FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Really a bit confused
Really a bit confused
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve always been attracted to woman but mainly butch woman from a young age. By that I mean woman who are lesbian and not bi. Yet however every sexual encounter I’ve had with a woman has been with femme woman. I’ve realised that I am actually bi sexual but I have a certain type as such and I am for the first time in my life really confused. I am understanding now and admitting to myself I am attracted to a certain type of woman , which in itself confuses me. I’ve started speaking to a woman who is 100% gay and totally my type and I’m actually loving chatting and look forward to meeting her.
I suppose my question is why am I so confused, I’ve million’s of questions running around in my head, mainly because I’ve only ever had sexual encounters with woman and mainly femme ones with male partners, this is totally alien to me. Is this normal to be scared, I’m questioning everything, even down to the small details like sex, our roles in a relationship, but then think I wouldn’t question that with a man.
Any guidance anyone ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally normal 
It sounds easy, and I know it’s not - but try not worry or question too much. Things will flow naturally. If you have any questions/worries, speak to her about them. She should be able to reassure you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Totally normal
It sounds easy, and I know it’s not - but try not worry or question too much. Things will flow naturally. If you have any questions/worries, speak to her about them. She should be able to reassure you "
Thank you. I’m just a bit confused and scared I guess. As I’m actually taking a step forward to something I’ve always knew if you get me. Confusion is high up there as I don’t understand my own feelings as it’s more than sexual, plus I feel like I don’t want her to think she’s an experiment if you get me. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not particularly guidance, more support. I guess its natural to question and you are exploring. Enjoy where it leads  "
I do overthink things. I’m just more thinking of her and don’t want her to think I’m “using her” as such (if you get me) x |
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"Not particularly guidance, more support. I guess its natural to question and you are exploring. Enjoy where it leads
I do overthink things. I’m just more thinking of her and don’t want her to think I’m “using her” as such (if you get me) x"
I'm sure that's not the case. It sounds like you have got a pretty good bond from what you've said. I think it's positive, the fact you are questioning shows that you care and that's a good place to be. I'm pleased, you deserve that happiness from our conversations x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not particularly guidance, more support. I guess its natural to question and you are exploring. Enjoy where it leads
I do overthink things. I’m just more thinking of her and don’t want her to think I’m “using her” as such (if you get me) x
I'm sure that's not the case. It sounds like you have got a pretty good bond from what you've said. I think it's positive, the fact you are questioning shows that you care and that's a good place to be. I'm pleased, you deserve that happiness from our conversations x "
I’m for the first time in my life realising that I am bisexual but only with non femme woman , femme woman do nothing for me but they are the only type of woman I’ve had sex with ( confusing much)
It’s brought up so much emotions and questions in my own mind. I don’t understand how someone could understand me, if you get me. I’m a femme woman who’s predominantly been with men all my life and repressed these feelings. But now I want to understand and explore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve always been attracted to woman but mainly butch woman from a young age. By that I mean woman who are lesbian and not bi. Yet however every sexual encounter I’ve had with a woman has been with femme woman. I’ve realised that I am actually bi sexual but I have a certain type as such and I am for the first time in my life really confused. I am understanding now and admitting to myself I am attracted to a certain type of woman , which in itself confuses me. I’ve started speaking to a woman who is 100% gay and totally my type and I’m actually loving chatting and look forward to meeting her.
I suppose my question is why am I so confused, I’ve million’s of questions running around in my head, mainly because I’ve only ever had sexual encounters with woman and mainly femme ones with male partners, this is totally alien to me. Is this normal to be scared, I’m questioning everything, even down to the small details like sex, our roles in a relationship, but then think I wouldn’t question that with a man.
Any guidance anyone ? "
Hey, not sure if this helps but I’m a 46 yo guy and have been through the same recently / now. Felt different at 15 but stuck to straight. Came out as gay at 35, but have decided over the last 2 or 3 years that I’m pan or bi at least when it comes to sex. I think all you can do is follow your gut. None of us can control who we fall for. In my case I can’t control if they’ll be male or female or any other gender. But I trust my instinct. If it feels right, then half the fun is learning along the way. If I can promise one thing, it’s that you need to be happy and whatever that entails is right. It may not be right for others, but that’s a them problem, not a you problem. Probably not helped, but I wish you well x |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve always been attracted to woman but mainly butch woman from a young age. By that I mean woman who are lesbian and not bi. Yet however every sexual encounter I’ve had with a woman has been with femme woman. I’ve realised that I am actually bi sexual but I have a certain type as such and I am for the first time in my life really confused. I am understanding now and admitting to myself I am attracted to a certain type of woman , which in itself confuses me. I’ve started speaking to a woman who is 100% gay and totally my type and I’m actually loving chatting and look forward to meeting her.
I suppose my question is why am I so confused, I’ve million’s of questions running around in my head, mainly because I’ve only ever had sexual encounters with woman and mainly femme ones with male partners, this is totally alien to me. Is this normal to be scared, I’m questioning everything, even down to the small details like sex, our roles in a relationship, but then think I wouldn’t question that with a man.
Any guidance anyone ?
Hey, not sure if this helps but I’m a 46 yo guy and have been through the same recently / now. Felt different at 15 but stuck to straight. Came out as gay at 35, but have decided over the last 2 or 3 years that I’m pan or bi at least when it comes to sex. I think all you can do is follow your gut. None of us can control who we fall for. In my case I can’t control if they’ll be male or female or any other gender. But I trust my instinct. If it feels right, then half the fun is learning along the way. If I can promise one thing, it’s that you need to be happy and whatever that entails is right. It may not be right for others, but that’s a them problem, not a you problem. Probably not helped, but I wish you well x"
That’s a lovely message thank you. I am exactly the same I’ve since the age of 10 been aware of my attraction to woman but they’ve always been butch woman (as such if you get me) and it’s been pushed. I’ve gone through life with men predominantly and the woman I’ve had sex with have been very femme. I’m now 41 and suddenly coming to terms with my attraction to woman not just sexual but emotionally also and I am confused but not. I feel like a light bulb has gone off in my head and I’m now admitting it to myself and allowing these feelings to come through.
