FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are there sexual opportunities or people you turned down...
Are there sexual opportunities or people you turned down...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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in the past that you wish you had said yes to?
I’ll kick off with one. I was offered the opportunity of an FFM threesome by a girl I was seeing many years ago who fancied another girl I was seeing at the same time. Our relationships were non-exclusive at that point. I was too scared to get them both together and bottled it. I’ve never had another opportunity that I could act on since. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I turned down an ffm threesome too. Before I knew about swinging as I thought that they were making fun of me. I've got a lot more confident now.
"
Have you managed to rectify that situation now or has another opportunity not arisen yet? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Yes. There was a beautiful, very funny man at uni that I turned down several times because I just thought that there was no way he would be interested in me; how could anyone be? He still messages me every couple of months to check in with how I am and it's rather sweet.
I guess it's not so much wishing I'd said yes to him (as fun as it would have been) as wishing I had had more confidence and self belief in who I was. |
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"I turned down an ffm threesome too. Before I knew about swinging as I thought that they were making fun of me. I've got a lot more confident now.
Have you managed to rectify that situation now or has another opportunity not arisen yet?"
It's never arisen actually. I've had a ffffm but like the last drop of marmite, I was spread too thin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I declined various occasions at uni when girls asked me to stop the night or go back to theirs, sometimes out of a belief that they were d*unker than I was and so it wouldnt be right, but mostly out of being oblivious and lack of self-confidence!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes. There was a beautiful, very funny man at uni that I turned down several times because I just thought that there was no way he would be interested in me; how could anyone be? He still messages me every couple of months to check in with how I am and it's rather sweet.
I guess it's not so much wishing I'd said yes to him (as fun as it would have been) as wishing I had had more confidence and self belief in who I was. "
Sorry I got diverted onto other things and forgot about this thread until now 
Yes I think our lack of self belief and confidence often denies us opportunities in many aspects of life but It often limited me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I turned down an ffm threesome too. Before I knew about swinging as I thought that they were making fun of me. I've got a lot more confident now.
Have you managed to rectify that situation now or has another opportunity not arisen yet?
It's never arisen actually. I've had a ffffm but like the last drop of marmite, I was spread too thin. "
Marmite can never be spread to thin in fact if there’s none it better for me. I could enjoy being spread that thinly I think  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I declined various occasions at uni when girls asked me to stop the night or go back to theirs, sometimes out of a belief that they were d*unker than I was and so it wouldnt be right, but mostly out of being oblivious and lack of self-confidence! "
Oh for sure d*unken encounters are best avoided, but here it is again about lack of confidence. |
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I think we all have weather it's confidence issues or just disbelief of that hot lady/gent is asking me, is there a catch you sometimes think, I think I would have been married now if I hadn't turned down some of the offers I had add back in my school days especially when I seem them now and there even more attractive now there not a spotty teen, oh well we learn by experience, don't we  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember a really hit girl throwing herself at me in a mates house years ago. She was really d*unk at the time and I was sober. I tried to calm her down a bit but she was having none of it. She ended up walking off, calling me a poof on her way! 
Should have just shagged her coz she was stunning and I've never seen her since!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think we all have weather it's confidence issues or just disbelief of that hot lady/gent is asking me, is there a catch you sometimes think, I think I would have been married now if I hadn't turned down some of the offers I had add back in my school days especially when I seem them now and there even more attractive now there not a spotty teen, oh well we learn by experience, don't we "
I didn’t miss the conventional opportunities when I was younger it was more the ones that were unconventional that I shied away from. I had far too many inhibitions sexually for too long and I’m still undoing some of them now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I remember a really hit girl throwing herself at me in a mates house years ago. She was really d*unk at the time and I was sober. I tried to calm her down a bit but she was having none of it. She ended up walking off, calling me a poof on her way!
Should have just shagged her coz she was stunning and I've never seen her since! "
Never sure that’s a good idea. Consent in those situations is dubious and it could have been much worse than a missed opportunity, no matter how hot she was. You did the right thing  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'll not go into too much detail but I let an opportunity to explore my submissive side slip by one that I know would have worked well, and although the door hasn't completely closed it may not re-open to my regret |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll not go into too much detail but I let an opportunity to explore my submissive side slip by one that I know would have worked well, and although the door hasn't completely closed it may not re-open to my regret "
Let’s hope the door is still ajar and you can get it bottomed out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t regret any choices made, as at the time the gut reaction to say no was the right decision. "
It’s good when you can trust your gut reaction. Mine is not 100% reliable. |
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Yeah, quite a few years back (18 if honest) I had the opportunity to go off to a music event with overnight camping with a hot couple, but decided not to as I wasn't really into that sort of music.
