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"That's a lot of questions OP for far too early in the day. I wouldn't say I try to influence the fora. I don't particularly give it so much thought, I read something I find interesting, I contribute to it for a myriad of reasons. I enjoy learning from others, I love the peculiar insights into another's way of thinking - they are brilliant and ever so exciting. I love a debate, I genuinely do. I have found though that people take it far too personally; almost you can't disagree with someone's post without disliking the poster. I think that's utter tosh. I tend to avoid debates nowadays - I remember being told I was "negative" because I was quite outspoken. So nowadays I'm more likely to avoid particularly... fiery debates because the personalisation of attack is tiresome. People disparagingly speak over each other, patronize without taking the time to consider another's viewpoint and I don't have the headspace or desire to be part of it. Erm how to make it better? I'm not sure. More accepting and welcoming of all, not just those whose face fits? Right now stress levels are higher than normal and I think people use this place to let off steam/escape and if that's what they need to do, fair enough. Maybe more compassion as a general thing." I do miss old Meli sometimes - a different kind of awesome to loved up Meli | |||
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"I’ve been here a while - nowhere near as long as some. Most of the personalities that were here when I found the forum either don’t post anymore or have left the site. Others come in to fill the void and it keeps rolling along. The majority will have no clue who I am now and that’s one of the refreshing things. It never stays still for long. I’ve seen it be incredibly supportive and massively horrible in equal measure. Given how few people on the site use it, it is a melting pot of people and it can always provide a laugh or a gnashing of teeth. I quite like watching it now as it evolves " I get that, it's kinda fun watching ppl treading the path innit | |||
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"That's a lot of questions OP for far too early in the day. I wouldn't say I try to influence the fora. I don't particularly give it so much thought, I read something I find interesting, I contribute to it for a myriad of reasons. I enjoy learning from others, I love the peculiar insights into another's way of thinking - they are brilliant and ever so exciting. I love a debate, I genuinely do. I have found though that people take it far too personally; almost you can't disagree with someone's post without disliking the poster. I think that's utter tosh. I tend to avoid debates nowadays - I remember being told I was "negative" because I was quite outspoken. So nowadays I'm more likely to avoid particularly... fiery debates because the personalisation of attack is tiresome. People disparagingly speak over each other, patronize without taking the time to consider another's viewpoint and I don't have the headspace or desire to be part of it. Erm how to make it better? I'm not sure. More accepting and welcoming of all, not just those whose face fits? Right now stress levels are higher than normal and I think people use this place to let off steam/escape and if that's what they need to do, fair enough. Maybe more compassion as a general thing." I don't think there can ever be enough questions or answers Meli. And I think you always get it right and I'm jealous. I think you should debate more, you're a smart one and ppl could learn an awful lot from you | |||
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"Community ? maybe." Granny you're at the heart of it my lovely | |||
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"I post on any thread that I have a interest in, Most times I just browse through them as every now and then you come across ones that make you think, A lot more interesting and intelligent people then me on here and then there are the ones that make you think how they got to the age they’re with the questions they ask and shite they post " I'm not entirely sure what you're saying tbh, but if I don't die with questions on my mind then I'm not gonna die happy. However smart you are, someone else is always smarter and even the less smart ones can teach you lots . | |||
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"I am a shy person. I sit back and read the threads! " Lololol I noticed, but you should use it how you like | |||
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"Every single person on here will probably give you a slightly different answer . Apart from the actual rules , there are no rules. Most on here are awesome , a few are stupid or trolls . But they usually disappear. Personally I just type my thoughts exactly as i would say them in person , which isnt always wise i know. I'm me , erm... that's about it really " Do you think a lot of ppl aren't themselves here? | |||
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"Not really nowadays, half the folk on here make little digs at me, really got to me the other day. Just kinda do my own thing now. I have my friends, that’s who I care about" And nah I don’t really like debates. Well depends what mood I’m in, and who I’m debating with. Some people just have a ‘I’m right you’re wrong’ mentality. Not fun arguing with them, and I just tend to not engage with them | |||
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"Community ? maybe." | |||
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"Not really nowadays, half the folk on here make little digs at me, really got to me the other day. Just kinda do my own thing now. I have my friends, that’s who I care about" I actually like you and your threads, but I don't think you'd see that. I'd advise you to stay open and some of the positives might stop the "hurt" from hurting..... ....there's always gonna be cunts on here, but there are some nice ones I think we overlook or misread sometimes | |||
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"This is a subject that you like coming back to Me I dip in and and out depending on my mood. I like to debate especially with those who are on the other side of the fence. But I do find it difficult on here as tone isn't always easy to guage on line. It's hard at the moment a lot of people are under stress and I think the forum shows it. How to make it better? Try and see everything in a positive way not assume the worst in people " Always good to look over the fence, and maybe bash it down now and then Do you think this place could be maybe NOT helping some of those struggling atm? | |||
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"Improvements? Fuck knows. None. The improvements I want are for me personally, and wouldn’t affect the site for other people " So what are your personal ones? | |||
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"This is a subject that you like coming back to Me I dip in and and out depending on my mood. I like to debate especially with those who are on the other side of the fence. But I do find it difficult on here as tone isn't always easy to guage on line. It's hard at the moment a lot of people are under stress and I think the forum shows it. How to make it better? Try and see everything in a positive way not assume the worst in people Always good to look over the fence, and maybe bash it down now and then Do you think this place could be maybe NOT helping some of those struggling atm? " It wasn't for me at the beginning of the pandemic and I hid our profile and stopped using the site. For me personally it was far too negative. To answer your question I'm unsure, maybe it's become a place to vent as we are unable to do so outside of the forum at the moment. Think we all need to be a bit more compassionate. | |||
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"Not really nowadays, half the folk on here make little digs at me, really got to me the other day. Just kinda do my own thing now. I have my friends, that’s who I care about" Don't let those get to you..it's just not worth. Don't give them that power over you. I love seeing you do you x | |||
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" Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? I do both, more of the former as I post less than I did but in certain areas I do endeavour to influence thinking. I’ve learned some interesting things that I was unaware of about myself and my forum behaviour over the years including for you OP. Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? I don’t think I can get it right, because there are so many perspectives on what right is, so I do what I feel. Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? I prefer dialogue to debate and attempt to behave accordingly, but I don’t shy away from challenge when I feel strongly about something. I am adaptable, it’s one of my strengths and I’m open to changing my behaviour, my ways of thinking and even some fundamental beliefs if the evidence suggests they are no longer effective or legitimate. Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? More dialogue, less bullying, more self awareness and awareness of each other’s feelings, willingness to understand and tolerance of each other’s perspectives even when we don’t agree, more forgiveness, more gratitude. Great post OP and good questions from my perspective." Thank s buddy I'm always at odds with the bullying) harmony question. I see a few few ppl milking sympathy or even posing with fake experiences or personas for personal gain so unfortunately (and sometimes I hate this about myself ) I can be slow to show any sympathy because I'm not sure if it's genuinely sought or just a fake trying to exploit me and my own situation. Getting better with this though.... | |||
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"That's a lot of questions OP for far too early in the day. I wouldn't say I try to influence the fora. I don't particularly give it so much thought, I read something I find interesting, I contribute to it for a myriad of reasons. I enjoy learning from others, I love the peculiar insights into another's way of thinking - they are brilliant and ever so exciting. I love a debate, I genuinely do. I have found though that people take it far too personally; almost you can't disagree with someone's post without disliking the poster. I think that's utter tosh. I tend to avoid debates nowadays - I remember being told I was "negative" because I was quite outspoken. So nowadays I'm more likely to avoid particularly... fiery debates because the personalisation of attack is tiresome. People disparagingly speak over each other, patronize without taking the time to consider another's viewpoint and I don't have the headspace or desire to be part of it. Erm how to make it better? I'm not sure. More accepting and welcoming of all, not just those whose face fits? Right now stress levels are higher than normal and I think people use this place to let off steam/escape and if that's what they need to do, fair enough. Maybe more compassion as a general thing." Great post Meli | |||
