FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Should one Dom respect another Dom?
Should one Dom respect another Dom?
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"So I’ve found myself in this situation and as I’m a sub in training would like to know what people thought on this? "
Define respect.
If you mean not trying to engage with another Dom/mes sub, belittle them or interfere in their existing relationship, for me the answer is yes. |
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"So I’ve found myself in this situation and as I’m a sub in training would like to know what people thought on this? "
Respect is earned, irrespective of dominance. If anyone tries to assert dominance without consent, I'd lose a lot of respect for them as people, let alone as a kinkster.
In life we're all equal, but in kink the sub is the one holding the real power.
But a more direct answer to your question is that I personally respect a Dom who is considered, knowledgeable, and receptive to the different lifestyles people lead. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying you have two doms? "
no only my master. But in a situation where a current Dom is not respecting my master.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If one Dom is aware that you are owned should he respect your master and not pursue you? "
Surely the respectful thing for the pursuing Dom to do is engage in dialog your master, no?
Fuzz |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"If one Dom is aware that you are owned should he respect your master and not pursue you? "
OK gotcha. Well in my opinion he should respect YOU, and not pursue you if you've told him not to. Block him if that's the case. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??"
i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If one Dom is aware that you are owned should he respect your master and not pursue you?
OK gotcha. Well in my opinion he should respect YOU, and not pursue you if you've told him not to. Block him if that's the case. "
thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If one Dom is aware that you are owned should he respect your master and not pursue you?
Surely the respectful thing for the pursuing Dom to do is engage in dialog your master, no?
Fuzz"
this was my thought also |
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub "
Doesn’t really sound like he fully understands the dynamic tbh- block him, he’s a pretender lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub "
Second dom is being disrespectful to your dynamic |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub
Second dom is being disrespectful to your dynamic"
thank you. I just needed other views on this as I am new to this. X |
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub
Doesn’t really sound like he fully understands the dynamic tbh- block him, he’s a pretender lol"
This ^
So many 'Doms' lead with the whole "if you were a real dub you'd do as I say, because I'm a Dom"  |
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Having read this unless the relationship is abusive and something needs saying, due respect should be offered to the other Dom, I have been in a position in the past as some with a lot of experience and history on the scene, where a word had to had as someone was dangerous. I don’t play in public anymore as the whole 50 shades wannabes got on my nerves and the etiquette was being forgot. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub
Doesn’t really sound like he fully understands the dynamic tbh- block him, he’s a pretender lol
This ^
So many 'Doms' lead with the whole "if you were a real dub you'd do as I say, because I'm a Dom" "
i agree yes. |
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub "
It seems like bad form, but I would say that you could shut the situation down and tell the other chap to keep out of your relationship. Just because you are sub to one man, doesn't mean that you should ne dominated by anyone who tries... submission is a choice.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub
It seems like bad form, but I would say that you could shut the situation down and tell the other chap to keep out of your relationship. Just because you are sub to one man, doesn't mean that you should ne dominated by anyone who tries... submission is a choice.
Thank you my lovely this is very true
Cal"
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub "
If he's belittling the man you gave the gift of your submission to, how much respect do you think he'll have for you? Does your Master actually know what's going on here? I assume you've told the second guy you are owned? If he's aware that you are, but is choosing to ignore the fact then he's clearly best avoided and you need to block and move on. |
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"So I’ve found myself in this situation and as I’m a sub in training would like to know what people thought on this? "
I'll be blunt
You do realise as the sub you are in charge ?
If not erm
So I'll reiterate there should never be a conflict you control the situation
If it becomes a shit fest cock fight it will be your fault |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I’ve found myself in this situation and as I’m a sub in training would like to know what people thought on this?
I'll be blunt
You do realise as the sub you are in charge ?
If not erm
So I'll reiterate there should never be a conflict you control the situation
If it becomes a shit fest cock fight it will be your fault "
oh really? I think I understand thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the world of BDSM all Doms should respect each, if a Dom knows you are collared then he should not even get in touch with you especially without going through your Dom first.
If he's not doing this he's not respecting either of you and isnt genuine. If you are on "FL" its usually states on your profile that your owned/collared and nearly everyone on there follows the correct Etiquette. Plus your Dom should know and deal with this other bloke lovely x |
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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago
Serendipity |
"In the world of BDSM all Doms should respect each, if a Dom knows you are collared then he should not even get in touch with you especially without going through your Dom first.