Another time I passed up meeting up with a lass who I'd been chatting with for some time as it clashed with my regular vanilla meeting with friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was seeing a woman who was bi, and she got really turned on watching her partner with another woman. She told me how she liked to sit in the corner of the room and finger herself whilst watching.
Great opportunity for a ffm with plenty of action for me but we broke up before making it a reality. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time... "
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups. |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time...
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups."
But are you sure you were actually being a scardy cat?
And are you sure it would of been fantastic/memorable?
I think things happen (or don't happen as is the case) for a reason. That reason may not be in plain sight. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah, quite a few years back (18 if honest) I had the opportunity to go off to a music event with overnight camping with a hot couple, but decided not to as I wasn't really into that sort of music.
Another time I passed up meeting up with a lass who I'd been chatting with for some time as it clashed with my regular vanilla meeting with friends."
Yep, it’s interesting to look back at the criteria we used to make the decision, at least in my case to be aware of them so I can avoid the mistake again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time...
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups.
But are you sure you were actually being a scardy cat?
And are you sure it would of been fantastic/memorable?
I think things happen (or don't happen as is the case) for a reason. That reason may not be in plain sight. "
I think that can be true at times, however I know there are a number of things I could have fulfilled if I’d ceased opportunities in the moment, in life in general not just sexually. My insecurities and lack of self belief and confidence was frequently the key factor in why I didn’t. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time...
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups.
But are you sure you were actually being a scardy cat?
And are you sure it would of been fantastic/memorable?
I think things happen (or don't happen as is the case) for a reason. That reason may not be in plain sight. "
Very good points - in fact is it actually regret or wondering what might have been? I'm thinking the latter in the situation I mentioned.
The reasons it didn't happen were down to circumstance and other factors at the time and were basically sound based on that moment in time so can't be regrets.
I'm also a believer in fate and the "if it was meant to be it was meant to be" mantra and elderly Aunt used to roll out when I was younger |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time...
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups.
But are you sure you were actually being a scardy cat?
And are you sure it would of been fantastic/memorable?
I think things happen (or don't happen as is the case) for a reason. That reason may not be in plain sight.
I think that can be true at times, however I know there are a number of things I could have fulfilled if I’d ceased opportunities in the moment, in life in general not just sexually. My insecurities and lack of self belief and confidence was frequently the key factor in why I didn’t."
So, if you had the ability to go back, would you seize those opportunities even if you knew they could/would change how your life has played up until now?
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time...
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups.
But are you sure you were actually being a scardy cat?
And are you sure it would of been fantastic/memorable?
I think things happen (or don't happen as is the case) for a reason. That reason may not be in plain sight.
I think that can be true at times, however I know there are a number of things I could have fulfilled if I’d ceased opportunities in the moment, in life in general not just sexually. My insecurities and lack of self belief and confidence was frequently the key factor in why I didn’t.
So, if you had the ability to go back, would you seize those opportunities even if you knew they could/would change how your life has played up until now?
"
I’d be curious in a sliding doors, kind of way, to know what a paralllel universe might have had in store. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time...
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups.
But are you sure you were actually being a scardy cat?
And are you sure it would of been fantastic/memorable?
I think things happen (or don't happen as is the case) for a reason. That reason may not be in plain sight.
Very good points - in fact is it actually regret or wondering what might have been? I'm thinking the latter in the situation I mentioned.
The reasons it didn't happen were down to circumstance and other factors at the time and were basically sound based on that moment in time so can't be regrets.
I'm also a believer in fate and the "if it was meant to be it was meant to be" mantra and elderly Aunt used to roll out when I was younger "
Too many typos in my last reply. This iPad has a mind of its own and a lazy operator. I don’t believe in fate in that sense I find it too deterministic. However like you I’m more curious, in a wistful thinking sort of way, as to what might have been... |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
I was a student in Pau in france and a female friend invited me to visit her village, we went to the local bar and met a female friend and I ended up in bed with both of them...d*unk..we didnt do anything..I lay there trying not to jab them with my boner....
