FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Your ugly side.
Your ugly side.
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Are you a purely aware of the ugly side of your personality and tackle it or even accept it? Maybe you dont feel you have one.
Jealousy, anger, prejudice,greed,resentment etc, all emotions we feel at some stage in life, but which can also become inherently toxic aspects in our lives if we let them take over.
How self aware are you? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I tryto find the positive in everything - being negative just eats you up and is destructive. I rationalise why things happen where I can - and if they are negative then i leave them behind as unhelpful.
If I can change things I change them - if I can’t affect the outcome - i move on x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I tryto find the positive in everything - being negative just eats you up and is destructive. I rationalise why things happen where I can - and if they are negative then i leave them behind as unhelpful.
If I can change things I change them - if I can’t affect the outcome - i move on x
"
Which is good advice. But sometimes circumstances can nurture those distasteful sides, and we dont always see them consume us? But you're right, move on if you can. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’d like to think I’m self aware enough to know my flaws, and motivated enough to always try to do and be a better version of myself.
There’s no such thing as a perfect person. But I have a lot more time for people that show willing to try and better themselves |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"That's not denial...... that's honesty.
I live an examined life ... I know me."
I hold no judgement on any one on this thread who makes such a statement. That's positive!
I know I have some, but as circumstances change I'm far more at peace in letting them go. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Fully aware. I let go of the negative emotions a long time ago after a severe crisis. Living without jealousy, insecurity and resentment is freedom. Those emotions are like a ball and chain around your neck. But I’m a long way from perfect. I make mistakes like everybody else, it’s just my mistakes come from a place of kindness. I am still vulnerable because of what happened to me, and I can be triggered and hurt. I can react in ways I might regret and end up making everything worse. But in the grand scheme, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Apologise to the people you hurt and forgive the people who hurt you. Let go and move forward. Life is too short for anything else Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Fully aware. I let go of the negative emotions a long time ago after a severe crisis. Living without jealousy, insecurity and resentment is freedom. Those emotions are like a ball and chain around your neck. But I’m a long way from perfect. I make mistakes like everybody else, it’s just my mistakes come from a place of kindness. I am still vulnerable because of what happened to me, and I can be triggered and hurt. I can react in ways I might regret and end up making everything worse. But in the grand scheme, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Apologise to the people you hurt and forgive the people who hurt you. Let go and move forward. Life is too short for anything else Xx"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
fully aware of myself, and my flaws.
can only keep myself in check so much of the time.. doesn't mean to say i don't fuck up on a regular.
only human right?
Px |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd say that my worst traits are my temper and stubbornness.
I can manage my temper a hell of a lot better than when I was younger, these days I will just laugh a lot of things off, but I would probably still be described as feisty by a lot of people. I think it's because I have a lot of passion for life in general, so I get excited about the smallest pleasurable things - but that same passion does come through when something upsets me.
My stubbornness is a self-preservation technique borne of being hurt in the past - I will simply shut people out of my life if they hurt me. No second chances, I won't give anybody a second opportunity to hurt me.
So yes, in answer to your OP, I'm fully aware of them and why they are there, and can manage them adequately. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't think what you describe is necessarily a nasty side. I am guarded and stubborn and have a tendency to push people away. However, those traits make me who I am and have allowed me to survive the most difficult situations. And my stubbornness for example, is also how I've built my life from nothing to where I am now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd say that my worst traits are my temper and stubbornness.
I can manage my temper a hell of a lot better than when I was younger, these days I will just laugh a lot of things off, but I would probably still be described as feisty by a lot of people. I think it's because I have a lot of passion for life in general, so I get excited about the smallest pleasurable things - but that same passion does come through when something upsets me.
My stubbornness is a self-preservation technique borne of being hurt in the past - I will simply shut people out of my life if they hurt me. No second chances, I won't give anybody a second opportunity to hurt me.
So yes, in answer to your OP, I'm fully aware of them and why they are there, and can manage them adequately. "
Can I just copy and paste this please....you've described mine almost to a tee.
The one other thing I have though is that I take forever to come around if I'm pushed too far and need to be left alone for a while. If the person who has pushed me keeps coming back for a peck and a dig it doesnt allow me what I need to calm down again so I run and try to hide.
A past life has left me with this awful trait and I'm trying to change it but the hardest part is I need to be in that state to change it...not pleasant at all  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd say that my worst traits are my temper and stubbornness.
I can manage my temper a hell of a lot better than when I was younger, these days I will just laugh a lot of things off, but I would probably still be described as feisty by a lot of people. I think it's because I have a lot of passion for life in general, so I get excited about the smallest pleasurable things - but that same passion does come through when something upsets me.
My stubbornness is a self-preservation technique borne of being hurt in the past - I will simply shut people out of my life if they hurt me. No second chances, I won't give anybody a second opportunity to hurt me.
So yes, in answer to your OP, I'm fully aware of them and why they are there, and can manage them adequately.