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"This is a subject that you like coming back to Me I dip in and and out depending on my mood. I like to debate especially with those who are on the other side of the fence. But I do find it difficult on here as tone isn't always easy to guage on line. It's hard at the moment a lot of people are under stress and I think the forum shows it. How to make it better? Try and see everything in a positive way not assume the worst in people Always good to look over the fence, and maybe bash it down now and then Do you think this place could be maybe NOT helping some of those struggling atm? It wasn't for me at the beginning of the pandemic and I hid our profile and stopped using the site. For me personally it was far too negative. To answer your question I'm unsure, maybe it's become a place to vent as we are unable to do so outside of the forum at the moment. Think we all need to be a bit more compassionate. " Yeah but taking a shit on other ppl just makes for a big pile of shut, innit | |||
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"Every single person on here will probably give you a slightly different answer . Apart from the actual rules , there are no rules. Most on here are awesome , a few are stupid or trolls . But they usually disappear. Personally I just type my thoughts exactly as i would say them in person , which isnt always wise i know. I'm me , erm... that's about it really " I do like that about you | |||
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"It is what it is and I just enjoy reading and following threads but can’t say I read them all as some hold no interest for me. I post if I have something to add which isn’t often really and yes I feel the community feel is good on most of the forums but alas not so much on the French one. Be lucky and stay frosty out there!!!!!! T" I've never looked on the French one, how us it different? X | |||
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"This is a subject that you like coming back to Me I dip in and and out depending on my mood. I like to debate especially with those who are on the other side of the fence. But I do find it difficult on here as tone isn't always easy to guage on line. It's hard at the moment a lot of people are under stress and I think the forum shows it. How to make it better? Try and see everything in a positive way not assume the worst in people Always good to look over the fence, and maybe bash it down now and then Do you think this place could be maybe NOT helping some of those struggling atm? It wasn't for me at the beginning of the pandemic and I hid our profile and stopped using the site. For me personally it was far too negative. To answer your question I'm unsure, maybe it's become a place to vent as we are unable to do so outside of the forum at the moment. Think we all need to be a bit more compassionate. Yeah but taking a shit on other ppl just makes for a big pile of shut, innit " Talking to a farmer's daughter used to steaming piles of shit | |||
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"I’ve been here a while - nowhere near as long as some. Most of the personalities that were here when I found the forum either don’t post anymore or have left the site. Others come in to fill the void and it keeps rolling along. The majority will have no clue who I am now and that’s one of the refreshing things. It never stays still for long. I’ve seen it be incredibly supportive and massively horrible in equal measure. Given how few people on the site use it, it is a melting pot of people and it can always provide a laugh or a gnashing of teeth. I quite like watching it now as it evolves " I like it when you pop in. I still notice you | |||
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" I guess I do feel like I'm part of a "community". Sure theres times I've had no response to a comment I felt was pertinent, but that's the nature of threads and posting. It's not personal (I think ) I like a good debate, and also to learn others perspectives and there have been times I've felt slightly shot down for sticking to my opinion, but were all work in progress? Improve? That's simply down to individuals posting styles and considerations? The longer you're here the more repetitive it can seem, so unique subjects always pique an interest. Forums are the main reason I stay here for now. " Haha, as I posted this thread and it sank silently for twenty minutes is was asking myself the same question buddy Repetition can be dull at times but then there are always new ppl who haven't seen the subject before and contribute, maybe with new ideas | |||
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"I’ve been here a while - nowhere near as long as some. Most of the personalities that were here when I found the forum either don’t post anymore or have left the site. Others come in to fill the void and it keeps rolling along. The majority will have no clue who I am now and that’s one of the refreshing things. It never stays still for long. I’ve seen it be incredibly supportive and massively horrible in equal measure. Given how few people on the site use it, it is a melting pot of people and it can always provide a laugh or a gnashing of teeth. I quite like watching it now as it evolves I like it when you pop in. I still notice you " Doffs cap Thank you Doc | |||
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"This is a subject that you like coming back to Me I dip in and and out depending on my mood. I like to debate especially with those who are on the other side of the fence. But I do find it difficult on here as tone isn't always easy to guage on line. It's hard at the moment a lot of people are under stress and I think the forum shows it. How to make it better? Try and see everything in a positive way not assume the worst in people Always good to look over the fence, and maybe bash it down now and then Do you think this place could be maybe NOT helping some of those struggling atm? It wasn't for me at the beginning of the pandemic and I hid our profile and stopped using the site. For me personally it was far too negative. To answer your question I'm unsure, maybe it's become a place to vent as we are unable to do so outside of the forum at the moment. Think we all need to be a bit more compassionate. " I concur. | |||
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"I find the forums sometimes are full of arse lickers, bull shiters, homophobs, sanctimonious and judgemental people. But occasionally you get the sane, funny and caring genuine people too. " Isn't that representative of real life? I think maybe internet anonymity can embolden a few..... | |||
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"I was quite happy with the forum before lockdown, we had a nice mix of topics and threads, it didn't lean too much one way or the other, always something to interest people and have a flirt, I hope that does return with the people I know are lurking the forums atm and balance can return and hopefully newbies who have had the courage to start posting stay and keep posting their opinions " Who's your second favourite forumite? | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. We've just come off the naughty step for comments like that, you've done it now " Don’t say that.... I was being super polite | |||
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"Too many questions! Change is easy to accept once you decide you are wrong - don’t be stupidly stubborn or like a piece of long grass in the wind. " An open mind is a powerful and beautiful thing, innit | |||
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"This is a subject that you like coming back to Me I dip in and and out depending on my mood. I like to debate especially with those who are on the other side of the fence. But I do find it difficult on here as tone isn't always easy to guage on line. It's hard at the moment a lot of people are under stress and I think the forum shows it. How to make it better? Try and see everything in a positive way not assume the worst in people Always good to look over the fence, and maybe bash it down now and then Do you think this place could be maybe NOT helping some of those struggling atm? It wasn't for me at the beginning of the pandemic and I hid our profile and stopped using the site. For me personally it was far too negative. To answer your question I'm unsure, maybe it's become a place to vent as we are unable to do so outside of the forum at the moment. Think we all need to be a bit more compassionate. Yeah but taking a shit on other ppl just makes for a big pile of shut, innit Talking to a farmer's daughter used to steaming piles of shit " Is that why we're still friends? | |||
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"I comment in threads that interest me or if I feel I have knowledge or experience in a particular subject I’ll share that on the thread. I find the forums are mainly inclusive to me and always tend to get good responses whenever I ask a question. How would I improve the site, I’d make it compulsory that every man had to have a public close up picture of his arse hole. " | |||