God knows why I didnt suggest something...I had kind of got in the friend zone with the girl..and was slightly shy and daunted by the situation....I wish I could go back in time... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah a guy a year older than me that I used to have a snog with all the time and a cheeky finger when I was 15, then shagged him when I was 18. Started going out with my child’s father the same time and whenever we had an argument I would always go and meet the other guy. Shagged him loads of times up until I was 21 and he used to say why don’t I just go out with him. Wish I did, he’s loaded now and is still stunning, built his own huge house, loads of vans for his business, he’s got 3 cars himself including an Audi R8! He’s got a kid of his own now and a bird but I’ve still shagged him 7 times in the last 5 years, like an annual thing! |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time...
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups.
But are you sure you were actually being a scardy cat?
And are you sure it would of been fantastic/memorable?
I think things happen (or don't happen as is the case) for a reason. That reason may not be in plain sight.
I think that can be true at times, however I know there are a number of things I could have fulfilled if I’d ceased opportunities in the moment, in life in general not just sexually. My insecurities and lack of self belief and confidence was frequently the key factor in why I didn’t.
So, if you had the ability to go back, would you seize those opportunities even if you knew they could/would change how your life has played up until now?
I’d be curious in a sliding doors, kind of way, to know what a paralllel universe might have had in store."
That's interesting. I don't regret anything even when bad things happen or I don't get what I want or expect. To do so would kind of get rid of all the good things that have happened along the way. As GM said, things happen for a reason.
Also, people have said that they have turned down stuff because they lacked confidence etc. They may feel more confident and self assured now so I ask whether it would of been the same kind of experince as you imagine it to be now?
Does that make sense? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was a student in Pau in france and a female friend invited me to visit her village, we went to the local bar and met a female friend and I ended up in bed with both of them...d*unk..we didnt do anything..I lay there trying not to jab them with my boner....
God knows why I didnt suggest something...I had kind of got in the friend zone with the girl..and was slightly shy and daunted by the situation....I wish I could go back in time... "
oh yeah a time machine would be cool. However we fuck with time at our peril |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dunno. I've never turned anyone down!
I jest.
Still not sure whether I have any regrets. There must of been a reason at the time...
For sure. I’ve never regretted when there was something that put me off the person, but when it came down to me just being a scaredy cat I do wish I’d taken the plunge. Similarly there were times I wish I’d been less naive, when I have said yes. Particularly in the early days of online hookups.
But are you sure you were actually being a scardy cat?
And are you sure it would of been fantastic/memorable?
I think things happen (or don't happen as is the case) for a reason. That reason may not be in plain sight.
I think that can be true at times, however I know there are a number of things I could have fulfilled if I’d ceased opportunities in the moment, in life in general not just sexually. My insecurities and lack of self belief and confidence was frequently the key factor in why I didn’t.
So, if you had the ability to go back, would you seize those opportunities even if you knew they could/would change how your life has played up until now?
I’d be curious in a sliding doors, kind of way, to know what a paralllel universe might have had in store.
That's interesting. I don't regret anything even when bad things happen or I don't get what I want or expect. To do so would kind of get rid of all the good things that have happened along the way. As GM said, things happen for a reason.
Also, people have said that they have turned down stuff because they lacked confidence etc. They may feel more confident and self assured now so I ask whether it would of been the same kind of experince as you imagine it to be now?
Does that make sense? "
I have no idea. It’s really idle curiosity, brought about by at the age of 56 I still have so many things I’d love to do, a few of them I had opportunities to do when I was younger and didn’t take the opportunity. As for the reason can’t a lack of confidence be a reason rather some underlying hidden mysterious meaning that some universal source has cooked up? |
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I've had opportunities more recently off here, but it's more down to not necessarily being comfortable with the situation ie people being pushy, or not wanting a social. It possibly also down to self confidence and worry, but that's another thread. |
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"I was a student in Pau in france and a female friend invited me to visit her village, we went to the local bar and met a female friend and I ended up in bed with both of them...d*unk..we didnt do anything..I lay there trying not to jab them with my boner....
God knows why I didnt suggest something...I had kind of got in the friend zone with the girl..and was slightly shy and daunted by the situation....I wish I could go back in time... oh yeah a time machine would be cool. However we fuck with time at our peril "
You turned down the opportunity to fuck time!?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was a student in Pau in france and a female friend invited me to visit her village, we went to the local bar and met a female friend and I ended up in bed with both of them...d*unk..we didnt do anything..I lay there trying not to jab them with my boner....
