FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Replying to messages

Replying to messages

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I need advice please.

I keep getting messages off men after Ive put a pic up. If I reply and say thankyou they messaged again sending pics of themselves. If I read but ignore them I get abuse. If I delete the messages I get abuse. I have been replying with a" Thankyou, just not for me sorry" then block but I hate blocking.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. "

Just ignore them.. I have had loads today.. Ignore most..

Block if they are rude.. no need for that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Prevent people from messaging you when you put a pic up, then relax your filters again once it's been up for a while.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You’ll never keep up with messages.

Reply to those you’re interested in and just delete the ones you’re not. If they double message after you’ve deleted then you block.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elshkinkyMan over a year ago

south wales

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. "

Some Men are dickheads ...block and try not to worry about it x just shows you’re a nice person

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. "

Sadly don't reply unless you want to take it further or a polite thank you then block

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tricky this one..most respectable guys will take polite no and leave you alone. But you get the minority that cant accept a no I'm.afraid

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ulfilthmentMan over a year ago

Just around the corner

I’m never rude, and an adult enough to accept a ‘thanks, but no thanks’. Am I doing Fab wrong?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Just ignore them.. I have had loads today.. Ignore most..

Block if they are rude.. no need for that "

I put up pics last week, loads of messages and I couldnt'nt reply to say thanks. 7 of them messaged me abuse

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ensualtouch15Man over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. "

Learn not to hate blocking x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle."

This.

You will save yourself time and energy.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle."

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with posters above, there’s no harm in ignoring. You actually don’t owe these people anything. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X"

Mark as unread? After reading them when they are offline..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewrocksWoman over a year ago

button moon

Nothing wrong with blocking. It's not rude, it's a site tool.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If they cannot take a polite " no thank you " then block and dont give it a second thought, they were obviously the kind of person you'd of never met anyway .

Nice pictures.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elshkinkyMan over a year ago

south wales

"Nothing wrong with blocking. It's not rude, it's a site tool. "

There’s a few site tools to be fair...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hitehunter4bbcMan over a year ago

Bristol

"Nothing wrong with blocking. It's not rude, it's a site tool. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X"

I know. I get less grief not replying than replying, though.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I agree with posters above, there’s no harm in ignoring. You actually don’t owe these people anything. X"

Agree with this. A couple sent us a face pic today without us asking, I said thanks. Then they questioned whether we were sending one back.

Unfortunately people have differing expectations when it comes to replying. No need to try and meet those of people you're not interested in.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You’ll never keep up with messages.

Reply to those you’re interested in and just delete the ones you’re not. If they double message after you’ve deleted then you block. "

I think that's a good idea, I feel guilty when even the ones I'm not interested in are polite so I just send a basic Thankyou. Thats all it takes and I get loads of pics of them then thinking im interested

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hitehunter4bbcMan over a year ago

Bristol

"You’ll never keep up with messages.

Reply to those you’re interested in and just delete the ones you’re not. If they double message after you’ve deleted then you block.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have this quite often too, I have a line in my profile that states if I don’t reply I may not be attracted to you. This helped me to feel less horrible for ignoring people. But I still try to always say thank you then block if they don’t take a hint. I’m with you and don’t like doing it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Prevent people from messaging you when you put a pic up, then relax your filters again once it's been up for a while. "

My filters are now on as put a few pics up earlier. I started worrying as just didn't know how to deal with them all xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

Mark as unread? After reading them when they are offline.."

This is what I do

then have a mass delete every now and again, just can’t be arsed with abuse/blocking!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Some Men are dickheads ...block and try not to worry about it x just shows you’re a nice person "

My friends always trying to harden me up. Im too soft lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I agree with posters above, there’s no harm in ignoring. You actually don’t owe these people anything. X

Agree with this. A couple sent us a face pic today without us asking, I said thanks. Then they questioned whether we were sending one back.

Unfortunately people have differing expectations when it comes to replying. No need to try and meet those of people you're not interested in. "

It’s a weird entitlement. Especially on the internet it’s really weird.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

Mark as unread? After reading them when they are offline..

This is what I do

then have a mass delete every now and again, just can’t be arsed with abuse/blocking!"

I'm not ashamed.

Will always thrive to make my life easier. Especially online part of it which is meant to be fun not a chore.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You’ll never keep up with messages.

Reply to those you’re interested in and just delete the ones you’re not. If they double message after you’ve deleted then you block.

Normal rules of politeness are unworkable here because it takes all parties to make it work. Don't be actively rude, and defend yourself above all else.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abonWoman over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

Yes...I feel exactly the same as you OP...I have updated my profile just today to explain how I feel about this...now I feel at peace with myself just deleting messages, read or unread - I’ve explained my point of view. Now...if they ignore my point of view, that’s another matter!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ings66Man over a year ago

Bristol

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. "

Just look at the pic I have fab and match with the below

1, Is the the right colour for me fits nice.

2, what I do wrong when putting on my makeup this morning.

Now for the rant from you if you want send it PM

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Sadly don't reply unless you want to take it further or a polite thank you then block"

Thsts what I tried but as soon as I delete messages I get abuse back saying a "no thanks would have been polite, and I must be so up my own arse to reply" . Its horrible. Some days im actually uncomfortable opening up messages. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abasaurus RexMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Sadly don't reply unless you want to take it further or a polite thank you then block

You shouldn’t have to, but you’ll probably need to develop a thicker skin. Lots of guys can’t handle rejection.

