FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it ok when men cry....?
Is it ok when men cry....?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's absolutely OK for men to cry.
I have 3 sons and it saddens me when they grow up in a society where some think emotions are a sign of weakness.
Actually allowing yourself to feel is true strength |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Which women? thats a major sweeping statement right there. "
It's not my view but a man said it to me after bursting into tears d*unkenly. Got me thinking whether it's true |
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Humans cry... Whether men or women. It's not a weakness to show your emotions, if anything it's a strength.
I'd like to think that most people don't think in terms of 'big boys don't cry' anymore. Hope I'm not disillusioned. Mrs H.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which women? thats a major sweeping statement right there.
It's not my view but a man said it to me after bursting into tears d*unkenly. Got me thinking whether it's true "
Aww he must trust you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which women? thats a major sweeping statement right there.
It's not my view but a man said it to me after bursting into tears d*unkenly. Got me thinking whether it's true "
I think often men feel that way but im sure for most women that really isn't the case.
The phrases "man up" "stop being a girl" ect have a lot to answer for though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Which women? thats a major sweeping statement right there.
It's not my view but a man said it to me after bursting into tears d*unkenly. Got me thinking whether it's true
Aww he must trust you. "
I think he has depression....think he might be mortified and never chat again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course its ok for men to cry, maybe not after sex though, i imagine that could be a bit awkward."
I had someone cry during it once. We both were as we were breaking up. It was actually beautiful and intense.
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By *exy7Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
I find it incredible that the question can be asked. Of course it is. Men cry full stop. Probably a bit less in the UK which is our stiff upper lip attitude to everything but in more Latin countries, people do express their emotions and are not judged for it.
It is as acceptable to cry as it is to argue, be cross, be sad, be happy etc.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which women? thats a major sweeping statement right there.
It's not my view but a man said it to me after bursting into tears d*unkenly. Got me thinking whether it's true
Aww he must trust you.
I think he has depression....think he might be mortified and never chat again "
Oh thats such a shame, have you reached out to him since this happened? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A stigma like many others that needs breaking
There are far to many men that try to live up to this stupid idea that it's 'unmanly' to cry
Based on this it must be manly to throw yourself from a bridge and end it all because you've been forced by a stigma (which in the realm I don't think does exist) that it's weak to cry, so you've bottled it all up until it's all too much.....
Humans have emotions, they breathe bleed and cry, no matter which sex they are!
Crier and proud here!!!
Be nice folks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which women? thats a major sweeping statement right there.
It's not my view but a man said it to me after bursting into tears d*unkenly. Got me thinking whether it's true "
I suspect men believe that's what women want and think they'll be judged on it in the same way women believe that men expect them to look perfect else they'll be judged on it. The truth in both cases is you're far more likely to be judged by your own sex. A man is much more likely to be judged by other men for crying just as a woman is far more likely to be judged by another woman for having the wrong eyebrow shape.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It should be ok for a man to cry, just like it should be ok for anyone to express themselves and of course it does happen but thanks to cultural stereotypes it’s still uncommon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just thinking about double standards and how women expect men to be big and strong and unemotional....."
The women I know don't expect anything like that   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Which women? thats a major sweeping statement right there.
It's not my view but a man said it to me after bursting into tears d*unkenly. Got me thinking whether it's true
Aww he must trust you.
I think he has depression....think he might be mortified and never chat again
Oh thats such a shame, have you reached out to him since this happened?"
Yes I have, no response...think struggling with lockdown |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which women? thats a major sweeping statement right there.
It's not my view but a man said it to me after bursting into tears d*unkenly. Got me thinking whether it's true
Aww he must trust you.
I think he has depression....think he might be mortified and never chat again
Oh thats such a shame, have you reached out to him since this happened?
Yes I have, no response...think struggling with lockdown "
Yes its a very tricky time for lots of people.
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
Of course..it’s more than ok in my eyes. But not in everyone’s...I know women who don’t want their men to show any of ‘those’ emotions...and a mum at school bellowed ‘man up’ at her reception son in September. Those males won’t feel it’s ok to cry...which makes me cry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can anyone recommend any clubs that cater for BDSM and s+m in the Birmingham area. Looking to explore with a friend when present restriction has been lifted and clear. Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can anyone recommend any clubs that cater for BDSM and s+m in the Birmingham area. Looking to explore with a friend when present restriction has been lifted and clear. Thanks "
Might get more responses if you start your own thread. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
As a 13 year old boy my grandfather passed away when we went to the chapel of rest my father started crying as it was his father.He then said to me it’s ok to cry so I went outside and cried.Crying is a natural emotion and no one should make fun of anyone crying even it is a man.Paul Gascoigne won the hearts of the nation in 1990 with his tears. |
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Of course it's ok for men to cry, it's a bit much for a lightly stubbed toe but why would it not be ok especially in this day and age for a man not to cry.
