FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Would you be single rather then settling for less?
Would you be single rather then settling for less?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I would. I would rather be single all my life then to not find what I am looking for in a partner. I am as well happy being single so not in a rush either  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edrickWoman
over a year ago
nottingham |
I'm single through choice for now. Who knows when my knight in shining armour will appear in life but untill he arrives I definitely wont be settling with someone that doesnt tick all my boxes. Lifes too short to spend it with the wrong person! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes exactly this. I have always said I’m happy on my own and someone would have to be out of this world to change that. But deep down we all want to be loved xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm single through choice for now. Who knows when my knight in shining armour will appear in life but untill he arrives I definitely wont be settling with someone that doesnt tick all my boxes. Lifes too short to spend it with the wrong person!"
I was going to stay single till I saw this!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Leannes my 3rd wife been together 26 years and definitely ticks all the rite boxes couldn't imagine life without her wish we hadn't got so many kids though pmsfl... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think a lot of people maybe settle for less without realising because they make compromises in a give and take relationship to make it work. I would guess that most relationships are like this and only a fraction would have everything they wanted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah but what does settling for less mean? A relationship is about two personalities coming together with their own expectations so surely compromise has to happen? It’s down to the individual to decide exactly what they’re willing to compromise on though. Mr Perfect does not exist  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would. I would rather be single all my life then to not find what I am looking for in a partner. I am as well happy being single so not in a rush either "
I wasn’t....but having realised that there is more than just accepting that what you’ve o is the lot and to make so?!
No thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I like being in a relationship. I wouldn't settle but I know that successful relationships mean compromise. There are certain criteria that for me are non negotiable but beyond that there are things that I'm prepared to accept or even overlook. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah but what does settling for less mean? A relationship is about two personalities coming together with their own expectations so surely compromise has to happen? It’s down to the individual to decide exactly what they’re willing to compromise on though. Mr Perfect does not exist "
For me, there is a difference between compromising to allow for different personalities and settling.
Settling is giving up on something that is important to you and is likely to be an issue further down the line if so.
Compromising is giving up or changing small things that are not as important to you but are important to the success of a relationship.
Just my take on it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I would never enter a relationship intentionally settling for less, because that is doing both of you a disservice and will be doomed from the get go.
I have been in relationships where it has been an equal footing and then i find it’s me compromising more than him, and that leads to dissatisfaction.
Loving relationships, to me, mean you both work at making things work.
So no. I’m an all or nothing gal. I don’t need someone to make me happy, but it’s like having that bit extra and its the cherry on the cake. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I like being in a relationship. I wouldn't settle but I know that successful relationships mean compromise. There are certain criteria that for me are non negotiable but beyond that there are things that I'm prepared to accept or even overlook. "
I know what you mean, but I can make half a dozen bog rolls last me fòr at least a couple of months  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Absofuckinglutely.
I was single for over 3 years before meeting J. And even then we spent a good year trying to not be in a relationship...
I'm pretty sure he's the only man who could be made me not want to be single anymore.
Being alone is ALWAYS a better option than being with the wrong person!
Though, saying that...being with the right person, there's nowt better 
L |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like being in a relationship. I wouldn't settle but I know that successful relationships mean compromise. There are certain criteria that for me are non negotiable but beyond that there are things that I'm prepared to accept or even overlook. "
This.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Single and never been married. Wouldn't 'settle for less' but know in any relationship compromises have to be made. Certain element of give and take from both sides is vital for a healthy relationship. I do not want to be single for ever so if I found my match... Happy days |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I loved being single and honestly pushed great women away because I couldn’t give Them 100 percent.....
Now I found love and it’s the greatest feeling on earth.....
Being single was great for finding my true inner self...
But there is nothing like being in a loving relationship.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would. I would rather be single all my life then to not find what I am looking for in a partner. I am as well happy being single so not in a rush either "
I'd just rather be single full stop, I'm happy as I am |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Yeah but what does settling for less mean? A relationship is about two personalities coming together with their own expectations so surely compromise has to happen? It’s down to the individual to decide exactly what they’re willing to compromise on though. Mr Perfect does not exist "
Mr Perfect does exist. Sometimes you meet them and it just works. I would never ever go into a relationship again where I just settle because it's easier; being single taught me to have more self respect for myself and to actually like and love me for who I am. Now I've met truly incredible men who I'm very blessed to have in my life and sure, sometimes compromises are made but overall the relationships make me so incredibly happy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Definitely rather stay single. I split with the father of my boys nearly 18 years ago, I have had 1 very short relationship since which was a few years ago. I am happy by myself but am also open if it happens it happens.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thanks to a combination of good and toxic relationships I know exactly what I want and I'll know it when I meet him.
Easy being single for now, would much rather wait for the right guy than be miserable or bored with just anyone.
Plus I love my own company and I'm fully embracing crazy cat lady life  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah but what does settling for less mean? A relationship is about two personalities coming together with their own expectations so surely compromise has to happen? It’s down to the individual to decide exactly what they’re willing to compromise on though. Mr Perfect does not exist "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
Single life has its advantages only one person to worry about (as such), but i have noticed that over a long period of time being a singleton selfishness comes into play, which seems to make it harder for them to let another person into their life.
Does anyone go into a relationship thinking I'm going to have to settle for "that"?, I don't think that would be a good thing, if you fall for someone who may not have ticked all the boxes you wanted to have ticked.
There is a reason why you fell for them, the crossed boxes didn't matter in the first place.
