FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A secret place.
A secret place.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Quite a few deeper questions to be found on here today.
So seeing as I am such a 'deep thinker' I will add 3 of my own.
Believe me when I say I have wrestled with them day and night!
Do you keep a bit of your self away from the forums?
Parts reserved just for other places?
Are you not afraid of over exposure?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are."
I’d like to look at your front and backstage  |
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"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I’d like to look at your front and backstage "
Looks like you are onto a winner here F&B  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I’d like to look at your front and backstage
Looks like you are onto a winner here F&B "
I'd like to do her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I’d like to look at your front and backstage "
You have made an off-stage type of approach..but you can stay if the young man wants you to?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are."
he ripped off Shakespeare with that |
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"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I’d like to look at your front and backstage
Looks like you are onto a winner here F&B
I'd like to do her "
Drop her a PM |
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"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
he ripped off Shakespeare with that"
Didnt he ripoff Christopher Marlowe? |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I’d like to look at your front and backstage You have made an off-stage type of approach..but you can stay if the young man wants you to? "
Thanks I’ll ask him |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are."
Back on track... If this is a true quote and F&B has his detractors!
Why does its author presume EVERYTHING 'front stage' is done for some sort of selfish promotion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are. Back on track... If this is a true quote and F&B has his detractors!
Why does its author presume EVERYTHING 'front stage' is done for some sort of selfish promotion?"
Because it is. Impression management is the proof of it especially on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are. Back on track... If this is a true quote and F&B has his detractors!
Why does its author presume EVERYTHING 'front stage' is done for some sort of selfish promotion?
Because it is. Impression management is the proof of it especially on here. "
What about motive?
For example some may use the forums just to chat...and if they click with someone maybe take it further.
Others are hoping to meet someone through the forums.
Could you consider there might be a slight difference in impression management between those two? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are. Back on track... If this is a true quote and F&B has his detractors!
Why does its author presume EVERYTHING 'front stage' is done for some sort of selfish promotion?
Because it is. Impression management is the proof of it especially on here. What about motive?
For example some may use the forums just to chat...and if they click with someone maybe take it further.
Others are hoping to meet someone through the forums.
Could you consider there might be a slight difference in impression management between those two?"
Still others are not seeking to meet anyone at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I’d like to look at your front and backstage "
 |
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"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are."
C'est vrai
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are. Back on track... If this is a true quote and F&B has his detractors!
Why does its author presume EVERYTHING 'front stage' is done for some sort of selfish promotion?
Because it is. Impression management is the proof of it especially on here. What about motive?
For example some may use the forums just to chat...and if they click with someone maybe take it further.
Others are hoping to meet someone through the forums.
Could you consider there might be a slight difference in impression management between those two?"
Well yes definitely. Most ppl will mold themselves into what they believe ppl think of them. Especially if it will lead to a goal that the person has in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are."
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
C'est vrai
"
So you are all actors on this great (and I do mean) great stage I have set for you.
One problem is this play has far too many jesters and needs some balance.
The great plays always need balance?
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"Do you keep a bit of your self away from the forums?
Parts reserved just for other places?
Are you not afraid of over exposure?
"
- yes. Many personal details, my family. Those details are a huge part of my life, but as I’m not really wanting someone who is involved in that side of my life...and there are some people on here without my best interests at heart...it’s mostly off limits.
- yes-ish. Similar to the above. I guess some vulnerable moments are best kept for real life friends...or at least people I’ve met. Unless it was highly fab-relevant, I probably wouldn’t share in the public forum.
- not really. Easy to accidentally overshare in a forum post so I’m generally careful what I say.
So am I being a different person..? No.
But am I showing my full self..? No. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit "
An Interesting point. BUT how about synching the two a bit more? Maybe not on the forum but by PMs with the right people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit An Interesting point. BUT how about synching the two a bit more? Maybe not on the forum but by PMs with the right people? "
Huh? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you keep a bit of your self away from the forums?
Parts reserved just for other places?
Are you not afraid of over exposure?
- yes. Many personal details, my family. Those details are a huge part of my life, but as I’m not really wanting someone who is involved in that side of my life...and there are some people on here without my best interests at heart...it’s mostly off limits.
- yes-ish. Similar to the above. I guess some vulnerable moments are best kept for real life friends...or at least people I’ve met. Unless it was highly fab-relevant, I probably wouldn’t share in the public forum.
- not really. Easy to accidentally overshare in a forum post so I’m generally careful what I say.
So am I being a different person..? No.
But am I showing my full self..? No. "
Self-protection is an important part of self-preservation. But it's good to be able to share publicly at times too, like you I would be careful about that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit "
I like the way you put this that's why I said an Interesting point.
Is this how you personally see yourself on here? |
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"
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit "
I think I'm the other way around - I'd say I'm relatively reserved in the forums, I'm a lot more lively and opinionated in person |
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I am an open book and possibly over share at times. But then again when I do I tend to talk to others in my personal messages after I've exposed myself a bit. I am awkward and shy, but also passionate about certain things and that shows on certain threads.
I try and limit my bat shit craziness here, but I tend to do that off from here too. I think that's me though in general, until I know someone, my poor friends |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit
I think I'm the other way around - I'd say I'm relatively reserved in the forums, I'm a lot more lively and opinionated in person "
You do have a way of peeking in on here quietly...but it comes across nicely. |
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"Quite a few deeper questions to be found on here today.
So seeing as I am such a 'deep thinker' I will add 3 of my own.
