FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you tell someone you've changed your mind?
How do you tell someone you've changed your mind?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm curious to know how other people on here go about ending a conversation/message thread with someone. For example, been messaging back and forth for a day or two trying to gauge if things would go well/enough chemistry etc. Say they come out with a very strange comment/something to put you off completely. How would you tell them it's a no, or would you just stop chatting and block etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious to know how other people on here go about ending a conversation/message thread with someone. For example, been messaging back and forth for a day or two trying to gauge if things would go well/enough chemistry etc. Say they come out with a very strange comment/something to put you off completely. How would you tell them it's a no, or would you just stop chatting and block etc"
awwwww what did i say damnit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you haven't arranged a meet / date, then you don't really owe them anything. If you've arranged a date then changed your mind then it's polite to say thanks but no thanks, but you still don't owe them a reason. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just ignore and then if they pester, block
This tends to be my strategy. I get put off pretty easily and quickly so I don't feel bad about it "
This is me completely. I tend to form connections fast but I also lose them even quicker. One off remark and they're a gonner, I just wasn't sure if there was a nicer way around it other than ignore |
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I told someone earlier that I don’t think we are what they want as they are after a single bloke really I was like eh hello this whole time I’ve been thinking they are wanting a couple ... but they still haven’t took the hint .... I know what you mean it’s hard to end something when you’ve been chatting a while. I am getting better at not being as soft now though lol |
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Just block them... if I was talking to a women and she blocked me after two days... I wouldn’t care simples all I can say is just be careful what you send to random people i.e your pics/ nude and personal pics etc they could be a pic collector after all.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would you like someone to say to you OP if they changed their mind?"
Pretty shit that people are suggesting blocking or ghosting. Not at all surprised though! |
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"Just ignore and then if they pester, block
This tends to be my strategy. I get put off pretty easily and quickly so I don't feel bad about it
This is me completely. I tend to form connections fast but I also lose them even quicker. One off remark and they're a gonner, I just wasn't sure if there was a nicer way around it other than ignore"
You could always say ‘sorry but I’m just not feeling it’. I’ve used this a few times. If they pester then I block. Most take it ok though. Xx |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
'Ive appreciated your messages, but I'm letting you know Im not interested in taking things further. Bye x'
Then block so you can't see their response
It's really important to remember you owe nothing to anyone. It's good to be kind and decline with respect, especially if you've been chatting on a bit.
AND it's ok to have days where that's not the case. |
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"I'm curious to know how other people on here go about ending a conversation/message thread with someone. For example, been messaging back and forth for a day or two trying to gauge if things would go well/enough chemistry etc. Say they come out with a very strange comment/something to put you off completely. How would you tell them it's a no, or would you just stop chatting and block etc"
Move country. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m struggling with this. Sometimes the chemistry seems there and then I see a face pic and lose interest.
Sounds harsh, but sometimes the body and chat doesn’t match the face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious to know how other people on here go about ending a conversation/message thread with someone. For example, been messaging back and forth for a day or two trying to gauge if things would go well/enough chemistry etc. Say they come out with a very strange comment/something to put you off completely. How would you tell them it's a no, or would you just stop chatting and block etc"
How do they normally do it in Doncaster? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m struggling with this. Sometimes the chemistry seems there and then I see a face pic and lose interest.
Sounds harsh, but sometimes the body and chat doesn’t match the face. "
Eeek if I sent a face pic and then someone ghosted or blocked me that would be scarring.  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I’m struggling with this. Sometimes the chemistry seems there and then I see a face pic and lose interest.
Sounds harsh, but sometimes the body and chat doesn’t match the face. "
Always ask for a face pic early on, it's less awkward. One of my private notes says 'face doesn't match the body' which is a real shame because it's a hot bod!!   |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
"Just ignore and then if they pester, block
This tends to be my strategy. I get put off pretty easily and quickly so I don't feel bad about it
This is me completely. I tend to form connections fast but I also lose them even quicker. One off remark and they're a gonner, I just wasn't sure if there was a nicer way around it other than ignore"
I can understand the temptation to simply ignore in the expectation (or hope) that they'll go away eventually, but that doesn't sound entirely considerate to me even if they've said something you don't like.
Two discourtesies don't make a right - it fosters unnecessary ambiguity (on both parts) and just lowers you to the same level... sorry to be so blunt but that's the truth of it.
