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The best shag on fab thread...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you’re the kind of person that posts on threads without actually reading them please post here and tell us all about your tremendous sexual prowess you utter buffoon...
Alternatively you could post a short anecdote about any experience you’ve had at a zoo.
I like zoo’s and my favourite zoo inhabitants are giraffes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m really good at the sex.
One time I fed an elephant and it was the bestest day ever. The only photo I have of it is me ugly crying and it’s up in my mums house because she likes the elephant. |
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"I’m really good at the sex.
One time I fed an elephant and it was the bestest day ever. The only photo I have of it is me ugly crying and it’s up in my mums house because she likes the elephant. "
 that's adorable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went the zoo with my friends and their kids, we were looking through at the monkeys when one appeared from nowhere, aggressively wanked and then flicked its monkey fat at the couple stood next to us. Ever since we have renamed the act known as a spiderman to that of a Portuguese Monkey. |
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"If you’re the kind of person that posts on threads without actually reading them please post here and tell us all about your tremendous sexual prowess you utter buffoon...
Alternatively you could post a short anecdote about any experience you’ve had at a zoo.
I like zoo’s and my favourite zoo inhabitants are giraffes "
I'm ambivalent about zoos
I'm an advocate of conservation not so much caging ?
I do not visit zoos |
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... oh. I've hand fed kangaroos in a petting zoo section of a "big things" attraction in Queensland (Google big things Australia... I don't know how to explain). If you don't make any sudden moves they're actually really gentle. |
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"... oh. I've hand fed kangaroos in a petting zoo section of a "big things" attraction in Queensland (Google big things Australia... I don't know how to explain). If you don't make any sudden moves they're actually really gentle."
Ahh I heard you liked heavy petting
Kangaroos is just kinky though  |
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I enjoy a day at the zoo, although not one for cages, unfortunately it is a necessity to help the species survive as we’ve destroyed their habitat or some just hunt for fun.
So many great memories from visits, but two stand out; feeding the giraffes early morning; and feeding some parrots but one of them took more of a taste liking to my lads ear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Went to a safari park once and the deer I was feeding stuck its head in through the car window and covered me in drool.
Favourite experience at a normal zoo was when I saw a baby lemur cuddling its mama and my heart exploded.
I also once went on a second date to Bird World near Camberley and it was the Best. Date. Ever. I fucking love birds so much. There was a petting zoo area and we spend the afternoon cuddling baby goats, it was immense. Bit weird being surrounded by families with little kids though  |
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"... oh. I've hand fed kangaroos in a petting zoo section of a "big things" attraction in Queensland (Google big things Australia... I don't know how to explain). If you don't make any sudden moves they're actually really gentle.
Ahh I heard you liked heavy petting
Kangaroos is just kinky though "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I approve of conservation work done by zoos (Chester Zoo impressed me) and of animal rescue (of maltreated animals from Eastern European zoos to Yorkshire Wildlife Park, for instance) but hate to see animals sad or lonely.
A miserable big cat pacing a small enclosure is heartbreaking. |
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By *ljamMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
Once looked into the auburn eyes of a monkey at Edinburgh zoo and felt a tremendous swell of empathy. Two autonomous spirits sharing that flickering, delicate moment of combined consciousness which transcends biological mechanics. Felt like a truly special instant in my life.
Looked down and it was wanking furiously. |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
I went to Twycross Zoo on a trip with my sons preschool years ago. There was a super loud thumping noise reverberating round about a third of the zoo, like some kind of super heavy duty construction hammering. As we got nearer the sound, it turned out it was two giant tortoises fucking. He was thrusting about every 5 seconds and letting out this earth trembling prehistoric groan each time.
A few questions had to be answered that day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once looked into the auburn eyes of a monkey at Edinburgh zoo and felt a tremendous swell of empathy. Two autonomous spirits sharing that flickering, delicate moment of combined consciousness which transcends biological mechanics. Felt like a truly special instant in my life.
Looked down and it was wanking furiously. "
I just laughed out loud at that.. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I do love a good zoo, and by that I mean one where the animals are well looked after, but by far my favourite place is Monkey World. Such a wonderful place and they do amazing work all over the world.
And I'm so lucky to live right near both Exmoor Zoo and Combe Martin Wildlife (and dinosaur but that's just weird) Park |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"I’m really good at the sex.