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"This is a subject that you like coming back to Me I dip in and and out depending on my mood. I like to debate especially with those who are on the other side of the fence. But I do find it difficult on here as tone isn't always easy to guage on line. It's hard at the moment a lot of people are under stress and I think the forum shows it. How to make it better? Try and see everything in a positive way not assume the worst in people Always good to look over the fence, and maybe bash it down now and then Do you think this place could be maybe NOT helping some of those struggling atm? It wasn't for me at the beginning of the pandemic and I hid our profile and stopped using the site. For me personally it was far too negative. To answer your question I'm unsure, maybe it's become a place to vent as we are unable to do so outside of the forum at the moment. Think we all need to be a bit more compassionate. Yeah but taking a shit on other ppl just makes for a big pile of shut, innit Talking to a farmer's daughter used to steaming piles of shit Is that why we're still friends? " Yeah cause you're of full of shit innit | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. " Hahaha, I reckon it'd be nice if they had robot mods..... * shuts up myself now * | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. We've just come off the naughty step for comments like that, you've done it now " You've not lived until you've been told off innit... | |||
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"I don’t really have strong views on it. For me it’s just a public forum like any other. I like to contribute on the threads that interest me. I try not to get into ‘debates’ as they tend to lead more into arguments which I don’t like. As an improvement, I’d like the phrase ‘this is what’s wrong with humanity’ to be banned completely. It’s suuuuuuuuuch an overdramatic statement. There’s nothing wrong with humanity, you get good eggs and bad but because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean they’re a bad egg. They might just be a bit scrambled " Can I have some scrambled egg on your toast? | |||
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"I just do what I want . When I want " I like what you do, you should do it more often | |||
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" Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? I do both, more of the former as I post less than I did but in certain areas I do endeavour to influence thinking. I’ve learned some interesting things that I was unaware of about myself and my forum behaviour over the years including for you OP. Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? I don’t think I can get it right, because there are so many perspectives on what right is, so I do what I feel. Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? I prefer dialogue to debate and attempt to behave accordingly, but I don’t shy away from challenge when I feel strongly about something. I am adaptable, it’s one of my strengths and I’m open to changing my behaviour, my ways of thinking and even some fundamental beliefs if the evidence suggests they are no longer effective or legitimate. Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? More dialogue, less bullying, more self awareness and awareness of each other’s feelings, willingness to understand and tolerance of each other’s perspectives even when we don’t agree, more forgiveness, more gratitude. Great post OP and good questions from my perspective. Thank s buddy I'm always at odds with the bullying) harmony question. I see a few few ppl milking sympathy or even posing with fake experiences or personas for personal gain so unfortunately (and sometimes I hate this about myself ) I can be slow to show any sympathy because I'm not sure if it's genuinely sought or just a fake trying to exploit me and my own situation. Getting better with this though...." I’ve seen some subtle changes in you over time. You have grown on me as time has passed. The bullying can be horrible, especially when it can. leave the person sobbing. I’m not even talking about an OP or a poster getting a hard time, although that can be horrible too. I am talking about a more systematic, deliberate approach and it turns my stomach. I’m all for people speaking their truth, but how you say it and what your intention is make such a difference. | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. " I really dislike that there is no form of dialogue when you get a ban. No one's got back to me when I've tried | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x " It's been interesting to visit the forums during lockdown. There are some sensible and constructive contributors on here but, far too often, I've felt like I'm lifting a rock and finding a nest of ants: small thinkers. They pretty much fall into categories: the keyboard warrior who throws out quotes from the Guardian and tries to belittle those who contradict, the bully who can't get his fix at work during furlough so does it online, those who cling on to the Brexit/Remain argument long after it's over and, of course, no forum would be complete without the conspiracy theorists. I'm surprised and disappointed that the moderators allowed an argument today that the NHS App should not be downloaded - that's not supporting the NHS and should have been stopped but I guess that demonstrates that not even the moderators know where to draw the line. So, I use the forums (fora?) for amusement only. Few of the arguments posted - or, rather, those that post them - are worthy of an attempt at constructive debate. | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything." Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster | |||
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"This is a subject that you like coming back to Me I dip in and and out depending on my mood. I like to debate especially with those who are on the other side of the fence. But I do find it difficult on here as tone isn't always easy to guage on line. It's hard at the moment a lot of people are under stress and I think the forum shows it. How to make it better? Try and see everything in a positive way not assume the worst in people Always good to look over the fence, and maybe bash it down now and then Do you think this place could be maybe NOT helping some of those struggling atm? It wasn't for me at the beginning of the pandemic and I hid our profile and stopped using the site. For me personally it was far too negative. To answer your question I'm unsure, maybe it's become a place to vent as we are unable to do so outside of the forum at the moment. Think we all need to be a bit more compassionate. Yeah but taking a shit on other ppl just makes for a big pile of shut, innit Talking to a farmer's daughter used to steaming piles of shit Is that why we're still friends? Yeah cause you're of full of shit innit " You adore me, stop lying to yourself! | |||
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"Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? I’m a watcher. You learn far more about people that way and the forums are too fluid to actually change anything about them, it’s an ever renewing pool of different people, thoughts and opinions. Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? I just say what’s on my mind, though I am a waffler I don’t deliberately seek to antagonise or upset anyone, I’m not here for that. Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? I don’t like heated debates. Heated debates usually resort to pettiness to get a point across. Reasoned debate is far better. I’m not here to influence the world - I’m here to switch off to everyday life and find a sexy man to corrupt. Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Honestly? None. People make the community and you can’t change people unless they are willing to change. I think we have a responsibility to ourselves to step away when something like this place ceases to give us pleasure. Reflect, evaluate and learn. " Great comments, thanks | |||
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"I don’t really have strong views on it. For me it’s just a public forum like any other. I like to contribute on the threads that interest me. I try not to get into ‘debates’ as they tend to lead more into arguments which I don’t like. As an improvement, I’d like the phrase ‘this is what’s wrong with humanity’ to be banned completely. It’s suuuuuuuuuch an overdramatic statement. There’s nothing wrong with humanity, you get good eggs and bad but because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean they’re a bad egg. They might just be a bit scrambled " I like that .....and I don't believe a single human on the planet is "bad", just maybe making mistakes or getting things wrong or not had the benefits of the right opportunities.... | |||
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"Just feels like I'm in a club, I Trully love it, I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but there are so many sweet people on here xxx " Indeed there are | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything." You are noticed more than you think. I for one wish you didn’t feel so excluded. I see you struggling | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. We've just come off the naughty step for comments like that, you've done it now You've not lived until you've been told off innit... " That’s how you know you’ve made it! A week in time out... | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything." Awww that isn't how it is, most people could relate to that on here, you're as valid as the next person | |||
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" Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? I do both, more of the former as I post less than I did but in certain areas I do endeavour to influence thinking. I’ve learned some interesting things that I was unaware of about myself and my forum behaviour over the years including for you OP. Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? I don’t think I can get it right, because there are so many perspectives on what right is, so I do what I feel. Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? I prefer dialogue to debate and attempt to behave accordingly, but I don’t shy away from challenge when I feel strongly about something. I am adaptable, it’s one of my strengths and I’m open to changing my behaviour, my ways of thinking and even some fundamental beliefs if the evidence suggests they are no longer effective or legitimate. Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? More dialogue, less bullying, more self awareness and awareness of each other’s feelings, willingness to understand and tolerance of each other’s perspectives even when we don’t agree, more forgiveness, more gratitude. Great post OP and good questions from my perspective. Thank s buddy I'm always at odds with the bullying) harmony question. I see a few few ppl milking sympathy or even posing with fake experiences or personas for personal gain so unfortunately (and sometimes I hate this about myself ) I can be slow to show any sympathy because I'm not sure if it's genuinely sought or just a fake trying to exploit me and my own situation. Getting better with this though.... I’ve seen some subtle changes in you over time. You have grown on me as time has passed. The bullying can be horrible, especially when it can. leave the person sobbing. I’m not even talking about an OP or a poster getting a hard time, although that can be horrible too. I am talking about a more systematic, deliberate approach and it turns my stomach. I’m all for people speaking their truth, but how you say it and what your intention is make such a difference." Yep, often it's the silence that can be deafening in here.... | |||
