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Married people struggling through lockdown?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So who’s married and struggling through lockdown? Genuine post! Assume it will attract those on the moral high ground we’re soo used to ignoring. If you disapprove please move on.. we don’t judge you either 
All I’m saying is it’s been tough... |
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Its been really tough. Especially after finding out hubby cheated on me throughout Jan after 5 months of marriage and I decided to let him stay. I found myself back on fab because its familiar from before my marriage. Yeah, tough times  loving life! Lol. How are you OP? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So who’s married and struggling through lockdown? Genuine post! Assume it will attract those on the moral high ground we’re soo used to ignoring. If you disapprove please move on.. we don’t judge you either
All I’m saying is it’s been tough..."
Have you asked your wife for her input? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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God well I thought I wondered if it was just me... but you seem to have had the the majority of crap! I’m sorry! Me.. I’m back here.. do we ever escape? Can we replace the buzz? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So who’s married and struggling through lockdown? Genuine post! Assume it will attract those on the moral high ground we’re soo used to ignoring. If you disapprove please move on.. we don’t judge you either
All I’m saying is it’s been tough...
Have you asked your wife for her input?"
No. Not what this is about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have found it very difficult. Lots of arguments, early on. Found a happy ish medium.
Footy is back now too so a bonus  "
Your sleeping into the garden also? |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"Its been really tough. Especially after finding out hubby cheated on me throughout Jan after 5 months of marriage and I decided to let him stay. I found myself back on fab because its familiar from before my marriage. Yeah, tough times loving life! Lol. How are you OP? "
That’s tough but life is life sadly ... hopefully all will
Work out for you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would guess that you normally only spend a solid two weeks maximum together a year when you go on holiday so 13 weeks will be tough on anyone.
And this isn't judgemental but you need to put buzz in to get buzz back I would have thought. |
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I'm used to Mr M being away nearly half the year working. So yes it is tough, adapting is tough and then throwing the kids into the mix puts a strain on things. You can only do what you are doing, making the most of it. Stay strong x |
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"I have found it very difficult. Lots of arguments, early on. Found a happy ish medium.
Footy is back now too so a bonus
Your sleeping into the garden also?"
Just going to bed much later than she does  |
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I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that. |
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"Yeah. Put buz in.. she doesn’t feel attractive.. no buzz comes out. It’s pushing me away. "
Women need to feel loved to enjoy sex, Men need sex to feel loved.
You could replace "love" with attractive/happy/etc.
People focus in when they have too much time on their hands. Weight, skin, muscle tone all become targets for self-criticism. You may genuinely disagree and not see why she cannot see it. That then becomes the source of the argument.
Break the cycle, show her you give a shit, and mean it (no sex strings attached) and she will give it back in return  |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
If your not happy your not happy, virus or not... if you were you would not moan as you both would talk and sort the issues out. Simple and i know exactly how it feels when your not happy but so fucked off you can’t be arsed sorting anything out anymore. Leave and move in if it comes to that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried. "
Why does she feel unattractive? Do you think she might not feel your putting the effort in and then that in turn self perpetuates the whole thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This place always surprises me. One one side it’s so very shallow. And another the opposite.
I’m an articulate & educated chap. I understand psychology to a certain point.. she’s drifting away and I fear I can’t reach the rope. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This place always surprises me. One one side it’s so very shallow. And another the opposite.
I’m an articulate & educated chap. I understand psychology to a certain point.. she’s drifting away and I fear I can’t reach the rope. "
Maybe she's discovered Fab? |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that. "
I joined Fab for the same reasons as you, 2 years ago. I was lucky that there was no Covid 19 then so managed to meet amazing people in that time. It does take a lot of courage to stay. And I agree- some men/women just want more... I would have been ok with an open relationship if he’d been honest to me from the beginning.
Re marriage and lockdown- we’re actually getting on ok! we have lunch together and we go out for a run after his work. We’ve always enjoyed each other’s company do it’s no hardship really. Sex is scarce but that’s always been the case... good job my sex drive has plummeted. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This place always surprises me. One one side it’s so very shallow. And another the opposite.
I’m an articulate & educated chap. I understand psychology to a certain point.. she’s drifting away and I fear I can’t reach the rope.
Maybe she's discovered Fab?"
I wish lol |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that.
I joined Fab for the same reasons as you, 2 years ago. I was lucky that there was no Covid 19 then so managed to meet amazing people in that time. It does take a lot of courage to stay. And I agree- some men/women just want more... I would have been ok with an open relationship if he’d been honest to me from the beginning.
Re marriage and lockdown- we’re actually getting on ok! we have lunch together and we go out for a run after his work. We’ve always enjoyed each other’s company do it’s no hardship really. Sex is scarce but that’s always been the case... good job my sex drive has plummeted. "
So long as you both are happy all is good |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that.
I joined Fab for the same reasons as you, 2 years ago. I was lucky that there was no Covid 19 then so managed to meet amazing people in that time. It does take a lot of courage to stay. And I agree- some men/women just want more... I would have been ok with an open relationship if he’d been honest to me from the beginning.