I’m very confused |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her. "
I’ve always been confused over bisexuality, even though I’ve known I am myself to an extent. So I’m now thinking “ why would a gay woman want to be with a bisexual woman , who’s a tad confused. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her.
I’ve always been confused over bisexuality, even though I’ve known I am myself to an extent. So I’m now thinking “ why would a gay woman want to be with a bisexual woman , who’s a tad confused. "
When I say to an “extent “ I mean I am bisexual but I am only really attracted to butch woman , so am I only attracted to lesbians ,? But how can that be if I’m not ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s a lovely message thank you. I am exactly the same I’ve since the age of 10 been aware of my attraction to woman but they’ve always been butch woman (as such if you get me) and it’s been pushed. I’ve gone through life with men predominantly and the woman I’ve had sex with have been very femme. I’m now 41 and suddenly coming to terms with my attraction to woman not just sexual but emotionally also and I am confused but not. I feel like a light bulb has gone off in my head and I’m now admitting it to myself and allowing these feelings to come through.
I’m very confused "
I totally get that confusion. One thing I’d say is that questioning your role with a woman must be common. Speaking from a gay man POV then we can discuss whether we are top or bottom or vers, though there’s no rule as to who takes what role. I am just a guy and I’m bottom but there’s plenty of fem guys that top or butch guys that bottom, so as far as that’s concerned then I’d say it’s about communication. Someone else said to be open, to discuss things and I’d say absolutely. You want to know her thoughts and feelings and expectations and to share yours. I feel like that’s a very common thing to do in a same sex relationship. In fact, so much easier than in a opp sex one. Be honest about your needs, hopes and fears, and be inquisitive about hers. Tell her what confuses you about this. As for whether she’s butch or femme, I’d say you’re attracted to who she is not how she is. There’s no rules for that, so go with it if it feels comfortable. Humans are their own worst enemies. We spend so much time making sure things are right that we forget to enjoy them. Enjoy yourself. If she makes you smile, then that’s the first hurdle done. If she turns you on, then who cares if she is butch or femme? Don’t live your life to live up to other people’s expectations. Sorry I’m going on. Just enjoy the ride for you and her, nobody else xx |
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"Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her.
I’ve always been confused over bisexuality, even though I’ve known I am myself to an extent. So I’m now thinking “ why would a gay woman want to be with a bisexual woman , who’s a tad confused.
When I say to an “extent “ I mean I am bisexual but I am only really attracted to butch woman , so am I only attracted to lesbians ,? But how can that be if I’m not ?"
There are no rights n wrongs to attraction and it goes beyond labels of straight, bi, gay. Butch or fem. As for a gay woman wanting a bi women if she’s attracted to you then that’s all that matters. I use labels like everyone else to try and explain who I am but beyond the label it’s actually far more complex that fitting in to one box. And it can alter dependant on who it is I’m attracted to at times. There used to be a lot of gay guys not interested in bi guys but I think times might be changing. I can’t speak for females who are gay and bi females. I question things all the times and can confuse my mind over it. Rather than remembering my opening line here. There are no rights n wrongs in attraction. We just need to learn acceptance of ourselves x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her.
I’ve always been confused over bisexuality, even though I’ve known I am myself to an extent. So I’m now thinking “ why would a gay woman want to be with a bisexual woman , who’s a tad confused.
When I say to an “extent “ I mean I am bisexual but I am only really attracted to butch woman , so am I only attracted to lesbians ,? But how can that be if I’m not ?
There are no rights n wrongs to attraction and it goes beyond labels of straight, bi, gay. Butch or fem. As for a gay woman wanting a bi women if she’s attracted to you then that’s all that matters. I use labels like everyone else to try and explain who I am but beyond the label it’s actually far more complex that fitting in to one box. And it can alter dependant on who it is I’m attracted to at times. There used to be a lot of gay guys not interested in bi guys but I think times might be changing. I can’t speak for females who are gay and bi females. I question things all the times and can confuse my mind over it. Rather than remembering my opening line here. There are no rights n wrongs in attraction. We just need to learn acceptance of ourselves x "
Thank you. I just feel like I’m understanding myself, where as the woman I’m talking to is 100% sure about herself if you get me. She might go “ whooo I’m not getting involved with a bisexual confused woman. “ x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"That’s a lovely message thank you. I am exactly the same I’ve since the age of 10 been aware of my attraction to woman but they’ve always been butch woman (as such if you get me) and it’s been pushed. I’ve gone through life with men predominantly and the woman I’ve had sex with have been very femme. I’m now 41 and suddenly coming to terms with my attraction to woman not just sexual but emotionally also and I am confused but not. I feel like a light bulb has gone off in my head and I’m now admitting it to myself and allowing these feelings to come through.
I’m very confused
I totally get that confusion. One thing I’d say is that questioning your role with a woman must be common. Speaking from a gay man POV then we can discuss whether we are top or bottom or vers, though there’s no rule as to who takes what role. I am just a guy and I’m bottom but there’s plenty of fem guys that top or butch guys that bottom, so as far as that’s concerned then I’d say it’s about communication. Someone else said to be open, to discuss things and I’d say absolutely. You want to know her thoughts and feelings and expectations and to share yours. I feel like that’s a very common thing to do in a same sex relationship. In fact, so much easier than in a opp sex one. Be honest about your needs, hopes and fears, and be inquisitive about hers. Tell her what confuses you about this. As for whether she’s butch or femme, I’d say you’re attracted to who she is not how she is. There’s no rules for that, so go with it if it feels comfortable. Humans are their own worst enemies. We spend so much time making sure things are right that we forget to enjoy them. Enjoy yourself. If she makes you smile, then that’s the first hurdle done. If she turns you on, then who cares if she is butch or femme? Don’t live your life to live up to other people’s expectations. Sorry I’m going on. Just enjoy the ride for you and her, nobody else xx"
Very very lovely and true words. X |
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"Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her.
I’ve always been confused over bisexuality, even though I’ve known I am myself to an extent. So I’m now thinking “ why would a gay woman want to be with a bisexual woman , who’s a tad confused.
