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Make me feel better please!
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So I'm officially an idiot.
Ordered pizza which just arrived. My ex locked the front door as he left earlier and I couldn't find my house key so it was left on the doorstep while I looked. I remembered that I put it in my coat pocket. My coat was in the boot of my car.
I had to phone my mother to drive over from the other side of town to rescue me from my own house.
In other news, the pizza is lovely and luckily the ants didn't get it!
Please share your silly stories with me to help me feel like less of an idiot  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I walked out of the house in non matching socks and once slippers.
I was looking for my glasses for an hour whilst having them on top of my head.. yes they were that comfy I didnt notice.
I kept two eye lenses in my eye when I started wearing them and had to go to opticians to work out why I was seeing funny. They all had a good laugh at me.
Better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh dear! Dont feel bad.. most importantly ants didnt like your toppings !
That is true, I guess that answers that age old question about whether ants like pineapple on their pizza  "
 |
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"I walked out of the house in non matching socks and once slippers.
I was looking for my glasses for an hour whilst having them on top of my head.. yes they were that comfy I didnt notice.
I kept two eye lenses in my eye when I started wearing them and had to go to opticians to work out why I was seeing funny. They all had a good laugh at me.
Better? "
Thanks Rose, much better  |
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"I set off in the car once, and realised id left my baby in the carseat in the hallway..."
Oh god, that would panic me so much. I've had a moment of panic thinking I've lost the baby then realised she was being looked after by someone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I'm officially an idiot.
Ordered pizza which just arrived. My ex locked the front door as he left earlier and I couldn't find my house key so it was left on the doorstep while I looked. I remembered that I put it in my coat pocket. My coat was in the boot of my car.
I had to phone my mother to drive over from the other side of town to rescue me from my own house.
In other news, the pizza is lovely and luckily the ants didn't get it!
Please share your silly stories with me to help me feel like less of an idiot "
'Y' are you still with your 'X'? |
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"So I'm officially an idiot.
Ordered pizza which just arrived. My ex locked the front door as he left earlier and I couldn't find my house key so it was left on the doorstep while I looked. I remembered that I put it in my coat pocket. My coat was in the boot of my car.
I had to phone my mother to drive over from the other side of town to rescue me from my own house.
In other news, the pizza is lovely and luckily the ants didn't get it!
Please share your silly stories with me to help me feel like less of an idiot
'Y' are you still with your 'X'?"
I'm not, he was visiting our children before he went to work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I'm officially an idiot.
Ordered pizza which just arrived. My ex locked the front door as he left earlier and I couldn't find my house key so it was left on the doorstep while I looked. I remembered that I put it in my coat pocket. My coat was in the boot of my car.
I had to phone my mother to drive over from the other side of town to rescue me from my own house.
In other news, the pizza is lovely and luckily the ants didn't get it!
Please share your silly stories with me to help me feel like less of an idiot
'Y' are you still with your 'X'?
I'm not, he was visiting our children before he went to work"
Phewww! That gives me hope! |
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"So I'm officially an idiot.
Ordered pizza which just arrived. My ex locked the front door as he left earlier and I couldn't find my house key so it was left on the doorstep while I looked. I remembered that I put it in my coat pocket. My coat was in the boot of my car.
I had to phone my mother to drive over from the other side of town to rescue me from my own house.
In other news, the pizza is lovely and luckily the ants didn't get it!
Please share your silly stories with me to help me feel like less of an idiot
'Y' are you still with your 'X'?
I'm not, he was visiting our children before he went to work
Phewww! That gives me hope! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been looking for my phone, and told the person I was talking to that I couldn't find it, when I was talking to them - ON MY PHONE"
I hate when that happens. |
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"I have been looking for my phone, and told the person I was talking to that I couldn't find it, when I was talking to them - ON MY PHONE"
This made me laugh! I once thought I'd lost my car keys, as I was driving the car. This was the days when the keys had to go in the ignition! |
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"Called the police thinking my car was stolen after it was missing from my usual parking spot. Only to realise afterwards that i parked it on a different level of the multi storey  "
The phone call back to them must have made you cringe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been looking for my phone, and told the person I was talking to that I couldn't find it, when I was talking to them - ON MY PHONE"
I left my phone under the pillow last night and when I woke up, I found a £1 coin there. Fucking bluetooth fairy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have a terrible habit of driving down to our local or into town on a Saturday evening and getting shitfaced then getting a taxi home.
Then rummaging on the doorstep for our house keys... then getting a taxi back to the car to get the house keys out of the fucking thing!!
Pre lockdown of course.
Memories |
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"I have been looking for my phone, and told the person I was talking to that I couldn't find it, when I was talking to them - ON MY PHONE
I left my phone under the pillow last night and when I woke up, I found a £1 coin there. Fucking bluetooth fairy!"
I like this  |
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"We have a terrible habit of driving down to our local or into town on a Saturday evening and getting shitfaced then getting a taxi home.
Then rummaging on the doorstep for our house keys... then getting a taxi back to the car to get the house keys out of the fucking thing!!
Pre lockdown of course.
