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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone else noticed the recent change in attitude of some Fab members?
It really is annoying.
Bhubaysi
"
Yeah, its probably people going stir crazy, which isn't an excuse to be fair.
Post covid, you can make a note of the arseholes and not meet any of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone else noticed the recent change in attitude of some Fab members?
It really is annoying.
Bhubaysi
Yeah, its probably people going stir crazy, which isn't an excuse to be fair.
Post covid, you can make a note of the arseholes and not meet any of them"
Well said always be polite that is my moto |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People do tend to forget about the actual person behind the profile before hitting send, no need for the personal attacks i've seen on some threads lately |
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"Yes and I will put hands up to being one of them, I am stressed, anxious and have many times deleted what I was going to say in response to a thread.
It will all change again once sex resumes  "
Same here. I've had to bite my tongue once or twice. lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone else noticed the recent change in attitude of some Fab members?
It really is annoying.
Bhubaysi
"
Look on the bright side and use it as a filter. If they're rude here you wouldn't want to meet them anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes it’s hard to put what you mean into words, or it can be read in a completely different manner to how it would sound if the person was speaking to you.
Or maybe sometimes you or the other person just doesn’t get the sense of humour with which something was written.
Personally I just don’t try to take what’s written too seriously, but yeah there’s some bitching n sniping going on of late, but then we’re relative newbies to the forums.
M |
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We take it that the extremes of situation around us are filtering through. When people are in fear they seek reassurance in voices they believe share the same opinions. When there is a clash, this background stress means they leap straight to "fight or flight' without thinking of consequences.
Not helpful, but not uncommon in socially volatile times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
True we all have a lot on and true that Fab is a place where we’re supposed to be able to escape to and vent, but. Stressful times bring out the best and worse in us and although I believe we should be a bit more forgiving than usual, god it’s hard sometimes.
On the other hand I have a few on my list both from here and real life that I know I don’t want anything more to do with. |
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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"I'm not overly sure what you mean OP. I'm more concerned with my own attitudes."
Change in attitudes!
Aggression
Nasty
Etc.
As some people have said, it’s a good reason not to meet them after lockdown if I was thinking of meeting anyone that is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There's has always been rude people on the forums! Mostly triggered by the fact that other peoples opinions don't always match theirs!
It's seems not all can agree to disagree and therefore feel the overwhelming need to argue to the death lol.
The most entertaining part is it can be about anything  |
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"True we all have a lot on and true that Fab is a place where we’re supposed to be able to escape to and vent, but. Stressful times bring out the best and worse in us and although I believe we should be a bit more forgiving than usual, god it’s hard sometimes.
On the other hand I have a few on my list both from here and real life that I know I don’t want anything more to do with."
This ^
The list grows weekly and my tongue has chunks missing from it ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm just me. I'm pretty much always in the same "clown" like mood. Some folk find me funny, some folk find me cheeky and others will think I'm being rude. The ones who think I'm being rude just need to lighten up. I never mean any offence to anyone.  |
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I haven't really seen much difference other than a few more "serious" and thought provoking threads, which I like anyway. To me a forum should be a mixed bag of everything...just skip past threads you don't like.
I think some of the problem is people being sensitive and taking posts as personal attacks when they really aren't, then resorting to personal attacks or playing the victim either on threads or in private messages. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, even if it differs from yours - I fully accept this, but I do like to engage in debate and challenge people to explain their reasoning in a mutually respectable way, it's good brain exercise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People do tend to forget about the actual person behind the profile before hitting send, no need for the personal attacks i've seen on some threads lately"
I totally agree here xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think people's moods have changed, not everyone's but some are really struggling at the moment. I'll be the first to say I've been a miserable cow lately but my friends have had my back and today my smile has returned. Let's raise eachother up and help the ones that need it right now
  |
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"I think people's moods have changed, not everyone's but some are really struggling at the moment. I'll be the first to say I've been a miserable cow lately but my friends have had my back and today my smile has returned. Let's raise eachother up and help the ones that need it right now
"
Well said xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes and I will put hands up to being one of them, I am stressed, anxious and have many times deleted what I was going to say in response to a thread.
