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Strangest meet!
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"I wanked while he played candy crush on his phone.
Oddly we never met again.
Did he have the sound on? "
Yes. I was using an unsubtle vibrator that sounds like a lawnmower when it gets going, he turned the volume up on his phone.
I eventually figured the voice on the game saying "sweet" and "delicious" was all the encouragement I was going to get, so I went with it.
Not going to lie, it wasn't a great weekend and that was a fitting end to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mate did tell me that she met someone who instead of fucking them, they just told her their whole life story and then had a huge cry. She was traumatised |
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"I wanked while he played candy crush on his phone.
Oddly we never met again.
I read about that, you tell it well! I'm a big fan of your writing  "
Thank you, it was a grim weekend but it makes for a great story  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mate did tell me that she met someone who instead of fucking them, they just told her their whole life story and then had a huge cry. She was traumatised
That's a bad one..."
Yeah  and she’s only my age bless, isn’t a swinger and was just on here for sex (she’s left now, had a boyfriend  ) but I reckon it scarred her for life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wanked while he played candy crush on his phone.
Oddly we never met again.
Did he have the sound on?
Yes. I was using an unsubtle vibrator that sounds like a lawnmower when it gets going, he turned the volume up on his phone.
I eventually figured the voice on the game saying "sweet" and "delicious" was all the encouragement I was going to get, so I went with it.
Not going to lie, it wasn't a great weekend and that was a fitting end to it."
Well, that is rather hilarious, feel for you, but it is a story I'll remember. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mate did tell me that she met someone who instead of fucking them, they just told her their whole life story and then had a huge cry. She was traumatised "
Hey I think I've met him!
There's also the guy who hides knives under his bed... amd the one who doesn't accept women saying no to bare sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went to his gaff and whilst I was naked his dad phoned and they had a full on row
By the time the row ended I'd already dressed and left."
Insert your new profile pic (loving it) here, MacLass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even though I had clearly stated only protected sex when it came to and I got the condom he completely had a go at me for "ruining the moment" and got dressed and left. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !! |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!"
You do it then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met someone for a strictly no sex social....
I show up to Starbucks after the gym with protein shake in hand... She is waiting for me in a full business suit.....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!"
Seriously bet that put you right in the mood  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wanked while he played candy crush on his phone.
Oddly we never met again.
Did he have the sound on?
Yes. I was using an unsubtle vibrator that sounds like a lawnmower when it gets going, he turned the volume up on his phone.
I eventually figured the voice on the game saying "sweet" and "delicious" was all the encouragement I was going to get, so I went with it.
Not going to lie, it wasn't a great weekend and that was a fitting end to it.
Well, that is rather hilarious, feel for you, but it is a story I'll remember. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wanked while he played candy crush on his phone.
Oddly we never met again."
I would not be playing on my phone while you was wanking next to me well I might be using it to film you are doing it  |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"I wanked while he played candy crush on his phone.
Oddly we never met again.
I would not be playing on my phone while you was wanking next to me well I might be using it to film you are doing it "
I know
maybe should start asking someone to come play candy crush. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!
You do it then?"
No  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!
Seriously bet that put you right in the mood "
Oh yes |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!
You do it then?
No "
If you did could’ve continued the anecdote |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!
You do it then?
No
If you did could’ve continued the anecdote "
Or i could have ended up under his patio |
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"Met someone for a strictly no sex social....
I show up to Starbucks after the gym with protein shake in hand... She is waiting for me in a full business suit.....
"
There'll be porn somewhere that starts like that |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!
You do it then?
No
If you did could’ve continued the anecdote
Or i could have ended up under his patio "
Just got to weigh up the risk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!
You do it then?
No
If you did could’ve continued the anecdote
Or i could have ended up under his patio
Just got to weigh up the risk."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few, the buffalo bill experience was the most frightening.
Met at a pub and he was took great pleasure in telling me all women on fab are slag bitches. Then the buffalo bill bit, as I decided quite quickly he was the last person I wanted to engage with, he attempted to bungle me into the back of his transit which was laden with handcuffs, canes and all other kinds of things which in the wrong hands could cause huge amounts of damage.
The last time I span and ran that fast was a fair few years earlier when my dog got out of the gate some twat had left open and pelted down the road.
P |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"I’ve just read through the comments and no one mentioned their meeting with me. Which I am taking as a win!
The thread isnt closed yet.  "
Well that’s true! I’ll be on tenterhooks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met someone who's vibrator was so loud I had to put on Candy Crush to drown it out!
"
Dead
Luckily haven’t had anyone with any sobbing stories or crying over someone else
Tho, I met some french guy for some fun one evening, he lasted about 1 minute and then he was gone...he ruined my make up and all. So strange how quick he came...he left saying he was gonna go for a smoke, never saw him again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My worst was probably just a case of being catfished. He had a verified profile but when we met he was a completely different guy. When I confronted him he said he had just lost weight....
Never known weight loss to change your teeth though!! (For the much worse!!)
He got a bit grumpy and said I was a time waster. The bouncers of the bar threw him out as he was getting too irate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wanked while he played candy crush on his phone.
Oddly we never met again.
Did he have the sound on?
Yes. I was using an unsubtle vibrator that sounds like a lawnmower when it gets going, he turned the volume up on his phone.
I eventually figured the voice on the game saying "sweet" and "delicious" was all the encouragement I was going to get, so I went with it.
Not going to lie, it wasn't a great weekend and that was a fitting end to it."
omg, I would’ve been saying delicious while I was helping you.... |
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My strangest meet was a guy that I met in his hotel room. We'd pre-arranged that he would be blindfolded and listening to music with his earphones in so he wouldn't see or hear me come in.
I arrived and all was as planned.. We acted out our scene and after he said he needed to get something from the car... That was around 5 months ago and I'm still waiting, I hope he didn't get lost
After I finished laughing I ended up inviting another friend over to enjoy the room that he'd paid for so all wasn't lost. I never did get to thank him for the room |
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One of my first meets with a couple, she was completely out of it when I walked through the door.
He said she was diabetic and crashing and 'would be fine in five.'
I didn't stay to find out.
_____
I arranged a meet with a couple in a inner city Melbourne hotel, when I got the room it was blacked out, covered in plastic and there was people in the room with neon paint all over themselves.
I was given no warning of that. |
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"There was the single guy who asked me to get in the boot of his car (rather than me park my car outside his house)so he could drive straight into his garage so that his neighbours wouldn't see me and tell his wife !!"
What a charmer! |
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really, would never have guessed