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One liners

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex

Good morning all

So what has been the weirdest/funniest chat up lines you’ve had in your inbox/or sent to someone during this out break of corona virus???

I had “if corona virus doesn’t put you on your back, would you like me to do it”

It was funny to read but a delete from me.

Have you also noticed a lot of fabbers using the “I’m a key worker” line and asking to help make them cum

I’m grateful for all that they do, I really am but that’s taking it a little too far, no??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A guy offered to be my sissy this morning.

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"A guy offered to be my sissy this morning. "

Lol well you did say your loneliness is driving you crazy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

"

Hahaha your reply made me chuckle hun.

I’ve not had the stepmum comment yet. It does freak me out if I’m honest when mum/dad/daddy/mummy are used in a sexual context but that’s just me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When a girl says, "Pleeeeease Rossco, please fuck my ass"

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart "

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received?? "

Sent out, like 5 minutes ago

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

Hahaha your reply made me chuckle hun.

I’ve not had the stepmum comment yet. It does freak me out if I’m honest when mum/dad/daddy/mummy are used in a sexual context but that’s just me. "

I guess it's an age thing, and yeah I know what you mean, I can't get my head around those terms being used sexually either

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A guy offered to be my sissy this morning.

Lol well you did say your loneliness is driving you crazy "

I did. And he was nice enough to include a phone number, how did I resist I'll never know?!

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"When a girl says, "Pleeeeease Rossco, please fuck my ass""

I bet there’s a line of them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When a girl says, "Pleeeeease Rossco, please fuck my ass"

I bet there’s a line of them "

Theres been a few!

Never enough though!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Good morning all

So what has been the weirdest/funniest chat up lines you’ve had in your inbox/or sent to someone during this out break of corona virus???

I had “if corona virus doesn’t put you on your back, would you like me to do it”

It was funny to read but a delete from me.

Have you also noticed a lot of fabbers using the “I’m a key worker” line and asking to help make them cum

I’m grateful for all that they do, I really am but that’s taking it a little too far, no??

"

i don't use chat up lines theyre a bit corny don't you think

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received??

Sent out, like 5 minutes ago"

you little charmer, if that was aimed at me then feel free to come feel my pockets up

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By *0lden0ldieMan  over a year ago

Stewartby


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received??

Sent out, like 5 minutes ago

you little charmer, if that was aimed at me then feel free to come feel my pockets up "

I got a different one for you

Are you a pandemic? Because your curves are like the estimated infection rate of the covid 19 virus

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

"

bit harsh

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman  over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

This morning from what I can see a straight guy:

"Where do you buy your shoes? “

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

Hahaha your reply made me chuckle hun.

I’ve not had the stepmum comment yet. It does freak me out if I’m honest when mum/dad/daddy/mummy are used in a sexual context but that’s just me.

I guess it's an age thing, and yeah I know what you mean, I can't get my head around those terms being used sexually either "

I’ve tried to understand it but just can’t get my head around it too

Maybe it would be different if I didn’t have kids myself.

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"A guy offered to be my sissy this morning.

Lol well you did say your loneliness is driving you crazy

I did. And he was nice enough to include a phone number, how did I resist I'll never know?! "

Aww well there you go, loneliness will be over soon

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received??

Sent out, like 5 minutes ago

you little charmer, if that was aimed at me then feel free to come feel my pockets up

I got a different one for you

Are you a pandemic? Because your curves are like the estimated infection rate of the covid 19 virus "

But I like the other one

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received??

Sent out, like 5 minutes ago

you little charmer, if that was aimed at me then feel free to come feel my pockets up

I got a different one for you

Are you a pandemic? Because your curves are like the estimated infection rate of the covid 19 virus

But I like the other one "

Fine

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"This morning from what I can see a straight guy:

"Where do you buy your shoes? “"

I peeked in to have a look at your shoes, maybe he wanted to buy them for someone??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've used a joke I saw in a movie which got a laugh but little else but I liked it lol

"Excuse me. I have French asthma and can only catch my breath in snatches, your pics took my breath away. Can I put my mouth on your vagina? It's a matter of life and death"

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received??

Sent out, like 5 minutes ago

you little charmer, if that was aimed at me then feel free to come feel my pockets up

I got a different one for you

Are you a pandemic? Because your curves are like the estimated infection rate of the covid 19 virus

But I like the other one

Fine "

Booo I’ll take them both

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman  over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"This morning from what I can see a straight guy:

"Where do you buy your shoes? “

I peeked in to have a look at your shoes, maybe he wanted to buy them for someone??"