Don’t sweat it, you’re not being rude, it’s just the way fab works. Keep deleting and hit block if they’re being rude.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abonWoman over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

It’s hard to reconcile the ‘just delete’ mindset with the support people get to craft their profiles. And though blocking is a site tool, many people do feel it’s uncomfortable or harsh...most of the clumsy messages are still appreciative, and that’s why we post our pics, isn’t it?!

If only people would just fab the pic to show appreciation, and read profiles before messaging...solved!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Tricky this one..most respectable guys will take polite no and leave you alone. But you get the minority that cant accept a no I'm.afraid"

And this isvwhats happening. Some comments on my pics are lovely. I like to say thankyou. I tried "Thankyou just not fir me sorry" and they message back saying they werent asking to meet but messaged soley to compliment my pics. Again I cant win

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Tricky this one..most respectable guys will take polite no and leave you alone. But you get the minority that cant accept a no I'm.afraid

You win by not trying. Honestly. I've been where you are.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Learn not to hate blocking x"

I feel guilty as hell. Today ive commented on 2 threads only to find out I've blocked these men who eerenthe OPs. They seem so nice but not for me. At this rate id have blocked half of Fab

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You're not slapping anyone in the face, you're protecting yourself from hatred. They need to learn it isn't personal because we do get a lot of crap. It's just the way it goes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

This.

You will save yourself time and energy.

And definitely worry, its why ive done the thread. These men think they are the only ones who have messaged me especially by their abusive replies.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I agree with posters above, there’s no harm in ignoring. You actually don’t owe these people anything. X"

Think its something I will have to start doing

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

This.

You will save yourself time and energy.

And definitely worry, its why ive done the thread. These men think they are the only ones who have messaged me especially by their abusive replies.

They don't know or care. They just want what they want. They don't deserve the dignity.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

Mark as unread? After reading them when they are offline.."

Ive done this, then delete. Im abit OCD with my inbox. I have to delete what ive read. Its drives me crazy and I get mudfled otherwise lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxychicWoman over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

Mark unread and delete the abusive ones

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nothing wrong with blocking. It's not rude, it's a site tool. "

My block list is long. Some men are polite and I feel terrible ive blocked then

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ings66Man over a year ago

Bristol

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

This.

You will save yourself time and energy.

And definitely worry, its why ive done the thread. These men think they are the only ones who have messaged me especially by their abusive replies.

They don't know or care. They just want what they want. They don't deserve the dignity."

I know what I want and I bet you do FISH AND CHIPS.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

I know. I get less grief not replying than replying, though."

I will ignore from now on. The main problem is when I delete them. Thsts when I get called all sorts

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

I know. I get less grief not replying than replying, though.

I will ignore from now on. The main problem is when I delete them. Thsts when I get called all sorts

If it's really frequent, just block them at the same time you delete the message,tgen they can't reply at all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have this quite often too, I have a line in my profile that states if I don’t reply I may not be attracted to you. This helped me to feel less horrible for ignoring people. But I still try to always say thank you then block if they don’t take a hint. I’m with you and don’t like doing it.

Ive had the exact same thing written on my profile, most sadly dont read it. I tend to open messages if theres a paper clip attached. I always reply with a no thankyou and block. My block list is huge. Im getting a webcam next week for here, there be noone on it as they all be blocked lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve never been rude to anyone and get blocked regardless. I’m sure we’re old enough and ugly enough to take it on the chin and move on.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If they cannot take a polite " no thank you " then block and dont give it a second thought, they were obviously the kind of person you'd of never met anyway .

Nice pictures.

Its when they message back a second I get all their body parts or abuse.

Last week I replied to the 2nd message stating I wasnt interested but just wanted to say thankyou. I was told im stuck up my own arse and he called me a c--t then blocked me

Thankyou lovely

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

I just delete them. I used to say thank you when people complimented my pics, or messaged about a status update. But they usually took it as a sign of interest and would want to keep talking, then would start making sexual comments. They’d friend request because we’re talking so it must be fine. Etc etc. I learned the hard way that the only sensible option is delete them, and then block if they get shitty about it. Basically even if they’re saying something nice, if they haven’t read my profile or aren’t what I’m looking for, they just get deleted.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

Mark as unread? After reading them when they are offline..

This is what I do

then have a mass delete every now and again, just can’t be arsed with abuse/blocking!"

Im happy to do this if they dont message me askinh why I deleted their message

Sometimes wish Fab didnt show this feature. It has positive but negative too sadly x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *nimaginativeUsernameMan over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

If you feel bad about ignoring/deleting/blocking, then it shows you’re a nice considerate person.

I like to think I’m level-headed enough to realise a no-reply (etc) means I’m not what that person is looking for, so that’s fine.

Likewise, if they become childish or abusive towards you, it proves you were absolutely right to ignore them in the first place.

Don’t worry about them. Just stay nice.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m never rude, and an adult enough to accept a ‘thanks, but no thanks’. Am I doing Fab wrong? "

Some except this and are nice some are really not x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ings66Man over a year ago

Bristol

"If they cannot take a polite " no thank you " then block and dont give it a second thought, they were obviously the kind of person you'd of never met anyway .

Nice pictures.

Its when they message back a second I get all their body parts or abuse.

Last week I replied to the 2nd message stating I wasnt interested but just wanted to say thankyou. I was told im stuck up my own arse and he called me a c--t then blocked me

Thankyou lovely

Look I am ugly old get i respect all so give me your best rant I can take it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're not slapping anyone in the face, you're protecting yourself from hatred. They need to learn it isn't personal because we do get a lot of crap. It's just the way it goes."