When I say to an “extent “ I mean I am bisexual but I am only really attracted to butch woman , so am I only attracted to lesbians ,? But how can that be if I’m not ?
There are no rights n wrongs to attraction and it goes beyond labels of straight, bi, gay. Butch or fem. As for a gay woman wanting a bi women if she’s attracted to you then that’s all that matters. I use labels like everyone else to try and explain who I am but beyond the label it’s actually far more complex that fitting in to one box. And it can alter dependant on who it is I’m attracted to at times. There used to be a lot of gay guys not interested in bi guys but I think times might be changing. I can’t speak for females who are gay and bi females. I question things all the times and can confuse my mind over it. Rather than remembering my opening line here. There are no rights n wrongs in attraction. We just need to learn acceptance of ourselves x
Thank you. I just feel like I’m understanding myself, where as the woman I’m talking to is 100% sure about herself if you get me. She might go “ whooo I’m not getting involved with a bisexual confused woman. “ x"
Playing devil’s advocate a little. If she did is she the right person for you? Whereas if she accepts you for you now and goes on that journey with you and supports you through it surely that’s the best person for you now? Sorry if that’s come across challenging but it’s what I’d be thinking if I was. But that’s not going to alter how you’re attracted to her. But it might alter your thoughts on how you move forward |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her.
I’ve always been confused over bisexuality, even though I’ve known I am myself to an extent. So I’m now thinking “ why would a gay woman want to be with a bisexual woman , who’s a tad confused.
When I say to an “extent “ I mean I am bisexual but I am only really attracted to butch woman , so am I only attracted to lesbians ,? But how can that be if I’m not ?
There are no rights n wrongs to attraction and it goes beyond labels of straight, bi, gay. Butch or fem. As for a gay woman wanting a bi women if she’s attracted to you then that’s all that matters. I use labels like everyone else to try and explain who I am but beyond the label it’s actually far more complex that fitting in to one box. And it can alter dependant on who it is I’m attracted to at times. There used to be a lot of gay guys not interested in bi guys but I think times might be changing. I can’t speak for females who are gay and bi females. I question things all the times and can confuse my mind over it. Rather than remembering my opening line here. There are no rights n wrongs in attraction. We just need to learn acceptance of ourselves x
Thank you. I just feel like I’m understanding myself, where as the woman I’m talking to is 100% sure about herself if you get me. She might go “ whooo I’m not getting involved with a bisexual confused woman. “ x
Playing devil’s advocate a little. If she did is she the right person for you? Whereas if she accepts you for you now and goes on that journey with you and supports you through it surely that’s the best person for you now? Sorry if that’s come across challenging but it’s what I’d be thinking if I was. But that’s not going to alter how you’re attracted to her. But it might alter your thoughts on how you move forward "
True , I understand what your saying but it’s a big ask of someone to help you understand your sexuality (if that’s even what I’m doing) she has to risk herself being hurt. X |
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"Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her.
I’ve always been confused over bisexuality, even though I’ve known I am myself to an extent. So I’m now thinking “ why would a gay woman want to be with a bisexual woman , who’s a tad confused.
When I say to an “extent “ I mean I am bisexual but I am only really attracted to butch woman , so am I only attracted to lesbians ,? But how can that be if I’m not ?
There are no rights n wrongs to attraction and it goes beyond labels of straight, bi, gay. Butch or fem. As for a gay woman wanting a bi women if she’s attracted to you then that’s all that matters. I use labels like everyone else to try and explain who I am but beyond the label it’s actually far more complex that fitting in to one box. And it can alter dependant on who it is I’m attracted to at times. There used to be a lot of gay guys not interested in bi guys but I think times might be changing. I can’t speak for females who are gay and bi females. I question things all the times and can confuse my mind over it. Rather than remembering my opening line here. There are no rights n wrongs in attraction. We just need to learn acceptance of ourselves x
Thank you. I just feel like I’m understanding myself, where as the woman I’m talking to is 100% sure about herself if you get me. She might go “ whooo I’m not getting involved with a bisexual confused woman. “ x
Playing devil’s advocate a little. If she did is she the right person for you? Whereas if she accepts you for you now and goes on that journey with you and supports you through it surely that’s the best person for you now? Sorry if that’s come across challenging but it’s what I’d be thinking if I was. But that’s not going to alter how you’re attracted to her. But it might alter your thoughts on how you move forward
True , I understand what your saying but it’s a big ask of someone to help you understand your sexuality (if that’s even what I’m doing) she has to risk herself being hurt. X"
We all risk ourselves every time we enter in to a new relationship. There’s always the fear of getting hurt. But we bite that bullet if the attraction is strong enough x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a minor question OP, if you feel this way, then why do you describe yourself as straight on your profile? "
Because I always have seen myself as straight. As I said I’m a bit confused. |
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If you've no intention of and do not use her, then you can relax about that and remain open and honest with her.
It's natural for us to be dumbstruck somewhat when the basis for our foundations that we've held about ourselves are unravelled. We try to sustain some constancy in life, even if it's just of ourselves. It's monumentally huge when this collapses, even if some of it was a fabricated facade, covering what ee used to be less open or ready for.
Take your time as losing one aspect of stability can leave a void that we can get very eager to full. |
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"If you've no intention of and do not use her, then you can relax about that and remain open and honest with her.
It's natural for us to be dumbstruck somewhat when the basis for our foundations that we've held about ourselves are unravelled. We try to sustain some constancy in life, even if it's just of ourselves. It's monumentally huge when this collapses, even if some of it was a fabricated facade, covering what ee used to be less open or ready for.
Take your time as losing one aspect of stability can leave a void that we can get very eager to full. "
... to fill. |
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"Just a minor question OP, if you feel this way, then why do you describe yourself as straight on your profile?
Because I always have seen myself as straight. As I said I’m a bit confused. "
But you say at the top of your opening post that you've always been attracted to women, so why not at least put bi curious on your profile? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a minor question OP, if you feel this way, then why do you describe yourself as straight on your profile?
Because I always have seen myself as straight. As I said I’m a bit confused.
