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Father's rights
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My ex-partner is refusing to let me see my son,I've read that it is illegal for her to do so however it also says the police can't get involved in these situations.I'm a devotes father who will do anything for my son,I've always tried to avoid court however it's got to the stage that she's keeping him from me.
What do I do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You'll need a solicitor and uess you have support of social care ie mum can't care safely, then there is no legal aid.
You could seek support from the the fatherhood institute
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Father's right in this country are farcical "
Unfortunately so, I know some guys who have been through the courts and still have spiteful vindictive women still withhold access 
Kids are not pawns to be used against their fathers |
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"You'll need a solicitor and uess you have support of social care ie mum can't care safely, then there is no legal aid.
You could seek support from the the fatherhood institute
Good luck x"
I agree with fatherhood groups and fatherhood institute would be a good way to start. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear this, some women think it’s acceptable to play games with children and I hate it! Obviously don’t know your story and I’m sure she will have some “reason” but in my eyes unless you are a danger to your child you have every right to be in their life. So sad for you on today of all days. I have had many dealing with this due to family and friends problems. You need to Go see a mediator as that is the first step. Court won’t talk to you until you do.  |
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I know in Ireland, the police do not get involved unless there is an access order in place and it is being breached.
I would get a solicitor and get an emergency hearing in family court. Unless she has solid grounds for denying you access to your child, she cannt withold access from you.
HTH
MsD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Father's right in this country are farcical
Unfortunately so, I know some guys who have been through the courts and still have spiteful vindictive women still withhold access
Kids are not pawns to be used against their fathers "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex-partner is refusing to let me see my son,I've read that it is illegal for her to do so however it also says the police can't get involved in these situations.I'm a devotes father who will do anything for my son,I've always tried to avoid court however it's got to the stage that she's keeping him from me.
What do I do?"
Speak to a solicitor
Good luck. I think it's disgusting when Mums do this, without good reason x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still pay child support everyweek and I bought him a phone that he can use for us to stay in touch but his mum has taken it off him.
"
Been there.
Keep a track of everything. Communications, times you have been refused access etc
Do not refuse maintenance though. Dont even hint at it.
Find a solicitor who will give you an hour free consultation. Make sure you tell them everything, even if you're in wrong at some point. Start there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still pay child support everyweek and I bought him a phone that he can use for us to stay in touch but his mum has taken it off him.
Been there.
Keep a track of everything. Communications, times you have been refused access etc
Do not refuse maintenance though. Dont even hint at it.
Find a solicitor who will give you an hour free consultation. Make sure you tell them everything, even if you're in wrong at some point. Start there"
Oh, and receipts for everything you bought him. Keep them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still pay child support everyweek and I bought him a phone that he can use for us to stay in touch but his mum has taken it off him.
Been there.
Keep a track of everything. Communications, times you have been refused access etc
Do not refuse maintenance though. Dont even hint at it.
Find a solicitor who will give you an hour free consultation. Make sure you tell them everything, even if you're in wrong at some point. Start there
Oh, and receipts for everything you bought him. Keep them"
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Also keep a record of when you asked your ex to have vistation with your child and her responses, if any.
Try to keep any conversations you have with her civil as she could be recording you. Keep it about access to your child. Keep asking and get to a solicito asap.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Father's right in this country are farcical "
Yep it’s bad. My advice would be to try and resolve access with her because courts are farcical at enforcing access and will cost you a fortune and take years if she chooses to refuse there’s not much courts can do .
As a separate thing though I’d also go for 50 % custody , it’s much more common these days and courts like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still pay child support everyweek and I bought him a phone that he can use for us to stay in touch but his mum has taken it off him.
Been there.
Keep a track of everything. Communications, times you have been refused access etc
Do not refuse maintenance though. Dont even hint at it.
Find a solicitor who will give you an hour free consultation. Make sure you tell them everything, even if you're in wrong at some point. Start there
Oh, and receipts for everything you bought him. Keep them
"
Read this op
And see that solicitor ASAP! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long can it all take?
I haven't seen him in 2 weeks now and it's taking it toll on me. How fast can it get solved?"
How long is a piece of string?
With out the full story, I dont know.