Also on the internet you aren’t obligated to reply to people you’re not interested in or that you don’t know. I don’t think you are in real life either but hey. Getting abusive is v scary response imo. And as suggested, it’s self care to protect yourself from that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *artinbobMan over a year ago

Leicester

Why don’t some guys just get theirs no reason to be a dick ffs

it doesn’t take a genius to work out with the ratio of men to women on here then be nice. Be kind. You’ll stand more chance of doing ok

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

Mark as unread? After reading them when they are offline..

This is what I do

then have a mass delete every now and again, just can’t be arsed with abuse/blocking!

I'm not ashamed.

Will always thrive to make my life easier. Especially online part of it which is meant to be fun not a chore. "

I need to make mine easier for definite lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You do realise that if you reply, then even if you filter men out after this, they can continue to message you? Whereas, if you dont reply, and block men for a bit, they cant?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You do realise that if you reply, then even if you filter men out after this, they can continue to message you? Whereas, if you dont reply, and block men for a bit, they cant?"

We found this out the hard way! We have the odd one or two that slip through now and again

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Sadly don't reply unless you want to take it further or a polite thank you then block

You shouldn’t have to, but you’ll probably need to develop a thicker skin. Lots of guys can’t handle rejection.

Don’t sweat it, you’re not being rude, it’s just the way fab works. Keep deleting and hit block if they’re being rude. "

I totally agree, I literally feel my heart rate going super gast when I have abusive messages. I struggled and sometimes for days. Even taken breaks. I do enjoy fab so really need to toughen up. My hubby laughs when I say I wish I was a Narcissist, id survive easily then lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve had the same. Today I’ve had 5 abusive messages plus 3 have messaged more than 3 times because I didn’t respond.

I try and be polite and I also try not to take the abuse to heart but sometimes it’s difficult not to.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You’ll never keep up with messages.

Reply to those you’re interested in and just delete the ones you’re not. If they double message after you’ve deleted then you block.

Normal rules of politeness are unworkable here because it takes all parties to make it work. Don't be actively rude, and defend yourself above all else."

Thankyou lovely x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My first message is always very respectful and polite, I never include a Cock Pic in and introduction and ensure I’ve read the profile first before even sending. I’ll happily take a polite no thanks but totally understand ladies especially get loads of messages every day and it’s not always possible. What I can’t abide is Pic Hunters, Friend Requests from people I’ve not spoken to to & males pretending to be couples !!!! We are all here to have some fun (hopefully) unfortunately the dick heads spoil it for the genuine ones.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I ignore or block repeated messages. I only reply to the ones i want to reply to. End of. Their problem. Not yours

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes...I feel exactly the same as you OP...I have updated my profile just today to explain how I feel about this...now I feel at peace with myself just deleting messages, read or unread - I’ve explained my point of view. Now...if they ignore my point of view, that’s another matter!"

I think I'll need a total profile revamp. Im too much info on there so by tonight I will have updated it with clear information

Most dont read it but I will feel better xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve had the same. Today I’ve had 5 abusive messages plus 3 have messaged more than 3 times because I didn’t respond.

I try and be polite and I also try not to take the abuse to heart but sometimes it’s difficult not to."

And while I was writing this I had a message calling me a ‘prize twat’ simply for not replying to them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's really difficult. I used to be much harsher with the block button but I've softened a bit.

However if someone is abusive then I block. If someone is pestering me I block. Some people just do not get the message.

If someone just wants to chat, which at the moment may be the case then I may do that.

Ultimately only you know who you want to contact you. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *artyanna16200TV/TS over a year ago

leeds

Dont take the abuse personally , report and block, not your issue , purely the misogynist to blame for that ! Pics you post are yours for your pleasure and those you decide are worth your trust , fuck the rest ! Stay well , regards and best wishes ,T x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable. "

Thankyou lovely. Shame most probably haven't been on the forums. I think they would have an idea then how they were actually acting xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You're not slapping anyone in the face, you're protecting yourself from hatred. They need to learn it isn't personal because we do get a lot of crap. It's just the way it goes."

Its definitely what I have to do. I leave myself open to much. Im far to soft xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I was probably softer than you when I started. These days the majority of the abuse makes me laugh. I still block them, but it's funny the crap they come out with.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable.

Thankyou lovely. Shame most probably haven't been on the forums. I think they would have an idea then how they were actually acting xx"

I try to work from one main rule - would I like that said to a friend of mine?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

This.

You will save yourself time and energy.

And definitely worry, its why ive done the thread. These men think they are the only ones who have messaged me especially by their abusive replies.

They don't know or care. They just want what they want. They don't deserve the dignity."

Thats very true lovely xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Mark unread and delete the abusive ones "

I judt hate getting abuse in the first place do I was blocking everyone that wasnt for me. I hate blocking tbh x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

I get grief for opening messages and not opening them tbh. X

I know. I get less grief not replying than replying, though.