But you say at the top of your opening post that you've always been attracted to women, so why not at least put bi curious on your profile? "
Oh ok, I’ll change it jeeez. What’s the issue. You choose to point that out. Do you have any helpful advice,? Anything aside from your snide pointer about my “ status” |
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"Just a minor question OP, if you feel this way, then why do you describe yourself as straight on your profile?
Because I always have seen myself as straight. As I said I’m a bit confused.
But you say at the top of your opening post that you've always been attracted to women, so why not at least put bi curious on your profile?
Oh ok, I’ll change it jeeez. What’s the issue. You choose to point that out. Do you have any helpful advice,? Anything aside from your snide pointer about my “ status”"
I'm sorry to have no useful advice, but if this was a guy posting something similar he'd get ripped to shreds  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a minor question OP, if you feel this way, then why do you describe yourself as straight on your profile?
Because I always have seen myself as straight. As I said I’m a bit confused.
But you say at the top of your opening post that you've always been attracted to women, so why not at least put bi curious on your profile?
Oh ok, I’ll change it jeeez. What’s the issue. You choose to point that out. Do you have any helpful advice,? Anything aside from your snide pointer about my “ status”
I'm sorry to have no useful advice, but if this was a guy posting something similar he'd get ripped to shreds "
Oh god seriously ace!! Your looking for issues. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a minor question OP, if you feel this way, then why do you describe yourself as straight on your profile?
Because I always have seen myself as straight. As I said I’m a bit confused.
But you say at the top of your opening post that you've always been attracted to women, so why not at least put bi curious on your profile?
Oh ok, I’ll change it jeeez. What’s the issue. You choose to point that out. Do you have any helpful advice,? Anything aside from your snide pointer about my “ status”
I'm sorry to have no useful advice, but if this was a guy posting something similar he'd get ripped to shreds "
Why because I’m confused and class myself as predominantly straight. ? I’ve changed it now so that’s ok.
Ace don’t try to cause drama. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a minor question OP, if you feel this way, then why do you describe yourself as straight on your profile?
Because I always have seen myself as straight. As I said I’m a bit confused.
But you say at the top of your opening post that you've always been attracted to women, so why not at least put bi curious on your profile?
Oh ok, I’ll change it jeeez. What’s the issue. You choose to point that out. Do you have any helpful advice,? Anything aside from your snide pointer about my “ status”
I'm sorry to have no useful advice, but if this was a guy posting something similar he'd get ripped to shreds "
Can I ask why hed be ripped to shreds ? I’ve changed my status. But aside from that I’m very open on my sexuality, so why would a man explaining my situation be ripped? I don’t believe he would be. I think you have a bit of an issue which is your problem. Not mine |
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"I'm sorry to have no useful advice, but if this was a guy posting something similar he'd get ripped to shreds
Why because I’m confused and class myself as predominantly straight. ? I’ve changed it now so that’s ok.
Ace don’t try to cause drama. "
I'm not looking to cause any drama, I understand that you maybe a little confused, and you've been strong enough to speak about it on an open forum. Just be true to yourself and everyone that you meet. I wish you all the best in the future x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry to have no useful advice, but if this was a guy posting something similar he'd get ripped to shreds
Why because I’m confused and class myself as predominantly straight. ? I’ve changed it now so that’s ok.
Ace don’t try to cause drama.
I'm not looking to cause any drama, I understand that you maybe a little confused, and you've been strong enough to speak about it on an open forum. Just be true to yourself and everyone that you meet. I wish you all the best in the future x "
Why didn’t you say that initially? But thank you |
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"I'm sorry to have no useful advice, but if this was a guy posting something similar he'd get ripped to shreds
Can I ask why hed be ripped to shreds ? I’ve changed my status. But aside from that I’m very open on my sexuality, so why would a man explaining my situation be ripped? I don’t believe he would be. I think you have a bit of an issue which is your problem. Not mine "
Ok, well I've been on here for over 14 years and have seen all this kind of stuff more times than I care to mention.
I genuinely don't have any issues or problems, but thanks for your concern anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm sorry to have no useful advice, but if this was a guy posting something similar he'd get ripped to shreds
Can I ask why hed be ripped to shreds ? I’ve changed my status. But aside from that I’m very open on my sexuality, so why would a man explaining my situation be ripped? I don’t believe he would be. I think you have a bit of an issue which is your problem. Not mine
Ok, well I've been on here for over 14 years and have seen all this kind of stuff more times than I care to mention.
I genuinely don't have any issues or problems, but thanks for your concern anyway "
No problem. I wish you well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im the same as you lovely when it comes to fancying women, I started fancying butch women in my army days. Ive never been attracted to a femmine lady. I like butch manly women. Im down as Bi as ive played with women but there has to be men playing too. I cant play with women on my own but could with a butch lady im certain. Ive been confused for years because of my attraction to butch women.
Trust what you feel and try not to think about the whys and titles. Have fun lovely xx |
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"Just keep communicating with her but be honest about how you are feeling. She will probably totally understand.
I have a friend who is bi who has had successful long term relationships with both men & women in the 20 years that I've known her.
I’ve always been confused over bisexuality, even though I’ve known I am myself to an extent. So I’m now thinking “ why would a gay woman want to be with a bisexual woman , who’s a tad confused.
When I say to an “extent “ I mean I am bisexual but I am only really attracted to butch woman , so am I only attracted to lesbians ,? But how can that be if I’m not ?
