FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are forumites to be trusted?
Are forumites to be trusted?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Same as anywhere
You have those that lie coz they can
Those that wouldn't know the truth if it bit them upon the glute
Those that lie to keep up appearances/impress
Those that lie to hide identity
Those that lie coz they like to cause trouble for the fun of it
Those that lie coz they listened to someone else's bullshit and don't know the information they're now passing on is false
Those that lie to keep people separate so the truth doesn't come out
And you have others that don't.
There are some beautiful souls that wander round these parts and will tell you the truth even if they know it will sting, but would rather that than be a bad friend or lead another person into the land of make believe.
P |
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"Same as anywhere
You have those that lie coz they can
Those that wouldn't know the truth if it bit them upon the glute
Those that lie to keep up appearances/impress
Those that lie to hide identity
Those that lie coz they like to cause trouble for the fun of it
Those that lie coz they listened to someone else's bullshit and don't know the information they're now passing on is false
Those that lie to keep people separate so the truth doesn't come out
And you have others that don't.
There are some beautiful souls that wander round these parts and will tell you the truth even if they know it will sting, but would rather that than be a bad friend or lead another person into the land of make believe.
P"
They knows 
But who can you trust  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Same as anywhere
You have those that lie coz they can
Those that wouldn't know the truth if it bit them upon the glute
Those that lie to keep up appearances/impress
Those that lie to hide identity
Those that lie coz they like to cause trouble for the fun of it
Those that lie coz they listened to someone else's bullshit and don't know the information they're now passing on is false
Those that lie to keep people separate so the truth doesn't come out
And you have others that don't.
There are some beautiful souls that wander round these parts and will tell you the truth even if they know it will sting, but would rather that than be a bad friend or lead another person into the land of make believe.
P"
Very nice post indeed,kudos
T |
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"Same as anywhere
You have those that lie coz they can
Those that wouldn't know the truth if it bit them upon the glute
Those that lie to keep up appearances/impress
Those that lie to hide identity
Those that lie coz they like to cause trouble for the fun of it
Those that lie coz they listened to someone else's bullshit and don't know the information they're now passing on is false
Those that lie to keep people separate so the truth doesn't come out
And you have others that don't.
There are some beautiful souls that wander round these parts and will tell you the truth even if they know it will sting, but would rather that than be a bad friend or lead another person into the land of make believe.
P"
There really are some beautiful people here x
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"There are those I have built up trust with. Those I don't know enough to trust and those I wouldn't want to trust. I do give the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise.
That's life"
I tend to assume the best until i”m proven wrong, but doesn’t take long to spot fakes, time wasters or people just being genuinely friendly and playful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have come across one or two on the forums where the truth has been very different to the impressions given here. However I would say that this is the exception to the rule. |
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"I have a good instinct about people and trust it on here and off.
Knobheads get everywhere, as do lovely folk.
"
So do I but there are some who are really not what they seem. Easy to project an image of chummines whilst being the opposite in real life. Alot is smoke and mirrors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trust is like a bank account. You can only deposit into it, and never able to withdraw from it. However, you can create a brand with the goodwill of your trust account! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
There are those here for sure that spin a web of deceit designed to lure you in - those that do so to hide darker things about themselves and indeed those that aren't what they seem in the slightest.
But as my dear friend P said above get past them and there are some beautiful souls too - people you can really count on when you need them, people who will be lifelong friends and it's those people I lean towards.
The key is being able to find the way past the web.
It's not a forum thing though, it's a life thing - the above could be applied to any interaction you have, whether virtual or very real. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Is this a healthy attitude to carry?
"I'm hearing everyone, but believing in no one until I have reason to be shown otherwise"?"
I tend to do it the other way round but with a healthy level of guardedness added into the mix that sees people dropped very quickly if they give me reason to.
That and a level of instinct which is not infallible but is usually on the mark |
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The same here as with outside of fab, choose who to trust carefully.