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"I don’t really have strong views on it. For me it’s just a public forum like any other. I like to contribute on the threads that interest me. I try not to get into ‘debates’ as they tend to lead more into arguments which I don’t like. As an improvement, I’d like the phrase ‘this is what’s wrong with humanity’ to be banned completely. It’s suuuuuuuuuch an overdramatic statement. There’s nothing wrong with humanity, you get good eggs and bad but because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean they’re a bad egg. They might just be a bit scrambled " I used to hate scrambled eggs but over recent years I’ve grown to love them. | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. I really dislike that there is no form of dialogue when you get a ban. No one's got back to me when I've tried" | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x It's been interesting to visit the forums during lockdown. There are some sensible and constructive contributors on here but, far too often, I've felt like I'm lifting a rock and finding a nest of ants: small thinkers. They pretty much fall into categories: the keyboard warrior who throws out quotes from the Guardian and tries to belittle those who contradict, the bully who can't get his fix at work during furlough so does it online, those who cling on to the Brexit/Remain argument long after it's over and, of course, no forum would be complete without the conspiracy theorists. I'm surprised and disappointed that the moderators allowed an argument today that the NHS App should not be downloaded - that's not supporting the NHS and should have been stopped but I guess that demonstrates that not even the moderators know where to draw the line. So, I use the forums (fora?) for amusement only. Few of the arguments posted - or, rather, those that post them - are worthy of an attempt at constructive debate. " That seems a bit contradictive, but thanks and welcome | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. We've just come off the naughty step for comments like that, you've done it now You've not lived until you've been told off innit... That’s how you know you’ve made it! A week in time out... " Not associating with you bad lads, I've done my time for my crime and I'm now on the straight and narrow P.S you are fucked tho when they find you haha. | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster " New? I've been here over a decade. | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster " He’s been here for years | |||
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"Every single person on here will probably give you a slightly different answer . Apart from the actual rules , there are no rules. Most on here are awesome , a few are stupid or trolls . But they usually disappear. Personally I just type my thoughts exactly as i would say them in person , which isnt always wise i know. I'm me , erm... that's about it really Do you think a lot of ppl aren't themselves here?" I would guess so , but without meeting every single one of them in person , its impossible to tell . I can assure you that I am me on here , and I'm just as much of a random twat in real life | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x " Hi my lovely. I’m on fab very little these days - and on the forums even less - so don’t feel so much a part of it now. That, however, is down to me as I’m rarely on fab and rarely post. I don’t ‘do’ nervous or lack confidence so I’ve never hesitated in posting when I’ve felt the need. However - I know some of my views might be contentious so - unless I’m feeling particularly brave - keep them to myself in the main. Generally speaking- although I like the occasional heated debate (though as I rarely post these days - most of my comments/opinions are overlooked) - I come on the forums for a pleasant break from what is a grim reality (at times) these days. Re improvements - the only thing I’d change is admin’s complete power/autonomy - and that’ll never happen! Hugs to everyone (even admin ) Peachy | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x " Yes, yes, yes, no. Yes, no. A hug emoji. | |||
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"I just flirt with my friends and try to have a laugh. I try to start threads that include everyone but it doesn't always go to plan. Have fun and stay out the drama, there's enough of that in life as it is, this should be fun. " Dittto this for me. | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. I really dislike that there is no form of dialogue when you get a ban. No one's got back to me when I've tried " Come on your not going to get an appeal process , it is what it is, tough, subjective, flawed, unfair but the best option unless you want a site above the radar. We got a ban , it was great we got to speak to the kids for a day and get to know them | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. I really dislike that there is no form of dialogue when you get a ban. No one's got back to me when I've tried Come on your not going to get an appeal process , it is what it is, tough, subjective, flawed, unfair but the best option unless you want a site above the radar. We got a ban , it was great we got to speak to the kids for a day and get to know them" Haha brilliant. | |||
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"just like life you are not going to get along with everybody..... and this place is big enough that you can normally avoid those people.... i am on of those people that have been have been here for so long that i have a low tolerance for "fluff" and "bullshit" so if i see either i am going to call you out on them.... some people just try way too hard to be like by everyone.... want to be everyones friend and believe that it helps their chances.... newsflash.... it doesn't...... if you give people enough rope... they will either happily play skip with it... or end up hanging themselves! just be yourselves... everything will be fine" Absolutely, everything WILL be fine! I think if you try to be best mates with everyone then sooner or later you find you're mates with ppl who hate each other and they WILL without doubt fuck you over, which can be hard online if it gets out of control and the rumours begin.... | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster New? I've been here over a decade." I mean loud/visible/opinionated innit | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster He’s been here for years " I haven't | |||
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"Every single person on here will probably give you a slightly different answer . Apart from the actual rules , there are no rules. Most on here are awesome , a few are stupid or trolls . But they usually disappear. Personally I just type my thoughts exactly as i would say them in person , which isnt always wise i know. I'm me , erm... that's about it really Do you think a lot of ppl aren't themselves here? I would guess so , but without meeting every single one of them in person , its impossible to tell . I can assure you that I am me on here , and I'm just as much of a random twat in real life " Is that your real name? | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x Hi my lovely. I’m on fab very little these days - and on the forums even less - so don’t feel so much a part of it now. That, however, is down to me as I’m rarely on fab and rarely post. I don’t ‘do’ nervous or lack confidence so I’ve never hesitated in posting when I’ve felt the need. However - I know some of my views might be contentious so - unless I’m feeling particularly brave - keep them to myself in the main. Generally speaking- although I like the occasional heated debate (though as I rarely post these days - most of my comments/opinions are overlooked) - I come on the forums for a pleasant break from what is a grim reality (at times) these days. Re improvements - the only thing I’d change is admin’s complete power/autonomy - and that’ll never happen! Hugs to everyone (even admin ) Peachy " You my love should NEVER be overlooked! That's what happens when you go all domesticated and get a four legged friend, no time for shagging....x | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x Yes, yes, yes, no. Yes, no. A hug emoji." Not EVEN a kiss.... | |||
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"I just flirt with my friends and try to have a laugh. I try to start threads that include everyone but it doesn't always go to plan. Have fun and stay out the drama, there's enough of that in life as it is, this should be fun. " First line of my profile innit... | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. I really dislike that there is no form of dialogue when you get a ban. No one's got back to me when I've tried Come on your not going to get an appeal process , it is what it is, tough, subjective, flawed, unfair but the best option unless you want a site above the radar. We got a ban , it was great we got to speak to the kids for a day and get to know them" ....a little bit of wee just escaped.... | |||
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"To a degree I guess, but then again I dont really feel like I belong anywhere." I think you're part of the furniture in here Dr3W. Wouldn't be the same without you. | |||