Let the tears out of you need to as it only makes your face puffy and will eventually have your head explode if you don't  |
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On a serious not as my usual posts are weird bollocks.
It is weird growing up as a male as for most of younger life you feel it’s not ok to cry. But I remember seeing my dad cry for the first time at his mums funeral and I suddenly realised then that no matter how big or tough you are there will always be a time in your life that you can’t help but let it go and since then I’ve realised that it’s ok to cry no matter who you are or where you are. |
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A friend of mine called me recently in floods of tears, he said he couldn't help but cry after sex, I didn't know what to say to him, after he hung up I remembered he was in Parkhurst...
Sorry couldn't resist lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A sweeping generalisation.
Suicide remains the biggest killer of men under 50. If more men felt able to show their emotions and get the help and support they need then maybe that would reduce.
I’ve seen men (and women) at their lowest, when they feel most vulnerable and have reached the point they want to end their lives.
I’ve retrieved those from the railway that help was too late for and I have consoled family members when they have learnt of a loved ones suicide.
So yes of course it is ok for men to cry. Whether that is because they are in need or because they have watched a sad film.
I would much rather them be able to show their emotions than hide them away and suffer in silence. |
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It’s not only ok for any human being to cry, it’s a must.
You have to master dealing with your emotions, it’s a life skill.
In my experience if you keep things inside, hidden in the darkness, they can grow.
In my experience you need to let things out, put them in the light, and you see how small they really are. |
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Any man bottling it up and not being able to cry when needed is an explosion waiting to happen.
Whoever thought of the saying 'man up' or 'men don't cry' needs a slap so friggin hard that they cry for weeks.
Holding things in and not expressing yourself when you're deeply upset is unhealthy so guys, cry if you need to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any man bottling it up and not being able to cry when needed is an explosion waiting to happen.
Whoever thought of the saying 'man up' or 'men don't cry' needs a slap so friggin hard that they cry for weeks.
Holding things in and not expressing yourself when you're deeply upset is unhealthy so guys, cry if you need to."
Just do what you've got to do. Fuck everything else. |
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In a work situation if women cry it’s ok, if men cry it’s a nervous breakdown.
I used to get really irritated by women crying in the workplace as men simply couldn’t.
Anyway, as I’ve got older I’ve become a real softie and well up at anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have raised sons and have always taught them to validate their feelings and be open about it.
Crying does not show weakness in any gender as nobody can stay strong all the time....
Maybe if we encouraged the sensitive side to our little boys we will raise sensitive men in touch with their feelings, rather than having to feel they have to suppress...there is such an issue with men and their mental health and that needs acknowledging for sure
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never saw hubby cry till he started chemo...the tumours are on his liver which regulates hormones... That's his excuse  ...personally I don't have a problem with men crying..thats what my shoulder is for. |
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By *quirrelMan
over a year ago
East Manchester |
It's been said that as you get older you become to accept the bad things that happen in life and they don't affect you as much.
I've buried parents,family and old friends over the years, but last year my mum's sister died while visiting family in Australia.
She was unmarried and had lived in the same house for 40years, it was my sad duty to go through her things, arrange for her mum and dad's headstone to be amended to include her name and dispose of her belongings and package things up to be send to Australia.
It was very unnerving going through her personal belongings,I felt like an intruder, but it was when I found her photograph albums that I came apart.
30 albums of pictures, some going back 70 years when she and my mum were children.
I saw pics of my entire family, mum and dad on their wedding day, me and my brothers when we were babies, aunt's and uncles who are long gone, my cousins who I used to play with.
It made me realise what is lost piece by piece over time and led to an avalanche of emotions.
Anyone who cries is doing themselves some good health benefits.
I read that crying releases hormones from the body which have built up, and if not released they lead to mood problems and physical and mental health problems too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you think there's a difference between crying when something genuinely tragic has happened, a bereavement for instance, and crying just because you dont get you're own way or things get a little bit difficult? Its a fine line there... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think all the things that stop men from crying freely are ‘Male’ and have mostly been imposed by men although internalised by women. I think there are lots of women that reproduce toxic masculinity in their children, surprisingly even single mothers - I remember challenging my own mother on why she had such traditional views of masculinity (that I rejected) given the historical effects. But it’s definitely an idea that I think historically came from men, or maybe that was accepted and embraced by men because of the benefits of doing so. Although yes of course, there are no doubt millions of women (and more men) that will also agree wholeheartedly that men shouldn’t cry and will have a double standard in their views on crying.