Can I just copy and paste this please....you've described mine almost to a tee.
The one other thing I have though is that I take forever to come around if I'm pushed too far and need to be left alone for a while. If the person who has pushed me keeps coming back for a peck and a dig it doesnt allow me what I need to calm down again so I run and try to hide.
A past life has left me with this awful trait and I'm trying to change it but the hardest part is I need to be in that state to change it...not pleasant at all "
I certainly dont have answers for you, but acceptance has been my greatest ally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yep. I’ve done a lot of work on my shadow over the years. Awareness of what triggers it, how to process emotion positively. Unpicking my conditioning and dealing with repressed emotions from childhood. I probably started on it while I was at University the first time, then did quite a lot of development through my work and particularly during my Masters degree. I still have significant unintegrated parts of my shadow and I just accept that at the moment and hope with time I’ll find ways to integrate them too and live life more fully than I do now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
I think I’m self aware enough to know to that I will always have more things to understand myself. More layers to be peeled away...constantly. Even this weekend, I had another insight. Sometimes you stubble over them, sometimes they’re dragged out of you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd say that my worst traits are my temper and stubbornness.
I can manage my temper a hell of a lot better than when I was younger, these days I will just laugh a lot of things off, but I would probably still be described as feisty by a lot of people. I think it's because I have a lot of passion for life in general, so I get excited about the smallest pleasurable things - but that same passion does come through when something upsets me.
My stubbornness is a self-preservation technique borne of being hurt in the past - I will simply shut people out of my life if they hurt me. No second chances, I won't give anybody a second opportunity to hurt me.
So yes, in answer to your OP, I'm fully aware of them and why they are there, and can manage them adequately.
Can I just copy and paste this please....you've described mine almost to a tee.
The one other thing I have though is that I take forever to come around if I'm pushed too far and need to be left alone for a while. If the person who has pushed me keeps coming back for a peck and a dig it doesnt allow me what I need to calm down again so I run and try to hide.
A past life has left me with this awful trait and I'm trying to change it but the hardest part is I need to be in that state to change it...not pleasant at all
I certainly dont have answers for you, but acceptance has been my greatest ally."
Oh I accept it and know my limits and what I need to do in the moment well enough, it's just hard to get others to understand it sometimes that's all.
It takes a lot to put me there thankfully and most of my traits have helped me deal with some truly horrible times and come out of the other side well.
I'm a happy bunny with myself in general  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Excuse me OP, I’m not happy you’ve not responded to my comment  "
I thought I’d written that then!
That’s one of my bad traits, I have an inflated and slightly entitled side of my personality where I expect everyone to acknowledge me and I’m prone to losing my shit when they don’t. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was trying to drink tea and scoff a donut"
I really fancy a donut now 
I am self aware, I know what pushes my buttons. Not so good at dealing with it though. For years I would bottle it up, now I'm biting back when they get pushed. Neither is good but I'm sure it'll even out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Excuse me OP, I’m not happy you’ve not responded to my comment
I thought I’d written that then!
That’s one of my bad traits, I have an inflated and slightly entitled side of my personality where I expect everyone to acknowledge me and I’m prone to losing my shit when they don’t. "
That just made me chuckle Annie, I love your honesty |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What IS this ugly side you speak of....?  
Glad you're back 
My god, someone actually missed me "
Yeah, I have you hotlisted and everything, and you went black... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What IS this ugly side you speak of....?
Glad you're back
My god, someone actually missed me
Yeah, I have you hotlisted and everything, and you went black... "
You should be in the perverts thread |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What IS this ugly side you speak of....?
Glad you're back
My god, someone actually missed me
Yeah, I have you hotlisted and everything, and you went black...
You should be in the perverts thread "
I didn't say I wanked over your pics! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What IS this ugly side you speak of....?
Glad you're back
My god, someone actually missed me
Yeah, I have you hotlisted and everything, and you went black...
You should be in the perverts thread
I didn't say I wanked over your pics! "
I bet you have though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What IS this ugly side you speak of....?
Glad you're back
My god, someone actually missed me
Yeah, I have you hotlisted and everything, and you went black...
You should be in the perverts thread
I didn't say I wanked over your pics!
I bet you have though "
You know I have!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes, though not an ugly side but more not so nice traits.
They have changed with my life over the years as I became more self aware. They were mostly brought on by other people’s influences.
Now I’m quite content as I cut those people/things out of my life and live a happy life.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fully aware. I let go of the negative emotions a long time ago after a severe crisis. Living without jealousy, insecurity and resentment is freedom. Those emotions are like a ball and chain around your neck. But I’m a long way from perfect. I make mistakes like everybody else, it’s just my mistakes come from a place of kindness. I am still vulnerable because of what happened to me, and I can be triggered and hurt. I can react in ways I might regret and end up making everything worse. But in the grand scheme, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Apologise to the people you hurt and forgive the people who hurt you. Let go and move forward. Life is too short for anything else Xx"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I know I have a temper, but I have kept that under check alot better this past year.