Re marriage and lockdown- we’re actually getting on ok! we have lunch together and we go out for a run after his work. We’ve always enjoyed each other’s company do it’s no hardship really. Sex is scarce but that’s always been the case... good job my sex drive has plummeted. "
Maybe this is as good as it can get. |
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If the rope is there, you can chase it, or you can be the person she fell for and pull yourselves back together.
Enough metaphors. As said earlier. Communication is key. Lots of things affect how well that works. You wouldnt give a rational discussion on BLM just after dropping a brick on your foot. Likewise lockdown is not normal for ANYONE. Gently tackling in a safe way when pressure subsides elsewhere. Cut yourselves some slack rather than the rope
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If the rope is there, you can chase it, or you can be the person she fell for and pull yourselves back together.
Enough metaphors. As said earlier. Communication is key. Lots of things affect how well that works. You wouldnt give a rational discussion on BLM just after dropping a brick on your foot. Likewise lockdown is not normal for ANYONE. Gently tackling in a safe way when pressure subsides elsewhere. Cut yourselves some slack rather than the rope
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No I’m serious.. she’s fucked off on a boat and... meh.
I get it. Thankyou for not just calling me a jerk. |
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Hi OP, hope you are well.
Cut yourself both some slack, you’ve so much going on. Take a step back, go back to basics, have a date night, make her feel special, appreciated, a simple thing like making dinner and just chatting, laughing with no agenda.
Hope you figure it out  |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"If the rope is there, you can chase it, or you can be the person she fell for and pull yourselves back together.
Enough metaphors. As said earlier. Communication is key. Lots of things affect how well that works. You wouldnt give a rational discussion on BLM just after dropping a brick on your foot. Likewise lockdown is not normal for ANYONE. Gently tackling in a safe way when pressure subsides elsewhere. Cut yourselves some slack rather than the rope
No I’m serious.. she’s fucked off on a boat and... meh.
I get it. Thankyou for not just calling me a jerk. "
Guess that’s why ‘she drifted away’
TC fella x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi OP, hope you are well.
Cut yourself both some slack, you’ve so much going on. Take a step back, go back to basics, have a date night, make her feel special, appreciated, a simple thing like making dinner and just chatting, laughing with no agenda.
Hope you figure it out "
So do I spurs. Hope your well all considering x |
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We, that's us and two grown up kids, have all been back living together in the same house again. It has brought its strains, but we are all learning to live with each other again. For me, Andy, it's the longest I have lived at home for years! Biggest issue for us as a couple is no privacy even to talk ourselves most of the time.
It's certainly not been a bad time for us. But we very much appreciate that we have probably been lucky as a family during this. |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that. "
oh dear revenge sex isnt great I feel for u I do, but if u chose to stay with him then u have to find a way to accept it if you cant then u need to move on , but revenge sex idnt the answer , no matter how hard your finding it x |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"Yeah. Put buz in.. she doesn’t feel attractive.. no buzz comes out. It’s pushing me away.
Women need to feel loved to enjoy sex, Men need sex to feel loved.
You could replace "love" with attractive/happy/etc.
People focus in when they have too much time on their hands. Weight, skin, muscle tone all become targets for self-criticism. You may genuinely disagree and not see why she cannot see it. That then becomes the source of the argument.
Break the cycle, show her you give a shit, and mean it (no sex strings attached) and she will give it back in return "
I agree with you in part. But I've been on the other side of the coin where I had a husband who wasn't interested. It wasn't through lack of attention, excitement or loving on my part.
People are complex creatures and I think to say do X and she/he will respond is very simplistic.
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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago
Leeds + Newcastle |
Longest we've ever been solidly together is 3.5 weeks but on holiday you have external stimulus and being out and about.
We've managed well so far and only had the usual small inconsequential bickers.
We're both sick of the sight of each other a bit so we keep sitting in different rooms.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder |
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I imagine that for married people who find their emotional or sexual release outside of their relationship lockdown has been really difficult. It isn't always the fault of the person who looks outside, sometimes they're driven to it for one reason or another. |
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"Marriage wise everything is fine & nothing has changed as both been working. It’s the kids/home schooling/food bill/boredom that’s the issue
J x"
Same here. Just gets on top of us somedays and we bicker a bit. Doesn't help not having any time on our own and also missing having fun with other people. Overall though we are doing well really x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Marriage not really changed. Both key workers so out as normal. Balancing the home schooling with the kids has been the more stressful part.
Weekends have been tougher though. Trying to force conversation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a slightly different way - I deal with DV survivors (SW) It's got way too busy for my job. Just awful out there at the moment and seems to be getting worse x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I couldn't have found anything better than spending lockdown with my husband. I guess if you're on here as a couple then that makes a difference to those who are cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I imagine that for married people who find their emotional or sexual release outside of their relationship lockdown has been really difficult. It isn't always the fault of the person who looks outside, sometimes they're driven to it for one reason or another. "
Our question is have they tried talking before they look elsewhere?
Most are too selfish to be honest we find and simply use the situation as an excuse to cheat. |
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