I will ignore from now on. The main problem is when I delete them. Thsts when I get called all sorts

If it's really frequent, just block them at the same time you delete the message,tgen they can't reply at all. "

Just worried at this rate there wont be many men left lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *xXgemmaXxXCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

Yeah it can be a horrible feeling getting abusive messages

I have had quite a few and it does get to you. I had a guy message to compliment me on my photos but when I replied with a polite thanks but not my type I then got another one telling me it was no great loss and I had my head up my fat arse

also has one suggesting I must have been abused as a child because I’m interested in black men

Just try to ignore and delete and block if repeat messagers and be safe in the knowledge that you’re a decent person and it’s their problem

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hide your profile and you do the messaging first bit..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Don't reply to those who you have no interest in. You can also use message filters to block a whole group of people too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve never been rude to anyone and get blocked regardless. I’m sure we’re old enough and ugly enough to take it on the chin and move on. "

I block for one reason. Im afraid to receive nasty messages back. Some are beyond awful. Ive reported a few . Be nice to know they had been dealt with x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I just delete them. I used to say thank you when people complimented my pics, or messaged about a status update. But they usually took it as a sign of interest and would want to keep talking, then would start making sexual comments. They’d friend request because we’re talking so it must be fine. Etc etc. I learned the hard way that the only sensible option is delete them, and then block if they get shitty about it. Basically even if they’re saying something nice, if they haven’t read my profile or aren’t what I’m looking for, they just get deleted. "

This is so spot on lovely. Im even weary these days of the updates I put up. I dont want them attracting the wrong people xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you feel bad about ignoring/deleting/blocking, then it shows you’re a nice considerate person.

I like to think I’m level-headed enough to realise a no-reply (etc) means I’m not what that person is looking for, so that’s fine.

Likewise, if they become childish or abusive towards you, it proves you were absolutely right to ignore them in the first place.

Don’t worry about them. Just stay nice. "

Thankyou lovely for saying that. Xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You're not slapping anyone in the face, you're protecting yourself from hatred. They need to learn it isn't personal because we do get a lot of crap. It's just the way it goes.

I hate abuse honesty sometimes I feel sick to my stomach . Then some days its absolutely amazing on here x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve had the same. Today I’ve had 5 abusive messages plus 3 have messaged more than 3 times because I didn’t respond.

I try and be polite and I also try not to take the abuse to heart but sometimes it’s difficult not to.

And while I was writing this I had a message calling me a ‘prize twat’ simply for not replying to them

I block after 3 or 4 messages without response.

I also dont respond to junk mail that comes through my letter box I simply bin it, unless it's of interest. Try and think of your inbox that way.

Or block All men and message them instead, be pro active!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ire_thornMan over a year ago

no comment

OP. I'd say you're handling it fairly well. There is no need for abuse because they're not getting what they want. That's childish. I I'll send a message and get a thanks or thank you. Maybe read maybe just deleted... Oh well but never have I been a jerk about it. Now if I were to say something nicr and the respondent was just absolutely rude for no reason.. And to be clear "just not for me" isnt rude at all... I might clap back with something snarky.. But not for the things you've listed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why don’t some guys just get theirs no reason to be a dick ffs

it doesn’t take a genius to work out with the ratio of men to women on here then be nice. Be kind. You’ll stand more chance of doing ok "

They think they are the only one messaging so think I should 100% reply to their messahes sadly xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *erdyWoman over a year ago

wiltshire

Being polite doesn't work with so many. They just keep messaging. Just block. Don't feel bad. You are here for yourself not others.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dont take the abuse personally , report and block, not your issue , purely the misogynist to blame for that ! Pics you post are yours for your pleasure and those you decide are worth your trust , fuck the rest ! Stay well , regards and best wishes ,T x"

Awww thankyou lovely

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I was probably softer than you when I started. These days the majority of the abuse makes me laugh. I still block them, but it's funny the crap they come out with."

I look forward to thst day sometimes I see red tbh, If im not blocked they get a good response off me. Then I block lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pink, it's a shame you've had to go through this. I always think a simple fab of the pic would do.

Love your feet pics! X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You do realise that if you reply, then even if you filter men out after this, they can continue to message you? Whereas, if you dont reply, and block men for a bit, they cant?"

I now know blocking is the only solution. I feel awful though but its got to be done x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply to those who you have no interest in. You can also use message filters to block a whole group of people too. "

My filters ate quite a high ahe range where youd think mote maturity. Sadly its the opposite. I need to allow younger I think lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *harliebbwWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

I reply to most i get as well. as long as it is a polite message that I can write a reply to. if people are seeming to copy and past they get deleted as well as people who show they havent read my profile. aka can I pop round now. just have to grow a thicker skin x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply to the ones you find interesting or fancy, then ignore the rest, if get arsy there's the block button

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve had the same. Today I’ve had 5 abusive messages plus 3 have messaged more than 3 times because I didn’t respond.

I try and be polite and I also try not to take the abuse to heart but sometimes it’s difficult not to.

And while I was writing this I had a message calling me a ‘prize twat’ simply for not replying to them

I block after 3 or 4 messages without response.

I also dont respond to junk mail that comes through my letter box I simply bin it, unless it's of interest. Try and think of your inbox that way.

Or block All men and message them instead, be pro active!!"

I so wish I was brave enough to message first lol

I think abuse is easier then rejection for me lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Pink, it's a shame you've had to go through this. I always think a simple fab of the pic would do.

Love your feet pics! X"

Thankyou lovely and for liking my feet pics.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ire_thornMan over a year ago

no comment

"I’ve had the same. Today I’ve had 5 abusive messages plus 3 have messaged more than 3 times because I didn’t respond.

I try and be polite and I also try not to take the abuse to heart but sometimes it’s difficult not to.

And while I was writing this I had a message calling me a ‘prize twat’ simply for not replying to them

I block after 3 or 4 messages without response.

I also dont respond to junk mail that comes through my letter box I simply bin it, unless it's of interest. Try and think of your inbox that way.

Or block All men and message them instead, be pro active!!