I also know my positives though.
I know I am selfless and loving, and would not intentionally ever upset someone.
I am giving and have all the time in the world for anyone who needs it.
My temper usually is triggered by selfish and hateful people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Iv got worse as Iv got older I don’t suffer fools as much as I used to
I think dealing with idiots in my day to day job have turn me into what I am today
To the general public I thank you
A good massage and counting to 10 and deep breathing at a social distance helps ?????????? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I don't really think I have an "ugly" side to my personality to be honest. For the most part i'm rational, level headed and considerate. I try not to hold grudges and don't do vendettas as they're all consuming and toxic. Something or someone greatly displeases me? I do my best to remove it / them from my life and carry on. I find that applying the maxim "do unto others as they would unto you" helps to keep an emotional and behavioural center you won't deviate much from. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *erdyWoman
over a year ago
wiltshire |
" Are you a purely aware of the ugly side of your personality and tackle it or even accept it? Maybe you dont feel you have one.
Jealousy, anger, prejudice,greed,resentment etc, all emotions we feel at some stage in life, but which can also become inherently toxic aspects in our lives if we let them take over.
How self aware are you? "
I'm the most self aware person in the world. You can't tell me anything negative about me I don't already know. Wish more were the same. Shocking the amount who aren't self aware. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The older I get the more I realise that there's always something to learn about oneself. I think as with most things you probably stop being self aware when you think you know everything there is to know about yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"The older I get the more I realise that there's always something to learn about oneself. I think as with most things you probably stop being self aware when you think you know everything there is to know about yourself. "
Utterly this... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The older I get the more I realise that there's always something to learn about oneself. I think as with most things you probably stop being self aware when you think you know everything there is to know about yourself. "
Oh, absolutely.
For me it's hard to find the line between self examination and needlessly beating myself up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Fully aware. I let go of the negative emotions a long time ago after a severe crisis. Living without jealousy, insecurity and resentment is freedom. Those emotions are like a ball and chain around your neck. But I’m a long way from perfect. I make mistakes like everybody else, it’s just my mistakes come from a place of kindness. I am still vulnerable because of what happened to me, and I can be triggered and hurt. I can react in ways I might regret and end up making everything worse. But in the grand scheme, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Apologise to the people you hurt and forgive the people who hurt you. Let go and move forward. Life is too short for anything else Xx"
This is really lovely, the last paragraph in particular is something that really resonates with me and an area I'm still working on.
I know my flaws and undoubtedly there will still be some I've yet to unearth - I'm human and with that comes the weaknesses we're prone to. I've never been a jealous sort, I know I can be rather bitchy at times and my competitive nature is both a positive and negative. I'm still a work in progress. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't call it an ugly side!!!
It's my character defect everyone has one it's not ugly it's probably the most real part of your personality because we can't hide it and it's real |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think my ugly side is that I choose to walk away rather than fight and can come across as being insensitive, I find sympathy hard to bestow unless you are a close friend, expecting people to just get on with it rather than moan about it,
I rarely lose my temper and am quite happy to coast along in my own little world tbh |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m totally aware of my faults , being a needy brat at times probably being the worst of them but I do know I’m a good person that does a lot of good things for a lot of people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The older I get the more I realise that there's always something to learn about oneself. I think as with most things you probably stop being self aware when you think you know everything there is to know about yourself. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Are you a purely aware of the ugly side of your personality and tackle it or even accept it? Maybe you dont feel you have one.
Jealousy, anger, prejudice,greed,resentment etc, all emotions we feel at some stage in life, but which can also become inherently toxic aspects in our lives if we let them take over.
How self aware are you? "
Very. I think relationships are the best tools to help you look at yourself (but not whilst in those relationships). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The older I get the more I realise that there's always something to learn about oneself. I think as with most things you probably stop being self aware when you think you know everything there is to know about yourself. "
I agree with you because we are not static, we evolve due to our experiences. Hopefully we all move to or towards a better version of ourselves but seeing the state of the world, it's unlikely. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The older I get the more I realise that there's always something to learn about oneself. I think as with most things you probably stop being self aware when you think you know everything there is to know about yourself.
I agree with you because we are not static, we evolve due to our experiences. Hopefully we all move to or towards a better version of ourselves but seeing the state of the world, it's unlikely. "
I think we face choices when faced with crises, personal and otherwise. The path we take matters enormously for our personal growth. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'm acutely aware of my failings in life - some of which have dulled over the years, some of which have arisen more recently - I have a very fiery temper which when invoked leaves me being very irrational and saying things I wouldn't normally dream of saying - when I was younger it got me into a lot of trouble, but these days I can usually see it coming and walk away from a situation before it gets out of hand.
I'm also a terrible overthinker at times and will see things that simply aren't there - usually fix that one with a dose of reality and a head wobble.
There are probably other things too but on balance I think the good outweighs the bad. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