Sorry this is a bit Waffley |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"Do you think there's a difference between crying when something genuinely tragic has happened, a bereavement for instance, and crying just because you dont get you're own way or things get a little bit difficult? Its a fine line there..."
I don’t think there’s a line to draw between what’s ok to cry about and what isn’t - we all feel differently about things - both men & women. Do you mean it’s ok to cry for a bereavement but not if you don’t get your own way? What if that ‘way’ was the last hope at the end of a string of exhausting defeats for someone. Crying is a way to release sadness, fear, exhaustion, anger, overwhelm...and these things strike us all at different times and in different ways. Crying over tiny things is just as valid as crying over the big things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men do and should cry like anyone else..its a greater man that can cry. Sheesh I ve cried an oceans worth going thru my crap..tbh if I hadn t I would not have made it..its a great cleanser  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it is not ok for men to cry as that would mean that something has caused them pain or upset...and we wouldn't want that to happen now would we? "
But we all have to experience hurt and pain at some points in our lives.
There is no issue in showing that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think there's a difference between crying when something genuinely tragic has happened, a bereavement for instance, and crying just because you dont get you're own way or things get a little bit difficult? Its a fine line there...
I don’t think there’s a line to draw between what’s ok to cry about and what isn’t - we all feel differently about things - both men & women. Do you mean it’s ok to cry for a bereavement but not if you don’t get your own way? What if that ‘way’ was the last hope at the end of a string of exhausting defeats for someone. Crying is a way to release sadness, fear, exhaustion, anger, overwhelm...and these things strike us all at different times and in different ways. Crying over tiny things is just as valid as crying over the big things. "
Absolutely. Plus crying over the little things can help to release tension and possibly help stop a build up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it is not ok for men to cry as that would mean that something has caused them pain or upset...and we wouldn't want that to happen now would we?
But we all have to experience hurt and pain at some points in our lives.
There is no issue in showing that. "
There ARE levels to those hurts and pains, and there are MANY terrible things to cry about that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Crying isn't divorced from circumstance in most cases.
So I think it's a silly question.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a breakdown couple of years ago and I cried at work twice I felt so stupid coz us guys not supposed to cry. Over the worse of it now but now I find I can have a tear or two just watching a movie. Wife says it shows I’m human. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it is not ok for men to cry as that would mean that something has caused them pain or upset...and we wouldn't want that to happen now would we?
But we all have to experience hurt and pain at some points in our lives.
There is no issue in showing that. There ARE levels to those hurts and pains, and there are MANY terrible things to cry about that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Crying isn't divorced from circumstance in most cases.
So I think it's a silly question.
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Crying is not only a human response to sorrow and frustration, it’s also a healthy one.” It is a natural way to reduce stress that, if left unchecked, can have negative physical effects on the body,it can be a huge and much needed release no matter what the reason is whether its joy or sorrow.
I've known men to scared to cry because they have been brought up to believe its wrong, that they aren't real men if they cry. Its very much ok to cry whst ever the circumstances xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a breakdown couple of years ago and I cried at work twice I felt so stupid coz us guys not supposed to cry. Over the worse of it now but now I find I can have a tear or two just watching a movie. Wife says it shows I’m human. "
Im the same mate..had major meltdown 3 year ago...now it doesn t take much...the way I see it..they re my tears linked to stuff others know fk all about so fk them and their judgement...a true friend would not judge...own your tears my friend. |
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"Do you think there's a difference between crying when something genuinely tragic has happened, a bereavement for instance, and crying just because you dont get you're own way or things get a little bit difficult? Its a fine line there..."
Are you suggesting people cry because they don’t get their own way, like going to KFC instead of McDonalds? What do you mean exactly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've cried more this past year than I've ever done. Something about a good cry that makes me feel that little bit better. I've cried on male and female friends shoulders and even had a wee bubble with my dog. I couldn't care less if someone thinks I'm a pansy because I've had a cry, ill show them how much of a pansy I am in a ring!  |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
I’m “middle of the road”. I will never cry watching a sad film or an opera or...Bambi the deer or whatever. Then again....there are other moments when I become the biggest fucking cryer around.... like when I see people losing loved ones. Hence why I’ve spontaneously cried a few times during this coronavirus situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven’t cried in over a year. Last time I did was in therapy, about something I thought I was over. I cried for the entire session. I wish I could get it out more but I think I’m completely broken and desensitised. But crying honestly makes everything feel better for a brief moment afterwards. |
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