Luckily you have in your possession the latest weapon in the referee's armoury - the 'Chuntering Jimmy' - an FA sanctioned battery-powered tobyjug of Jimmy Nail that can be used to mollify angry players by broadcasting titbits of earthy common-sense and mildly amusing snippets from Jimmy's back catalogue. Issue a clear blast on your whistle, award the goal and point to the centre-circle, before deploying your Chuntering Jimmy near the angry defenders in the hope that the chorus from Crocodile Shoes will delight the defending team sufficiently for the game to continue. |
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