I so wish I was brave enough to message first lol

I think abuse is easier then rejection for me lol"

You can try with me first.. Ill try my hardest to be polite and not creeped out....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Reply to the ones you find interesting or fancy, then ignore the rest, if get arsy there's the block button"

Think Its easier to block right away now . Its the abuse I dont like xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I reply to most i get as well. as long as it is a polite message that I can write a reply to. if people are seeming to copy and past they get deleted as well as people who show they havent read my profile. aka can I pop round now. just have to grow a thicker skin x "

I like daying thankyou, but they then think im interested. I then have to say no thankyou

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't reply unless you might be interested. It's not worth the hassle.

This.

You will save yourself time and energy.

And definitely worry, its why ive done the thread. These men think they are the only ones who have messaged me especially by their abusive replies.

They don't know or care. They just want what they want. They don't deserve the dignity.

I know what I want and I bet you do FISH AND CHIPS.

That went over my head sorry?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eachesAndCream99Couple over a year ago

Outskirts of Cardiff just off the M4

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. "

The Mr just seems to block anyone that even looks my way, it’s like he wants to keep me to himself...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just ignore my messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I just ignore my messages. "

Ive tried lol I get responses to their first message then which isn't polite x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

The Mr just seems to block anyone that even looks my way, it’s like he wants to keep me to himself...

Yeh yeh lol your both mine on the dance floor at the next social lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve had the same. Today I’ve had 5 abusive messages plus 3 have messaged more than 3 times because I didn’t respond.

I try and be polite and I also try not to take the abuse to heart but sometimes it’s difficult not to.

And while I was writing this I had a message calling me a ‘prize twat’ simply for not replying to them

I block after 3 or 4 messages without response.

I also dont respond to junk mail that comes through my letter box I simply bin it, unless it's of interest. Try and think of your inbox that way.

Or block All men and message them instead, be pro active!!

I so wish I was brave enough to message first lol

I think abuse is easier then rejection for me lol

You can try with me first.. Ill try my hardest to be polite and not creeped out....

Lol thankyou. Lets swap jewels in our butt blugs. I want your pink one and you can have my blue one lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know what you mean when it comes to messages. I get tons of messages from women...well, about 2 every 6 months

But seriously. The only strategy you can employ is what's already been said; read the ones you want to/can read and delete the others. If anything negative comes back from those you've deleted, then it's your prerogative to block.

If you reply politely, as I know you do, and then you get unsolicited pics, again the ball is in your court. If you want to reply because you kinda like 'em, you can. If not you don't have too. If they come back with abuse...block. OR you can direct them on to me and I'll tell them to f*CK off!!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Being polite doesn't work with so many. They just keep messaging. Just block. Don't feel bad. You are here for yourself not others. "

Very true, I try to be polite with everyone. I really do worry im blocking far to many

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I know what you mean when it comes to messages. I get tons of messages from women...well, about 2 every 6 months

You are officially my night in shining armour. Lets get married shall we? If you reject me im blocking you lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *harliebbwWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

I like daying thankyou, but they then think im interested. I then have to say no thankyou

there is no right or wrong way x only the way that works for you x so do what you are happy with. or try changing things till your happy. maybe a thanks with a let down in the same message x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thankyou to every single person that replied. Ive tried to reply to you all. Hope ive not missed any.

Going to update my profile now to make it a little clearer to those who message xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Just look at the pic I have fab and match with the below

1, Is the the right colour for me fits nice.

2, what I do wrong when putting on my makeup this morning.

Now for the rant from you if you want send it PM

Sorry I dont understand your reply lovely x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I like daying thankyou, but they then think im interested. I then have to say no thankyou

there is no right or wrong way x only the way that works for you x so do what you are happy with. or try changing things till your happy. maybe a thanks with a let down in the same message x "

I always say thanks woth a polite let down

It mostly doesnt go down well xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thankyou to every single person that replied. Ive tried to reply to you all. Hope ive not missed any.

Going to update my profile now to make it a little clearer to those who message xx

You don’t owe us anything!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ive changed my profile. Made it clear up the top of my profile. Well ive hopefully made it clear lol .Anyone think its to abrupt or too soft?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thankyou to every single person that replied. Ive tried to reply to you all. Hope ive not missed any.

Going to update my profile now to make it a little clearer to those who message xx

You don’t owe us anything!

See im a softy lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

This is so spot on lovely. Im even weary these days of the updates I put up. I dont want them attracting the wrong people xx

I actually don’t post statuses very often now or only quite bland things so that people don’t message me based on them. I feel like I have to second guess what sort of response I’ll get before I post.

And I’m like you when I get abuse, I literally start shaking and feel sick, so if I think someone is heading that way I block them just in case. I feel like it’s self-defence rather than being mean.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"Ive changed my profile. Made it clear up the top of my profile. Well ive hopefully made it clear lol .Anyone think its to abrupt or too soft?"

Looks absolutely fine to me, perfectly pleasant and polite but totally clear. If they don’t read it that’s their own fault!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is so spot on lovely. Im even weary these days of the updates I put up. I dont want them attracting the wrong people xx

Aww lovely sending hugs, I shouldnt post statuses tbh, it always encourages comments that I dont really like or want.

It is a horrible feeling how a nasty verbal message can affect our nerves. Ive not ever heard anyone else saying that before apart from mysel

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ive changed my profile. Made it clear up the top of my profile. Well ive hopefully made it clear lol .Anyone think its to abrupt or too soft?

Looks absolutely fine to me, perfectly pleasant and polite but totally clear. If they don’t read it that’s their own fault!"

Thankyou so much for checking. I didnt want to scare off the ones I like lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"I actually don’t post statuses very often now or only quite bland things so that people don’t message me based on them. I feel like I have to second guess what sort of response I’ll get before I post.