I would let her know that you want to sort access between you both, if not then you'll seek legal advice and get access that way. Then actually seek legal advice. Dont let her call your bluff |
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Try to either text and email only. No verbal conversations.
It can take a while but of POF said, first write a letter via a solicitor stating you want access and if you do not get satisfactory access, you will be progressing to family court.
Good luck. Kids are not pawns to be used in games....my soon to e ex uses our 2kids against me. Its sickening.
MsD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What ever you do OP do not get aggressive or nasty even in words. I’m sure you are a good man but sometimes people can turn things around and make situations worse by using things you have said or done to their advantage. |
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"Be a proper father and go for 50% custody and never have to pay her a penny again"
My ex is angling for 50/50 custody of our 2 just becauae he thinks he will have to pay me no maintenance. He earns 3 times more than me and gives me nothing for them.
I do not believe getting 50/50 custody means giving nothing to the other party. Maybe I am wrong but thats what my legal team have informed me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just don't understand parents doing this. Makes me sad as they seem to fail to acknowledge that while they hurt the other parent yes but the one missing out is the child and it will create resentment once they are old enough to understand they were kept from having 2 parents out of spite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be a proper father and go for 50% custody and never have to pay her a penny again
My ex is angling for 50/50 custody of our 2 just becauae he thinks he will have to pay me no maintenance. He earns 3 times more than me and gives me nothing for them.
I do not believe getting 50/50 custody means giving nothing to the other party. Maybe I am wrong but thats what my legal team have informed me. "
Maybe different in Ireland. But a friend of mine had his child on the weekends and bought him clothes and toys etc to take home, he gave the judge the receipts and he didnt have to pay maintenance after that because he was doing his fair share. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be a proper father and go for 50% custody and never have to pay her a penny again
My ex is angling for 50/50 custody of our 2 just becauae he thinks he will have to pay me no maintenance. He earns 3 times more than me and gives me nothing for them.
I do not believe getting 50/50 custody means giving nothing to the other party. Maybe I am wrong but thats what my legal team have informed me.
Maybe different in Ireland. But a friend of mine had his child on the weekends and bought him clothes and toys etc to take home, he gave the judge the receipts and he didnt have to pay maintenance after that because he was doing his fair share. "
Damn right |
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By *yn drwgMan
over a year ago
Camarthen |
Never give up and always be honest, she will always give reasons for you not to see your child but in time the truth will com through.
Hard but has to be done, always keep calm don't ever lose it just think of your children. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Be a proper father and go for 50% custody and never have to pay her a penny again
My ex is angling for 50/50 custody of our 2 just becauae he thinks he will have to pay me no maintenance. He earns 3 times more than me and gives me nothing for them.
I do not believe getting 50/50 custody means giving nothing to the other party. Maybe I am wrong but thats what my legal team have informed me. "
It depends. If it’s just child maintenance it does because in 50/50 custody you share the costs of the kids equally - courts live it because it’s simple.
If you personally think you have a claim on him , to support you personally as an ex then you are right, go for it and see if the court agrees.
Of course your legal team will tell you that , you are paying them to tell you that , they will tell you what you want to hear and what will give them more billable tine, but the reality is in the uk it’s nit that common. Ask the for case law examples that are the same as your situation
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Sorry you are experiencing this.
I was the child pawn in this kind of situation and I will be forever grateful to my dad not giving up and fighting to see us. I hate hearing about women doing this.
I wish you the best of luck |
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"Be a proper father and go for 50% custody and never have to pay her a penny again
My ex is angling for 50/50 custody of our 2 just becauae he thinks he will have to pay me no maintenance. He earns 3 times more than me and gives me nothing for them.
I do not believe getting 50/50 custody means giving nothing to the other party. Maybe I am wrong but thats what my legal team have informed me.
Maybe different in Ireland. But a friend of mine had his child on the weekends and bought him clothes and toys etc to take home, he gave the judge the receipts and he didnt have to pay maintenance after that because he was doing his fair share.
Damn right"
Maybe that is the case. But when one party pays more for the kids despite being a significantly lower earner than the other, there has to be a balance.