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"No I don’t always feel part of it but that’s my own doing mostly, I occasionally feel like I’m stood outside with my nose pressed against the window I’m not an influencer or shaper, I do sit back and watch, sometimes I like what I see and sometimes not. Mostly it’s a supportive fun place. I have been through spells of being unsure whether to post, sometimes out of being self doubt but occasionally out of nervousness about being pounced on I don’t think I’m a controversial person so no real worries there. I’m all for healthy debate, great conversations and sharing but the one thing I can’t bear for any reason is bullying or picking on people. It’s not right and shouldn’t happen. I can sniff a bully out at twenty paces but generally they are the ones that can serve it but can’t take it, they also wouldn’t identify as being a bully. But that’s life. To improve things people could be more tolerant of others, have patience and be considerate of other people’s feelings, these things do not make you weak, you need strength to be this way. Mostly, if you’re in a bad mood maybe log off? I like things to be inclusive and friendly, it just makes it a happier, more enjoyable experience all round. I enjoy it here and would leave if I didn’t. The forums provide me with so many giggles and I love it for that and I do tut as well " Awww, I'd like to see you post more Bab's, you can be hilarious and you also have a great heart. Always been one of my favourites from early days right through | |||
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"To a degree I guess, but then again I dont really feel like I belong anywhere. I think you're part of the furniture in here Dr3W. Wouldn't be the same without you. " Yet nobody wants to sit on me | |||
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"To a degree I guess, but then again I dont really feel like I belong anywhere. I think you're part of the furniture in here Dr3W. Wouldn't be the same without you. Yet nobody wants to sit on me " See! You're GOOD! | |||
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"I was quite happy with the forum before lockdown, we had a nice mix of topics and threads, it didn't lean too much one way or the other, always something to interest people and have a flirt, I hope that does return with the people I know are lurking the forums atm and balance can return and hopefully newbies who have had the courage to start posting stay and keep posting their opinions " I agree | |||
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"Every single person on here will probably give you a slightly different answer . Apart from the actual rules , there are no rules. Most on here are awesome , a few are stupid or trolls . But they usually disappear. Personally I just type my thoughts exactly as i would say them in person , which isnt always wise i know. I'm me , erm... that's about it really Do you think a lot of ppl aren't themselves here? I would guess so , but without meeting every single one of them in person , its impossible to tell . I can assure you that I am me on here , and I'm just as much of a random twat in real life Is that your real name? " What Grumpy or Random Twat ?? | |||
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"Every single person on here will probably give you a slightly different answer . Apart from the actual rules , there are no rules. Most on here are awesome , a few are stupid or trolls . But they usually disappear. Personally I just type my thoughts exactly as i would say them in person , which isnt always wise i know. I'm me , erm... that's about it really Do you think a lot of ppl aren't themselves here? I would guess so , but without meeting every single one of them in person , its impossible to tell . I can assure you that I am me on here , and I'm just as much of a random twat in real life Is that your real name? What Grumpy or Random Twat ??" I'm happy to use either... | |||
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"I post what goes through my random head and don't feel part of anything unless you buy me a lychee juice " It's the fucking F.A.B community, it's yours fella! | |||
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"I post what goes through my random head and don't feel part of anything unless you buy me a lychee juice It's the fucking F.A.B community, it's yours fella! " At last someone found out how I have created my username !!! Well play, it took three years | |||
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"I post what goes through my random head and don't feel part of anything unless you buy me a lychee juice It's the fucking F.A.B community, it's yours fella! At last someone found out how I have created my username !!! Well play, it took three years " So it's not to do with watermelons? | |||
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"Every single person on here will probably give you a slightly different answer . Apart from the actual rules , there are no rules. Most on here are awesome , a few are stupid or trolls . But they usually disappear. Personally I just type my thoughts exactly as i would say them in person , which isnt always wise i know. I'm me , erm... that's about it really Do you think a lot of ppl aren't themselves here? I would guess so , but without meeting every single one of them in person , its impossible to tell . I can assure you that I am me on here , and I'm just as much of a random twat in real life Is that your real name? What Grumpy or Random Twat ?? I'm happy to use either... " Either is fine | |||
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"I post what goes through my random head and don't feel part of anything unless you buy me a lychee juice It's the fucking F.A.B community, it's yours fella! At last someone found out how I have created my username !!! Well play, it took three years So it's not to do with watermelons?" Only in your perving mind young OBi1 | |||
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"I post what goes through my random head and don't feel part of anything unless you buy me a lychee juice It's the fucking F.A.B community, it's yours fella! At last someone found out how I have created my username !!! Well play, it took three years So it's not to do with watermelons? Only in your perving mind young OBi1 " | |||
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"I post what goes through my random head and don't feel part of anything unless you buy me a lychee juice It's the fucking F.A.B community, it's yours fella! At last someone found out how I have created my username !!! Well play, it took three years " Tbf it took me a few months to work out that your leaf blower wasn't a guitar..... | |||
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"I was gone for awhile and apprehensive about coming back. I suspect there is some animosity towards me in some quarters. I’ve no interest in being popular, but equally I don’t want any drama. I’ve never meant anyone any harm, and I’d hate to think that my presence here causes any problems to anyone. I have fun with my friends, and engage with the topics that grab my interest. I’m always respectful to others, and balanced in my opinion. Or at least I try to be. I do my best to avoid all the drama and politics that goes on behind the scenes. I have met some truly wonderful people through these forums, and I hope I’ll meet a few more xx" You seem pretty chilled and balanced from what I've seen. When you're bumping forum uglies with other folk then personality and feels are gonna come into it at some point and not everyone is gonna like you all of the time, even in if they once did - but that works in reverse too innit | |||
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"I post what goes through my random head and don't feel part of anything unless you buy me a lychee juice It's the fucking F.A.B community, it's yours fella! At last someone found out how I have created my username !!! Well play, it took three years Tbf it took me a few months to work out that your leaf blower wasn't a guitar..... " | |||
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"I’m still pretty new to the forum and tend to dip in and out of the threads that interest me. Sometimes I post....sometimes I would like to but am hesitant..others I just like to nosey. There are some very strong opinions on some threads which are interesting sans whilst part of me wild live to challenge these, out of pure curiosity and to see forums are maybe not the best place to do that as via messages many things can be lost in translation. We need to take the forum for what they are a place to share ideas, a place to socialise and not take too seriously. If you don’t like something you don’t have to post.. equally if you do post acknowledge that not everyone is going to agree! It can be informative, fun and kills some boring hours.. On a big plus side...I have started talking to people that I probably otherwise would not have come across!! " Meeting new people is the best thing about the forums. All of my best Fab experiences and closest friends have happened because of participating here xx | |||
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"I’m still pretty new to the forum and tend to dip in and out of the threads that interest me. Sometimes I post....sometimes I would like to but am hesitant..others I just like to nosey. There are some very strong opinions on some threads which are interesting sans whilst part of me wild live to challenge these, out of pure curiosity and to see forums are maybe not the best place to do that as via messages many things can be lost in translation. We need to take the forum for what they are a place to share ideas, a place to socialise and not take too seriously. If you don’t like something you don’t have to post.. equally if you do post acknowledge that not everyone is going to agree! It can be informative, fun and kills some boring hours.. On a big plus side...I have started talking to people that I probably otherwise would not have come across!! " It's good isn't it, for talking to folk you'd never otherwise meet and from all over the country/world too! Be brave - some of the opinion you're afraid to challenge might actually benefit from it | |||
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"I’m still pretty new to the forum and tend to dip in and out of the threads that interest me. Sometimes I post....sometimes I would like to but am hesitant..others I just like to nosey. There are some very strong opinions on some threads which are interesting sans whilst part of me wild live to challenge these, out of pure curiosity and to see forums are maybe not the best place to do that as via messages many things can be lost in translation. We need to take the forum for what they are a place to share ideas, a place to socialise and not take too seriously. If you don’t like something you don’t have to post.. equally if you do post acknowledge that not everyone is going to agree! It can be informative, fun and kills some boring hours.. On a big plus side...I have started talking to people that I probably otherwise would not have come across!! Meeting new people is the best thing about the forums. All of my best Fab experiences and closest friends have happened because of participating here xx" Ah thanks mate fwend | |||
