I'm on this earth, to cater for your inability to entertain yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"Anyone who says boring or bored.
Either their life or their wife is boring, or they’re just bored. Who would be drawn to someone who _iews life like that?! Very unattractive!!
"I'm bored, so I expect people to jump to to entertain me"
My pleasure!! Let me put my happy life on hold to crawl in your cave of greyness and see if you perk up!!
You're booored your life is so booooring so I'll definitely spend two hours sprucing myself up, come to you, for two pumps and a squirt. It's why I'm on this earth, to cater for your inability to entertain yourself."
I’m so humbled and grateful for the opportunity to connect with these charmers...boredom is the 6th love language  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When you see a Fabber on Tinder/Bumble and their list of needs is totally different!
My needs are totally different if I'm looking to date "
I meant their likes and dislikes and their description of themselves and what they want is markedly different.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The ones that say,
I can go all night (just because you can, doesn't mean I want to)
I'll go down on you for hours (and???)
I'll destroy you (and I could eat you for breakfast, doesn't mean I will )
Hahaha! Yep, I do not associate those words with something pleasurable at all. A&E visit and some unwanted time off work and a long road of recovery.
I've noticed a fair few words more frequently in messages lately....
Smash
Destroy
Ruin
Wreck
I don't ever recall advertising that I'm looking for The Hulk...
I quite like my body and dislike visiting the hospital."
Hahaha! Yep, I do not associate those words with something pleasurable at all. A&E visit and some unwanted time off work and a long road of recovery |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"What are your funniest things about Fab?
Fake pictures - some high res porn star image in an american bathroom but claims shes a single mum from Skegness
Male verifications for ladies - proper cringe, treat this one with respect if you get the chance etc etc
Statuses - some angry unhinged folk out there haha
"
Funniest thing about Fab for me is the forums. I usually laugh out loud at some comment on a daily basis. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Profiles so long they should register an ISBN .... But no paragraphs. Seriously, my dyslexic weird brain can't cope with that.
Oh, and some of the disgusting pictures ... I don't want to see her kidneys or his bowel |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The list of requirements some ladies ask for Is very entertaining...
Height ,
Weight,
Measurements, length and width.
Dom in the bedroom but not outside....
The list is long
Personally I only meet men of a certain ring size and a 9cm wide ball sack. "
9cm. Surely it must be 10cm at least |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The list of requirements some ladies ask for Is very entertaining...
Height ,
Weight,
Measurements, length and width.
Dom in the bedroom but not outside....
The list is long
Personally I only meet men of a certain ring size and a 9cm wide ball sack.
9cm. Surely it must be 10cm at least "
Whst can I say, I like what I like! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The men who think my dislike of cunnilingus would be instantly rectified if they had a go.
Oh god. Your preferences are meaningless because I'm so amazing.
Fuck off"
This made me giggle. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The aggressive status updates about how shit the site is/how all women are stuck up/how all men are wankers
Negative, ranty profiles. Especially the ones who purely focus on a massive list of their dislikes.
Crank people who message other users verifications. Saying things such as "I won't meet you now you've met....". Sound lol
Those "It's my birthday today. Who's gonna treat me?" status updates"
Never tried that one, but for the record.... Next Saturday IS my birthday  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
These are all so true... not sure if anyone has posted this but the one where you get a friend request from people that have hardly any pics on the profile and no verifications... yes obviously we are going to accept for you to perve on lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men hiding behind women’s profiles loving those at the mo
Couples where it’s just a male and his blow up friend dirty sue he got on special on eBay with a slow puncture "
This made us laugh!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men with genuine and respectful on their profile, who send abusive messages when you dare to give them a polite no thanks."
SO many of these!
The "genuine and respectful" professionals are usually the most abusive if you politely decline or don't reply |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am no Fred flinstone but i can make your bedrock".....We get this message from the same guy every month and have been for the last year the reason we dont block him is just to see how long he carrys on sending it or if it ever changes.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The men who think my dislike of cunnilingus would be instantly rectified if they had a go.
Oh god. Your preferences are meaningless because I'm so amazing.
Fuck off
This made me giggle. "
Me, too! She speaks my language. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The best boobs/best bum threads on the forums where everyone just shamelessly nominates themselves "
agreed also the well hung(debatable) who start a post about what’s considered hung and you can guarantee they claim to be 8 and clearly are nowhere near |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