It will all change again once sex resumes "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t see any change! What changed?  "
I think ppl are still the same tbh. Maybe it's missing some of the truly funny characters who make me laugh with their twisty turny wit and humour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t see any change! What changed?
I think ppl are still the same tbh. Maybe it's missing some of the truly funny characters who make me laugh with their twisty turny wit and humour "
Hey I’m still here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A bit over time and it’s changed overall in the few years of being on and off here, but just take it as a laugh and just let it go over your head and find the good ones x |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Anyone else noticed the recent change in attitude of some Fab members?
It really is annoying.
Bhubaysi
Yeah, its probably people going stir crazy, which isn't an excuse to be fair.
Post covid, you can make a note of the arseholes and not meet any of them"
Not noticed..... but do many people on forums actually meet anyway ? Have only ever met one ! Assumed mostly forumites & fake accounts / blokes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t see any change! What changed?
I think ppl are still the same tbh. Maybe it's missing some of the truly funny characters who make me laugh with their twisty turny wit and humour
Hey I’m still here! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've noticed.
I'm getting messages from people I've never spoken to telling me im fat (my block list is growing)
Mens statuses naming and shaming women (I assume they can't convince the woman to meet).
All of it needless
|
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I haven't really seen much difference other than a few more "serious" and thought provoking threads, which I like anyway. To me a forum should be a mixed bag of everything...just skip past threads you don't like.
I think some of the problem is people being sensitive and taking posts as personal attacks when they really aren't, then resorting to personal attacks or playing the victim either on threads or in private messages. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, even if it differs from yours - I fully accept this, but I do like to engage in debate and challenge people to explain their reasoning in a mutually respectable way, it's good brain exercise."
Perfectly stated |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I haven't really seen much difference other than a few more "serious" and thought provoking threads, which I like anyway. To me a forum should be a mixed bag of everything...just skip past threads you don't like.
I think some of the problem is people being sensitive and taking posts as personal attacks when they really aren't, then resorting to personal attacks or playing the victim either on threads or in private messages. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, even if it differs from yours - I fully accept this, but I do like to engage in debate and challenge people to explain their reasoning in a mutually respectable way, it's good brain exercise."
You've just saved me a lot of typing - pretty much sums up how I feel.
I'd add though that I'm not sure it's attitudes of individuals that has changed - more that there's been a "changing of the guard" lately with some of the old regulars going quiet and new ones coming in and whenever that has happened over the 4 years I've been using the forums there always is a settling down period during which people find their feet and get to know each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I probably pay less attention than I used to, but to me it doesn't seem much different to normal. If people are having a bad day it is easy enough to shrug off, fab life is all an illusion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'd add though that I'm not sure it's attitudes of individuals that has changed - more that there's been a "changing of the guard" lately with some of the old regulars going quiet and new ones coming in and whenever that has happened over the 4 years I've been using the forums there always is a settling down period during which people find their feet and get to know each other "
You echo what I was thinking recently. Older members complaining. New ones more or less happy. And the wheels will keep on rolling. Some will fall of the wagon. Some will move to the front seat. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
It feels to me like people are fighting to be ‘top dog’ somehow. I do think there has been an amount of digging and sniping which I think is really unfortunate.
Whilst I appreciate people are struggling and times are hard, I do not think that excuses bad behaviour. I would log off if I was in a mood not take it out on others. But then we’re all different aren’t we?
I will carry on doing my own thing in my own way though |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
I'd add though that I'm not sure it's attitudes of individuals that has changed - more that there's been a "changing of the guard" lately with some of the old regulars going quiet and new ones coming in and whenever that has happened over the 4 years I've been using the forums there always is a settling down period during which people find their feet and get to know each other
You echo what I was thinking recently. Older members complaining. New ones more or less happy. And the wheels will keep on rolling. Some will fall of the wagon. Some will move to the front seat. "
And it's ever been thus - think there's also an element of people revealing their true colours over time and the natural thing of as people get to know each other they see things and each other differently....it's the circle of Fab life at work.
Agree with the OP though that there is no need for nastiness, but do think there are some sensitive souls about too who see nastiness where there is none, or see an opposing view as sniping or an attack when a lot of the time it is a simple difference of opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It feels to me like people are fighting to be ‘top dog’ somehow. I do think there has been an amount of digging and sniping which I think is really unfortunate.