My ex buys the kids expensive runners, sound cards for PC's, nintnedo credit etc but gives me nothing for school stuff, xrays/doc visits when our son broke his wrist a few months ago etc. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Be a proper father and go for 50% custody and never have to pay her a penny again
My ex is angling for 50/50 custody of our 2 just becauae he thinks he will have to pay me no maintenance. He earns 3 times more than me and gives me nothing for them.
I do not believe getting 50/50 custody means giving nothing to the other party. Maybe I am wrong but thats what my legal team have informed me.
Maybe different in Ireland. But a friend of mine had his child on the weekends and bought him clothes and toys etc to take home, he gave the judge the receipts and he didnt have to pay maintenance after that because he was doing his fair share. "
That’s odd if just having weekends and buying toys - 50/50 means sharing the housing costs so 3-4 nights a week - every week , their own bedrooms at the fathers house, half towards the costs of food, transport, clothes , everything |
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"Be a proper father and go for 50% custody and never have to pay her a penny again
My ex is angling for 50/50 custody of our 2 just becauae he thinks he will have to pay me no maintenance. He earns 3 times more than me and gives me nothing for them.
I do not believe getting 50/50 custody means giving nothing to the other party. Maybe I am wrong but thats what my legal team have informed me.
It depends. If it’s just child maintenance it does because in 50/50 custody you share the costs of the kids equally - courts live it because it’s simple.
If you personally think you have a claim on him , to support you personally as an ex then you are right, go for it and see if the court agrees.
Of course your legal team will tell you that , you are paying them to tell you that , they will tell you what you want to hear and what will give them more billable tine, but the reality is in the uk it’s nit that common. Ask the for case law examples that are the same as your situation
"
I do trust my legal team and what they fill my head with. I have examples of cases similiar to mine. I have all my receipts for a year and a half of what I spent on the kids. |
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I went through this year's ago, it was a painful part of my life. I had my son 4 days a week and payed maintenance, I started a new relationship and my ex wife suddenly said she wanted full custody. 6 months later I had him 7 days a week and the CSA forced his mother to pay me maintenance. So stick with it, stay calm and polite but stand up for yourself and your child. |
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By *udosMan
over a year ago
hull |
It's a very sad fact that children are used as weapons to deliver heart wrenching hurt.
Been through this myself.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do as the parent looking after the child has complete control.
Right or wrong they are seen as the controlling parent and any access is at their convenience.
Breaks my heart every day.
Not seen my daughters in many years and bringing tears to my eyes writing this.
I feel for you buddy
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be a proper father and go for 50% custody and never have to pay her a penny again
My ex is angling for 50/50 custody of our 2 just becauae he thinks he will have to pay me no maintenance. He earns 3 times more than me and gives me nothing for them.
I do not believe getting 50/50 custody means giving nothing to the other party. Maybe I am wrong but thats what my legal team have informed me.
Maybe different in Ireland. But a friend of mine had his child on the weekends and bought him clothes and toys etc to take home, he gave the judge the receipts and he didnt have to pay maintenance after that because he was doing his fair share.
That’s odd if just having weekends and buying toys - 50/50 means sharing the housing costs so 3-4 nights a week - every week , their own bedrooms at the fathers house, half towards the costs of food, transport, clothes , everything "
There might have been more to it, I dont know the full ins and outs but courts decided he was being more than a responsible parent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a very sad fact that children are used as weapons to deliver heart wrenching hurt.
Been through this myself.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do as the parent looking after the child has complete control.
Right or wrong they are seen as the controlling parent and any access is at their convenience.
Breaks my heart every day.
Not seen my daughters in many years and bringing tears to my eyes writing this.
I feel for you buddy
"
Wow, sorry bud must be hard |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks to everyone for the kind words and advice,really means a lot.
It's just hard not seeing my child and it's really affecting me.
I do my best for my kids and i'm made out to be a bad dad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel sorry for this kind of woman. I stopped hating because it damages your own soul.
I have lived this and in the end decided to remove myself completely from their life.The games they play are soul destroying.
Good luck OP
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If your on the birth certificate you have 50/50 rights now! Take her to court! Don't go round guns blazing etc if police get involved that goes against you! Keep messages everything but always be polite etc as hard as that is! You will be surprised how much there for the men now days! Aslomg as a court sees you have done everything to see your child they will give you joint custody! I have seen dads given full cos mums have stopped dads for there own selfish reasons! |
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