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By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag calls out to them "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up"
"Sure" they said "You're welcome" So they start playing and enjoy the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course one of the friends asked the newcomer "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man" was the reply.
"Your joking" was the response.
"No, I'm not" he said reaching into his golf bag and pulling out a beautiful Martini snipers rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools".
"Thats a beautiful telescopic sight" said the other friend. "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here". So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom....Ha Ha I can see she's naked! Wait a minute, thats my neighbour in there with her...........He's naked too".
He turns to the hit man "How much do you charge for a hit?"
I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the tigger"
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy so shoot her in the mouth"
"Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his Dick off to teach him a lesson"
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend, impatiently.
"Just be patient" said the hitman, calmly. "I think I can save you a grand here.........." |
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"Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag calls out to them "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up"
"Sure" they said "You're welcome" So they start playing and enjoy the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course one of the friends asked the newcomer "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man" was the reply.
"Your joking" was the response.
"No, I'm not" he said reaching into his golf bag and pulling out a beautiful Martini snipers rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools".
"Thats a beautiful telescopic sight" said the other friend. "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here". So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom....Ha Ha I can see she's naked! Wait a minute, thats my neighbour in there with her...........He's naked too".
He turns to the hit man "How much do you charge for a hit?"
I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the tigger"
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy so shoot her in the mouth"
"Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his Dick off to teach him a lesson"
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend, impatiently.
"Just be patient" said the hitman, calmly. "I think I can save you a grand here..........""
love it  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag calls out to them "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up"
"Sure" they said "You're welcome" So they start playing and enjoy the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course one of the friends asked the newcomer "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man" was the reply.
"Your joking" was the response.
"No, I'm not" he said reaching into his golf bag and pulling out a beautiful Martini snipers rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools".
"Thats a beautiful telescopic sight" said the other friend. "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here". So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom....Ha Ha I can see she's naked! Wait a minute, thats my neighbour in there with her...........He's naked too".
He turns to the hit man "How much do you charge for a hit?"
I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the tigger"
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy so shoot her in the mouth"
"Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his Dick off to teach him a lesson"
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend, impatiently.
"Just be patient" said the hitman, calmly. "I think I can save you a grand here..........""
 |
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"Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag calls out to them "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up"
"Sure" they said "You're welcome" So they start playing and enjoy the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course one of the friends asked the newcomer "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man" was the reply.
"Your joking" was the response.
"No, I'm not" he said reaching into his golf bag and pulling out a beautiful Martini snipers rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools".
"Thats a beautiful telescopic sight" said the other friend. "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here". So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom....Ha Ha I can see she's naked! Wait a minute, thats my neighbour in there with her...........He's naked too".
He turns to the hit man "How much do you charge for a hit?"
I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the tigger"
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy so shoot her in the mouth"
"Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his Dick off to teach him a lesson"
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend, impatiently.
"Just be patient" said the hitman, calmly. "I think I can save you a grand here..........""
Brilliant, I'm pinching it |
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