Tbh i can't rem_mber where I bought my shoes as they're so old

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman  over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

But it's not what usually men write to me about. Normally is "do you like my cock?" lol

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"I've used a joke I saw in a movie which got a laugh but little else but I liked it lol

"Excuse me. I have French asthma and can only catch my breath in snatches, your pics took my breath away. Can I put my mouth on your vagina? It's a matter of life and death"

"

Haha did you get a reply/delete/block for that comment

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've used a joke I saw in a movie which got a laugh but little else but I liked it lol

"Excuse me. I have French asthma and can only catch my breath in snatches, your pics took my breath away. Can I put my mouth on your vagina? It's a matter of life and death"

Haha did you get a reply/delete/block for that comment "

Reply: "lol very good but you're not my type"

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"I've used a joke I saw in a movie which got a laugh but little else but I liked it lol

"Excuse me. I have French asthma and can only catch my breath in snatches, your pics took my breath away. Can I put my mouth on your vagina? It's a matter of life and death"

Haha did you get a reply/delete/block for that comment

Reply: "lol very good but you're not my type"

"

That’s a shame

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex

[Removed by poster at 18/04/20 09:23:08]

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"But it's not what usually men write to me about. Normally is "do you like my cock?" lol"

That’s given and so typical

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By *oo32Man  over a year ago

tipperary

Not much is know about MR T's brother E

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People next door to me have made a sex tape ... but obviously they don’t know that yet ??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received??

Sent out, like 5 minutes ago"

You just broke my heart

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can I check your pockets? I think you've stolen my heart

Now I’m sitting there contemplating on whether this was a message you sent out or was it something you received??

Sent out, like 5 minutes ago

You just broke my heart "

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By *mberWoman  over a year ago

Preston


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

Hahaha your reply made me chuckle hun.

I’ve not had the stepmum comment yet. It does freak me out if I’m honest when mum/dad/daddy/mummy are used in a sexual context but that’s just me.

I guess it's an age thing, and yeah I know what you mean, I can't get my head around those terms being used sexually either

I’ve tried to understand it but just can’t get my head around it too

Maybe it would be different if I didn’t have kids myself. "

I don't have kids and this is the biggest no in existence!

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By *mberWoman  over a year ago

Preston

I was selling shoes on eBay and on the back of that listing a man asked if he could buy the contents of my bedroom bin!

Actually, that's not a one liner but the shoe comment above reminded me of it

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By *jangoMan  over a year ago

Plymouth


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

Hahaha your reply made me chuckle hun.

I’ve not had the stepmum comment yet. It does freak me out if I’m honest when mum/dad/daddy/mummy are used in a sexual context but that’s just me.

I guess it's an age thing, and yeah I know what you mean, I can't get my head around those terms being used sexually either "

Let's say it as it is. It's a wee bit sick, or is that just me? I do like the thought of the quite teacher or the librarian.

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By *oo32Man  over a year ago

tipperary


"I was selling shoes on eBay and on the back of that listing a man asked if he could buy the contents of my bedroom bin!

Actually, that's not a one liner but the shoe comment above reminded me of it "

Sooooo.....what was in the bin...

I'm errrrrr asking...for a friend yes a friend

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By *effrey45Man  over a year ago

Lytham

I got a message from a lady calling me average

I replied that’s such a mean word..

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

Hahaha your reply made me chuckle hun.

I’ve not had the stepmum comment yet. It does freak me out if I’m honest when mum/dad/daddy/mummy are used in a sexual context but that’s just me.

I guess it's an age thing, and yeah I know what you mean, I can't get my head around those terms being used sexually either

I’ve tried to understand it but just can’t get my head around it too

Maybe it would be different if I didn’t have kids myself.

I don't have kids and this is the biggest no in existence!"

I’m so glad that there’s others who feel the same way as me. With it without kids

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"I was selling shoes on eBay and on the back of that listing a man asked if he could buy the contents of my bedroom bin!

Actually, that's not a one liner but the shoe comment above reminded me of it "

That’s a little freaky

Did you sell it off lol

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

Hahaha your reply made me chuckle hun.

I’ve not had the stepmum comment yet. It does freak me out if I’m honest when mum/dad/daddy/mummy are used in a sexual context but that’s just me.

I guess it's an age thing, and yeah I know what you mean, I can't get my head around those terms being used sexually either

Let's say it as it is. It's a wee bit sick, or is that just me? I do like the thought of the quite teacher or the librarian. "

Now a teacher or librarian is ok...nothin wrong with that In my eyes

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"I got a message from a lady calling me average

I replied that’s such a mean word.."

That is a little mean. Why message that to someone if you’ve got no interest there.

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"I was selling shoes on eBay and on the back of that listing a man asked if he could buy the contents of my bedroom bin!

Actually, that's not a one liner but the shoe comment above reminded me of it

Sooooo.....what was in the bin...

I'm errrrrr asking...for a friend yes a friend"

Why are you interested in buying the content??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When we first met hubby handed me a handkerchief and asked "does this smell of chloroform to you?"..

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By *jangoMan  over a year ago

Plymouth


"As peoples horn level increase the weirder the messages are becoming.

Everyone wants me to be their stepmum

My reply is always 'yeah ok' followed by 'now fuck off before I tell your Father'

Hahaha your reply made me chuckle hun.

I’ve not had the stepmum comment yet. It does freak me out if I’m honest when mum/dad/daddy/mummy are used in a sexual context but that’s just me.