There are no rights n wrongs to attraction and it goes beyond labels of straight, bi, gay. Butch or fem. As for a gay woman wanting a bi women if she’s attracted to you then that’s all that matters. I use labels like everyone else to try and explain who I am but beyond the label it’s actually far more complex that fitting in to one box. And it can alter dependant on who it is I’m attracted to at times. There used to be a lot of gay guys not interested in bi guys but I think times might be changing. I can’t speak for females who are gay and bi females. I question things all the times and can confuse my mind over it. Rather than remembering my opening line here. There are no rights n wrongs in attraction. We just need to learn acceptance of ourselves x
Thank you. I just feel like I’m understanding myself, where as the woman I’m talking to is 100% sure about herself if you get me. She might go “ whooo I’m not getting involved with a bisexual confused woman. “ x
Playing devil’s advocate a little. If she did is she the right person for you? Whereas if she accepts you for you now and goes on that journey with you and supports you through it surely that’s the best person for you now? Sorry if that’s come across challenging but it’s what I’d be thinking if I was. But that’s not going to alter how you’re attracted to her. But it might alter your thoughts on how you move forward
True , I understand what your saying but it’s a big ask of someone to help you understand your sexuality (if that’s even what I’m doing) she has to risk herself being hurt. X"
It's just a sexual journey of discovery that she may choose to join you on, you are not using her as it sounds like you like her an awful lot. Have fun together and let it develop naturally, over thinking is your worst enemy and I know it's hard to not do it but try and something beautiful may just emerge for you both |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Im the same as you lovely when it comes to fancying women, I started fancying butch women in my army days. Ive never been attracted to a femmine lady. I like butch manly women. Im down as Bi as ive played with women but there has to be men playing too. I cant play with women on my own but could with a butch lady im certain. Ive been confused for years because of my attraction to butch women.
Trust what you feel and try not to think about the whys and titles. Have fun lovely xx"
Glad you understand what I mean. So confusing for me as I’ve never really sat properly and admitted it to myself let alone acted upon it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm confused why you would have done sexual things with other 'femme ' women that you weren't attracted to "
It’s not that I’m not attracted to them it’s always been more a sexual bi encounter always involving men which has always turned me on. It’s hard for me to explain what I mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm confused why you would have done sexual things with other 'femme ' women that you weren't attracted to
It’s not that I’m not attracted to them it’s always been more a sexual bi encounter always involving men which has always turned me on. It’s hard for me to explain what I mean. "
You said you weren't that attracted to them |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
I think your over thinking things your attracted to whoever's your attracted to its the person not the gender my daughter who now 27 is bi she knew from a early age she told me at 15 she now living with a woman and planning on getting married as long as your happy just go with the flo and dont over think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always been attracted to woman but mainly butch woman from a young age. By that I mean woman who are lesbian and not bi. Yet however every sexual encounter I’ve had with a woman has been with femme woman. I’ve realised that I am actually bi sexual but I have a certain type as such and I am for the first time in my life really confused. I am understanding now and admitting to myself I am attracted to a certain type of woman , which in itself confuses me. I’ve started speaking to a woman who is 100% gay and totally my type and I’m actually loving chatting and look forward to meeting her.
I suppose my question is why am I so confused, I’ve million’s of questions running around in my head, mainly because I’ve only ever had sexual encounters with woman and mainly femme ones with male partners, this is totally alien to me. Is this normal to be scared, I’m questioning everything, even down to the small details like sex, our roles in a relationship, but then think I wouldn’t question that with a man.
Any guidance anyone ? "
That actually sounds really exciting.
I think it is good to be taken away from your comfort zone, sometimes it's good to push yourself and try something new
Sounds like you like her, why not explore it. Afterall what have you got to lose
Aw good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always been attracted to woman but mainly butch woman from a young age. By that I mean woman who are lesbian and not bi. Yet however every sexual encounter I’ve had with a woman has been with femme woman. I’ve realised that I am actually bi sexual but I have a certain type as such and I am for the first time in my life really confused. I am understanding now and admitting to myself I am attracted to a certain type of woman , which in itself confuses me. I’ve started speaking to a woman who is 100% gay and totally my type and I’m actually loving chatting and look forward to meeting her.
I suppose my question is why am I so confused, I’ve million’s of questions running around in my head, mainly because I’ve only ever had sexual encounters with woman and mainly femme ones with male partners, this is totally alien to me. Is this normal to be scared, I’m questioning everything, even down to the small details like sex, our roles in a relationship, but then think I wouldn’t question that with a man.
Any guidance anyone ?
That actually sounds really exciting.
I think it is good to be taken away from your comfort zone, sometimes it's good to push yourself and try something new
Sounds like you like her, why not explore it. Afterall what have you got to lose
Aw good luck!"
I’m actually a bit smitten |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always been attracted to woman but mainly butch woman from a young age. By that I mean woman who are lesbian and not bi. Yet however every sexual encounter I’ve had with a woman has been with femme woman. I’ve realised that I am actually bi sexual but I have a certain type as such and I am for the first time in my life really confused. I am understanding now and admitting to myself I am attracted to a certain type of woman , which in itself confuses me. I’ve started speaking to a woman who is 100% gay and totally my type and I’m actually loving chatting and look forward to meeting her.
I suppose my question is why am I so confused, I’ve million’s of questions running around in my head, mainly because I’ve only ever had sexual encounters with woman and mainly femme ones with male partners, this is totally alien to me. Is this normal to be scared, I’m questioning everything, even down to the small details like sex, our roles in a relationship, but then think I wouldn’t question that with a man.
Any guidance anyone ?
That actually sounds really exciting.
I think it is good to be taken away from your comfort zone, sometimes it's good to push yourself and try something new
Sounds like you like her, why not explore it. Afterall what have you got to lose
Aw good luck!"
I’m absolutely blown away. She’s just amazing, I’m completely smitten. |
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"Is it going well?
Omg. Yes. I’m a big smitten kitten. She absolutely blows my world. I’m totally not myself,, it’s so weird. "
Enjoy the journey, you can get to the destination by many routes, but you will know where you at when you get there. Just focus on enjoying the experience along the way ... good luck OP! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it going well?
Omg. Yes. I’m a big smitten kitten. She absolutely blows my world. I’m totally not myself,, it’s so weird.
Enjoy the journey, you can get to the destination by many routes, but you will know where you at when you get there. Just focus on enjoying the experience along the way ... good luck OP!"
I feel like a teenager. It’s so nice , not felt like this in a long time. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it going well?
Omg. Yes. I’m a big smitten kitten. She absolutely blows my world. I’m totally not myself,, it’s so weird.
Hoe great is this x"
I know Im in total lust, wake up thinking about her and go asleep with her on my mind, totally crazy. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it going well?