Part luck and part being wise, I've a few fab friends who I trust implicitly including happily entrusting one to be my lockdown buddy who when I went back to work stayed in my house and kept my cat company.
As has been said already, there are some fantastic people on fab  |
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"Is this a healthy attitude to carry?
"I'm hearing everyone, but believing in no one until I have reason to be shown otherwise"?"
I suppose it is how far you want to enter into the friendship, there are so many differing levels of friendship on here, as long as you both can say we are happy with the flow of it then it can only be a positive thing?
It also varys on what the catalyst is for someone to say this friendship is toxic and I need to remove myself from it and them being able to not be drawn back into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trust is like a bank account. You can only deposit into it, and never able to withdraw from it. However, you can create a brand with the goodwill of your trust account!"
I withdraw from my bank account pretty often actually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to trust too easily which sometimes pays off but sometimes kicks me up the arse , I will be enthusiastic about someone new and D will tell me to be careful as I usually give too much of myself too quickly and recently a couple of people have taken the piss but it won’t change me I think I always like to see the good in people first and I’ve been lucky enough to make some amazing hopefully life long friends on here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Trust them with what?"
Have you asked a question?
How would you like it answered if it is a question?
Would you like it answered if it is a question?
Do I have the energy to ask you what you mean?
Should I learn to have the energy to ask you what you mean?
Or is it just a statement you want to make on my question?
Can I trust you?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'Forumite' 
That word gets on my nerves!
People, could be ANYONE who contributes to the forum.
"
Well of course, but that's no different in everyday life? It's surely good to question sources, motives for supplying information and the credibility. The forums are for debating and raising questions for me, not a go to source of factual information. |
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"There are those here for sure that spin a web of deceit designed to lure you in - those that do so to hide darker things about themselves and indeed those that aren't what they seem in the slightest.
But as my dear friend P said above get past them and there are some beautiful souls too - people you can really count on when you need them, people who will be lifelong friends and it's those people I lean towards.
The key is being able to find the way past the web.
It's not a forum thing though, it's a life thing - the above could be applied to any interaction you have, whether virtual or very real."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"'Forumite'
That word gets on my nerves!
People, could be ANYONE who contributes to the forum.
Well of course, but that's no different in everyday life? It's surely good to question sources, motives for supplying information and the credibility. The forums are for debating and raising questions for me, not a go to source of factual information. "
Isn't what you say contradictory...no facts desired but great for debate.
What kind of debates do you like! |
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"There are those here for sure that spin a web of deceit designed to lure you in - those that do so to hide darker things about themselves and indeed those that aren't what they seem in the slightest.
The key is being able to find the way past the web.
It's not a forum thing though, it's a life thing - the above could be applied to any interaction you have, whether virtual or very real."
As always, the wise man speaks..... I don’t disclose all the aspects of my personal life for obvious reason, but I have no reason to lie either. What you see is what you get ....
If people chose the duplicitous route it will come back to bite them on the arse somewhere. All that achieves is a spot light on those we *thought* were favourites but are not quite as sparkling clean as we all thought they were!! It all comes out in the wash as they say...
Liars..... room 101 material |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Forumite'
That word gets on my nerves!
People, could be ANYONE who contributes to the forum.
Well of course, but that's no different in everyday life? It's surely good to question sources, motives for supplying information and the credibility. The forums are for debating and raising questions for me, not a go to source of factual information. Isn't what you say contradictory...no facts desired but great for debate.
What kind of debates do you like!"
Well you're trying to chair a debate here? Theres no factual source to anything raised here, purely subjective opinions. Were offering perspectives? Having a conversation, perhaps not in the exact definition of debating fir legislative purposes.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"'Forumite'
That word gets on my nerves!
People, could be ANYONE who contributes to the forum.
