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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Start by telling her
Well I do but it’s her telling herself she’s not "
My ex was like that....got fed up trying to reassure her so ended up agreeing with her to shut her up |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Just keep telling her, it does slowly sink in even if she can't openly accept the compliment. She still hears it xx"
I agree with this too.
I know there are ladies that find it difficult to accept compliments, but all we can do is tell them how we see their beauty. |
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"If they don't believe you there's nothing you can do about it. People with low self esteem will ignore 99 genuine compliments and concentrate on 1 negative comment
So true"
The bad stuff is easier to believe.
(Name the movie quote  ) |
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"She won't believe she is, but she will believe YOU think she is.
Same as me, I don't believe I'm attractive, but I do believe B finds me attractive.
P"
I'm exactly the same, used to drive M nuts as I wouldn't accept a compliment. Think it's hardwired in a way you want to prove to yourself that you are ugly and therefore right. However, I've come to accept he thinks I'm beautiful, and it's not cause of what he said really. It was the little things, like pride in holding my hand in public wanting to be openly seen with me. It took time but if you're serious about someone the effort is worth it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they don't believe you there's nothing you can do about it. People with low self esteem will ignore 99 genuine compliments and concentrate on 1 negative comment "
Oh yes! That's the truth. If she doesn't like her appearance then you telling her won't change her mind. It's still a nice thing to do, but you can't make her love herself with your words, she needs to do that herself. So, just compliment her, let her know what you think of her, but don't expect it to just click. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She won't believe she is, but she will believe YOU think she is.
Same as me, I don't believe I'm attractive, but I do believe B finds me attractive.
P
I'm exactly the same, used to drive M nuts as I wouldn't accept a compliment. Think it's hardwired in a way you want to prove to yourself that you are ugly and therefore right. However, I've come to accept he thinks I'm beautiful, and it's not cause of what he said really. It was the little things, like pride in holding my hand in public wanting to be openly seen with me. It took time but if you're serious about someone the effort is worth it.
"
Took a while to truly believe.
The only person I would genuinely believe as there was no perceived ulterior motive was my son. If he said "mum you look nice" then I accepted and still do accept that as gospel.
P |
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"If they don't believe you there's nothing you can do about it. People with low self esteem will ignore 99 genuine compliments and concentrate on 1 negative comment
Oh yes! That's the truth. If she doesn't like her appearance then you telling her won't change her mind. It's still a nice thing to do, but you can't make her love herself with your words, she needs to do that herself. So, just compliment her, let her know what you think of her, but don't expect it to just click. "
It's about building yourself up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they don't believe you there's nothing you can do about it. People with low self esteem will ignore 99 genuine compliments and concentrate on 1 negative comment
Oh yes! That's the truth. If she doesn't like her appearance then you telling her won't change her mind. It's still a nice thing to do, but you can't make her love herself with your words, she needs to do that herself. So, just compliment her, let her know what you think of her, but don't expect it to just click.
It's about building yourself up."
Yup, you've got to learn to love amd accept yourself first I think. |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
I know of men who are the same.
It makes me sad.
He tells me that I have awful taste in men and that I'm weird.
He's beautiful, but he can't see it and hates being told.
I think he'll wake up one day when he's old and realise that I meant every word....But until then.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know of men who are the same.
It makes me sad.
He tells me that I have awful taste in men and that I'm weird.
F&B's beautiful, but he can't see it and hates being told.
I think he'll wake up one day when he's old and realise that I meant every word....But until then. "
I will |
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"If they don't believe you there's nothing you can do about it. People with low self esteem will ignore 99 genuine compliments and concentrate on 1 negative comment
Oh yes! That's the truth. If she doesn't like her appearance then you telling her won't change her mind. It's still a nice thing to do, but you can't make her love herself with your words, she needs to do that herself. So, just compliment her, let her know what you think of her, but don't expect it to just click.
It's about building yourself up.
Yup, you've got to learn to love amd accept yourself first I think. "
It's work I've done, and all anyone else can do is be safe and supportive while I work on myself |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"I know of men who are the same.
It makes me sad.
He tells me that I have awful taste in men and that I'm weird.
F&B's beautiful, but he can't see it and hates being told.
I think he'll wake up one day when he's old and realise that I meant every word....But until then.
I will "
Ha ha I went back and checked  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Believe it or not but having the balls to put pictures of myself up in places like Fab helped me. I would imagine she has probably had issues in the past, maybe been knocked a few times and that will ruin your efforts. She has to believe in herself. Personally it’s taken me years and years.  Just do what you feel is right as after all you want her to like you for being you and only you.  |
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