Aww lovely sending hugs, I shouldnt post statuses tbh, it always encourages comments that I dont really like or want.

It is a horrible feeling how a nasty verbal message can affect our nerves. Ive not ever heard anyone else saying that before apart from mysel

Maybe other people feel like that but don’t say it, or maybe they just don’t use the forums. Or maybe they leave the site because it spoils it for them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

I don't know why people worry about blocking.

If you're not ever going to be interested in someone who makes a random, unsolicited approach then it's just a filter - albeit a permanent one.

Saves any worry about how they'll respond to a message, or lack of one, or whether a polite no thanks will result in abuse or further unwanted messages.

When we used to proactively look for people to meet we'd often block those we knew we'd never want to, so that they didn't show up in searches anymore. Made life much easier.

Blocking someone is seen as a last resort by many. It's not an insult. It's nothing more than a filter.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Prevent people from messaging you when you put a pic up, then relax your filters again once it's been up for a while. "

id go with this.

seems the most logical answer.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Aww lovely sending hugs, I shouldnt post statuses tbh, it always encourages comments that I dont really like or want.

It is a horrible feeling how a nasty verbal message can affect our nerves. Ive not ever heard anyone else saying that before apart from mysel

Maybe other people feel like that but don’t say it, or maybe they just don’t use the forums. Or maybe they leave the site because it spoils it for them."

Ive come off for months before. I miss my friends and the banter though plus had a few lovely meets. My inbox is already getting full so mass delete shortly. One day I wont feel guilty . X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Why worry about blocking complete strangers?

Are you really hoping that they will fab any future pics? I'd be hitting the block asap if I received any abuse with no second thought!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't know why people worry about blocking.

If you're not ever going to be interested in someone who makes a random, unsolicited approach then it's just a filter - albeit a permanent one.

Saves any worry about how they'll respond to a message, or lack of one, or whether a polite no thanks will result in abuse or further unwanted messages.

When we used to proactively look for people to meet we'd often block those we knew we'd never want to, so that they didn't show up in searches anymore. Made life much easier.

Blocking someone is seen as a last resort by many. It's not an insult. It's nothing more than a filter.

I dont like blocking if ive had a nice compliment but sadly it leads to more messages thinking they are in. I end up blocking them afterall

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why worry about blocking complete strangers?

Are you really hoping that they will fab any future pics? I'd be hitting the block asap if I received any abuse with no second thought!"

I block the abusers instantly and feel nothing . Its the ones who send nice mesdages and constantly message i feel guilty about. I dont care who fabs mh pics as I never look. My pics are up to hopefully attract the type of Dom im looking for and they would message me without me even noticing they fabd my pics xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iker boy 69Man over a year ago

midlands

I got a nice refusal today, which is something that dont happen very often. I just messaged back with, no probs, thanks for at least replying, have fun. Dont getbwhy guys get twatty over being turned down.. makes you think how theyd behave in a nightclub

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I don't know why people worry about blocking.

If you're not ever going to be interested in someone who makes a random, unsolicited approach then it's just a filter - albeit a permanent one.

Saves any worry about how they'll respond to a message, or lack of one, or whether a polite no thanks will result in abuse or further unwanted messages.

When we used to proactively look for people to meet we'd often block those we knew we'd never want to, so that they didn't show up in searches anymore. Made life much easier.

Blocking someone is seen as a last resort by many. It's not an insult. It's nothing more than a filter.

I dont like blocking if ive had a nice compliment but sadly it leads to more messages thinking they are in. I end up blocking them afterall

Compliments on here should generally be taken with a pinch of salt.

Often their sole intention isn't actually to compliment but to draw you into a conversation with a hope to meet.

So if you wouldn't ever consider meeting them then that compliment can often quickly switch to a 'wouldn't really want to meet you anyway' message. Save yourself time and potential disappointment and don't be afraid to just delete and block.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't know why people worry about blocking.

If you're not ever going to be interested in someone who makes a random, unsolicited approach then it's just a filter - albeit a permanent one.

Saves any worry about how they'll respond to a message, or lack of one, or whether a polite no thanks will result in abuse or further unwanted messages.

When we used to proactively look for people to meet we'd often block those we knew we'd never want to, so that they didn't show up in searches anymore. Made life much easier.

Blocking someone is seen as a last resort by many. It's not an insult. It's nothing more than a filter.

I dont like blocking if ive had a nice compliment but sadly it leads to more messages thinking they are in. I end up blocking them afterall

Compliments on here should generally be taken with a pinch of salt.

Often their sole intention isn't actually to compliment but to draw you into a conversation with a hope to meet.

You are spot on lovely, im too blooming gullable.xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ear in the chairMan over a year ago

Godstone

Block guys if you want and its definitely a clear message but a lot of us do appreciate a nice clear reply. Even if it's a polite 'not what I'm looking for' it makes it clear cut.

I have a few people I think of as friends on the forums who have said a clear no thanks. Banter can still be fun though with no aspirations then and I like that too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Block guys if you want and its definitely a clear message but a lot of us do appreciate a nice clear reply. Even if it's a polite 'not what I'm looking for' it makes it clear cut.

I have a few people I think of as friends on the forums who have said a clear no thanks. Banter can still be fun though with no aspirations then and I like that too

Sometimes I get abuse from not replying as theres just too many messages lovely. I dont like coming across as bad either. I love banter btw xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Prevent people from messaging you when you put a pic up, then relax your filters again once it's been up for a while. "

That's such a good idea, I had so many messages the last few days after getting to page 1 and it was crazy! I'm going to try that next time xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Prevent people from messaging you when you put a pic up, then relax your filters again once it's been up for a while.