One time I fed an elephant and it was the bestest day ever. The only photo I have of it is me ugly crying and it’s up in my mums house because she likes the elephant. "
"feeding the elephant"? Not heard that euphamism before and not sure why your Mum would want a picture of you doing it  |
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By *91kMan
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"Pretty much live in a zoo.. That count?
This!
One word.
Teenagers! 
Jo.Xx
"
Ha! Don't have that problem... This zoo has less grumpy/bored animals and more hairy/cumbersome ones!
Wouldn't have it any other way though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I prefer an aquarium to a zoo
Oh me too 
I find them so soothing!
The otters stink though "
Now who is the stalker eh?! And there are other aquariums I might visit.
But yes, you're right. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Was out in the good old US of A few years ago and they had Siberian tiger cubs outside a mall.
To help pay for the conservative you were allowed to hold one and have a photograph taken, for a price of course.
We were told to hold them by the nape as their mothers do and they just go to sleep.
L thought she might be hurting the one she was holding and supported it’s bum.
Talk about all hell being let loose...
Luckily no one was hurt in the filming. |
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"Once looked into the auburn eyes of a monkey at Edinburgh zoo and felt a tremendous swell of empathy. Two autonomous spirits sharing that flickering, delicate moment of combined consciousness which transcends biological mechanics. Felt like a truly special instant in my life.
Looked down and it was wanking furiously. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a blow job in the wolf enclosure at Longleat that one time.... 
Wolf pervert "
Ikr, it felt great on a cold quiet day but also a bit wrong. Like dangerous but wrong...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a blow job in the wolf enclosure at Longleat that one time....
Is that why your username is nippy? "
I'm not really sure why my username is nippy tbh, it's a step up from Xperia I guess... |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I am awesome at sex. 
My most memorable experience was holding a boa constrictor at the Isle of Wight Zoo.
Otters may smell but they are so much fun to watch!
And who doesn’t love a beaver?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a blow job in the wolf enclosure at Longleat that one time....
Is that why your username is nippy?
I'm not really sure why my username is nippy tbh, it's a step up from Xperia I guess... "
It was a tooth joke... Because wolf have sharp teeth... That they like to bite meaty things with... I'm here all evening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a blow job in the wolf enclosure at Longleat that one time....
Is that why your username is nippy?
I'm not really sure why my username is nippy tbh, it's a step up from Xperia I guess...
It was a tooth joke... Because wolf have sharp teeth... That they like to bite meaty things with... I'm here all evening "
Haha, I got that, sorry I should have clapped....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tender Bollocks my favourite animal is a giraffe too.
I used to have an adopted one at Whipsnade.
As for my sexual prowess. My talent is to know it is best not to inflict myself upon men  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Please can I talk about a safari or does it have to be just zoos? I have many happy memories from Woburn Safari and Whipsnade Zoo. I remember wanting to see the penguins feeding time really badly but throwing up outside it (probably a mix of the smell and me eating too many sweets ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please can I talk about a safari or does it have to be just zoos? I have many happy memories from Woburn Safari and Whipsnade Zoo. I remember wanting to see the penguins feeding time really badly but throwing up outside it (probably a mix of the smell and me eating too many sweets )"
Meli Whipsnade is but a mere drive from mine and they do overnight stays in the grounds to see the animals at night. Well they did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone else noticed how scary goats are? Just saying. Freaked me out totally when I used to take my daughter to the local petting zoo "
That is why they are Gruff Billy Goats |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone else noticed how scary goats are? Just saying. Freaked me out totally when I used to take my daughter to the local petting zoo
Google fainting goats. "
How strange are they. Like they have just come out of the pub after too many
I do now want a Nigerian dwarf goat |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Has anyone else noticed how scary goats are? Just saying. Freaked me out totally when I used to take my daughter to the local petting zoo "
I hate goats. That scene in Drag Me To Hell confirmed my fear of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone else noticed how scary goats are? Just saying. Freaked me out totally when I used to take my daughter to the local petting zoo
Google fainting goats.
How strange are they. Like they have just come out of the pub after too many
I do now want a Nigerian dwarf goat "
Bebe goats in jumpers though! I would love a bebe goat in a jumper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone else noticed how scary goats are? Just saying. Freaked me out totally when I used to take my daughter to the local petting zoo
Google fainting goats.
How strange are they. Like they have just come out of the pub after too many
I do now want a Nigerian dwarf goat
Bebe goats in jumpers though! I would love a bebe goat in a jumper "
We will ask someone to treat you to one. They are gorgeous aren't they. |
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