Omg. Yes. I’m a big smitten kitten. She absolutely blows my world. I’m totally not myself,, it’s so weird.
Aww! 
I so get your OP. I really do x"
Thank you, I’m not the best at explaining my feelings xx |
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"Is it going well?
Omg. Yes. I’m a big smitten kitten. She absolutely blows my world. I’m totally not myself,, it’s so weird.
Aww!
I so get your OP. I really do x
Thank you, I’m not the best at explaining my feelings xx"
I think it's one of those things we don't talk about that much. Attraction, gender, gender expression. It has more of an impact on us than we think. And I sometimes feel like a bit of an imposter as a femme bi woman even talking about it. My passing privilege is huge. So I want to leave it to others, maybe it's not my place? And then I get... confused. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Is it going well?
Omg. Yes. I’m a big smitten kitten. She absolutely blows my world. I’m totally not myself,, it’s so weird. "
Aww what a lovely update to read! Enjoy it OP, those feelings for another are truly beautiful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it going well?
Omg. Yes. I’m a big smitten kitten. She absolutely blows my world. I’m totally not myself,, it’s so weird.
Aww what a lovely update to read! Enjoy it OP, those feelings for another are truly beautiful. "
Thanks _eli |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try not to overthink or over-question yourself. Just go with the flow and enjoy it. "
That’s exactly what I’m doing, thank you, I feel for once in my life at peace with myself, hard to explain but I’m very happy emotionally x |
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"Try not to overthink or over-question yourself. Just go with the flow and enjoy it.
That’s exactly what I’m doing, thank you, I feel for once in my life at peace with myself, hard to explain but I’m very happy emotionally x"
Awwww love this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try not to overthink or over-question yourself. Just go with the flow and enjoy it.
That’s exactly what I’m doing, thank you, I feel for once in my life at peace with myself, hard to explain but I’m very happy emotionally x
Awwww love this. "
Exciting isn’t it, we’ve spoke all day on face time the past few days. I’ve actually got a few things and put them in a bag with some beer and bits and I’m going to drive to hers tomorrow and leave them on her doorstep for her.
She was supposed to be in Ibiza but obviously can’t. So I’ve put some stupid bits in , shots, some of them fluorescent band things, flip flops and a few other cheesy bits. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at anal street and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now. "
The name of that street is no an accident |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at anal street and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
The name of that street is no an accident"
Wahhhhh  . Bad typo. It meant to read “ we sat at the canal “. How funny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now. "
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at anal street and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
The name of that street is no an accident
Wahhhhh . Bad typo. It meant to read “ we sat at the canal “. How funny. "
Haha I've changed it you did say at the canal xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now. "
This is lively to hear. I do like a good love story |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at anal street and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
The name of that street is no an accident
Wahhhhh . Bad typo. It meant to read “ we sat at the canal “. How funny.
Haha I've changed it you did say at the canal xx "
You little french fooker you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at anal street and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
The name of that street is no an accident
Wahhhhh . Bad typo. It meant to read “ we sat at the canal “. How funny.
Haha I've changed it you did say at the canal xx
You little french fooker you "
Haha gotcha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting "
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X"
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now. "
Really happy for you. Hope it all works out like x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together "
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
Really happy for you. Hope it all works out like x "
Thanks, I’m completely loving my journey, she blows me away completely |
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You may not feel this way many times in a lifetime. So when you do its gotta be worth chasing to see where it leads. Take that step of the cliff edge with your eyes closed & just let yourself fall into fate. Take a chance & go grab yourself that happiness we all crave & are looking for if we're honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now. "
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You may not feel this way many times in a lifetime. So when you do its gotta be worth chasing to see where it leads. Take that step of the cliff edge with your eyes closed & just let yourself fall into fate. Take a chance & go grab yourself that happiness we all crave & are looking for if we're honest. "
That’s exactly what I’m doing, and I’m absolutely for once in my life just going with my gut feelings, she’s just amazing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that "
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
Really happy for you. Hope it all works out like x
Thanks, I’m completely loving my journey, she blows me away completely "
Your story at the mo reminds me of a couple of good friends of mine actually. A few years ago my friend K who's v.butch into her chainsaws and forestry and that met S a v.fem lass, she'd always been in straight relationships but had flirted with being bi. They got together and completely blew each other away. Got properly married and have recently adopted a baby. Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
Really happy for you. Hope it all works out like x
Thanks, I’m completely loving my journey, she blows me away completely
Your story at the mo reminds me of a couple of good friends of mine actually. A few years ago my friend K who's v.butch into her chainsaws and forestry and that met S a v.fem lass, she'd always been in straight relationships but had flirted with being bi. They got together and completely blew each other away. Got properly married and have recently adopted a baby. Good luck x "
Really? That’s so lovely. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
Really happy for you. Hope it all works out like x
Thanks, I’m completely loving my journey, she blows me away completely
Your story at the mo reminds me of a couple of good friends of mine actually. A few years ago my friend K who's v.butch into her chainsaws and forestry and that met S a v.fem lass, she'd always been in straight relationships but had flirted with being bi. They got together and completely blew each other away. Got properly married and have recently adopted a baby. Good luck x
Really? That’s so lovely. X"
It is. Lovely couple they are as well. They really looked after me a while back when I was going through a rough patch. You never can tell see x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
Really happy for you. Hope it all works out like x
Thanks, I’m completely loving my journey, she blows me away completely
Your story at the mo reminds me of a couple of good friends of mine actually. A few years ago my friend K who's v.butch into her chainsaws and forestry and that met S a v.fem lass, she'd always been in straight relationships but had flirted with being bi. They got together and completely blew each other away. Got properly married and have recently adopted a baby. Good luck x
Really? That’s so lovely. X
It is. Lovely couple they are as well. They really looked after me a while back when I was going through a rough patch. You never can tell see x "
I love a good love story. And I do believe that if you open your heart then one day you will meet someone. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain??"
Don’t private message me, just post on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain??
Don’t private message me, just post on here. "
The rules are up there ^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain??
Don’t private message me, just post on here.
