FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > worst day of my life
worst day of my life
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
 | |||
"Brother I have no words. I hope you somehow eventually find comfort in whatever way that may be "Thank you, although finding comfort doesn't seem like it will ever be found the way I'm feeling atm | |||
| |||
| |||
"Ah fuck. I’m sorry. That’s so shitty. Life can be so bloody cruel. But just so you know - you’re a good fucking dad "Don't feel like it atm, im dredding Friday when I go pick up my other 3 as I know she will be there wondering why daddy isn't taking her as well | |||
| |||
"today has been the worst day of my life so far, when I got home from work I was greeted with the DNA test results I sent off awhile ago after being told that 1 of my 4 children might not be mine.... i have 2 boys and 2 girls and today found out that my youngest girl (7 years old this weekend) is not actually mine I feel like I've lost someone but the pain will always be there as I still have to pick up my other 3 every weekend and will continue to see my other daughter, yes I say other daughter as I've grown a bond with her just as I have with my other 3, but now her mother is refusing any access to her and is seeking her "real" father. I cant stop crying and really don't know what to do. Sorry for dampning the mood of everyone else in here but I had to just type all this out as it still doesn't feel real" Ahh dude that's heart breaking  I hope her mother rethinks and let's you see her regardless.
Biological or not, you've raised her from birth! A bond is a bond
Stay strong mate | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"today has been the worst day of my life so far, when I got home from work I was greeted with the DNA test results I sent off awhile ago after being told that 1 of my 4 children might not be mine.... i have 2 boys and 2 girls and today found out that my youngest girl (7 years old this weekend) is not actually mine I feel like I've lost someone but the pain will always be there as I still have to pick up my other 3 every weekend and will continue to see my other daughter, yes I say other daughter as I've grown a bond with her just as I have with my other 3, but now her mother is refusing any access to her and is seeking her "real" father. I cant stop crying and really don't know what to do. Sorry for dampning the mood of everyone else in here but I had to just type all this out as it still doesn't feel real" Ahh man, really sorry. Shit situation for sure. Are you on the birth certificate? Because if so then access shouldn't be any issue at all, though you have to go through mediation before the courts get involved usually which can be a waste of time. Really hope things work out for you! | |||
Have you got someone from the real outside world you can talk to about it and maybe formulate a plan of action with their support? I'm sure your girl misses you as much as you miss her....
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"today has been the worst day of my life so far, when I got home from work I was greeted with the DNA test results I sent off awhile ago after being told that 1 of my 4 children might not be mine.... i have 2 boys and 2 girls and today found out that my youngest girl (7 years old this weekend) is not actually mine I feel like I've lost someone but the pain will always be there as I still have to pick up my other 3 every weekend and will continue to see my other daughter, yes I say other daughter as I've grown a bond with her just as I have with my other 3, but now her mother is refusing any access to her and is seeking her "real" father. I cant stop crying and really don't know what to do. Sorry for dampning the mood of everyone else in here but I had to just type all this out as it still doesn't feel real" I have no words, just cannot imagine the pain you are going through, heartbreaking And how awful for your little girl, yes she is yours, you are the man she calls Dad...You raised her. That is something that can never be taken away from you. Stay strong, take care of yourself and take advice... | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Ah fuck. I’m sorry. That’s so shitty. Life can be so bloody cruel. But just so you know - you’re a good fucking dad
Don't feel like it atm, im dredding Friday when I go pick up my other 3 as I know she will be there wondering why daddy isn't taking her as well"...jesus, that is harrowing. I'm sorry, man.  | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"If the mother refuses to let you see your daughter because that’s who she is, take it to court and ask for contact. The courts will consider your daughter’s feelings and wishes in this situation and decide what’s right for her. Good luck xx" Doesn’t always help, a woman scorned can be very stubborn and courts are slow to act in the tine it takes then to finally enforce it can be too late and will cost a fortune . Better to sort it yourself, speaking from experience | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
"today has been the worst day of my life so far, when I got home from work I was greeted with the DNA test results I sent off awhile ago after being told that 1 of my 4 children might not be mine.... i have 2 boys and 2 girls and today found out that my youngest girl (7 years old this weekend) is not actually mine I feel like I've lost someone but the pain will always be there as I still have to pick up my other 3 every weekend and will continue to see my other daughter, yes I say other daughter as I've grown a bond with her just as I have with my other 3, but now her mother is refusing any access to her and is seeking her "real" father. I cant stop crying and really don't know what to do. Sorry for dampning the mood of everyone else in here but I had to just type all this out as it still doesn't feel real" My dear sir if you have brought that child up and she see you as her father she will always be your daughter. My heart goes out to you, I wish you all the best and keep strong | |||
"One less Christmas present... ... every cloud " Ouch | |||
"One less Christmas present... ... every cloud " Ffs, there are times for humour but this is a really inappropriate & insensitive thing to say under the circumstances. | |||
| |||
"One less Christmas present... ... every cloud " Normally I ignore shit and nonsense on the forum but this comment is out of order and I am not afraid to call someone out for it. Her | |||
"One less Christmas present... ... every cloud " 
What a horrible thing to say.