That's such a good idea, I had so many messages the last few days after getting to page 1 and it was crazy! I'm going to try that next time xx"

Congratulations lovely on page one

Your profile pic is beautiful. I can imagine youve been absolutely swamped in messages. That I couldnt deal with. 20 and im stressed lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Prevent people from messaging you when you put a pic up, then relax your filters again once it's been up for a while.

That's such a good idea, I had so many messages the last few days after getting to page 1 and it was crazy! I'm going to try that next time xx

Congratulations lovely on page one

Your profile pic is beautiful. I can imagine youve been absolutely swamped in messages. That I couldnt deal with. 20 and im stressed lol"

Ah thank you, glad you like my bum! Haha. Yeah I logged in and cleared everything before bed, then woke up to 300 more and nearly cried lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. "
you have no choice but to make whatever you're doing here work for you, you can't spend your life answering messages from people you're not interested in, being polite is essential and that applies both ways if someone is rude early on the block be polite when you have time to be polite and block when you dont, tweek it so you're happy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *carlett AllureWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

I’ve learnt to be ruthless, no picture, not local, not my age range (left open as I have friends out of my play age I like to keep in contact with on here) they all get an automatic delete

Anyone who then sends repeated messages or abuse get blocked.

No matter what’s written on your profile over half wont read it anyway x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *llaboutthewifeCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

Just think you will never meet them. Anyone with any decency won't give you abuse.

The ones that crack me up are the ones, usually couples, that say to us, lovely profile fancy chatting or more, then I say erm, no, as we are not looking for couples.

Maybe whittle your age range down might help and avoid new people perhaps?

Don't take it to heart xx

Jo x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Prevent people from messaging you when you put a pic up, then relax your filters again once it's been up for a while.

That's such a good idea, I had so many messages the last few days after getting to page 1 and it was crazy! I'm going to try that next time xx

Congratulations lovely on page one

Your profile pic is beautiful. I can imagine youve been absolutely swamped in messages. That I couldnt deal with. 20 and im stressed lol

Ah thank you, glad you like my bum! Haha. Yeah I logged in and cleared everything before bed, then woke up to 300 more and nearly cried lol"

Omg 300, that would put me in a comma with shock. Id want to mass delete but then the perfect man could be amongst them lol

Yes a perfect bum indeed

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. you have no choice but to make whatever you're doing here work for you, you can't spend your life answering messages from people you're not interested in, being polite is essential and that applies both ways if someone is rude early on the block be polite when you have time to be polite and block when you dont, tweek it so you're happy

Ive a bunch now since doing my 2 threads, I feel awful just deleting and a no thankyou will just encourage. I think im also worried they would come on here and give me abuse.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oneyjule65Couple over a year ago

Halifax

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Ive a bunch now since doing my 2 threads, I feel awful just deleting and a no thankyou will just encourage. I think im also worried they would come on here and give me abuse.

Just block them...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve learnt to be ruthless, no picture, not local, not my age range (left open as I have friends out of my play age I like to keep in contact with on here) they all get an automatic delete

Anyone who then sends repeated messages or abuse get blocked.

No matter what’s written on your profile over half wont read it anyway x"

90% wont read it lovely tbh.

Its so hard and im too soft but getting there since I put this thread up xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just think you will never meet them. Anyone with any decency won't give you abuse.

The ones that crack me up are the ones, usually couples, that say to us, lovely profile fancy chatting or more, then I say erm, no, as we are not looking for couples.

Maybe whittle your age range down might help and avoid new people perhaps?

Don't take it to heart xx

Jo x"

Think my age range is very small already lol any smaller and noone be in it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Ive a bunch now since doing my 2 threads, I feel awful just deleting and a no thankyou will just encourage. I think im also worried they would come on here and give me abuse.

Just block them...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Ive a bunch now since doing my 2 threads, I feel awful just deleting and a no thankyou will just encourage. I think im also worried they would come on here and give me abuse.

"
hey maybe write it into your profile write up so they know up front that you don't have time to answer everyone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Ive a bunch now since doing my 2 threads, I feel awful just deleting and a no thankyou will just encourage. I think im also worried they would come on here and give me abuse.

hey maybe write it into your profile write up so they know up front that you don't have time to answer everyone

Done lovely, changed it about hour ago xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Fab gives you all the tools you need, if you don't want messages apply filters. If you do want messages relaxe your filters. It's really that easy.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Fab gives you all the tools you need, if you don't want messages apply filters. If you do want messages relaxe your filters. It's really that easy."

I like messages, Its hard to tell till they arrive which ones will be abusive though x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable. "

This! Xx Abuse is never acceptable, no matter what xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

"Fab gives you all the tools you need, if you don't want messages apply filters. If you do want messages relaxe your filters. It's really that easy.

I like messages, Its hard to tell till they arrive which ones will be abusive though x"

You don't need to acknowledge abusive ones at all

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable.

This! Xx Abuse is never acceptable, no matter what xx"

I had the worst one last week in the 6 yrs I've been on here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable.

This! Xx Abuse is never acceptable, no matter what xx

I had the worst one last week in the 6 yrs I've been on here.

People are clearly desperate and are lashing out. Imagine living with them.

Take care don't let them get to you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable.

This! Xx Abuse is never acceptable, no matter what xx

I had the worst one last week in the 6 yrs I've been on here.

