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How does dom/sub couple work?
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By *ofusplus OP Couple
over a year ago
Limerick |
How does this work? Does it only apply to their swinging life or to everyday life? How does it work when they meet with another person/couple? Is it just roleplay? What type of people generally form dom/sub relationships?
Is there a standard answer for each question above, or is it different for every couple? TIA  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Very much depends on individual dynamics OP - D/s and indeed BDSM covers a very wide spectrum from a little added kink play to add spice to a "normal" sex life at one end to 24/7 living the roles at the other
So there is no definitive answer only individual ones |
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By *ofusplus OP Couple
over a year ago
Limerick |
Thanks guys. Ok, i'll rephrase the question: when a couples profile on Fab states that it's a dom/sub relationship, that the sub chats with the permission of the dom etc etc, what does this say about them and more importantly about how they will treat people that they play with? |
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"Thanks guys. Ok, i'll rephrase the question: when a couples profile on Fab states that it's a dom/sub relationship, that the sub chats with the permission of the dom etc etc, what does this say about them and more importantly about how they will treat people that they play with?"
You need to ask the individual couple |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Thanks guys. Ok, i'll rephrase the question: when a couples profile on Fab states that it's a dom/sub relationship, that the sub chats with the permission of the dom etc etc, what does this say about them and more importantly about how they will treat people that they play with?
You need to ask the individual couple "
This.
Because as has already been said, every single Ds couple and Ds Dynamic is different. One person can't speak for how someone else's relationship works |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Thanks guys. Ok, i'll rephrase the question: when a couples profile on Fab states that it's a dom/sub relationship, that the sub chats with the permission of the dom etc etc, what does this say about them and more importantly about how they will treat people that they play with?"
That's where communication and establishing boundaries comes in - I've met and played with one D/s couple and through chatting with them beforehand it was very clear how I fitted into the equation.
It may also depend on whether the male or female half of the couple is the dominant one and any number of other factors - again you won't get a definitive answer from anyone other than the couple concerned |
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I find meeting Dom/Sub couples confusing. As I'm assertive, and like to know what's going on, it's difficult to have a good experience when the Dom in the room is flexing their muscles. I put it down to lack of communication, though. |
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"Thanks guys. Ok, i'll rephrase the question: when a couples profile on Fab states that it's a dom/sub relationship, that the sub chats with the permission of the dom etc etc, what does this say about them and more importantly about how they will treat people that they play with?"
You really can't know that until you get to know them. |
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By *ofusplus OP Couple
over a year ago
Limerick |
"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom."
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh  . Mrs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs."
Likely to be lower-order doms. Ask to speak to their district supervisor (all domlets are organised into districts) - the supervisors will discipline them and run you through an induction. |
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"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom."
This has literally never been my experience in 8 years of both having my own D/s relationships and meeting other D/s couples or playing with them in clubs. If this is a situation all parties wanted then it's something they could do but in my experience any established power dynamic is usually kept between the couple but not extended to anyone new they play with unless they know them very well and it is something all parties have negotiated and agreed. Power dynamics are rarely entered into lightly and should never be imposed upon anyone. |
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"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs.
Likely to be lower-order doms. Ask to speak to their district supervisor (all domlets are organised into districts) - the supervisors will discipline them and run you through an induction."
I see what you're doing now  . |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs."
If your questions aren't being answered or aren't meeting your own meet criteria then the thing to do is walk away surely? |
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"Very much depends on individual dynamics OP - D/s and indeed BDSM covers a very wide spectrum from a little added kink play to add spice to a "normal" sex life at one end to 24/7 living the roles at the other
This! With bells on.
So there is no definitive answer only individual ones "
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"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs."
ßounds to me a bit like a wannabe? Although without being privvy to the entire conversation it's difficult to judge from the outside? If you're not comfortable, don't meet! I do have experience and I've found communication was always paramount.
Good luck!  |
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"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs.
Likely to be lower-order doms. Ask to speak to their district supervisor (all domlets are organised into districts) - the supervisors will discipline them and run you through an induction."
Haven't come across this before, but to reiterate. Communication is the key? |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs."
Talk to Submissive people, there motivations are less, how shall we say.... opinionated.
That is from someone who has an assertive side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs.
Talk to Submissive people, there motivations are less, how shall we say.... opinionated.
That is from someone who has an assertive side."
ok thank you x |
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"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs.
Likely to be lower-order doms. Ask to speak to their district supervisor (all domlets are organised into districts) - the supervisors will discipline them and run you through an induction."
 |
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By *ofusplus OP Couple
over a year ago
Limerick |
Thanks guys for the help. We did walk away as alarm bells were going off everywhere. My question was more generic in that, how does it work when a couple seems to eat/sleep/breathe the d/s lifestyle and they bring others into their bedroom? I guess we won't find out, not with this 2 anyway |
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By *ofusplus OP Couple
over a year ago
Limerick |
"If you meet a D/s couple then you'll be implicitly accepting the dominance of the submissive over you. If you're a couple you'll have to decide which of you is the dominant and which is the submissive, to clarify the chain of command.
You will then be tasked to find couples to co-opt into the pyramid for the glory of the first-level dom.
This was what I was looking for - thanks. Problem is, none of our questions are being answered. All we're getting from the Dom is "we like good fucking" , which is obviously a turn-off. So we were wondering is there a typical scenario when meeting highly D/s couples? Sounds like too much hassle for my liking tbh . Mrs.
Likely to be lower-order doms. Ask to speak to their district supervisor (all domlets are organised into districts) - the supervisors will discipline them and run you through an induction.
I see what you're doing now ."
Sorry, I'm stumped  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Thanks guys for the help. We did walk away as alarm bells were going off everywhere. My question was more generic in that, how does it work when a couple seems to eat/sleep/breathe the d/s lifestyle and they bring others into their bedroom? I guess we won't find out, not with this 2 anyway "
Appreciate it was a generic question and one that is understandable to ask for someone looking in from the outside - the trouble is there is no generic answer as you've seen from the above |
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By *ofusplus OP Couple
over a year ago
Limerick |
"Thanks guys for the help. We did walk away as alarm bells were going off everywhere. My question was more generic in that, how does it work when a couple seems to eat/sleep/breathe the d/s lifestyle and they bring others into their bedroom? I guess we won't find out, not with this 2 anyway
Appreciate it was a generic question and one that is understandable to ask for someone looking in from the outside - the trouble is there is no generic answer as you've seen from the above "
Thanks - appreciate the input |
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