God knows why I didnt suggest something...I had kind of got in the friend zone with the girl..and was slightly shy and daunted by the situation....I wish I could go back in time... oh yeah a time machine would be cool. However we fuck with time at our peril
You turned down the opportunity to fuck time!? "
WitchDoc not a Time Lord
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"I was a student in Pau in france and a female friend invited me to visit her village, we went to the local bar and met a female friend and I ended up in bed with both of them...d*unk..we didnt do anything..I lay there trying not to jab them with my boner....
God knows why I didnt suggest something...I had kind of got in the friend zone with the girl..and was slightly shy and daunted by the situation....I wish I could go back in time... oh yeah a time machine would be cool. However we fuck with time at our peril "
Going forward in time is apparently much easier than going back...according to mr Einstein |
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"I don’t regret any choices made, as at the time the gut reaction to say no was the right decision.
It’s good when you can trust your gut reaction. Mine is not 100% reliable."
I wouldn’t say I trust my gut it’s a decision I take based on how I feel. I don’t look backwards, so don’t tend to regret something that might have been |
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"in the past that you wish you had said yes to?
I’ll kick off with one. I was offered the opportunity of an FFM threesome by a girl I was seeing many years ago who fancied another girl I was seeing at the same time. Our relationships were non-exclusive at that point. I was too scared to get them both together and bottled it. I’ve never had another opportunity that I could act on since."
I think I can honestly say no. Sure, there have been potential situations whilst I've been in a relationship - that frisson you sometimes get with someone - but never anything I wish I'd acted on.
In terms of swinging I've always been the one to jump in feet first! Sometimes that hasn't worked out brilliantly, but I tend to have a go and see rather than hang back. So I suppose I could say the opposite to you, OP - there have been situations where in hindsight I wish I'd put the brakes on a bit. Nothing serious. Just incompatibility which becomes easier to spot the longer we live this lifestyle.
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember a really hit girl throwing herself at me in a mates house years ago. She was really d*unk at the time and I was sober. I tried to calm her down a bit but she was having none of it. She ended up walking off, calling me a poof on her way!
Should have just shagged her coz she was stunning and I've never seen her since! "
Stories like this infuriate me...guy does the decent think and gets called all sorts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't think of any particular instances...more a general feeling of wishing I'd had more confidence and self belief. At school and late teens I always thought my mates were better looking.
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Can't think of any particular instances...more a general feeling of wishing I'd had more confidence and self belief. At school and late teens I always thought my mates were better looking.
"
I sincerely suspect that was not the case |
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By *edGrayCouple
over a year ago
Swindon |
When I was in my late teens my bosses wife took a shine to me and in blatantly asked me to take her as her husband had gone off sex. I was too nervous and shit myself, so I diplomatically declined her offer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Years ago, I had a golden opportunity to fuck my ex wife's best friend at the time. But I was tired, a little d*unk, and totally nieve to her advances. Doh! |
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Missed opportunities over the years because I’ve been so shy. I work in retail and I’m fine chatting with anyone, but as soon as it feels like I’m chatting them up I retreat. I hate it.
At 16 I was told ‘You’re the ugliest person I've ever seen’
That sort of comment hangs around one's insecure brain forever. I didn’t even know the person who said it.
Welling up even now. Madness. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"in the past that you wish you had said yes to?
I’ll kick off with one. I was offered the opportunity of an FFM threesome by a girl I was seeing many years ago who fancied another girl I was seeing at the same time. Our relationships were non-exclusive at that point. I was too scared to get them both together and bottled it. I’ve never had another opportunity that I could act on since.
I think I can honestly say no. Sure, there have been potential situations whilst I've been in a relationship - that frisson you sometimes get with someone - but never anything I wish I'd acted on.
In terms of swinging I've always been the one to jump in feet first! Sometimes that hasn't worked out brilliantly, but I tend to have a go and see rather than hang back. So I suppose I could say the opposite to you, OP - there have been situations where in hindsight I wish I'd put the brakes on a bit. Nothing serious. Just incompatibility which becomes easier to spot the longer we live this lifestyle.