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"I am very new to Fab and the forums, in the beginning I found it very hard and felt slightly intimidated by some of the “louder” characters. But I certainly didn’t let that stop me, I’ve just used them as a way to flirt and have fun with like minded people. An opportunity to mingle with people I may not have spoken to previously. I tend to post flirty fun rather than serious but I’m more intelligent than I may appear! Spoken to some amazing people on here and very excited that in the future (hopefully soon) I may get the opportunity to take things further with them. " Thanks . As a newer person, do you think the forum can be addictive? Can you put it down when you need to? | |||
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"I am very new to Fab and the forums, in the beginning I found it very hard and felt slightly intimidated by some of the “louder” characters. But I certainly didn’t let that stop me, I’ve just used them as a way to flirt and have fun with like minded people. An opportunity to mingle with people I may not have spoken to previously. I tend to post flirty fun rather than serious but I’m more intelligent than I may appear! Spoken to some amazing people on here and very excited that in the future (hopefully soon) I may get the opportunity to take things further with them. Thanks . As a newer person, do you think the forum can be addictive? Can you put it down when you need to?" As addictive as other social media, Yes. Can I put it down? Yeah of course, I am normally a very busy person. so before lockdown only popped on late of an evening when chilling. Lately used a lot more to escape from loneliness and have adult conversation and flirt. What about you OP? | |||
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"I’m still pretty new to the forum and tend to dip in and out of the threads that interest me. Sometimes I post....sometimes I would like to but am hesitant..others I just like to nosey. There are some very strong opinions on some threads which are interesting sans whilst part of me wild live to challenge these, out of pure curiosity and to see forums are maybe not the best place to do that as via messages many things can be lost in translation. We need to take the forum for what they are a place to share ideas, a place to socialise and not take too seriously. If you don’t like something you don’t have to post.. equally if you do post acknowledge that not everyone is going to agree! It can be informative, fun and kills some boring hours.. On a big plus side...I have started talking to people that I probably otherwise would not have come across!! Meeting new people is the best thing about the forums. All of my best Fab experiences and closest friends have happened because of participating here xx Ah thanks mate fwend " You know it Bud | |||
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"I used to spend time here but I was an argumentative and unhappy person so I was always getting into scrapes. I'm more at peace now even though I'm going through a lot. I don't post here much as a lot of it is pure fawning. I can't be bothered. Some great people used to hang out though. " Hahaha, the fawning! Hope you get through whatever it is and on to a better place | |||
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"I used to spend time here but I was an argumentative and unhappy person so I was always getting into scrapes. I'm more at peace now even though I'm going through a lot. I don't post here much as a lot of it is pure fawning. I can't be bothered. Some great people used to hang out though. Hahaha, the fawning! Hope you get through whatever it is and on to a better place " Thank you | |||
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"I used to spend time here but I was an argumentative and unhappy person so I was always getting into scrapes. I'm more at peace now even though I'm going through a lot. I don't post here much as a lot of it is pure fawning. I can't be bothered. Some great people used to hang out though. " You? Argumentative? Nooooo | |||
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"I’m still pretty new to the forum and tend to dip in and out of the threads that interest me. Sometimes I post....sometimes I would like to but am hesitant..others I just like to nosey. There are some very strong opinions on some threads which are interesting sans whilst part of me wild live to challenge these, out of pure curiosity and to see forums are maybe not the best place to do that as via messages many things can be lost in translation. We need to take the forum for what they are a place to share ideas, a place to socialise and not take too seriously. If you don’t like something you don’t have to post.. equally if you do post acknowledge that not everyone is going to agree! It can be informative, fun and kills some boring hours.. On a big plus side...I have started talking to people that I probably otherwise would not have come across!! It's good isn't it, for talking to folk you'd never otherwise meet and from all over the country/world too! Be brave - some of the opinion you're afraid to challenge might actually benefit from it " Agreed.....time and place. Having spent a long time upsetting people sometimes I try and tread a little more carefully! I think I’m finally maturing! | |||
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"I’m still pretty new to the forum and tend to dip in and out of the threads that interest me. Sometimes I post....sometimes I would like to but am hesitant..others I just like to nosey. There are some very strong opinions on some threads which are interesting sans whilst part of me wild live to challenge these, out of pure curiosity and to see forums are maybe not the best place to do that as via messages many things can be lost in translation. We need to take the forum for what they are a place to share ideas, a place to socialise and not take too seriously. If you don’t like something you don’t have to post.. equally if you do post acknowledge that not everyone is going to agree! It can be informative, fun and kills some boring hours.. On a big plus side...I have started talking to people that I probably otherwise would not have come across!! It's good isn't it, for talking to folk you'd never otherwise meet and from all over the country/world too! Be brave - some of the opinion you're afraid to challenge might actually benefit from it Agreed.....time and place. Having spent a long time upsetting people sometimes I try and tread a little more carefully! I think I’m finally maturing! " Haha, depends who's upset and why I guess and if it's fair or avoidable . Some situations can be a drain for sure | |||
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"I used to spend time here but I was an argumentative and unhappy person so I was always getting into scrapes. I'm more at peace now even though I'm going through a lot. I don't post here much as a lot of it is pure fawning. I can't be bothered. Some great people used to hang out though. You? Argumentative? Nooooo " Feck off | |||
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"forumites are all so wise how can you not learn " I think you can learn from a wise person and also from an idiot personally.... Anyway, POSITIVITY innit | |||
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"I used to spend time here but I was an argumentative and unhappy person so I was always getting into scrapes. I'm more at peace now even though I'm going through a lot. I don't post here much as a lot of it is pure fawning. I can't be bothered. Some great people used to hang out though. You? Argumentative? Nooooo Feck off " | |||
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"forumites are all so wise how can you not learn I think you can learn from a wise person and also from an idiot personally.... Anyway, POSITIVITY innit " Totally agreed | |||
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"I don’t think it’s a community at all. Just because people interact in the forums regularly doesn’t make them friends. You have to remember it’s not real life and people’s characters online are not the same as in real life. I personally think it’s censored too much too so it can seem a bit too grey rather than colourful. " If it involves a living thing, then it's real life innit? I wouldn't get very far talking to ppl here as if they're not real... Yes it's clear some ppl make shit up but I'll let them do that if it's not hurting anyone and just keep away from them, but even those ppl are real underneath. I definitely have friends here, real ones I've met and who I talk to frequently..... | |||
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"I don’t think it’s a community at all. Just because people interact in the forums regularly doesn’t make them friends. You have to remember it’s not real life and people’s characters online are not the same as in real life. I personally think it’s censored too much too so it can seem a bit too grey rather than colourful. If it involves a living thing, then it's real life innit? I wouldn't get very far talking to ppl here as if they're not real... Yes it's clear some ppl make shit up but I'll let them do that if it's not hurting anyone and just keep away from them, but even those ppl are real underneath. I definitely have friends here, real ones I've met and who I talk to frequently....." I meant people who just interact in the forums but haven’t met in real life. I don’t believe they can be classed as friends, in my opinion. I also believe people have an online persona that will be different to their real life persona. | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x " That's a lot of questions, OP! Do I feel part of it? It varies. I first found the forums a year ago whilst in bed ill and bored out of my mind, and jumped in with both feet - made friends and connections - and spent a lot of time on here chatting, debating, flirting, dicking about. As time has gone on, many of the people I made those first connections with have moved on, and I've spent less time here due to having less time on my hands. Sometimes I come on and don't see anything which interests me - other times there's a lot, but I don't always have the time to contribute! I love a reasoned debate and hearing people's different experiences and perspectives. I do not enjoy confrontation, though, so tend to keep away from more contentious topics. I really dislike when people resort to insults and name-calling - as happened between us a while back - and particularly when individuals are picked on across multiple threads. It's cruel and unnecessary. Do I get it right? I don't think there is a "right". I remember asking for advice on thread etiquette once and being told there are no rules! As long as I'm not being a dick to people, that's right enough for me. Mrs TMN | |||