I guess it's an age thing, and yeah I know what you mean, I can't get my head around those terms being used sexually either

Let's say it as it is. It's a wee bit sick, or is that just me? I do like the thought of the quite teacher or the librarian.

Now a teacher or librarian is ok...nothin wrong with that In my eyes "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I got a message from a lady calling me average

I replied that’s such a mean word.."

I like this, although it might be lost on some people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When we first met hubby handed me a handkerchief and asked "does this smell of chloroform to you?".. "

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By *layful HarlequinMan  over a year ago

iver heath


"Good morning all

So what has been the weirdest/funniest chat up lines you’ve had in your inbox/or sent to someone during this out break of corona virus???

I had “if corona virus doesn’t put you on your back, would you like me to do it”

It was funny to read but a delete from me.

Have you also noticed a lot of fabbers using the “I’m a key worker” line and asking to help make them cum

I’m grateful for all that they do, I really am but that’s taking it a little too far, no??

"

You’d actually think that saying you’re a key worker would kind of kill any possibility of a possible meet. As surly the first thing anyone would think of is having a higher risk of infection. But saying that it’s still funny.

How about this one then. I’m start to worry about the love at first sight. I’m finding it hard with all these masks about.

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"When we first met hubby handed me a handkerchief and asked "does this smell of chloroform to you?".. "

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"I got a message from a lady calling me average

I replied that’s such a mean word..

I like this, although it might be lost on some people "

What do you like about being called average??

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By *oo32Man  over a year ago

tipperary


"I was selling shoes on eBay and on the back of that listing a man asked if he could buy the contents of my bedroom bin!

Actually, that's not a one liner but the shoe comment above reminded me of it

Sooooo.....what was in the bin...

I'm errrrrr asking...for a friend yes a friend

Why are you interested in buying the content??"

Absolutely not

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"Good morning all

So what has been the weirdest/funniest chat up lines you’ve had in your inbox/or sent to someone during this out break of corona virus???

I had “if corona virus doesn’t put you on your back, would you like me to do it”

It was funny to read but a delete from me.

Have you also noticed a lot of fabbers using the “I’m a key worker” line and asking to help make them cum

I’m grateful for all that they do, I really am but that’s taking it a little too far, no??

You’d actually think that saying you’re a key worker would kind of kill any possibility of a possible meet. As surly the first thing anyone would think of is having a higher risk of infection. But saying that it’s still funny.

How about this one then. I’m start to worry about the love at first sight. I’m finding it hard with all these masks about. "

They’re not asking for meeting....cam fun/pic swap is what they were after

I honestly didn’t get it, ive had quite a few of them.

Let’s say you did want to “help” a key worker out.

There is no way of knowing if they’re indeed a key worker or not lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I got a message from a lady calling me average

I replied that’s such a mean word..

I like this, although it might be lost on some people

What do you like about being called average??"

I think it's a maths joke... A mean number would be a list of numbers 3 4 6 8 4 2 6 8..add them up... Divide by the number of numbers (8) and the average is known as the mean

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hey gobby

If you and I were socks we’d sure make a great pair

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By *wist my nipplesCouple  over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Sex now"

Not sure the sender realised it was funny but I sure laughed!

Mrs TMN x

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"Hey gobby

If you and I were socks we’d sure make a great pair "

Lol that gave me the giggles

How about stocking instead?? It would make us a “sexy pair”

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


""Sex now"

Not sure the sender realised it was funny but I sure laughed!

Mrs TMN x"

I know right.... like that would even get them anywhere

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By *mberWoman  over a year ago

Preston


"I was selling shoes on eBay and on the back of that listing a man asked if he could buy the contents of my bedroom bin!

Actually, that's not a one liner but the shoe comment above reminded me of it

Sooooo.....what was in the bin...

I'm errrrrr asking...for a friend yes a friend"

Erm...normal bedroom stuff

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I got a message from a lady calling me average

I replied that’s such a mean word..

I like this, although it might be lost on some people

What do you like about being called average??

I think it's a maths joke... A mean number would be a list of numbers 3 4 6 8 4 2 6 8..add them up... Divide by the number of numbers (8) and the average is known as the mean"

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By *obbychick OP   Woman  over a year ago

Essex


"I got a message from a lady calling me average

I replied that’s such a mean word..

I like this, although it might be lost on some people

What do you like about being called average??

I think it's a maths joke... A mean number would be a list of numbers 3 4 6 8 4 2 6 8..add them up... Divide by the number of numbers (8) and the average is known as the mean

"

that one would be lost on me

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By *effrey45Man  over a year ago

Lytham


"I got a message from a lady calling me average

I replied that’s such a mean word..

I like this, although it might be lost on some people

What do you like about being called average??

I think it's a maths joke... A mean number would be a list of numbers 3 4 6 8 4 2 6 8..add them up... Divide by the number of numbers (8) and the average is known as the mean

that one would be lost on me "

That was a bit of a slow burner that one tbh

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