Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides. And every time she wore it, you could see right up her thighs.
Mary also had a little skirt with a split right up the front.
She never wore that one though.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides. And every time she wore it, you could see right up her thighs.
Mary also had a little skirt with a split right up the front.
She never wore that one though. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The boy stood on the burning deck his arse nailed to the mast,
He wouldn't budge a single inch till Allan Carr had past.
Now Allan was a clever guy and tossed the lad a fritter, and as he stooped to pick it up he wanged it up his shitter...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh ye canny shove yir granny aff the bus
No ye canny shove yir granny aff the bus
No ye canny shove yir granny, coz she's yir mammys mammy
Oh ye canny shove yir granny aff the bus |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Skinny malinky lang legs, umbrella feet
Went tae the pictures and couldna find a seat
When the picture started, skinny malinky farted
Skinny malinky lang legs, umbrella feet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Skinny malinky lang legs, umbrella feet
Went tae the pictures and couldna find a seat
When the picture started, skinny malinky farted
Skinny malinky lang legs, umbrella feet!"
We used to sing big banana feet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Skinny malinky lang legs, umbrella feet
Went tae the pictures and couldna find a seat
When the picture started, skinny malinky farted
Skinny malinky lang legs, umbrella feet!
We used to sing big banana feet"
Yeah I've heard it that way too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't know how I can remember this. Lol
Ma granny had a budgie, she called it tiny Tim, she took it to the bathroom, to see if it could swim, it sank to the bottom and floated on the top, granny got excited and pulled it by it's,
Cocktail shandy, tell no lies, if you see a policeman pulling up he's, fly away Peter, fly away Paul, come back Peter with his finger up he's holy moly I am dying , one more word before I go, put the cat upon the table and stick a poker up it's , holy moly I am dying one more word before I go... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Theres another one that I'm racking my brains to remember but I can only remember the last few lines.....
The lum gave a crack
The hoose gave a shack
And doon came granny we her shirt ah black
I cannot for the life of me remember the start?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember learning this one and walking in to my mum's work to proudly sing it to her in front of everyone. Unaware what I was actually singing. She took her hand off my jaw for it. I was left dumbstruck but realise what the problem was now.
I want my hole, I want my hole, I want my holidays
To see the cunt, to see the cunt , to see the country.
Fur cue, fur cue, for curiosity
I want my hole, I want my hole I want my holidays. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I remember learning this one and walking in to my mum's work to proudly sing it to her in front of everyone. Unaware what I was actually singing. She took her hand off my jaw for it. I was left dumbstruck but realise what the problem was now.
I want my hole, I want my hole, I want my holidays
To see the cunt, to see the cunt , to see the country.
Fur cue, fur cue, for curiosity
I want my hole, I want my hole I want my holidays."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ma mammy says, I've tae go , wae ma fathers dinero,
Champit totties, veg and steak and a wee bit current cake.
I came to a river, I could nae get across, I payed ten Bob fur an auld blind horse, a jumped on its back, it's bones gave a crack, a hud tae wait tae the boat came back, the boat came back, we all jumped in, the boat capsized and we all fell in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ma mammy says, I've tae go , wae ma fathers dinero,
Champit totties, veg and steak and a wee bit current cake.
I came to a river, I could nae get across, I payed ten Bob fur an auld blind horse, a jumped on its back, it's bones gave a crack, a hud tae wait tae the boat came back, the boat came back, we all jumped in, the boat capsized and we all fell in."
I can't believe someone else knows this song, I thought my granny just made it up. Never heard of anyone else knowing it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ally Bally, Ally Bally Bee
Sitting on yer mammys knee
Greeting for a wee baw-bee
To buy some Coulters Candy
Poor wee Jeanie’s looking awfy thin
A pickle of bones covered o’er wi skin
But noo she’s got a wee double chin
From eatin‘ Coulters Candy
Here’s auld Coulter comin round
Wi a basket on his crown
So here’s a penny, now you run down
And buy some Coulters Candy
Ally Bally, Ally Bally Bee
When you grow up you’ll go to sea
Making pennies for your daddy and me
To buy some Coulters Candy
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
His working days are over
His life is nearly out
What used to be my man-appeal
Is now my water spout
It used to be embarrassing
To make the thing behave
It stood up in the mornings
To watch me have a shave
But now I'm getting older
I really get the blues
To see it hanging upside down
And watch me clean my shoes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ally Bally, Ally Bally Bee
Sitting on yer mammys knee
Greeting for a wee baw-bee
To buy some Coulters Candy
Poor wee Jeanie’s looking awfy thin
A pickle of bones covered o’er wi skin
But noo she’s got a wee double chin
From eatin‘ Coulters Candy
Here’s auld Coulter comin round
Wi a basket on his crown
So here’s a penny, now you run down
And buy some Coulters Candy
Ally Bally, Ally Bally Bee
When you grow up you’ll go to sea
Making pennies for your daddy and me
To buy some Coulters Candy
"
Are you brushing up for the gran weans? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ally Bally, Ally Bally Bee
Sitting on yer mammys knee
Greeting for a wee baw-bee
To buy some Coulters Candy
Poor wee Jeanie’s looking awfy thin
A pickle of bones covered o’er wi skin
But noo she’s got a wee double chin
From eatin‘ Coulters Candy
Here’s auld Coulter comin round
Wi a basket on his crown
So here’s a penny, now you run down
And buy some Coulters Candy
Ally Bally, Ally Bally Bee
When you grow up you’ll go to sea
Making pennies for your daddy and me
To buy some Coulters Candy
Are you brushing up for the gran weans? "
Oh I'm a wee while off grandkids yet thankfully! |
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