Memories "
That is so funny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been looking for my phone, and told the person I was talking to that I couldn't find it, when I was talking to them - ON MY PHONE
I left my phone under the pillow last night and when I woke up, I found a £1 coin there. Fucking bluetooth fairy!
I like this "
You would like me better. Would you like to try? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lost my glasses for 2 wks. Put them on my jumper neck.. took jumper off.. didnt find glasses till i come to wash jumer.
Major memory problems..(ptsd) all i do is laugh cos i literally cant remember |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I went to work in odd shoes once. I was on my way to a meeting and stopped to get fuel. That's when I noticed.
Had to make an emergency trip to New look for some replacements.
I constantly forget where I've parked my car at the supermarket.
I've locked my keys in my car twice before and had to get the AA out to break in for them.
Lots of times. You're not alone OP x |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Last night I made garlic bread in a rush and completely missed the garlic. I had to unwrap the foil and stuff bits of chopped garlic into every slice of a huge baguette , my fingers still smell of garlic 24hrs later  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reached into my bag for my bus ticket and didn't realise I'd pulled out a panty liner and showed it to the Bus Driver - mortified!! "
Did he take that as an invitation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I'm officially an idiot.
Ordered pizza which just arrived. My ex locked the front door as he left earlier and I couldn't find my house key so it was left on the doorstep while I looked. I remembered that I put it in my coat pocket. My coat was in the boot of my car.
I had to phone my mother to drive over from the other side of town to rescue me from my own house.
In other news, the pizza is lovely and luckily the ants didn't get it!
Please share your silly stories with me to help me feel like less of an idiot "
A few years ago my (then) kitten locked me out of the house. I took the binbag out, and left the door ajar. I came back just in time to see the tiny terror pushing the door shut and hearing the lock snap shut.
3 hours I had to wait for the hubby to come home, with said kitten staring at me and having the audacity to meow from the living room window |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
"Called the police thinking my car was stolen after it was missing from my usual parking spot. Only to realise afterwards that i parked it on a different level of the multi storey
The phone call back to them must have made you cringe "
Very. Although the woman said it happens more often then you'd expect |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"I drove my son to school once and walked 2 miles home forgetting id driven to the school in the first place and left my car there lol"
i like that!
When younger i once got up and got dressed for School and went to knock on my friends door to walk to School.
It was a Bank Holiday Monday |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reached into my bag for my bus ticket and didn't realise I'd pulled out a panty liner and showed it to the Bus Driver - mortified!! "
Hahaha! That made me laugh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you so much for all your stories, I feel much better now. Sorry I didn't reply to all of you individually  "
Would you like a hug? I am a hugging machine! |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
When my dog was a puppy i went to answer my front door for a parcel and shut him in the living room. I could hear him scratching at the door but thought nothing of it.
I try to open the door to the living room only to get it open an inch. The little devil had pulled the carpet up and it had totally jammed the door. Couldn’t shift it!
I rang my mum in a panic from upstairs phone and she drove for over 30 minutes to reach me and she had to crowbar the living room door off.
The puppy was fine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you so much for all your stories, I feel much better now. Sorry I didn't reply to all of you individually
Would you like a hug? I am a hugging machine!
Yes please, I'll always take a hug"
There you go! Hug till you drop! |
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"Thank you so much for all your stories, I feel much better now. Sorry I didn't reply to all of you individually
Would you like a hug? I am a hugging machine!
Yes please, I'll always take a hug
There you go! Hug till you drop!"
Just what I needed, thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you so much for all your stories, I feel much better now. Sorry I didn't reply to all of you individually
Would you like a hug? I am a hugging machine!
Yes please, I'll always take a hug
There you go! Hug till you drop!
Just what I needed, thank you "
You are welcome! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I went to a important meeting on ward few weeks ago before I left that job
After about 45 mins I went toilet went out phone in back pocket and though strange couldn’t find it when got in bathroom realised I had scrub pants on inside out. Worse my pockets where flapping like elephant ears
My excuse was I was on day 9 of 10 straight shifts lol |
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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
"So I'm officially an idiot.
Ordered pizza which just arrived. My ex locked the front door as he left earlier and I couldn't find my house key so it was left on the doorstep while I looked. I remembered that I put it in my coat pocket. My coat was in the boot of my car.
I had to phone my mother to drive over from the other side of town to rescue me from my own house.
In other news, the pizza is lovely and luckily the ants didn't get it!
Please share your silly stories with me to help me feel like less of an idiot "
And the delivery guy was hot.
Did he leave his number inside the pizza lid? |
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"So I'm officially an idiot.
Ordered pizza which just arrived. My ex locked the front door as he left earlier and I couldn't find my house key so it was left on the doorstep while I looked. I remembered that I put it in my coat pocket. My coat was in the boot of my car.
I had to phone my mother to drive over from the other side of town to rescue me from my own house.
In other news, the pizza is lovely and luckily the ants didn't get it!
Please share your silly stories with me to help me feel like less of an idiot
And the delivery guy was hot.
Did he leave his number inside the pizza lid?"
I have no idea, I couldn't see him through the frosted glass |
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