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"I don’t think it’s a community at all. Just because people interact in the forums regularly doesn’t make them friends. You have to remember it’s not real life and people’s characters online are not the same as in real life. I personally think it’s censored too much too so it can seem a bit too grey rather than colourful. If it involves a living thing, then it's real life innit? I wouldn't get very far talking to ppl here as if they're not real... Yes it's clear some ppl make shit up but I'll let them do that if it's not hurting anyone and just keep away from them, but even those ppl are real underneath. I definitely have friends here, real ones I've met and who I talk to frequently..... I meant people who just interact in the forums but haven’t met in real life. I don’t believe they can be classed as friends, in my opinion. I also believe people have an online persona that will be different to their real life persona. " For sure about the persona of forumites, they're in the most shy awkward geeks when you meet them, but still mostly lovely I have some ppl I've never met and never will who I'd say are friends because they've earned it over a long period and I can see they're trustworthy and decent. I have a great filter for the insincere.... | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x That's a lot of questions, OP! Do I feel part of it? It varies. I first found the forums a year ago whilst in bed ill and bored out of my mind, and jumped in with both feet - made friends and connections - and spent a lot of time on here chatting, debating, flirting, dicking about. As time has gone on, many of the people I made those first connections with have moved on, and I've spent less time here due to having less time on my hands. Sometimes I come on and don't see anything which interests me - other times there's a lot, but I don't always have the time to contribute! I love a reasoned debate and hearing people's different experiences and perspectives. I do not enjoy confrontation, though, so tend to keep away from more contentious topics. I really dislike when people resort to insults and name-calling - as happened between us a while back - and particularly when individuals are picked on across multiple threads. It's cruel and unnecessary. Do I get it right? I don't think there is a "right". I remember asking for advice on thread etiquette once and being told there are no rules! As long as I'm not being a dick to people, that's right enough for me. Mrs TMN " When you do come on and there's nothing interesting, what's your next move? I find I can waste time reading utter shite (well to me it is) some days and it can take me half an hour to realise "log off Steve!" | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x That's a lot of questions, OP! Do I feel part of it? It varies. I first found the forums a year ago whilst in bed ill and bored out of my mind, and jumped in with both feet - made friends and connections - and spent a lot of time on here chatting, debating, flirting, dicking about. As time has gone on, many of the people I made those first connections with have moved on, and I've spent less time here due to having less time on my hands. Sometimes I come on and don't see anything which interests me - other times there's a lot, but I don't always have the time to contribute! I love a reasoned debate and hearing people's different experiences and perspectives. I do not enjoy confrontation, though, so tend to keep away from more contentious topics. I really dislike when people resort to insults and name-calling - as happened between us a while back - and particularly when individuals are picked on across multiple threads. It's cruel and unnecessary. Do I get it right? I don't think there is a "right". I remember asking for advice on thread etiquette once and being told there are no rules! As long as I'm not being a dick to people, that's right enough for me. Mrs TMN When you do come on and there's nothing interesting, what's your next move? I find I can waste time reading utter shite (well to me it is) some days and it can take me half an hour to realise "log off Steve!" " If it's late at night, often mindless scrolling - during the day, I usually just bugger off! | |||
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"I don’t think it’s a community at all. Just because people interact in the forums regularly doesn’t make them friends. You have to remember it’s not real life and people’s characters online are not the same as in real life. I personally think it’s censored too much too so it can seem a bit too grey rather than colourful. If it involves a living thing, then it's real life innit? I wouldn't get very far talking to ppl here as if they're not real... Yes it's clear some ppl make shit up but I'll let them do that if it's not hurting anyone and just keep away from them, but even those ppl are real underneath. I definitely have friends here, real ones I've met and who I talk to frequently..... I meant people who just interact in the forums but haven’t met in real life. I don’t believe they can be classed as friends, in my opinion. I also believe people have an online persona that will be different to their real life persona. For sure about the persona of forumites, they're in the most shy awkward geeks when you meet them, but still mostly lovely I have some ppl I've never met and never will who I'd say are friends because they've earned it over a long period and I can see they're trustworthy and decent. I have a great filter for the insincere.... " Interesting perspective to assume someone met in person is more genuine than someone online. Ultimately we all ore tend to be who we want to be...in person or online..sometimes it’s just easier here doesn’t make someone any less genuine. | |||
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"I mostly just sit back and read I’m very nosy and I like reading other people’s views and also learn new stuff.There are times I feel like jumping in when I can see someone is getting a hard time for having a opinion there are so many judgemental people around.I love a good debate but sometimes on here things get lost in translation and I wouldn’t like to upset someone unintentionally so I mostly just stick to having a good nose ..." Sometimes it's tricky when ppl are arguing and you don't necessarily know the full story, aye. In supporting a victim in an argument you have to be careful not to create another victim too. Usually sense shines through | |||
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"I don’t think it’s a community at all. Just because people interact in the forums regularly doesn’t make them friends. You have to remember it’s not real life and people’s characters online are not the same as in real life. I personally think it’s censored too much too so it can seem a bit too grey rather than colourful. If it involves a living thing, then it's real life innit? I wouldn't get very far talking to ppl here as if they're not real... Yes it's clear some ppl make shit up but I'll let them do that if it's not hurting anyone and just keep away from them, but even those ppl are real underneath. I definitely have friends here, real ones I've met and who I talk to frequently..... I meant people who just interact in the forums but haven’t met in real life. I don’t believe they can be classed as friends, in my opinion. I also believe people have an online persona that will be different to their real life persona. For sure about the persona of forumites, they're in the most shy awkward geeks when you meet them, but still mostly lovely I have some ppl I've never met and never will who I'd say are friends because they've earned it over a long period and I can see they're trustworthy and decent. I have a great filter for the insincere.... Interesting perspective to assume someone met in person is more genuine than someone online. Ultimately we all ore tend to be who we want to be...in person or online..sometimes it’s just easier here doesn’t make someone any less genuine. " Nobody is genuine unless they're genuine Plus you never really know whet goes on outside of your own mind or what another person in truly thinking, that's where trust kicks in... It's a beautiful thing | |||
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"So, I think this thread is exhausted now, however, ONE REALLY IMPORTANT OBSERVATION (in my mind anyway) is that I asked you all a fuck load of questions, both at the start and in replies, and yet you didn't think ask me many, or ask each other any..... ....so in my mind that's how you build community, by giving a shit and asking questions and looking out for ppl rather than just talking about yourself. Someone mentioned dialogue - dialogue is good, or trialogue or multilogue if that's a word.... Not whinging I promise, just the observations of a rambling old fool, so don't stress and enjoy fab your way and make the most of it... Nip x infinity...." That happens more for me with PMs than it does in the forum, but most of that is down to me not being willing to spend a fuck tonne of energy elbowing my way into the centre of things. It's much easier for me to maintain conversations through messages on here or with WhatsApp- the forum for me is more entertainment than community. You seem to have plenty of friends on here OP, do you not feel a part of the community here? | |||