| |||
"Remember that being a father is not the same as being a dad. You're her dad- you brought her up. You're there when she needs you. You're the one who loves her. There are are plenty of fathers who have never been good enough to be a dad." Well said | |||
"Brother, I have some advice for you. I've been through.. Stuff. First, don't get wankered. Have a drink, have 2 but don't go mad it won't help. Second, in your phone somewhere you'll have a number for someone who isn't involved and isn't family. Someone who's opinion you trust. Make contact, start a conversation. If it all spills out, fine that's the point. Now, your attachment to this child is made from strong stuff, it's the good days, the funny moments, the favourite story, the cake you made together. That's what they know of you. How about this as a possible tactic.. A version of it worked for me in a sort of similar child access issue. Don't make an enemy of the mother, rather try and explain that you're hurting and struggling to cope with this new reality as well. Lest we forget you're not the bad guy here after all? By not being angry, by dealing with your own hurt any way you can without causing more anger from her.. You leave the door open for future communication and therefore access to your child. As for lawyers and courts.. Unless you get dragged into a case against your will, I'd suggest trying everything else first. Why? Well if you've got rights now, you've got em. Solicitors courts and that entails equals more bills, more time and probably mosylt important.. more stress you don't need. It's jarring and shocking and to be Honest, a fucking horrible nightmare being prevented from seeing your little one. But remember this.. There will be a time when the mother either finds said father, who by the sounds of it doesn't know.. And there's a percentage chance won't want to know. Or doesn't find him or doest even try to find him. So where does that leave you?, well as you've stayed friendly to the mum as you must, being the great dad you are,, you are already in the best position to continue your parental relationship with the child. You don't need a court to get what you want. I'm just saying, we always go for the jugular us dad's.. We always explode at the mere suggestion of anything that might harm our kids.. In this case, might there be an easier way to get what you want. Can't say it'll be quick or easy, but it don't cost you penny 1 and in the long run, probably in better mental health. Good luck brother. " So sorry to hear your news op, this post here is great advice. As someone whe has been through similar, I have a couple of other hopefully useful tips. Get through each day as it comes. Your kids need you so don't do anything you might regret. You have to stay strong for yourself as much as them. Second, don't make an enemy of your ex. Like it or not precedent in this country almost always favours the mum. Be prepared for a long journey... Mine took over 7 years. Its a long road. Get yourself an advocate as quick as you can as you're going to need a sensible friend when you are unable to see things clearly. Lastly, have a bloody good cry if you feel like it. Kudos to you for having the courage to reach out to this community. I hope things get a little better for you. | |||
"Brother, I have some advice for you. I've been through.. Stuff. First, don't get wankered. Have a drink, have 2 but don't go mad it won't help. Second, in your phone somewhere you'll have a number for someone who isn't involved and isn't family. Someone who's opinion you trust. Make contact, start a conversation. If it all spills out, fine that's the point. Now, your attachment to this child is made from strong stuff, it's the good days, the funny moments, the favourite story, the cake you made together. That's what they know of you. How about this as a possible tactic.. A version of it worked for me in a sort of similar child access issue. Don't make an enemy of the mother, rather try and explain that you're hurting and struggling to cope with this new reality as well. Lest we forget you're not the bad guy here after all? By not being angry, by dealing with your own hurt any way you can without causing more anger from her.. You leave the door open for future communication and therefore access to your child. As for lawyers and courts.. Unless you get dragged into a case against your will, I'd suggest trying everything else first. Why? Well if you've got rights now, you've got em. Solicitors courts and that entails equals more bills, more time and probably mosylt important.. more stress you don't need. It's jarring and shocking and to be Honest, a fucking horrible nightmare being prevented from seeing your little one. But remember this.. There will be a time when the mother either finds said father, who by the sounds of it doesn't know.. And there's a percentage chance won't want to know. Or doesn't find him or doest even try to find him. So where does that leave you?, well as you've stayed friendly to the mum as you must, being the great dad you are,, you are already in the best position to continue your parental relationship with the child. You don't need a court to get what you want. I'm just saying, we always go for the jugular us dad's.. We always explode at the mere suggestion of anything that might harm our kids.. In this case, might there be an easier way to get what you want. Can't say it'll