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Mad shit which your parents said
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"Get down lad, y'gonna crack y'ed open.".
"Right then! Up the dancers!"
"You'll 'av someone's eye out with that!"
"Don't sit so close, you'll get square eyes."
"It's alright, jus' chuch it on the dechhh".
"I'm sikka shit stroon all over the dechhh".
Mum I can't fine such and such... "Open y'eyes then"..
Any others? Ha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stop rolly-pollying down the stairs!
Don’t test your reflexes by playing with your hand and the fireplace!
And when I got older (and even now at 34!) my mum uses this :-
We didn't circumsise you for religious reasons, it was purely a matter that they look prettier and make you last longer
Thanks mum! Each time you talk about my lack of a foreskin it gets no less awkward! |
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"Stop rolly-pollying down the stairs!
Don’t test your reflexes by playing with your hand and the fireplace!
And when I got older (and even now at 34!) my mum uses this :-
We didn't circumsise you for religious reasons, it was purely a matter that they look prettier and make you last longer
Thanks mum! Each time you talk about my lack of a foreskin it gets no less awkward!"
If my dad mentions my conception one more time  |
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No matter how poorly I felt "get your backside into school, if you're that ill they'll send you home again"
I dread to think of how many viruses I must've spread round that school, like some little plague rat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the wind changes you'll stick like that.
I say to my sons "I am your god.... I gave brought you into the world and I shall be the one to take you out of it"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let the dog see the rabbit.
You berk
Money don't grow on trees
It's not lady like to swear
If the wind changes your face will stay like that
Let the dog see the rabbit. What does that mean?  "
Allow someone to see something. Normally he was trying to put the key in the door and we were in the way |
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"Let the dog see the rabbit.
You berk
Money don't grow on trees
It's not lady like to swear
If the wind changes your face will stay like that
Let the dog see the rabbit. What does that mean?
Allow someone to see something. Normally he was trying to put the key in the door and we were in the way "
Oh got you...thanks |
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"Never trust a man of God!
He had a strict catholic upbringing and we now he experienced things he never spoke about.  "
He also use to say to my brother never marry a woman with big hands, I never knew what the hell he was on about? But all has become clear! |
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‘You know what thought did’
Nope can’t say I did, and never found out because that was the conversation closed down.
‘You’ll get what your given’
Another good conversation closer.
In response to ‘Where did you go?’ , ‘Where have you been?’
‘There and back to see how far it was’  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“Were you born in a barn?“
“That’ll put hairs on your chest.”
“Watch out if the wind changes, your face might stay like that.”
“You’ll be laughing on the other side If your face.”
“I’ll wash your mouth out with soap.”
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Mum to Dad "Don't eat with your mouth open"
Dad then gets a forkful of food, puts it up to his closed mouth, wiggles it around, food falls on to plate. Then says:
"But look, it doesn't work"
They are in their eighties and still married ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're either IN or you're OUT. Make your mind up and stick to it.
I know that you're lying because your eyes changed colour.
That song on the ice cream van means they've run out of ice cream.
Jack's mum say's this, Jack's mum does that, Jack's mum lets Jack do everything! Fine, if Jack's mum is so bloody wonderful why don't you pack your stuff and go live with her? |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
"The comedian Jeff Green says when he was a kid his parent told him that the ice cream van played a tune to let people know it had run out of ice cream. "
I used to tell my kids it was the fish van  |
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