Believe me when I say I have wrestled with them day and night!
Do you keep a bit of your self away from the forums?
Parts reserved just for other places?
Are you not afraid of over exposure?
"
1)Yes and that bit is the big toe on my right foot.
2)Yes I reserve some of my parts for other places.One of those other places is Peckham
3)Over exposure is for photographic negatives (ask your mum to explain what they were)
|
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"
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit
I think I'm the other way around - I'd say I'm relatively reserved in the forums, I'm a lot more lively and opinionated in person You do have a way of peeking in on here quietly...but it comes across nicely. "
Stealth mode...  and thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am an open book and possibly over share at times. But then again when I do I tend to talk to others in my personal messages after I've exposed myself a bit. I am awkward and shy, but also passionate about certain things and that shows on certain threads.
I try and limit my bat shit craziness here, but I tend to do that off from here too. I think that's me though in general, until I know someone, my poor friends "
Thanks for this and you have my respect and admiration for sharing a part of yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Quite a few deeper questions to be found on here today.
So seeing as I am such a 'deep thinker' I will add 3 of my own.
Believe me when I say I have wrestled with them day and night!
Do you keep a bit of your self away from the forums?
Parts reserved just for other places?
Are you not afraid of over exposure?
1)Yes and that bit is the big toe on my right foot.
2)Yes I reserve some of my parts for other places.One of those other places is Peckham
3)Over exposure is for photographic negatives (ask your mum to explain what they were)
"
Only a Minx could come up with that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit I like the way you put this that's why I said an Interesting point.
Is this how you personally see yourself on here?"
Not at all. I'm pretty much myself here, it's my place to dick about and have fun with friends. Plus humans fascinate me with their simple complexity and it helps me with my work in a way to understand how ppl tick. My place on here is a GOOD PLACE personally but I do sadly see a lot of folk here who are so obviously suffering and creating an identity and escape which can in turn become more important than the things that really truly matter  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are.
I like this! I often view fabbers as being like an amdram group, all lovey and hammy and overstated in public, but then frequently when in private they're quite different and awkward.... ...like the forum is their superhero suit innit I like the way you put this that's why I said an Interesting point.
Is this how you personally see yourself on here?
Not at all. I'm pretty much myself here, it's my place to dick about and have fun with friends. Plus humans fascinate me with their simple complexity and it helps me with my work in a way to understand how ppl tick. My place on here is a GOOD PLACE personally but I do sadly see a lot of folk here who are so obviously suffering and creating an identity and escape which can in turn become more important than the things that really truly matter "
OK. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I reckon everyone does to a certain extent.
I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical approach of how people portray themselves in public. He posits that all the world is like a stage and that people are merely performers or “actors” on that stage.
People will portray themselves in order to best serve their interests.
Furthermore there is the actor’s front and backstage performances. Which can be quite opposite to each other, the later being more private and the actors are the only ones to see it. When alone, they can truly be themselves because there is no one to impress or change who they are. Back on track... If this is a true quote and F&B has his detractors!
Why does its author presume EVERYTHING 'front stage' is done for some sort of selfish promotion?
Because it is. Impression management is the proof of it especially on here. What about motive?
For example some may use the forums just to chat...and if they click with someone maybe take it further.
Others are hoping to meet someone through the forums.
Could you consider there might be a slight difference in impression management between those two?
Well yes definitely. Most ppl will mold themselves into what they believe ppl think of them. Especially if it will lead to a goal that the person has in the first place. "
A sad place for 'Most people' to be! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No,as my profile shows Im open with my life and who I am but its possibly because i ve spent decades living in the shadows hiding, which didn t work out at all,that now the happy in my new skin has come about I figure be who I am and I have to say,life is far more straight forward. So the person I am on here is the person I am, full stop. Do I worry about other people using what they may learn..? Nope. There are only two people in my life and they know EVERYTHING already. Do I worry about how others see me? Nope..theirs is nothing more than an opinion according to their beliefs which they re entitled to but it has no reflection or impact on me personally. Oh and if you re confused about new skin..my life suffered major meltdown from which it rebooted and the real hidden me exploded onto the scene |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No,as my profile shows Im open with my life and who I am but its possibly because i ve spent decades living in the shadows hiding, which didn t work out at all,that now the happy in my new skin has come about I figure be who I am and I have to say,life is far more straight forward. So the person I am on here is the person I am, full stop. Do I worry about other people using what they may learn..? Nope. There are only two people in my life and they know EVERYTHING already. Do I worry about how others see me? Nope..theirs is nothing more than an opinion according to their beliefs which they re entitled to but it has no reflection or impact on me personally. Oh and if you re confused about new skin..my life suffered major meltdown from which it rebooted and the real hidden me exploded onto the scene "
Thanks Pal! |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"No,as my profile shows Im open with my life and who I am but its possibly because i ve spent decades living in the shadows hiding, which didn t work out at all,that now the happy in my new skin has come about I figure be who I am and I have to say,life is far more straight forward. So the person I am on here is the person I am, full stop. Do I worry about other people using what they may learn..? Nope. There are only two people in my life and they know EVERYTHING already. Do I worry about how others see me? Nope..theirs is nothing more than an opinion according to their beliefs which they re entitled to but it has no reflection or impact on me personally. Oh and if you re confused about new skin..my life suffered major meltdown from which it rebooted and the real hidden me exploded onto the scene "
That sounds a great place to be! My life has had a meltdown too, tho I’d say I’m unwinding and expanding, rather than exploding!! |
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