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Wipe yer bum!
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Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it  "
I wonder if men like that masturbate... Or is that gay too |
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it "
That poor woman cleaning skid marks from her bedsheets and the guy thought it was gay.
I read a rimming horror story too.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "
3 seashells |
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
Whattttttttt. I’m going to sit in the shoe cupboard....  "
There's a Simpsons quote for everything.
"There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality" |
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
Whattttttttt. I’m going to sit in the shoe cupboard....
There's a Simpsons quote for everything.
"There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality""
Love it! |
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"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort 
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating    |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating "
I live near you! So...did you bag it and take it home...or is it still there for some lucky person’s dog to roll in?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely the correct way is to spread the cheeks and wipe from Gooch up (front to back).
In the shower you just karate chop the crack to avoid getting shit under your fingernails, everybody knows that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it "
I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information
Really struggling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating "
And what did you do with it? Leave it for someone’s dog to find?
I’ve been that dog owner, it’s unmistakeable and frankly absolutely rank.
I go for hikes regularly, I’ve never needed to shit so badly that it couldn’t wait for a toilet.  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "
Cant beat a good pressure washer.
A |
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information
Really struggling"
Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story . |
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"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating
I live near you! So...did you bag it and take it home...or is it still there for some lucky person’s dog to roll in?! "
Find secluded spot in woods
Dig and bury
If it was dug up it smells of Roses anyway
I was walking near becon hill other day
|
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
I read that and I was horrified at how many there were!"
I stumbled across details and it was one of those "that's quite enough internet for awhile" days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information
Really struggling
Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story ."
WHAT?!!!!! |
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information
Really struggling
Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story .
WHAT?!!!!! "
Do you want me to PM you a link? (I don't think it's allowed to be posted in the forum). |
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information
Really struggling
Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story ."
I think we have the same source 
That one was more  less at least |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating
I live near you! So...did you bag it and take it home...or is it still there for some lucky person’s dog to roll in?!
Find secluded spot in woods
Dig and bury
If it was dug up it smells of Roses anyway
I was walking near becon hill other day
"
A deep hole, I hope! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating "
You can still sit, but raise your feet on a small stool so that your knees are less than 90 degrees - it helps those who are constipated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely the correct way is to spread the cheeks and wipe from Gooch up (front to back).
In the shower you just karate chop the crack to avoid getting shit under your fingernails, everybody knows that "
Gooch?
But yes, away from the vagina. You don't want intestinal good bacteria to get into fanny, as there they'll be bad, very very bad. |
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
I wonder if men like that masturbate... Or is that gay too "
Now that's a burn. |
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"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating
You can still sit, but raise your feet on a small stool so that your knees are less than 90 degrees - it helps those who are constipated. "
( I have been for over 20 years xxxx ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating
You can still sit, but raise your feet on a small stool so that your knees are less than 90 degrees - it helps those who are constipated.
( I have been for over 20 years xxxx )"
20 year old constipation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information
Really struggling
Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story .
WHAT?!!!!!
Do you want me to PM you a link? (I don't think it's allowed to be posted in the forum)."
*I am scared though*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
3x3 sheets of toilet roll folded 3 times plus 2x2 sheets of toilet roll folded twice which are flushed, plus 2 baby wipes used individually and tied in a nappy sack. My bum may have the odd spot but is actually spotless.
|
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"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "
Personally I’m a bidet kinda guy. Makes absolutely certain you don’t leave anything on those hard to reach hairs
On the odd occasion of low water pressure or no bidet, I’m always grateful for the backup shower hose with quick release heads. I have 3, one for each head and the third for bum cleaning duties or diy bidet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
So as long as you're doing it
I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information
Really struggling
Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story .
WHAT?!!!!! "
Never have I wanted to laugh, cry, cringe and be sick at a thread more |
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"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....
Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort
So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating
I live near you! So...did you bag it and take it home...or is it still there for some lucky person’s dog to roll in?! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Went to Japan last year, best toilets ever. Heated seats, cleaning with variable water pressure and some play sounds or music. My bottom positively sparkled. |
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Couple of up and downs with paper to get the thick of it off, then a good ol' dig around with those Andrex wet wipes to polish and make the tea towel holder spic and span. Nothing worse than going out for some exercise after a poo and your ricker starts itching |
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"Couple of up and downs with paper to get the thick of it off, then a good ol' dig around with those Andrex wet wipes to polish and make the tea towel holder spic and span. Nothing worse than going out for some exercise after a poo and your ricker starts itching "
Yes put what about when you do one of them farts that scratches your bum hole for you. Lifesavers. |
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"Couple of up and downs with paper to get the thick of it off, then a good ol' dig around with those Andrex wet wipes to polish and make the tea towel holder spic and span. Nothing worse than going out for some exercise after a poo and your ricker starts itching
Yes put what about when you do one of them farts that scratches your bum hole for you. Lifesavers. "
There is a certain satisfaction in those, but also a worry that your undercrackers now resemble the Turin shroud |
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"Couple of up and downs with paper to get the thick of it off, then a good ol' dig around with those Andrex wet wipes to polish and make the tea towel holder spic and span. Nothing worse than going out for some exercise after a poo and your ricker starts itching
Yes put what about when you do one of them farts that scratches your bum hole for you. Lifesavers.
There is a certain satisfaction in those, but also a worry that your undercrackers now resemble the Turin shroud "
Like when a kid makes a butterfly at nursery |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".
PLEASE tell me you're joking...
I'm afraid not "
Crikey. |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.
I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention |
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"I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.
I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention "
was everyone paying attention though PK?
D. |
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"I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.
I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention "
So you weren’t allowed a poo on a 12 he flight. Please tell me it wasn’t curry for the in-flight meal too? |
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"I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.
I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention
So you weren’t allowed a poo on a 12 he flight. Please tell me it wasn’t curry for the in-flight meal too? "
D. |
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Believe it or not, when I was at school you had to go to the office and request toilet paper, because they'd had rolls thrown in the toilet. (The old 'Izal', so hard it could set your bum on fire if you wiped too briskly).
I remember that the schoolboy joke was that you got 4 sheets... 'One up, one down, one up and down, and a final polish'. |
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"Believe it or not, when I was at school you had to go to the office and request toilet paper, because they'd had rolls thrown in the toilet. (The old 'Izal', so hard it could set your bum on fire if you wiped too briskly).
I remember that the schoolboy joke was that you got 4 sheets... 'One up, one down, one up and down, and a final polish'."
Cut your little bum did that stuff didn’t it. How on earth was that cheaper than paper? |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
"I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.
I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention
So you weren’t allowed a poo on a 12 he flight. Please tell me it wasn’t curry for the in-flight meal too?
D."
Of course they served curry - every meal, even breakfast. The whole plane was thick with the smell of spices. I was dreading needing to pay a visit. I didn't want to be the one to follow the person who hadn't paid attention and actually left me a present atop the lid. I recall eyeballing the person in front of me in the queue, desperate for some acknowledgement of civilised signs of life.
Some holiday experiences never leave you |
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"So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike
And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper
Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience
Most liberating "
Please tell me you don’t surface lay! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I like to drop into my local car wash in a soft top, then drop my keks and point my starfish at the skies just as the big overhead roller gets up a good head of steam
Brings a tear to the eye but it adds a gleam that just can't be matched no matter how much Andrex you use
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.
Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.
Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "
jetwash only way |
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