If he's not doing this he's not respecting either of you and isnt genuine. If you are on "FL" its usually states on your profile that your owned/collared and nearly everyone on there follows the correct Etiquette. Plus your Dom should know and deal with this other bloke lovely x"
This is spot on. |
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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
In all honesty, the only thing that is needed here is common sense...
So what if you are new to being a sub...
If you are committed to one man, which apparently you are, you wouldn't even be entertaining the conversation with this other guy...
To me this situation of a guy trying to butt in is no different to normal life...
Block the guy, which ultimately will show your respect to your Master... He shouldn't have to deal with this for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all honesty, the only thing that is needed here is common sense...
So what if you are new to being a sub...
If you are committed to one man, which apparently you are, you wouldn't even be entertaining the conversation with this other guy...
To me this situation of a guy trying to butt in is no different to normal life...
Block the guy, which ultimately will show your respect to your Master... He shouldn't have to deal with this for you."
A lot of the trouble is BDSM etiquette and culture has disappeared so far up its own ass , its difficult for new bees to understand what is right or wrong . Its cloaked now in so many " mustdoisms or thatsnotrightisms its losing all resemblance of what it started out as
Bdsm, kink , fetish what ever you want to call it runs parallel to real life not off at some crazy tangent . If someone is getting on your threpenny bits , As the above poster said " common sense " delete and block ... |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Take the whole D/s thing out of it for a second OP - in a "normal" relationship if you were with someone and were approached by another guy that would be considered disrespectful to the guy you were with wouldn't it?
No difference if you add D/s into the equation  |
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"More detail needed- what’s the specific situation??i currently have my master whom I met on here. But another as come along to collar me as he thinks I am not owned which I am most definitely am. Yet he continues to belittle my master on how he does things with his sub "
Erm
I'll say again
He's just a man
Being a man
You have the control it's called the block button
Whilst you dont press it you are enjoying the attention
No dom has to respect any other some doms are utter twats
Some humans play games try their luck some do not
This is internet land
Whether you are collored or not is irrelevant here
You either like and want the attention from this man
Or you block
It's not a predicament or a sub dom thing  |
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Oh and what I meant by
" no dom has to"
All humans should respect others simple
We know they dont
The wannabe dom is doing no more or less than a normal man
He should respect boundaries he can try it on he can be a cock you can block
Life can be simple x |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I would not respect anyone who tells me they “own” another person. I’m naturally Dom, it’s not something that’s turned on and off in the bedroom, and part of that is when you want someone or something you generally make it happen, some people view that as disrespect but it’s just competition. I’ve played with other Doms and respect comes down to what they are like as a person not whether they are a Dom or not. |
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Genuine question. If you have a master who sounds possessive. Why are you on fab? If he owns you. Wouldn't he be the one who finds the other people to fuck you? I don't know anything about this master relationship so curious to know. Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have the true power as a sub. Simple solution. Block the idiot who has clearly no understanding of your relationship.
Empower yourself with the simple action .. you are no obliged to talk to anyone you choose not to. |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
Remove all dom aspects for a moment..
Anyone approaching you should be finding out what your situation is. If you're saying you're already owned and not playing. He should back off.
Just because you are in a dom/sub situation, it doesn't mean that you can't have normal conversations and make your own decisions. Especially at the start, your dynamics need to be consensual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like others in this thread I am seeing a few red flags here. If you are looking for a scenario where you are dominated by two men, this can work, but in my experience the men would need to get to know each other and be respectful of each other without competition. It is also normally evident in situations like this and in the throes of passion with whom your allegiance lies! Good luck in finding your way xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t ever persue a sub that is in a dynamic, even if they were both actively looking for a 2nd Dom to join.
I have too much respect for dynamics and would expect other people to show the same respect for the dynamic I was in. |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
As someone else said, forget the D/s dynamic for a second, its basic respect. You have a relationship, and the new guy is trying to ruin it in the hope of getting his way. That's not ok in any situation.
As far as D/s goes, you have the power. The sub always has the power to say no.
The new guy might call himself a Dom but he's not your Dom. There's an important difference. Submission is earned, its not something he can just come along and take.
I don't know if this is something you're exploring as a 'newbie' or if you're an experienced member of the kink scene, so apologies if I'm stating the obvious, but if not there are plenty of local kink groups and events (when allowed!), it might be good to get into the scene more, speak to experienced subs and Doms and get to know more about best practice. Respecting others's boundaries, dynamics and consent are key.
Sorry for the long message, PM me if you want to chat more. |
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