Mrs TMN x"
When I was younger in business situations that’s exactly how I learned and grew, by throwing myself in head first and learning on the way. I got burnt a few times but learned quickly. However I think because of my upbringing sexually I was much more reticent despite experimenting quite a bit early on. I quickly put a lid on things. During the time I could have developed sexually I didn’t. I’m making up for lost time now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I remember a really hit girl throwing herself at me in a mates house years ago. She was really d*unk at the time and I was sober. I tried to calm her down a bit but she was having none of it. She ended up walking off, calling me a poof on her way!
Should have just shagged her coz she was stunning and I've never seen her since!
Stories like this infuriate me...guy does the decent think and gets called all sorts."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can't think of any particular instances...more a general feeling of wishing I'd had more confidence and self belief. At school and late teens I always thought my mates were better looking.
"
I remember thinking that about their cocks being bigger |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I was in my late teens my bosses wife took a shine to me and in blatantly asked me to take her as her husband had gone off sex. I was too nervous and shit myself, so I diplomatically declined her offer. "
That may well have been a very good decision . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Years ago, I had a golden opportunity to fuck my ex wife's best friend at the time. But I was tired, a little d*unk, and totally nieve to her advances. Doh! "
I nearly did that too, so glad I didn’t
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I turned down several offers from women when I was younger, now wishing I hadn't as its not easy to find women that admit they like other women  "
Yes bisexuality was a thing I didn’t embrace until my 50s. Another thing that would have led in a totally different direction had I realised earlier rather than denying it. |
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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago
near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in |
Yes  couldn't get their becauae of work !!!! I explained it might not ne a 100% meet , they seemed ok with this , when I tiled them I had to work an extra hour , I was blocked !!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Missed opportunities over the years because I’ve been so shy. I work in retail and I’m fine chatting with anyone, but as soon as it feels like I’m chatting them up I retreat. I hate it.
At 16 I was told ‘You’re the ugliest person I've ever seen’
That sort of comment hangs around one's insecure brain forever. I didn’t even know the person who said it.
Welling up even now. Madness. "
That shit can be so cruel. I never received an insult as bad as that but the ones I did receive when younger certainly knocked my confidence sexually. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes couldn't get their becauae of work !!!! I explained it might not ne a 100% meet , they seemed ok with this , when I tiled them I had to work an extra hour , I was blocked !!! "
that may well have been a lucky escape. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I was speaking to a woman on here. Really nice and we got along great and same intrests but I had to turn her down. She sent a face pic and I just wasn’t attracted to them. It didn’t seem right to meet up if there wasn’t a physical attraction. Was a shame though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went on a girly weekend and was given a “free pass” by my then partner.
I had 3 opportunities to indulge on the weekend but I stayed faithful as I believed we were in a committed relationship (and had been for 5 years). Big mistake!
I later discovered my then partner was seeing 5 other women.
|
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When I was much younger I turned down two girls who wanted me to take their virginity. They both thought that I would be a great lover. I told them that it should be special and find someone who they love and loves them..
No regrets.. |
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S and I have been together since we were 17 & 18 respectively. We had an exclusive relationship until the back end of last year and we dipped our toes into this lifestyle. We have no idea what we might have missed along the way, because neither of us was looking! It wasn't until I set eyes on a guy who joined my wheelchair basketball team..... |
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"Missed opportunities over the years because I’ve been so shy. I work in retail and I’m fine chatting with anyone, but as soon as it feels like I’m chatting them up I retreat. I hate it.
At 16 I was told ‘You’re the ugliest person I've ever seen’
That sort of comment hangs around one's insecure brain forever. I didn’t even know the person who said it.
Welling up even now. Madness. "
I feel this. This has been me too. |
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To spin it round. I once had an opportunity to go with my friend into a darkroom at a club. I went in and couldn’t see a thing. I had no idea who was in there or who was touching who. I’m glad I beat a hasty retreat and left them to it. lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes....got a response from a couple on here a while back..Mrs looked like great fun...and to top it off, they were v close...backed out as they wanted sex without protection ....... just couldn’t bring myself to go in without protection.
Still uncertain on whether I would go ahead if a similar proposal was offered. |
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"Missed opportunities over the years because I’ve been so shy. I work in retail and I’m fine chatting with anyone, but as soon as it feels like I’m chatting them up I retreat. I hate it.
At 16 I was told ‘You’re the ugliest person I've ever seen’
That sort of comment hangs around one's insecure brain forever. I didn’t even know the person who said it.
Welling up even now. Madness.
I feel this. This has been me too."
Thank you for commenting.