The rules are up there ^^^"
Ok my love. Lockdown is hard. I hope your ok. Take a deep breath, yoga is good. Don’t stress. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain??
Don’t private message me, just post on here.
The rules are up there ^^^"
You are in Scotland. I dont believe in England there was an hour limit mentioned. People do sit on the doorstep and chat to their families. As long as they are maintaining distance they arent breaking rules. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain??
Don’t private message me, just post on here.
The rules are up there ^^^
You are in Scotland. I dont believe in England there was an hour limit mentioned. People do sit on the doorstep and chat to their families. As long as they are maintaining distance they arent breaking rules. "
I didn't think any of us were supposed to be making arrangements to meet up and hang out with friends, distance or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
At the end of the day we cannot help who you fall for man or woman if there is an attraction now don't go hiding it even though we are all on her naughty website they can always be a proper attraction there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain??
Don’t private message me, just post on here.
The rules are up there ^^^
You are in Scotland. I dont believe in England there was an hour limit mentioned. People do sit on the doorstep and chat to their families. As long as they are maintaining distance they arent breaking rules.
I didn't think any of us were supposed to be making arrangements to meet up and hang out with friends, distance or not "
I work for the NHS, I’m a key worker every single day I come into contact with seriously ill people, it’s my job. But today I met with someone and we sat 2 meters apart. I so wanted to hug her, kiss her, but I didn’t.
We sat 2 meters apart and talked. I’m not one bit bothered by my actions today. But tomorrow when I’m on a 12 hr shift I may be bothered working in close contact with people who could be “risk” but do you know what , that person is in need of my help and care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain??
Don’t private message me, just post on here.
The rules are up there ^^^
You are in Scotland. I dont believe in England there was an hour limit mentioned. People do sit on the doorstep and chat to their families. As long as they are maintaining distance they arent breaking rules.
I didn't think any of us were supposed to be making arrangements to meet up and hang out with friends, distance or not "
Just assume they were sitting in the various yoga positions. If this helps. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok big update. We have face timed every day. And today we met! We kept within 2 meters and we sat at a canal and chatted for hours. It was so nice
I’m so happy right now.
An hour the guidance is...and exercise involves moving, not sitting chatting
Oh god are you a negative nelly ? Please don’t be. X
Imagine stickler for some rules
We're all in this together
Please tell me what harm we did? Seriously. We sat 2 meters apart chatting. I’m not going to reply as I’m happy right now.
You broke the rules regarding the current guidance
You must know that
Ok what rules did I brake ?? Please explain??
Don’t private message me, just post on here.
The rules are up there ^^^
You are in Scotland. I dont believe in England there was an hour limit mentioned. People do sit on the doorstep and chat to their families. As long as they are maintaining distance they arent breaking rules.
I didn't think any of us were supposed to be making arrangements to meet up and hang out with friends, distance or not
Just assume they were sitting in the various yoga positions. If this helps. "
Namaste |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP I think you are over thinking everything. Try to be calm and yes it’s not easy.
Communication
Communication
Communication
Is key.
Talk to her.
Follow your gut feeling.
Be happy.
xx"
Totally agree, I’ve been so open with her and honest and she’s been amazing. I think she understands me more than I do myself. I just find it hard being bisexual, I know a lot of lesbian women won’t go with bi woman and that frustrates me. But she’s understanding and I’m just going with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I just find it frustrating how if your bi sexual you always have to quantify it as such. Do you prefer men or woman or am I really bi or just a bit i wouldn’t ask a lesbian how much of a lesbian she is or how straight a straight person is.
Just boils my piss. Loads of lesbian woman in the past won’t even entertain being in a relationship with a bi-woman and that can hurt. And why do bi woman get viewed as being more promiscuous or they will be more likely to cheat.
Grrrrr having a bit of a really pissed off day with labels. Maybe it’s a learning curve about myself |
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"Biphobia is real. Solidarity.
Really has wound me up the past few days.  "
Be who you want to be. Take the labels that serve you, to the extent they serve you. Sod the rest. Easier said than done. Believe me, I know this well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try not to overthink it. If people are saying things to you then it's them with the issue.
You seem very happy with your new relationship so enjoy that. Everyone else can bugger right off. "
It’s just frustrating it’s like people think are you 50% gay 50% straight. No I’m 100% bisexual. |
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"Try not to overthink it. If people are saying things to you then it's them with the issue.
You seem very happy with your new relationship so enjoy that. Everyone else can bugger right off.
It’s just frustrating it’s like people think are you 50% gay 50% straight. No I’m 100% bisexual. "
Hugs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try not to overthink it. If people are saying things to you then it's them with the issue.
You seem very happy with your new relationship so enjoy that. Everyone else can bugger right off.
It’s just frustrating it’s like people think are you 50% gay 50% straight. No I’m 100% bisexual.
Hugs"
Thank you lovely. Hope your well. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try not to overthink it. If people are saying things to you then it's them with the issue.
You seem very happy with your new relationship so enjoy that. Everyone else can bugger right off.
It’s just frustrating it’s like people think are you 50% gay 50% straight. No I’m 100% bisexual.
Hugs
Thank you lovely. Hope your well. X"
I’m attracted to the person not their gender. Be it trans, gay , straight, lesbian |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Absolutely X
Not greedy, not indecisive. Just... bi."
Exactly, I’m attracted to men woman , men who were woman woman who were men, lesbians, I’m just attracted to the person regardless of gender , I do have a type but don’t as such. It’s weird. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Well 3rd time meeting and I’m totally more enjoying our time together. She’s just amazing. I feel alive when I’m with her, she makes me feel special.
Just a little update. X |
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"Well 3rd time meeting and I’m totally more enjoying our time together. She’s just amazing. I feel alive when I’m with her, she makes me feel special.
Just a little update. X"
That's a nice place to be x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well 3rd time meeting and I’m totally more enjoying our time together. She’s just amazing. I feel alive when I’m with her, she makes me feel special.
Just a little update. X
Happy for you "
Thank you. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I am a private person anyway so when I rang one of my closest friends earlier and told her about her she was very shocked. Not shocked it was a woman just that I’d met someone 3 times as I must really like them and have a connection.