Whilst I appreciate people are struggling and times are hard, I do not think that excuses bad behaviour. I would log off if I was in a mood not take it out on others. But then we’re all different aren’t we?
I will carry on doing my own thing in my own way though "
Agree. It's like they hang around in packs and savage anyone who dares to question or say something wrong to them, they all then pile in together. Shame really as it used to be good in here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'd add though that I'm not sure it's attitudes of individuals that has changed - more that there's been a "changing of the guard" lately with some of the old regulars going quiet and new ones coming in and whenever that has happened over the 4 years I've been using the forums there always is a settling down period during which people find their feet and get to know each other
You echo what I was thinking recently. Older members complaining. New ones more or less happy. And the wheels will keep on rolling. Some will fall of the wagon. Some will move to the front seat.
And it's ever been thus - think there's also an element of people revealing their true colours over time and the natural thing of as people get to know each other they see things and each other differently....it's the circle of Fab life at work.
Agree with the OP though that there is no need for nastiness, but do think there are some sensitive souls about too who see nastiness where there is none, or see an opposing view as sniping or an attack when a lot of the time it is a simple difference of opinion."
Or people looking for an opportunity to divide. highlighting negatives can bring that too. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
Or people looking for an opportunity to divide. highlighting negatives can bring that too. "
Oh there's elements of everything goes on - the thing is though it's a diverse group of people from all walks of life and life's experiences so really is a melting pot of opinions, thoughts and ideas, and because it's all textual context, tone and meaning are very often missed - I've done it myself where I've responded to an OP very early on, to later realise what was said was meant in an entirely different way to how I had read it.
Just think sometimes we all need to be more cognisant of that and not look for offence in everything we see written in words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People do tend to forget about the actual person behind the profile before hitting send, no need for the personal attacks i've seen on some threads lately"
I agree. There's a lot of judgement on Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Or people looking for an opportunity to divide. highlighting negatives can bring that too.
Oh there's elements of everything goes on - the thing is though it's a diverse group of people from all walks of life and life's experiences so really is a melting pot of opinions, thoughts and ideas, and because it's all textual context, tone and meaning are very often missed - I've done it myself where I've responded to an OP very early on, to later realise what was said was meant in an entirely different way to how I had read it.
Just think sometimes we all need to be more cognisant of that and not look for offence in everything we see written in words "
Melting pot is a very accurate description. so many ingredients, spices and.. cooks and everyone seems to have a different recipe. |
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"
Or people looking for an opportunity to divide. highlighting negatives can bring that too.
Oh there's elements of everything goes on - the thing is though it's a diverse group of people from all walks of life and life's experiences so really is a melting pot of opinions, thoughts and ideas, and because it's all textual context, tone and meaning are very often missed - I've done it myself where I've responded to an OP very early on, to later realise what was said was meant in an entirely different way to how I had read it.
Just think sometimes we all need to be more cognisant of that and not look for offence in everything we see written in words
Melting pot is a very accurate description. so many ingredients, spices and.. cooks and everyone seems to have a different recipe. "
And unfortunately at the moment it seems to be a bit of a pressure cooker. I'm struggling with it too. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
Or people looking for an opportunity to divide. highlighting negatives can bring that too.
Oh there's elements of everything goes on - the thing is though it's a diverse group of people from all walks of life and life's experiences so really is a melting pot of opinions, thoughts and ideas, and because it's all textual context, tone and meaning are very often missed - I've done it myself where I've responded to an OP very early on, to later realise what was said was meant in an entirely different way to how I had read it.
Just think sometimes we all need to be more cognisant of that and not look for offence in everything we see written in words
Melting pot is a very accurate description. so many ingredients, spices and.. cooks and everyone seems to have a different recipe. "
But that's the joy of cookery books - you can always find the ingredients to make something to your liking - no point in worrying about tastes that are not to your own, even if it was a flavour you may once have liked - just find a different recipe that you like the look of and want to try - or if you find one that works keeping going back for more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Or people looking for an opportunity to divide. highlighting negatives can bring that too.