be quick or easy, but it don't cost you penny 1 and in the long run, probably in better mental health. Good luck brother. So sorry to hear your news op, this post here is great advice. As someone whe has been through similar, I have a couple of other hopefully useful tips. Get through each day as it comes. Your kids need you so don't do anything you might regret. You have to stay strong for yourself as much as them. Second, don't make an enemy of your ex. Like it or not precedent in this country almost always favours the mum. Be prepared for a long journey... Mine took over 7 years. Its a long road. Get yourself an advocate as quick as you can as you're going to need a sensible friend when you are unable to see things clearly. Lastly, have a bloody good cry if you feel like it. Kudos to you for having the courage to reach out to this community. I hope things get a little better for you. " Both these posts are great advice. The stress of going to court, not to mention the expense, is better avoided if you possibly can. I would say that it's probably worth getting one appointment with a solicitor who can tell you where you legally stand, just to be prepared if you do have to go down that route. Kids are well aware when shit is going on. Just let all your kids know that you love them all, support them all and are there for them all, that as far as you are concerned that test doesn't change your love for them. It's a heartbreaking situation and I hope you and the mum find a way to resolve it. | |||
| |||
| |||
"One less Christmas present... ... every cloud Ffs, there are times for humour but this is a really inappropriate & insensitive thing to say under the circumstances. " Thank you Jsm.... originally reply was in very poor taste and doesn't help the way im feeling in the slightest, i will always buy her both christmas and birthday presents, just because she is not my blood daughter, she IS still my daughter and that will never change. Part of me hopes the batch ex will either never find the real biological father or he will want nothing to do with her, that way I can and will continue to have them ALL of a weekend | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
 | |||
"ok everyone, firstly I would like to say a big thank you to each and every one of you (except 1). Today I had been beating myself up waiting for the hardest thing I would have to do (pick up 3 of my kids and leave one behind) but I was taken aback when I got to the ex's house to find all 4 of them with bags packed and ready for me! I dont know who, how what or why she changed her mind but im so thankful she did (she is still a bitch in my eyes though!) 1 very happy daddy tonight "This is excellent news. | |||
| |||
"ok everyone, firstly I would like to say a big thank you to each and every one of you (except 1). Today I had been beating myself up waiting for the hardest thing I would have to do (pick up 3 of my kids and leave one behind) but I was taken aback when I got to the ex's house to find all 4 of them with bags packed and ready for me! I dont know who, how what or why she changed her mind but im so thankful she did (she is still a bitch in my eyes though!) 1 very happy daddy tonight
This is excellent news. "Its better than excellent, its the perfect result for me and more importantly my youngest daughter! | |||
| |||
"Excellent news sir, happy it’s worked out for you .have a fabulous weekend with your family." Thank you | |||
| |||
"ok everyone, firstly I would like to say a big thank you to each and every one of you (except 1). Today I had been beating myself up waiting for the hardest thing I would have to do (pick up 3 of my kids and leave one behind) but I was taken aback when I got to the ex's house to find all 4 of them with bags packed and ready for me! I dont know who, how what or why she changed her mind but im so thankful she did (she is still a bitch in my eyes though!) 1 very happy daddy tonight "That's great news. Probably don't feel like it but something nice for the ex for making your weekend might help it be more than a one off. Its a long road but enjoy the good times while you can. | |||
| |||
"That’s amazing. Just try and keep a cool head and be tidy even if she acts like a dick. That kid can’t feel left out, she is yours and it’s not her fault. " I'm not going to spoil her any more than I spoil any of my kids, I would hate for the other 3 to pick up on it and wonder why I'm doing it! | |||
"ok everyone, firstly I would like to say a big thank you to each and every one of you (except 1). Today I had been beating myself up waiting for the hardest thing I would have to do (pick up 3 of my kids and leave one behind) but I was taken aback when I got to the ex's house to find all 4 of them with bags packed and ready for me! I dont know who, how what or why she changed her mind but im so thankful she did (she is still a bitch in my eyes though!) 1 very happy daddy tonight
This is excellent news.
Its better than excellent, its the perfect result for me and more importantly my youngest daughter! "
Great news! | |||
| |||
"That’s amazing. Just try and keep a cool head and be tidy even if she acts like a dick. That kid can’t feel left out, she is yours and it’s not her fault. I'm not going to spoil her any more than I spoil any of my kids, I would hate for the other 3 to pick up on it and wonder why I'm doing it! " I didn’t say to spoil her more. | |||
| |||