Well of course, but that's no different in everyday life? It's surely good to question sources, motives for supplying information and the credibility. The forums are for debating and raising questions for me, not a go to source of factual information. Isn't what you say contradictory...no facts desired but great for debate.
What kind of debates do you like!
Well you're trying to chair a debate here? Theres no factual source to anything raised here, purely subjective opinions. Were offering perspectives? Having a conversation, perhaps not in the exact definition of debating fir legislative purposes.
"
I'm not chairing a debate I asked a question and people responded in what was for me a satisfying way.
"Ask a simple question get a simple answer"
The question was framed in a way that got exactly the sort of sharing expression it needed.
You don't HAVE to know what prompted it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Forumite'
That word gets on my nerves!
People, could be ANYONE who contributes to the forum.
Well of course, but that's no different in everyday life? It's surely good to question sources, motives for supplying information and the credibility. The forums are for debating and raising questions for me, not a go to source of factual information. Isn't what you say contradictory...no facts desired but great for debate.
What kind of debates do you like!
Well you're trying to chair a debate here? Theres no factual source to anything raised here, purely subjective opinions. Were offering perspectives? Having a conversation, perhaps not in the exact definition of debating fir legislative purposes.
I'm not chairing a debate I asked a question and people responded in what was for me a satisfying way.
"Ask a simple question get a simple answer"
The question was framed in a way that got exactly the sort of sharing expression it needed.
You don't HAVE to know what prompted it. "
Lost me but then my answer is no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I barely trust anyone in the real world let alone from the forum.
My kids and fwb are among the chosen trusted people
However I have made friends I know to be genuine, as for trust yeah I trust them with what I allow them to know, some I allow to know more than others.
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"Trust is like a bank account. You can only deposit into it, and never able to withdraw from it. However, you can create a brand with the goodwill of your trust account!"
We have a similar view, particularly relevant on forums...
Trust is a scarce commodity, a lifetime to create, moments to destroy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks to ALL those who gave valid opinions in the area of trust.
Occasional humour is cool too...but only occasionally on a more serious topic.
"
Humour is ALWAYS cool imho, makes shit less shitty and keeps things inclusive |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
However I have made friends I know to be genuine, as for trust yeah I trust them with what I allow them to know, some I allow to know more than others. "
And that's exactly it - there are various levels of trust - and those levels get built up over time and interaction, but again it's not a forum thing, it's a life thing - there are those that don't get close enough to even see the surface, those who barely skim it, and those that not only get beneath it but become a part of it. |
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Unfortunately I've been on the receiving end of far too much toxic behaviour to trust more than a (very small) handful of people that I've got to know. I won't share anything that I'm not happy being in the public domain.
In my experience, integrity can seem to be somewhat lacking behind the scenes, in stark contrast to some holier than thou personas that are projected in public. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello everyone on the forum. I have for you all the once in a lifetime opportunity. I have been charitably bequeathed the sum of six million British pounds by the Nigerian Prince Wahib and YOU have been selected by secret lottery to benefit from Prince Wahibs generosity. Please Pm me your bank details and PIN number to transer the monies and make your dreams come true. Yours sincerely DanDogx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello everyone on the forum. I have for you all the once in a lifetime opportunity. I have been charitably bequeathed the sum of six million British pounds by the Nigerian Prince Wahib and YOU have been selected by secret lottery to benefit from Prince Wahibs generosity. Please Pm me your bank details and PIN number to transer the monies and make your dreams come true. Yours sincerely DanDogx"
 |
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"Hello everyone on the forum. I have for you all the once in a lifetime opportunity. I have been charitably bequeathed the sum of six million British pounds by the Nigerian Prince Wahib and YOU have been selected by secret lottery to benefit from Prince Wahibs generosity. Please Pm me your bank details and PIN number to transer the monies and make your dreams come true. Yours sincerely DanDogx"
Lol  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Unfortunately I've been on the receiving end of far too much toxic behaviour to trust more than a (very small) handful of people that I've got to know. I won't share anything that I'm not happy being in the public domain.