Ps.. my nan said I was perfect and my mum confirmed this. although I know for some I'm too tall and they don't like hairy chests. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm single through choice for now. Who knows when my knight in shining armour will appear in life but untill he arrives I definitely wont be settling with someone that doesnt tick all my boxes. Lifes too short to spend it with the wrong person!"
You know the armour bit can be a bit impractical at times, takes some buffing as well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
Is anyone really going to willingly admit that they'd settle? Kids or finances are the only reasonable cases where people might settle for less. Even then, most probably end up cheating. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well that’s kind of what’s happened to me. Not including the guy I was seeing briefly last year but I’ve basically been single the last 10 years cos I’ve had a particular type that’s hard to find, even harder to find one that also likes me. It’s been an okay but quite lonely 10 years.
Now I’m getting older an looks are going with each passing year I’m gonna have to stop going for the physical attributes so much cod I don’t wanna be on my own anymore. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don’t like the term ‘settling’ I think it’s just another way of placing blame on the other person. There isn’t always a bad guy and a good guy in a relationship.
I wouldn’t stay with someone I’m no longer compatible with. We change over time and sometimes people just grow apart. I’m happy to walk away when it gets to that point as I don’t want to be held back, nor be the one to hold someone back. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Must be nice for this to be a choice. I don't get it. The choice is single or settling for less. The only other option is having it all. In which case, can't complain! "
If there's nothing to be settled for, there's no choice to be made. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"Must be nice for this to be a choice. I don't get it. The choice is single or settling for less. The only other option is having it all. In which case, can't complain!
If there's nothing to be settled for, there's no choice to be made."
I gotcha now, sorry. OK, now I am worried. Shit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Did settle, didn’t work. It is stupid and selfish. I ended up having an affair, losing half my money and causing a whole load of people who didn’t deserve it a bunch of misery. It’s never worth it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I love being single, in order the truely know ones self. If you settle for 'less', then yiu either have some self issue to work through or somebody is controling you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As compromising isnt setterling for less.
Id choose this way over filling out a load of tick boxes for mrs right.
Who maybe might not be what they seem to be, Yet fit all of the tick boxes for being mrs right. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would take someone really special for me to consider a relationship, so yes, I'd rather be single.
Would you be keen to mingle? "
I'm always happy to mingle. I actively date, or at least I did pre-Covid. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I like being in a relationship. I wouldn't settle but I know that successful relationships mean compromise. There are certain criteria that for me are non negotiable but beyond that there are things that I'm prepared to accept or even overlook. "
I think so , I prefer interdependence to independence so couldn’t imagine being alone long term. As long as they get the big important things right , I can deal with and work on minor differences |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes.
One shitty relationship where things weren't OK for a long time led me into a horrid casual thing with a narcissist.
Now I am blissfully happy, sometimes you don't realise how shit things are or were until you are out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes.
One shitty relationship where things weren't OK for a long time led me into a horrid casual thing with a narcissist.
Now I am blissfully happy, sometimes you don't realise how shit things are or were until you are out. "
Hindsight is valuable. Shame it comes along too late!!
I love the phrase 'blissfully happy'. Long may it continue! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"As compromising isnt setterling for less.
Id choose this way over filling out a load of tick boxes for mrs right.
Who maybe might not be what they seem to be, Yet fit all of the tick boxes for being mrs right. "
see I find compromise as settling for less. Hence I've now decided I will stay single x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes I would
I’ve just come out of a long term friendship with a lovely man, because I’m looking for more than he is.
It’s sad, but the right thing to do (in our case, I appreciate not everyone will feel the same). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't know that I would have to like everything about a person to want to be with them, aren't we meant to love the flaws too. I think it can be easy to get picky as we get older and probably more used to being our own person, Ok if you are the sort of person that absolutely won't compromise and are happy to perhaps accept you will never find someone. Ill take a few behaviours that may mean I want to thr*ttle you as long as I like most of the rest of you.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not sure what settling for less really means. I guess it depends on what we look for in a partner, some idealized "perfect" is probably unobtainable. After all we are all unique have our own idiosyncrasies flaws and maybe occasionally some features that draw us to others and them to us. Life isnt about lists of ideals it's about how we make another feel and how they may feel about us. It's about that one who is perfect for us, and we are "perfect" for them irrespective of how those on the outside may see us.
Settle for less. Isnt that just the absence of that connection that mutuality that love that is shared between people. Perfection like beauty can be ice cold and soulless. We are human, complex our emotions are guided in ways we may not fully understand.
But give me real human imperfect every time, rather than some false ideal. Less and more are relative.
It's how another makes us feel that makes our lives sparkle, and if we find that then we are truly blessed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
For me, single is the best and only option. I always thought I would be single my whole life but I met this wonderful lady who was everything a guy would want In a wife house proud, good cook attractive etc.
But I couldn't even make that work. We were married for 10 years, we are still very good friends and we help each other out if we can. She knows about Alex and has even brought me a couple of dresses.
I can't ever see me living with someone else and I am happy with that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't need a man and I certainly wouldn't settle.
I would of course compromise and we'd work together. Compliment each other. We may have different strengths and weaknesses but together we'd be strong. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't tolerate bad experiences and would totally prefer to be lonely than with a bad partner match for me. Single is great. Any relationship partner and relationship would have to be as good or better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes.
One shitty relationship where things weren't OK for a long time led me into a horrid casual thing with a narcissist.
Now I am blissfully happy, sometimes you don't realise how shit things are or were until you are out.
Hindsight is valuable. Shame it comes along too late!!
I love the phrase 'blissfully happy'. Long may it continue!"
It would be much nicer if there was no lockdown, but he's going to come live with me in paradise so all will be perfect soon. Hope you are well x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