At least send a polite and succinct 'no thanks' to make things crystal clear from that point on. If they persist then block and hold your head high. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m struggling with this. Sometimes the chemistry seems there and then I see a face pic and lose interest.
Sounds harsh, but sometimes the body and chat doesn’t match the face. "
That's because you are not focusing on biology! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been chatting with a lovely lady who I like, but unfortunately she is to far away and theres no chance of meeting for awhile.. So I said I would message her again sometime.
I couldn't think of anything else to say.  Knowing me by the time I can meet her she will never see my message again lol that's the way it goes for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I was talking to a nice woman a couple of years ago we we pretty much left about 100 miles away from each other so I knew that there was only a slight chance of ever meeting up with her but she was always messaging messaging messaging messaging so I always thought there was a good chance but then she just finished a lot of people these days they will talk to you a lot of people now just block you instead of just saying hey it's not working out boom |
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I always say something! I find ghosting or ignorance very rude to be honest and its not nice to behave like that especially after you had few days of conversation. Simply say ,I don’t think I’m feeling your vibe and don’t want to waste much of your time either. sorry x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m struggling with this. Sometimes the chemistry seems there and then I see a face pic and lose interest.
Sounds harsh, but sometimes the body and chat doesn’t match the face.
Eeek if I sent a face pic and then someone ghosted or blocked me that would be scarring. "
I don’t want to scar anyone!! So how would you have someone deal with that? |
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I usually look to see if I can find something that they cant argue with and also might not be offended by either and say that it's just not for me.
Wish them well and hope they find what they're looking for.
Its usually enough but if they do get shitty about it then you wont feel guilty for blocking them and you're perfectly in place to block them without any comebacks on you. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"I always say something! I find ghosting or ignorance very rude to be honest and its not nice to behave like that especially after you had few days of conversation. Simply say ,I don’t think I’m feeling your vibe and don’t want to waste much of your time either. sorry x
"
This goes for me too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had to tell someone they had poor hygiene. It was so embarrassing that I developed nervous laughter which was humiliating for us both. Sometimes a white lie is best. |
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I was talking to someone for a while once... we even met for a social.. we kissed just before we left... we then carried on talking, exchanged kik I.Ds and chatted on there.. sending intimate pictures etc.. and was going to arrange another meet but on that one day we were chatting.. then a few hours later I get a message with my profile picture sent to me with a message saying “that’s his profile”.. she had blocked me on kik and then on fab, clearly she was chatting to someone about me.. and had sent me my own picture by mistake..so I made a different profile to message her and ask why? Only because i found the whole process bizarre... She just all of a sudden cut me off.. she said it’s because it’s something you said when we were flirting and that put me off.. clearly this wasn’t the reason and to be honest I couldn’t care less.. I didn’t pursue anything further.. just left it at that. If she had told me this from the start.. well I would have said ok fair enough best of luck.
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I just tend to use the phrase "I'm no longer feeling this" and pad it out.
Because its true... I've lost the feeling to peruse the person.
Sometimes I just use the slow fade, I'd give a reason if there has been rapport or I just stop if they really said something to piss me off.
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"'Ive appreciated your messages, but I'm letting you know Im not interested in taking things further. Bye x'
Then block so you can't see their response
It's really important to remember you owe nothing to anyone. It's good to be kind and decline with respect, especially if you've been chatting on a bit.
AND it's ok to have days where that's not the case. "
Exactly this, it's absolutely fine to change your mind, it's best to block, but mean to leave someone hanging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they seem pretty chill just say I've changed my mind.
If they seem like they might be a nutter just leave their next message on unread and block them if they message again. Or keep leaving their messages on read but don't block them if u wanna wind em up |
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If things were looking promising and they then said something to put you off, then pick up on it. Ask them about it. It could well just be a misunderstanding!
If it's not then tell them they're not what you are looking for. Wish them well and move on. I'd give them a chance to respond and then eventually block so you dont exchange messages again, later down the line.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious to know how other people on here go about ending a conversation/message thread with someone. For example, been messaging back and forth for a day or two trying to gauge if things would go well/enough chemistry etc. Say they come out with a very strange comment/something to put you off completely. How would you tell them it's a no, or would you just stop chatting and block etc"
For me it depends,
People's moods can change daily so if they come out with something which makes me question meeting them I'll give them another chance but if they do/say something similar again I'll decline respectfully.
If they abuse me for that I'll see it as a lucky escape and move on  |
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