I'm sorry, that's proper shitty. I've had my fair share too. It's not nice. Do you report them?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Fab gives you all the tools you need, if you don't want messages apply filters. If you do want messages relaxe your filters. It's really that easy.

I like messages, Its hard to tell till they arrive which ones will be abusive though x

You don't need to acknowledge abusive ones at all"

I should have blocked when I opened his message to loads of cock pics but I then said nicely I didnt need to see them and it states on my profile. Omg huge mistake

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated. "

Use the filters....easier if you’re not looking for single men

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable.

This! Xx Abuse is never acceptable, no matter what xx

I had the worst one last week in the 6 yrs I've been on here.

I'm sorry, that's proper shitty. I've had my fair share too. It's not nice. Do you report them? "

I did lovely but nothing seemed to change. Hes local to my area too x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need advice please.

I can't reply to everyone as there's too many. I've even kept my message filters on for weeks sometimes, then I'm missing interacting with people.

I've no clue what to do. I like to say thankyou but they then think I'm interested them.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Use the filters....easier if you’re not looking for single men "

Im only looking for single men lol

Ive age filters on but the age im attracted to seems to give more abuse which is surprising x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I send a message, always with a face pic, and get no reply, I will just assume either not interested or jut missed the message due to too many. If someone messages back saying 'no thanks' then I think that was I nice gesture but would message again.

If I got abuse then I would either report or block.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Block button best one for that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Block button best one for that "

Even tonight im struggling with it x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable.

This! Xx Abuse is never acceptable, no matter what xx

I had the worst one last week in the 6 yrs I've been on here.

I'm sorry, that's proper shitty. I've had my fair share too. It's not nice. Do you report them?

I did lovely but nothing seemed to change. Hes local to my area too x"

Block button is all I can suggest, I know it doesn't really help much xx hugs lovely xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I send a message, always with a face pic, and get no reply, I will just assume either not interested or jut missed the message due to too many. If someone messages back saying 'no thanks' then I think that was I nice gesture but would message again.

If I got abuse then I would either report or block. "

I could never give abuse to anyone unless they were nasty to me lovely x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

"Fab gives you all the tools you need, if you don't want messages apply filters. If you do want messages relaxe your filters. It's really that easy.

I like messages, Its hard to tell till they arrive which ones will be abusive though x

You don't need to acknowledge abusive ones at all

I should have blocked when I opened his message to loads of cock pics but I then said nicely I didnt need to see them and it states on my profile. Omg huge mistake

If it is really bothering you just block all men from messaging and go looking for the ones you want.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP. It's not your fault those guys are idiots.

I like to show admiration for pics. If the lady replies then great, if she doesn't then fair enough.

Giving abuse to anyone shouldn't be acceptable.

This! Xx Abuse is never acceptable, no matter what xx

I had the worst one last week in the 6 yrs I've been on here.

I'm sorry, that's proper shitty. I've had my fair share too. It's not nice. Do you report them?

I did lovely but nothing seemed to change. Hes local to my area too x

Block button is all I can suggest, I know it doesn't really help much xx hugs lovely xx"

Thankyou lovely for your kind messages xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Block button best one for that

Even tonight im struggling with it x"

Send me a message lovely, I can't message you xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Block all single men on your message filters.

That lets you message the ones your interested in.

And if he turns out to be a dick block him.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Block button best one for that

Even tonight im struggling with it x

Send me a message lovely, I can't message you xx"

I just tried, im too old lol I will lower my age now for you xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *jonesMan over a year ago

london

If I have crafted a nice message and get a pleasant thanks but not for me etc ..I always say thx for replying and leave it at that

I have hardly ever been blocked..to my knowledge..

You are obviously a charming lady but I suspect the numbers of guys and some peoples behaviour might call for firm responses..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Grow a pair would be my advice. It's ok to not respond to messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *jonesMan over a year ago

london

I was chatting to a lady and she thinks the lock down has made some of the single guys cruder and ruder....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I got abuse then I would either report or block.

I could never give abuse to anyone unless they were nasty to me lovely x"
If they where nasty to you, they never deserved the gift of your time in the first place.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I have crafted a nice message and get a pleasant thanks but not for me etc ..I always say thx for replying and leave it at that

I have hardly ever been blocked..to my knowledge..

You are obviously a charming lady but I suspect the numbers of guys and some peoples behaviour might call for firm responses..

Youve always been lovely when messaging me and its nice we friends

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Grow a pair would be my advice. It's ok to not respond to messages. "

Some are better and tougher at dealing with abuse then others

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If I got abuse then I would either report or block.

I could never give abuse to anyone unless they were nasty to me lovely x If they where nasty to you, they never deserved the gift of your time in the first place. "

They are nasty after I always say no thankyou x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Grow a pair would be my advice. It's ok to not respond to messages.

Some are better and tougher at dealing with abuse then others"

I don't read messages I'm not interested in so I really wouldn't know if any messages are abusive or not. I think I'm much happier with my fab experience because of it. I'm here for me. Not anyone else.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *jonesMan over a year ago

london

"If I have crafted a nice message and get a pleasant thanks but not for me etc ..I always say thx for replying and leave it at that

I have hardly ever been blocked..to my knowledge..

You are obviously a charming lady but I suspect the numbers of guys and some peoples behaviour might call for firm responses..

Youve always been lovely when messaging me and its nice we friends

You are a lovely soul and it annoys me your getting rude messages...

The internet in general and fab in particular seems to make people forget they are talking to real people..

I love meeting people at socials..avoids any rude mad people ...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)