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"So, I think this thread is exhausted now, however, ONE REALLY IMPORTANT OBSERVATION (in my mind anyway) is that I asked you all a fuck load of questions, both at the start and in replies, and yet you didn't think ask me many, or ask each other any..... ....so in my mind that's how you build community, by giving a shit and asking questions and looking out for ppl rather than just talking about yourself. Someone mentioned dialogue - dialogue is good, or trialogue or multilogue if that's a word.... Not whinging I promise, just the observations of a rambling old fool, so don't stress and enjoy fab your way and make the most of it... Nip x infinity.... That happens more for me with PMs than it does in the forum, but most of that is down to me not being willing to spend a fuck tonne of energy elbowing my way into the centre of things. It's much easier for me to maintain conversations through messages on here or with WhatsApp- the forum for me is more entertainment than community. You seem to have plenty of friends on here OP, do you not feel a part of the community here?" Haha, a question! Thanks, yeah I know what you mean about entertainment, but threads with interaction and learning opportunities are so much more enjoyable for me. Don't get me wrong, I do still love a carcrash as much as the next person I sometimes have felt like I'M the entertainment when ppl write threads about me, even the nice one's, or when the gossip starts. But yes I definitely feel part of the community and I interact with some beautiful ppl who I wouldn't want to be without | |||
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"So, I think this thread is exhausted now, however, ONE REALLY IMPORTANT OBSERVATION (in my mind anyway) is that I asked you all a fuck load of questions, both at the start and in replies, and yet you didn't think ask me many, or ask each other any..... ....so in my mind that's how you build community, by giving a shit and asking questions and looking out for ppl rather than just talking about yourself. Someone mentioned dialogue - dialogue is good, or trialogue or multilogue if that's a word.... Not whinging I promise, just the observations of a rambling old fool, so don't stress and enjoy fab your way and make the most of it... Nip x infinity.... That happens more for me with PMs than it does in the forum, but most of that is down to me not being willing to spend a fuck tonne of energy elbowing my way into the centre of things. It's much easier for me to maintain conversations through messages on here or with WhatsApp- the forum for me is more entertainment than community. You seem to have plenty of friends on here OP, do you not feel a part of the community here? Haha, a question! Thanks, yeah I know what you mean about entertainment, but threads with interaction and learning opportunities are so much more enjoyable for me. Don't get me wrong, I do still love a carcrash as much as the next person I sometimes have felt like I'M the entertainment when ppl write threads about me, even the nice one's, or when the gossip starts. But yes I definitely feel part of the community and I interact with some beautiful ppl who I wouldn't want to be without " Happy days then! | |||
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"Nippy what’s your favourite verb?" Grow | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x " No. Not part of the forum community thankfully. My way of thinking is hugely different to the majority of the forum. I tend not to post mostly because nothing interests me these days. It's more interesting when people are less kiss arse and more debating but that isn't how you win friends so the majority falls on the safe side... despite what they protest. I think more should be honest but that won't happen when they're trying to attract others. Despite what they say. | |||
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"Nippy what’s your favourite verb? Grow" Nice | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x No. Not part of the forum community thankfully. My way of thinking is hugely different to the majority of the forum. I tend not to post mostly because nothing interests me these days. It's more interesting when people are less kiss arse and more debating but that isn't how you win friends so the majority falls on the safe side... despite what they protest. I think more should be honest but that won't happen when they're trying to attract others. Despite what they say. " Surely debate can win you friends if you learn something or teach something to others? As a bloke if you look at fab as a competition then you're fucked (or rather not fucked) because the numbers don't work in your favour and there are loads of more gorgeous blokes out there. I appreciate you're not a bloke obv. I think difference and the bravery to be different stands out and attracts in a sea of beauty, for both sexes, no? | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x No. Not part of the forum community thankfully. My way of thinking is hugely different to the majority of the forum. I tend not to post mostly because nothing interests me these days. It's more interesting when people are less kiss arse and more debating but that isn't how you win friends so the majority falls on the safe side... despite what they protest. I think more should be honest but that won't happen when they're trying to attract others. Despite what they say. Surely debate can win you friends if you learn something or teach something to others? As a bloke if you look at fab as a competition then you're fucked (or rather not fucked) because the numbers don't work in your favour and there are loads of more gorgeous blokes out there. I appreciate you're not a bloke obv. I think difference and the bravery to be different stands out and attracts in a sea of beauty, for both sexes, no? " Not in my experience. But I'm not interested in gaining anything from the forum. | |||
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"Nippy what’s your favourite verb? Grow Nice" What's your favourite ever thread from the forum your majesty? Also how should I address you in any future contact? The name throws me and makes me a bit | |||
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"....when you're posting (or just reading) do you a feel part of it? Are you happy to just sit back and watch it evolve and learn from others or do you try to influence and shape it? Do you say too much out of nervousness or to try to inflate your own status, or do you say too little for fear of judgement and ridicule, or do you get it just right? Is right even possible? Do your like a heated debate, or do you prefer harmony and uniformity without challenge or surprises? Is change difficult to accept? Most importantly, what improvements could you suggest for a better community? Keep it positive please and about the subject, no shaming or sniping or bollocks like that. I'm just curious to see how others view the community? Thanks Peace to you all, innit Nip x No. Not part of the forum community thankfully. My way of thinking is hugely different to the majority of the forum. I tend not to post mostly because nothing interests me these days. It's more interesting when people are less kiss arse and more debating but that isn't how you win friends so the majority falls on the safe side... despite what they protest. I think more should be honest but that won't happen when they're trying to attract others. Despite what they say. Surely debate can win you friends if you learn something or teach something to others? As a bloke if you look at fab as a competition then you're fucked (or rather not fucked) because the numbers don't work in your favour and there are loads of more gorgeous blokes out there. I appreciate you're not a bloke obv. I think difference and the bravery to be different stands out and attracts in a sea of beauty, for both sexes, no? Not in my experience. But I'm not interested in gaining anything from the forum. " Not anything at all? Not even giggles, laughter, dialogue, knowledge? What's your motivation in that case? | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster New? I've been here over a decade. I mean loud/visible/opinionated innit " I'm none of those things. I don't even want to be two of them. | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster New? I've been here over a decade. I mean loud/visible/opinionated innit I'm none of those things. I don't even want to be two of them." I remember you now! | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster New? I've been here over a decade. I mean loud/visible/opinionated innit I'm none of those things. I don't even want to be two of them." I wouldn’t want to be any of them. All seems a bit too “Look at me!” All very shallow and superficial. Innit | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster New? I've been here over a decade. I mean loud/visible/opinionated innit I'm none of those things. I don't even want to be two of them. I wouldn’t want to be any of them. All seems a bit too “Look at me!” All very shallow and superficial. Innit " On a thread such as this I don't see any need for eye rolling, dude said he struggled to get involved in real life and here, and I was trying (albeit not very well) to offer some support | |||
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"Good fab community everyone " You're at the heart Yasmeen. Always positive! | |||
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"Good fab community everyone You're at the heart Yasmeen. Always positive! " Xx | |||
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"I don't really feel part of it. It feels a lot like the real world - me struggling to get involved, finally finding an opening to say something and everyone just looks at me for a moment then goes on as if I hadn't said anything. Awww, mate, stick at it and be brave. There's plenty of folk on her who'll support a new poster New? I've been here over a decade. I mean loud/visible/opinionated innit I'm none of those things. I don't even want to be two of them. I wouldn’t want to be any of them. All seems a bit too “Look at me!” All very shallow and superficial. Innit On a thread such as this I don't see any need for eye rolling, dude said he struggled to get involved in real life and here, and I was trying (albeit not very well) to offer some support " | |||
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"Mods that perhaps actually interact and chat about issues rather than just handing out bans like confetti. Just a thought.... I’ll say my goodbye now and wait for the impending message in my inbox. D " To be fair, if they join in people complain that they shouldn't. If they disagree with someone on a topic, then that person who they debated with gets banned 6 weeks later for calling someone a c*** they complain that the mod banned them because they disagreed 6 weeks earlier. Mods can't really win and is probably why mods don't join in too often as it gets tedious Any site issues they normally answer and if they don't the answer will try and find out. | |||
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