So as we were speaking she said “ so are you lesbian now” to which I said “ no I’m bisexual “ I’ll always be bisexual as you will always be straight. So she replied “ but your going into a relationship with a woman “. I tried my hardest to explain that I’m not straight I’m not lesbian I’m bisexual, but that doesn’t make me confused or more likely to cheat or be promiscuous.
She still didn’t get it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Happy to read this update
Pity your friend hasn't quite grasped it yet "
It’s like most people to be fair. They can’t grasp bisexuality. If I’m with a woman I’m “ lesbian “ but with a man I’m bi. It’s weird. |
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"Happy to read this update
Pity your friend hasn't quite grasped it yet
It’s like most people to be fair. They can’t grasp bisexuality. If I’m with a woman I’m “ lesbian “ but with a man I’m bi. It’s weird. "
You're attracted to blondes and brunettes. You're with a blonde, that means you don't like brunettes anymore, right?
Oh my god pick a side, you can't possibly like both hair colours, etc...
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Happy to read this update
Pity your friend hasn't quite grasped it yet
It’s like most people to be fair. They can’t grasp bisexuality. If I’m with a woman I’m “ lesbian “ but with a man I’m bi. It’s weird.
You're attracted to blondes and brunettes. You're with a blonde, that means you don't like brunettes anymore, right?
Oh my god pick a side, you can't possibly like both hair colours, etc...
"
Exactly, OMG I’ve never in my life thought so much as I have the past 8 weeks. It’s like I am holding myself under a microscope, and I’m for once having to understand my feelings.
And I completely now am understanding my sexuality and how it means to me , it’s made me explore more and connect with people and ask questions I never thought I could. I’m very very proud for who I am and who I like , so it’s even more confusing for a close friend to not understand, when I’m trying to understand myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try not to overthink it. If people are saying things to you then it's them with the issue.
You seem very happy with your new relationship so enjoy that. Everyone else can bugger right off.
It’s just frustrating it’s like people think are you 50% gay 50% straight. No I’m 100% bisexual.
Hugs
Thank you lovely. Hope your well. X
I’m attracted to the person not their gender. Be it trans, gay , straight, lesbian "
Pansexual |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try not to overthink it. If people are saying things to you then it's them with the issue.
You seem very happy with your new relationship so enjoy that. Everyone else can bugger right off.
It’s just frustrating it’s like people think are you 50% gay 50% straight. No I’m 100% bisexual.
Hugs
Thank you lovely. Hope your well. X
I’m attracted to the person not their gender. Be it trans, gay , straight, lesbian
Pansexual "
Yes I would sway towards this. I hate labels though. Like I really don’t understand why we have to put ourselves in a box as such. It’s like I’ve always been attracted to both men and woman but one day I was attracted to a woman but she had a dick, omg so what does that make me now? What label do I need. It’s just so conforming and I just like who I like.
I wish more people could understand. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I find labels a useful starting point. These people probably have something in common with me. But you use it as you see fit and discard the rest."
Yes I get that 100% I find mainly it’s hetro or gay that find it hard to understand “ labels” mid spectrum (so to speak) are classed as “ not gay not straight “ and not “ serious” just what I’ve experienced xx |
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"I find labels a useful starting point. These people probably have something in common with me. But you use it as you see fit and discard the rest.
Yes I get that 100% I find mainly it’s hetro or gay that find it hard to understand “ labels” mid spectrum (so to speak) are classed as “ not gay not straight “ and not “ serious” just what I’ve experienced xx"
For sure. Use them if you want, or not. I take them for myself with nuance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ok bit of an update. Well we had another date. I took a pic Nic. We had a walk along the canal which was lovely. But since then it’s always been me showing my interest as such, so I said exactly how I felt.
I woke up the next day not regretting one thing I said, I didn’t say anything bad or out of place , I just put my cards on the table. Her response was that I was out of order and she’s a “ slow burner”. Which I responded with I’m completely withdrawing now. I’ll leave it to her. I feel like I was running after a lost cat or dog, sorry but no I’ve told you how I feel and now I’m going to be neutral.
So now it’s very frosty. But I still feel she thinks it’s up to me to make a move. Am a wrong if I don’t? As I have done previously? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"She just ain’t that into you.
Or she is but playing hard to get
To be honest I’ve been feeling this. I think she wants me to run. "
I messaged her the other week at 11pm on a Sunday and all I said was how much I like her and I did say that we are different as she’s very stand offish and I’m not , the next day her reply was like I messaged her saying I killed her nans cat or something,
Seriously it was a huge overreaction, I apologised for texting after 11, but Jesus Christ all I said was how much I liked her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She just ain’t that into you.
Or she is but playing hard to get
To be honest I’ve been feeling this. I think she wants me to run.
I messaged her the other week at 11pm on a Sunday and all I said was how much I like her and I did say that we are different as she’s very stand offish and I’m not , the next day her reply was like I messaged her saying I killed her nans cat or something,
Seriously it was a huge overreaction, I apologised for texting after 11, but Jesus Christ all I said was how much I liked her. "
I don't think that you are compatible. You will find someone else. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
It happens often on here OP - it's easy to get carried away with emotions and other factors and read things into situations that simply aren't there, or aren't reciprocated in the same way as you'd like.
The fact that a lot of the interaction you have with people is textual with occasional in person contact can mean things are taken out of context or misunderstood - and it's a tough one to get your head round, especially when you don't think you have done anything wrong particularly.
I've had situations where I've thought things have gone well, we've had a great time and have looked forward to more of the same and people have gone quiet on me - and it's not that I, or they, have done anything wrong, just that things have drifted, or they've been looking for something different or had something happen in real life that has seen them back away or any number of other possibilities - sometimes there is no real rhyme or reason behind it, it's just the way it is and all you can do is take it on the chin and accept it wasn't meant to be.
It doesn't make sense at times, but I've learned there's no point trying to make sense of it because it will drive you crazy - hard to do I know, because it's only natural to wonder but you just have to try and move on and accept that you just weren't compatible for whatever reason. |
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