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I want sex
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I live on my own, so there won't be any physical contact with anyone for a while. I'm OK with that but I do miss sex. Sex is good.
It's more of a no sex club, isn't it? Or is there more to the membership benefits than is advertised? Either way, I might as well join too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do we pretend orgasms as well?  
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference   "
I am just warming a pot of yoghurt... no one will notice |
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"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference "
If I cant tell that I'm pretending to have my own orgasms then I think i need to see a Dr |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
If I cant tell that I'm pretending to have my own orgasms then I think i need to see a Dr "
But I was talking about me  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
I am just warming a pot of yoghurt... no one will notice"
I won't tell Sophie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
I am just warming a pot of yoghurt... no one will notice
I won't tell Sophie."
(I think shes seen the post... bugger!) |
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"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
If I cant tell that I'm pretending to have my own orgasms then I think i need to see a Dr
But I was talking about me "
Ohhhhh, I may take a few attempts at working it out so bear with me |
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"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
I am just warming a pot of yoghurt... no one will notice
I won't tell Sophie.
(I think shes seen the post... bugger!)"
I know what yoghurt tastes like....even the organic pro biotic natural good for you stuff....I can tell these things  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
I am just warming a pot of yoghurt... no one will notice
I won't tell Sophie.
(I think shes seen the post... bugger!)
I know what yoghurt tastes like....even the organic pro biotic natural good for you stuff....I can tell these things "
We shall see |
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"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
I am just warming a pot of yoghurt... no one will notice
I won't tell Sophie.
(I think shes seen the post... bugger!)
I know what yoghurt tastes like....even the organic pro biotic natural good for you stuff....I can tell these things
We shall see "
I dont know now if I should feel confident or scared that I'll be able to tell the difference  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
I am just warming a pot of yoghurt... no one will notice
I won't tell Sophie.
(I think shes seen the post... bugger!)
I know what yoghurt tastes like....even the organic pro biotic natural good for you stuff....I can tell these things
We shall see
I dont know now if I should feel confident or scared that I'll be able to tell the difference "
Big pinch of sea salt mixed in .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do we pretend orgasms as well?
You can if you like, I want proper ones
Let's see if you can tell the difference
I am just warming a pot of yoghurt... no one will notice
I won't tell Sophie.
(I think shes seen the post... bugger!)
I know what yoghurt tastes like....even the organic pro biotic natural good for you stuff....I can tell these things
We shall see
I dont know now if I should feel confident or scared that I'll be able to tell the difference "
Busted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me too. Shame that wishing doesn't nake it so 
Even on my birthday...
Is it today? Happy birthday!"
It is. Thank you. Shared with Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. Well, it would be his too, if he wasn't dead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm heading back to my work for another 3 weeks tomorrow morning and I was hoping to get some fun before I go away! This shit had better be lifted by the time I get back. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm heading back to my work for another 3 weeks tomorrow morning and I was hoping to get some fun before I go away! This shit had better be lifted by the time I get back. "
To do some pumping |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me too. Shame that wishing doesn't nake it so
Even on my birthday...
Is it today? Happy birthday!
It is. Thank you. Shared with Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. Well, it would be his too, if he wasn't dead."
One of hubbies favourite musicians (hubby plays the uke too) can't watch THAT video on YouTube without balling my eyes out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just want cuddles, to be held and made to feel special.... said no man ever 
Yep missing the sex, very much so."
Come snuggle into my boobs you little cutie!! Then I will have my wicked way with you |
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"I just want cuddles, to be held and made to feel special.... said no man ever
Yep missing the sex, very much so.
Come snuggle into my boobs you little cutie!! Then I will have my wicked way with you "
You have enough boob there to share so can we have one each please  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just want cuddles, to be held and made to feel special.... said no man ever
Yep missing the sex, very much so.
Come snuggle into my boobs you little cutie!! Then I will have my wicked way with you
You have enough boob there to share so can we have one each please "
There is plenty to go round!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?! 
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee "
Stop telling porkies now |
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"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now "
Nope....I retracted my offer |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now
Nope....I retracted my offer "
Your loss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now
Nope....I retracted my offer
Your loss "
I'll take the tall ones plaice |
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"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now
Nope....I retracted my offer
Your loss "
You turned me down anyway |
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"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now
Nope....I retracted my offer
Your loss I'll take the tall ones plaice "
That plaice is my fish |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now
Nope....I retracted my offer
Your loss I'll take the tall ones plaice
That plaice is my fish "
Bloody fish everywhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now
Nope....I retracted my offer
Your loss I'll take the tall ones plaice
That plaice is my fish "
i thought you were fishy |
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"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now
Nope....I retracted my offer
Your loss I'll take the tall ones plaice
That plaice is my fish i thought you were fishy "
Hey! I smell nice I'll have you know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Soon!
I'm sure you won't be short of offers, you look fabulous !
The offers are here. But the question is when?!
Ahem! I'm not offering anything but my wit, sparkling conversation and coffee
Stop telling porkies now
Nope....I retracted my offer
Your loss I'll take the tall ones plaice
That plaice is my fish i thought you were fishy
Hey! I smell nice I'll have you know "
lol do you....... i believe you actually so do i always |
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"Now guys.. there's only one way to find out.. innit
You smell us both and let us know the truth?
If I smell anything fishy, you're out!! "
I'm already out, most of this site know I'm just a bloke in a dress |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm heading back to my work for another 3 weeks tomorrow morning and I was hoping to get some fun before I go away! This shit had better be lifted by the time I get back.
To do some pumping "
Exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me too. Shame that wishing doesn't nake it so
Even on my birthday...
Is it today? Happy birthday!
It is. Thank you. Shared with Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. Well, it would be his too, if he wasn't dead.
One of hubbies favourite musicians (hubby plays the uke too) can't watch THAT video on YouTube without balling my eyes out "
A bit special. Loved it at the end of Meet Joe Black. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t we all
You don't have it? what don’t we have
Sex. That's what thread is about. People who cannot have it but want it."
oh sorry we have three teens with thin walls so can’t let go does that count |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Don’t we all
You don't have it? what don’t we have
Sex. That's what thread is about. People who cannot have it but want it. oh sorry we have three teens with thin walls so can’t let go does that count "
Having kids wouldn't stop me from having sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Soon!
I think my virginity is growing back
I feel like I never lost it 
And we still have months to go
Oh don't make it any harder  "
Oh I mean I'm sure it wont be long now yeyyy |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
The thing with becoming a born-again virgin is that if your first first time was good, you'll get to relive the experience. If it wasn't, at least this time you have a chance to do it properly.
There's always a bright side! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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awwwww you still not had any it may be xmas eve before you can even contemplate crossing over to the other side and can say you are a sexual being once more but i for one say roll on summer |
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I’m pretty certain I’d eat most of them alive though! 