And look how gorgeous we both are!!!! |
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"Missed opportunities over the years because I’ve been so shy. I work in retail and I’m fine chatting with anyone, but as soon as it feels like I’m chatting them up I retreat. I hate it.
At 16 I was told ‘You’re the ugliest person I've ever seen’
That sort of comment hangs around one's insecure brain forever. I didn’t even know the person who said it.
Welling up even now. Madness.
I feel this. This has been me too.
Thank you for commenting.
And look how gorgeous we both are!!!!"
What doesn't kill us can certainly help us blossom, sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah I was speaking to a woman on here. Really nice and we got along great and same intrests but I had to turn her down. She sent a face pic and I just wasn’t attracted to them. It didn’t seem right to meet up if there wasn’t a physical attraction. Was a shame though"
That sounds like the right decision too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I went on a girly weekend and was given a “free pass” by my then partner.
I had 3 opportunities to indulge on the weekend but I stayed faithful as I believed we were in a committed relationship (and had been for 5 years). Big mistake!
I later discovered my then partner was seeing 5 other women.
"
The Free pass offer maybe the real opportunity missed here in understanding why he was willing to give you a Free pass. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I was much younger I turned down two girls who wanted me to take their virginity. They both thought that I would be a great lover. I told them that it should be special and find someone who they love and loves them..
No regrets.. "
Honorable Tom |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"S and I have been together since we were 17 & 18 respectively. We had an exclusive relationship until the back end of last year and we dipped our toes into this lifestyle. We have no idea what we might have missed along the way, because neither of us was looking! It wasn't until I set eyes on a guy who joined my wheelchair basketball team..... "
Ah a sudden awakening |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To spin it round. I once had an opportunity to go with my friend into a darkroom at a club. I went in and couldn’t see a thing. I had no idea who was in there or who was touching who. I’m glad I beat a hasty retreat and left them to it. lol. "
I don’t fancy a dark room with strangers either. I can just see you doing a Ross Kemp running escape ‘....so I got out of there!’ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes....got a response from a couple on here a while back..Mrs looked like great fun...and to top it off, they were v close...backed out as they wanted sex without protection ....... just couldn’t bring myself to go in without protection.
Still uncertain on whether I would go ahead if a similar proposal was offered."
Probably wise given the circumstances |
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"in the past that you wish you had said yes to?
I’ll kick off with one. I was offered the opportunity of an FFM threesome by a girl I was seeing many years ago who fancied another girl I was seeing at the same time. Our relationships were non-exclusive at that point. I was too scared to get them both together and bottled it. I’ve never had another opportunity that I could act on since.
I think I can honestly say no. Sure, there have been potential situations whilst I've been in a relationship - that frisson you sometimes get with someone - but never anything I wish I'd acted on.
In terms of swinging I've always been the one to jump in feet first! Sometimes that hasn't worked out brilliantly, but I tend to have a go and see rather than hang back. So I suppose I could say the opposite to you, OP - there have been situations where in hindsight I wish I'd put the brakes on a bit. Nothing serious. Just incompatibility which becomes easier to spot the longer we live this lifestyle.
Mrs TMN x
When I was younger in business situations that’s exactly how I learned and grew, by throwing myself in head first and learning on the way. I got burnt a few times but learned quickly. However I think because of my upbringing sexually I was much more reticent despite experimenting quite a bit early on. I quickly put a lid on things. During the time I could have developed sexually I didn’t. I’m making up for lost time now."
That's interesting, and it's made me think - I'm really only like that in sexual situations. In the rest of my life I'm very cautious, a planner rather than a spur of the moment person. But I'm very much a "seize the moment" person in a sexual situation. Mr says he loves seeing me like that - in my element, totally at ease, yet in control. I wonder if it's because I'm going with my instincts rather than overthinking things?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was one in particular I still regret 20 years on.
Twenty years ago, when I was 21, I bumped into a girl from school who I hadn't seen for 5 years. She was the only one I ever had a huge crush on - a very small redhead with small breasts and a constant curious smirk (think of the type Priti Patel always has).
She told me she used to like me at school too, and we shared a taxi home, and it was a certainty I could've taken her in and slept with her.
But I didn't. It's because I knew of her boyfriend. He'd been in some kind of car accident, and was wearing a type of cage thing on his head to reset his broken neck, or something like that. It wasn't good. Turning her down was a moral thing, as I've always felt loyalty to other men. So she gave me her number and carried on home. I never rang her, and never saw her again.