Oh there's elements of everything goes on - the thing is though it's a diverse group of people from all walks of life and life's experiences so really is a melting pot of opinions, thoughts and ideas, and because it's all textual context, tone and meaning are very often missed - I've done it myself where I've responded to an OP very early on, to later realise what was said was meant in an entirely different way to how I had read it.
Just think sometimes we all need to be more cognisant of that and not look for offence in everything we see written in words
Melting pot is a very accurate description. so many ingredients, spices and.. cooks and everyone seems to have a different recipe.
And unfortunately at the moment it seems to be a bit of a pressure cooker. I'm struggling with it too."
.. This shall pass too. It's just a big wheel taking another circle and we just hit the top.. now diving deep down. We just need to stay on track hey..? X |
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"
Or people looking for an opportunity to divide. highlighting negatives can bring that too.
Oh there's elements of everything goes on - the thing is though it's a diverse group of people from all walks of life and life's experiences so really is a melting pot of opinions, thoughts and ideas, and because it's all textual context, tone and meaning are very often missed - I've done it myself where I've responded to an OP very early on, to later realise what was said was meant in an entirely different way to how I had read it.
Just think sometimes we all need to be more cognisant of that and not look for offence in everything we see written in words
Melting pot is a very accurate description. so many ingredients, spices and.. cooks and everyone seems to have a different recipe.
And unfortunately at the moment it seems to be a bit of a pressure cooker. I'm struggling with it too.
.. This shall pass too. It's just a big wheel taking another circle and we just hit the top.. now diving deep down. We just need to stay on track hey..? X"
For now, I'm just trying to stop things getting worse. With the resources I've got. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Melting pot is a very accurate description. so many ingredients, spices and.. cooks and everyone seems to have a different recipe.
But that's the joy of cookery books - you can always find the ingredients to make something to your liking - no point in worrying about tastes that are not to your own, even if it was a flavour you may once have liked - just find a different recipe that you like the look of and want to try - or if you find one that works keeping going back for more "
Beautifully put.
I will try to remember to turn the pages to my favourite chapters |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling  what can we do? x "
As ever Babs - if they're genuinely struggling and in need, let them know you're thinking of them and do what you can to help them - sometimes though if people don't want to be helped then there's not a lot you can do apart from leave them to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
.. This shall pass too. It's just a big wheel taking another circle and we just hit the top.. now diving deep down. We just need to stay on track hey..? X
For now, I'm just trying to stop things getting worse. With the resources I've got."
That's good enough. X |
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"
.. This shall pass too. It's just a big wheel taking another circle and we just hit the top.. now diving deep down. We just need to stay on track hey..? X
For now, I'm just trying to stop things getting worse. With the resources I've got.
That's good enough. X"
It isn't, but it's all I have in my power. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
Melting pot is a very accurate description. so many ingredients, spices and.. cooks and everyone seems to have a different recipe.
But that's the joy of cookery books - you can always find the ingredients to make something to your liking - no point in worrying about tastes that are not to your own, even if it was a flavour you may once have liked - just find a different recipe that you like the look of and want to try - or if you find one that works keeping going back for more
Beautifully put.
I will try to remember to turn the pages to my favourite chapters "
It's the best way to cook up something you like and avoid any unpleasant after tastes |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex."
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
As ever Babs - if they're genuinely struggling and in need, let them know you're thinking of them and do what you can to help them - sometimes though if people don't want to be helped then there's not a lot you can do apart from leave them to it."
You’re quite right GM |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex.
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time "
Send nudes Babs. That will help.
I think you were right with what you said earlier, there is quite a lot of sniping going on, most threads contain it right now sadly. I don't know what can be done, that's very personal to each person and there's no blanket wisdom available. Keep being you Babs, that'll help. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex.
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time "
I just read your sex chat in a Sgt Wilson on Dad's Army voice  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex.
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time
Send nudes Babs. That will help.
I think you were right with what you said earlier, there is quite a lot of sniping going on, most threads contain it right now sadly. I don't know what can be done, that's very personal to each person and there's no blanket wisdom available. Keep being you Babs, that'll help."
Do I have to send nudes? oh people like nudes so then the sex chat will work? It’s worth a try |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex.