In my experience, integrity can seem to be somewhat lacking behind the scenes, in stark contrast to some holier than thou personas that are projected in public. "
And that latter type are the worst - draw you in initially with their public presence but given time reveal themselves to not only lack integrity but more worryingly discretion behind the scenes - which comes back to my levels of trust thing - I can count on one hand the number of people here that I truly trust with anything and everything there is to know about me.
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I love forums and online discussions/debates/arguments!
I'm just a tad perplexed by the amount of forum users on fab who state they are only here for the forums-those with no meet verifications.
Perhaps just me compartmentalising but I dont see how you'd join a swing site and not take part in the swinging?
The forums are a side dish for me.
It's like virgins taking part in a sex study :/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"'Forumite'
That word gets on my nerves!
People, could be ANYONE who contributes to the forum.
Well of course, but that's no different in everyday life? It's surely good to question sources, motives for supplying information and the credibility. The forums are for debating and raising questions for me, not a go to source of factual information. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Same as anywhere
You have those that lie coz they can
Those that wouldn't know the truth if it bit them upon the glute
Those that lie to keep up appearances/impress
Those that lie to hide identity
Those that lie coz they like to cause trouble for the fun of it
Those that lie coz they listened to someone else's bullshit and don't know the information they're now passing on is false
Those that lie to keep people separate so the truth doesn't come out
And you have others that don't.
There are some beautiful souls that wander round these parts and will tell you the truth even if they know it will sting, but would rather that than be a bad friend or lead another person into the land of make believe.
P"
Fabulously put... |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I love forums and online discussions/debates/arguments!
I'm just a tad perplexed by the amount of forum users on fab who state they are only here for the forums-those with no meet verifications.
Perhaps just me compartmentalising but I dont see how you'd join a swing site and not take part in the swinging?
The forums are a side dish for me.
It's like virgins taking part in a sex study :/ "
Could be any number of reasons - they just enjoy the ability to discuss sex and sexuality openly, their circumstances don't allow them to meet, they go to clubs, they say that to deter people contacting them or any number of other reasons - but ultimately their profile, their choice how they choose to use the site, which doesn't have a rule saying you have to be looking to meet to join.
It's really no concern of mine so long as it doesn't impact me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I barely trust anyone in the real world let alone from the forum.
My kids and fwb are among the chosen trusted people
However I have made friends I know to be genuine, as for trust yeah I trust them with what I allow them to know, some I allow to know more than others.
"
100% me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I love forums and online discussions/debates/arguments!
I'm just a tad perplexed by the amount of forum users on fab who state they are only here for the forums-those with no meet verifications.
Perhaps just me compartmentalising but I dont see how you'd join a swing site and not take part in the swinging?
The forums are a side dish for me.
It's like virgins taking part in a sex study :/ "
Should we trust those who say and do not?
Should we trust those who have a lot to say but do little?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love forums and online discussions/debates/arguments!
I'm just a tad perplexed by the amount of forum users on fab who state they are only here for the forums-those with no meet verifications.
Perhaps just me compartmentalising but I dont see how you'd join a swing site and not take part in the swinging?
The forums are a side dish for me.
It's like virgins taking part in a sex study :/
Should we trust those who say and do not?
Should we trust those who have a lot to say but do little?
"
Swinging assumptions? Some shout their exploits from the rooftops, others walk quietly through the site experiencing what they will.... |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
"There are those here for sure that spin a web of deceit designed to lure you in - those that do so to hide darker things about themselves and indeed those that aren't what they seem in the slightest.
But as my dear friend P said above get past them and there are some beautiful souls too - people you can really count on when you need them, people who will be lifelong friends and it's those people I lean towards.
The key is being able to find the way past the web.
It's not a forum thing though, it's a life thing - the above could be applied to any interaction you have, whether virtual or very real."
Well said GM |
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