The saddest thing is, since then, I've learnt men don't have any loyalty to each other when women and sex are concerned, none at all  and thinking about it, had the roles been reversed, he wouldn't have even thought twice, and just done it, probably several times. |
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Quite a few when I was younger, if I had my eye on a girl I really liked I'd turn others down who were after me as I thought if I slept with them I'd end up getting trapped in a relationship with them when really I wanted someone else. Missed opportunities with a few hot girls through doing that! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"in the past that you wish you had said yes to?
I’ll kick off with one. I was offered the opportunity of an FFM threesome by a girl I was seeing many years ago who fancied another girl I was seeing at the same time. Our relationships were non-exclusive at that point. I was too scared to get them both together and bottled it. I’ve never had another opportunity that I could act on since.
I think I can honestly say no. Sure, there have been potential situations whilst I've been in a relationship - that frisson you sometimes get with someone - but never anything I wish I'd acted on.
In terms of swinging I've always been the one to jump in feet first! Sometimes that hasn't worked out brilliantly, but I tend to have a go and see rather than hang back. So I suppose I could say the opposite to you, OP - there have been situations where in hindsight I wish I'd put the brakes on a bit. Nothing serious. Just incompatibility which becomes easier to spot the longer we live this lifestyle.
Mrs TMN x
When I was younger in business situations that’s exactly how I learned and grew, by throwing myself in head first and learning on the way. I got burnt a few times but learned quickly. However I think because of my upbringing sexually I was much more reticent despite experimenting quite a bit early on. I quickly put a lid on things. During the time I could have developed sexually I didn’t. I’m making up for lost time now.
That's interesting, and it's made me think - I'm really only like that in sexual situations. In the rest of my life I'm very cautious, a planner rather than a spur of the moment person. But I'm very much a "seize the moment" person in a sexual situation. Mr says he loves seeing me like that - in my element, totally at ease, yet in control. I wonder if it's because I'm going with my instincts rather than overthinking things?
"
That sounds about right. Isn’t it interesting how opposites within our personality can determine our action sexually or professionally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was a guy who really wanted to meet me, and we were chatting with the intention of meeting, but I met Inked and so turned him down. Kept telling me how well endowed he was, how he’d worship me and make me feel like no other man could. Isn’t that what everyone says? Haha.
Do I regret it? No, as if it was meant to be we would have made it happen, but we didn’t and I wouldn’t be disloyal to Inked by sneaking about behind his back. So that was that x
Viv xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There was one in particular I still regret 20 years on.
Twenty years ago, when I was 21, I bumped into a girl from school who I hadn't seen for 5 years. She was the only one I ever had a huge crush on - a very small redhead with small breasts and a constant curious smirk (think of the type Priti Patel always has).
She told me she used to like me at school too, and we shared a taxi home, and it was a certainty I could've taken her in and slept with her.
But I didn't. It's because I knew of her boyfriend. He'd been in some kind of car accident, and was wearing a type of cage thing on his head to reset his broken neck, or something like that. It wasn't good. Turning her down was a moral thing, as I've always felt loyalty to other men. So she gave me her number and carried on home. I never rang her, and never saw her again.
The saddest thing is, since then, I've learnt men don't have any loyalty to each other when women and sex are concerned, none at all and thinking about it, had the roles been reversed, he wouldn't have even thought twice, and just done it, probably several times. "
I think you probably sleep easier having done that though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Quite a few when I was younger, if I had my eye on a girl I really liked I'd turn others down who were after me as I thought if I slept with them I'd end up getting trapped in a relationship with them when really I wanted someone else. Missed opportunities with a few hot girls through doing that!"
Yep our young minds worked in strange ways at times |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes.
But I cant go back and change it.
I still think of one more recently that I did meet, but,
I can't change that either "
No, for sure we do have to accept the things we cannot change no matter how much we would love it to be different, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There was a guy who really wanted to meet me, and we were chatting with the intention of meeting, but I met Inked and so turned him down. Kept telling me how well endowed he was, how he’d worship me and make me feel like no other man could. Isn’t that what everyone says? Haha.
Do I regret it? No, as if it was meant to be we would have made it happen, but we didn’t and I wouldn’t be disloyal to Inked by sneaking about behind his back. So that was that x
Viv xx"
again sounds like you made a wise decision. |
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