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time
I just read your sex chat in a Sgt Wilson on Dad's Army voice "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex.
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time "
You're good. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex.
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time
You're good."
Stop masturbating James. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex.
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time
You're good.
Stop masturbating James. "
Everyday I'm shuffling. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I don’t like to think of people struggling what can we do? x
You should call all the Fabswingers and give them your horny phone sex.
I could attempt horny phone sex if it helps. People love my sex chat. “would you mind awfully popping your penis into my vagina?” Works every time
You're good.
Stop masturbating James.
Everyday I'm shuffling."
Party Rock! |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here. "
I do think there’s some merit to that Chill. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here. "
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts."
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming. |
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming. "
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head |
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By *uxinteriorMan
over a year ago
south west , continental |
"There's has always been rude people on the forums! Mostly triggered by the fact that other peoples opinions don't always match theirs
The most entertaining part is it can be about anything "
well said, I have begun to distance myself thoroughly from the forums. I would rather have a nice cup of tea and get on with projects that are far more interesting and rewarding. This period has been useful in fast tracking a vintage truck restoration. So I have avoided all the negativity and those huge egos that tend to shout louder than everyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming. "
I think you have got the nail on the head. You can then tach the pattern of a group of posters doing it and backing each other up and that is group bullying.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming.
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head "
Took the words right out of my mouth and goes back to what I was saying further up about context and meaning being easily misunderstood here at times - I know I've done it in the past where I've thought something that has been said was targeted at me yet subsequent conversations with the person that made it have proved it was nothing of the sort.
It *is* easy to read too much into a comment someone has made, particularly if you *want* to see something a particular way in your own head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming.
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head "
Sure that can happen but those that know they are doing it, know they are doing it, just as those that are being targeted know they are being targeted. As Chill rightly said, “There is usually a history that increases the sensitivities’.
I’ve been on the forum for 6 years and I have seen it so many times. We know when we are doing it. |
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming.
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head
Sure that can happen but those that know they are doing it, know they are doing it, just as those that are being targeted know they are being targeted. As Chill rightly said, “There is usually a history that increases the sensitivities’.
I’ve been on the forum for 6 years and I have seen it so many times. We know when we are doing it. "
Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming.
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head "
Both are entirely possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming.
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head
Sure that can happen but those that know they are doing it, know they are doing it, just as those that are being targeted know they are being targeted. As Chill rightly said, “There is usually a history that increases the sensitivities’.
I’ve been on the forum for 6 years and I have seen it so many times. We know when we are doing it.
Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course "
That comes with not healed wounds I guess. |
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming.
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head
Sure that can happen but those that know they are doing it, know they are doing it, just as those that are being targeted know they are being targeted. As Chill rightly said, “There is usually a history that increases the sensitivities’.
I’ve been on the forum for 6 years and I have seen it so many times. We know when we are doing it.
Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess. "
Of course it can, but should they join certain topics of threads if still have those wounds and can’t be part of a discussion without taking majority of comments personally.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming.
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head
Sure that can happen but those that know they are doing it, know they are doing it, just as those that are being targeted know they are being targeted. As Chill rightly said, “There is usually a history that increases the sensitivities’.
I’ve been on the forum for 6 years and I have seen it so many times. We know when we are doing it.
Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess.
Of course it can, but should they join certain topics of threads if still have those wounds and can’t be part of a discussion without taking majority of comments personally.
"
I dont know Spurs. Then I think Doc has a point too. Some people could bite their tongue a little if there are unresolved issues. Just put it behind. Avoid each other perhaps. Hard one. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess. "
It can do - but hypothetically speaking (for the avoidance of any doubts that I am referring to something specific, which I am not) when that's the case should others have to watch what they say when stating a generalised opinion so that person doesn't think it's about them? Or should the person be less sensitive and not continually think something is about them? Especially in a "no strings" environment where strings haven't been offered? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess.
It can do - but hypothetically speaking (for the avoidance of any doubts that I am referring to something specific, which I am not) when that's the case should others have to watch what they say when stating a generalised opinion so that person doesn't think it's about them? Or should the person be less sensitive and not continually think something is about them? Especially in a "no strings" environment where strings haven't been offered?"
It would be good if hypothetical "they" could meet in the middle. But probably with history of conflict it might not be always possible. Or not immediately.
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming.
On the other hand some can read too much into a general discussion comment and make it about themselves in their head
Sure that can happen but those that know they are doing it, know they are doing it, just as those that are being targeted know they are being targeted. As Chill rightly said, “There is usually a history that increases the sensitivities’.
I’ve been on the forum for 6 years and I have seen it so many times. We know when we are doing it.
Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess.
Of course it can, but should they join certain topics of threads if still have those wounds and can’t be part of a discussion without taking majority of comments personally.
I dont know Spurs. Then I think Doc has a point too. Some people could bite their tongue a little if there are unresolved issues. Just put it behind. Avoid each other perhaps. Hard one. "
Agreed but that has to work both ways in what I sad and what Doc implied |
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"Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess.
It can do - but hypothetically speaking (for the avoidance of any doubts that I am referring to something specific, which I am not) when that's the case should others have to watch what they say when stating a generalised opinion so that person doesn't think it's about them? Or should the person be less sensitive and not continually think something is about them? Especially in a "no strings" environment where strings haven't been offered?"
I was just typing something along those lines...as ever you're more eloquent than I |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess.
It can do - but hypothetically speaking (for the avoidance of any doubts that I am referring to something specific, which I am not) when that's the case should others have to watch what they say when stating a generalised opinion so that person doesn't think it's about them? Or should the person be less sensitive and not continually think something is about them? Especially in a "no strings" environment where strings haven't been offered?
I was just typing something along those lines...as ever you're more eloquent than I "
There could be one string GM. A right to peaceful use of forum, after things ended, without those "some people" posts. It goes BOTH ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess.
It can do - but hypothetically speaking (for the avoidance of any doubts that I am referring to something specific, which I am not) when that's the case should others have to watch what they say when stating a generalised opinion so that person doesn't think it's about them? Or should the person be less sensitive and not continually think something is about them? Especially in a "no strings" environment where strings haven't been offered?
I was just typing something along those lines...as ever you're more eloquent than I
There could be one string GM. A right to peaceful use of forum, after things ended, without those "some people" posts. It goes BOTH ways. "
I hope some people can put an end it now, before the game gets out of hand. |
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"I think some can take offence at differing opinions not based on their content, but instead on any past history or animosity with that person. It's unfortunate that people can have difficulty separating the waters, as it were.
I think the more importance someone places being here; having fab occupy too large a role in their life, the more intensely they'll read into everything that's mentioned here.
I think that’s inevitable when posters target them indirectly through forum posts.
Yes.. it usually goes: "Some people on here..(insert description of behaviour.. " so other wonder who the op meant.. and possibly inquire privately)..or open up privately about someone or join the public execution.. the addressee usually knows its them, rest is oblivious. Aim achieved: making someone feel worse without getting forum ban and naming. "
They usually overplay their hand and a private word usually makes them realise that Mods are aware and that they left the playground many years ago..... or they get a permanent ban if they can't get over it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just like it is easy to read those that always seem to pick up on the slightest comment made in a thread as personal and about them
Any poster should be free to write what they wish in a context of a thread discussion without thinking ‘oh who is this going to offend today’, within the rules of course
That comes with not healed wounds I guess.
It can do - but hypothetically speaking (for the avoidance of any doubts that I am referring to something specific, which I am not) when that's the case should others have to watch what they say when stating a generalised opinion so that person doesn't think it's about them? Or should the person be less sensitive and not continually think something is about them? Especially in a "no strings" environment where strings haven't been offered?"
people are either sensitive or they are not and people either think they are being discussed or they don't its life if you don't know the person and i mean 'know' the person, it means zip, its a forum if you post in it its open for debate, if a person gets personal then they ultimately should be punished within the rules but sometimes the rules are open to misinterpretation  play nice or don't play  |
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"I've noticed.
I'm getting messages from people I've never spoken to telling me im fat (my block list is growing)
Mens statuses naming and shaming women (I assume they can't convince the woman to meet).
All of it needless
"
This is horrible. I’m sorry it’s happened to you. I think you’re beautiful.  |
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