FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Put off....
Jump to: Newest in thread
![]() | |||
| |||
![]() | |||
"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem " Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe. I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me? | |||
"I definitely find myself checking out people’s verifications! I often see some super graphic ones I can’t help but think are a bit over the top, I assume I’m not the only one? ![]() I always check veris lol. Just incase my mates already been there..... ![]() | |||
![]() | |||
| |||
"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe. I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me? Why would it? I don’t see why your past would have anything to do with me. " That’s a good way to look at it. | |||
| |||
| |||
"I definitely find myself checking out people’s verifications! I often see some super graphic ones I can’t help but think are a bit over the top, I assume I’m not the only one? ![]() ![]() Fair enough! I suppose the next question would be...would you be put off by a mate already meeting them? | |||
| |||
"If I was ever looking for someone new I’d not give a hoot. Not like any of us are virgins is it?? What puts me off people is purely based on their attitude, personality and attractiveness to my own personal tastes." No we aren’t. It’s probably more of a insecurity thing on my part. It doesn’t happen often. | |||
| |||
"I don't pay attention to veris. Who people have met has no bearing on me meeting them, the same as I would expect the other way round. If my veris put someone off meeting me then good riddance, I wouldn't want to meet them anyway. " Exactly. | |||
"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe. I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me? Why would it? I don’t see why your past would have anything to do with me. That’s a good way to look at it. " i personally don't want to know who you've been with, i don't like veris for that reason, veris for me shouldn't refer to the fun side, they should just make people feel you're worthy of a meet and are a safe meet, i don't ask for veris and don't chat to people in general who fine veris a defining need but i can see how some would judge another person because of that knowledge ![]() | |||
| |||
"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe. I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me? Why would it? I don’t see why your past would have anything to do with me. That’s a good way to look at it. i personally don't want to know who you've been with, i don't like veris for that reason, veris for me shouldn't refer to the fun side, they should just make people feel you're worthy of a meet and are a safe meet, i don't ask for veris and don't chat to people in general who fine veris a defining need but i can see how some would judge another person because of that knowledge ![]() find | |||
| |||
"And this is the problem with veris. If you didn't know.....you wouldn't give a shit. Likewise gossip. If you're basing a decision on what someone else has told you then you're crazy. Plenty of people have their own agenda and reasons for circulating gossip. Make your own mind up. Simples. A" Again good advice | |||
"Do you get put off someone by knowing they have shagged someone in particular? I don’t just mean by the veris. For instance I find someone on here really attractive, sexy and I’d love to get my hands on him. Until I found out he’d been with someone and it turned my stomach. Now I wouldn’t go anywhere near him. Some guys have told me women won’t go near them as they have been with me, that used to happen a lot ![]() Yes i get turned off super easily by many things | |||
| |||
"Only if it was with someone known to be reckless with safety, or someone known to use drugs (not an overarching moral judgment, just a personal no-no). I've always thought of swinging as the world where we don't judge others for their proclivities, so why should it matter that a potential sexual partner has been with someone I dislike or have an issue with? " I agree with this too. But sometimes I do just get the ick...... obviously this is not as common as I thought | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met. That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. " Sounds like you had a lucky escape, surely your business should be between you and him not his mate. I was once in a similar situation and felt my so called mate would try and play people off against eachother. He got himself into a lot of trouble. Needless to say he is not a mate anymore........ | |||
"I hide my veris and take no notice of other people’s. Who they have fucked and when really is of little importance to me. If we connect, have chemistry and I really like them then their history is their business. I’m only interested in the present. I pretty much keep my sexual business to myself. What others do is up to them." I just love you ![]() | |||
| |||
"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met. That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. " Oh I’ve had that So no op I never get the ick or whatever, but if it’s someone I don’t get on with, then I don’t want to get involved in a situation where I could end up hurt | |||
"I'm a proper verification looker. I like to read what has been said about the person before chatting. I wouldn't say I get put off if they have met a particular person, but if I see they have met slim, athletic or very pretty people I tend to steer clear as I probably wont fit what they are looking for. " I do this too | |||
"Totally. Someone I was really, really into- he’s been with some people that has made my stomach turn as you say. He is absolutely gorgeous and a delight to be with but seems to have no standards at all. So I will never have sex with him again. Shame. " Yes this is exactly what I was trying to get across. Just sometime a certain someone really puts me off. | |||
"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met. That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. Oh I’ve had that So no op I never get the ick or whatever, but if it’s someone I don’t get on with, then I don’t want to get involved in a situation where I could end up hurt" Yes I have had this situation too | |||
"Yes. If I know someone is a nasty piece of work it puts me off that others can't see it, or can see it but just don't let it bother them as long as they're ok with them. I'll possibly bypass that thought if they'd only met them once but if they seem to build a friendship or bond then it shows me they ain't as good a judge of character as I thought it that they're uncaring and will leave morals at the door if it means a bit of fanny. P" This exactly for me too. ![]() | |||
![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Nah it's not going to put me off anyone at all as we all have a past, it's not as if its going to effect me in any way from here. I will always make my mind up about someone I talk to myself and when this has happened in my vanilla life I've made some great friends who others have judged as being idiots...I like them for who they are, not for who they know. As for you OP, I've met you in person so if you think you've been judged unfairly because of who you have met then in my mind it's them who will be missing out ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
"I hide my veris and take no notice of other people’s. Who they have fucked and when really is of little importance to me. If we connect, have chemistry and I really like them then their history is their business. I’m only interested in the present. I pretty much keep my sexual business to myself. What others do is up to them. I just love you ![]() I have to say it’s pretty easy to do this when you don’t fuck anyone ![]() | |||
![]() | |||
| |||
"Totally. Someone I was really, really into- he’s been with some people that has made my stomach turn as you say. He is absolutely gorgeous and a delight to be with but seems to have no standards at all. So I will never have sex with him again. Shame. " Hang on so you’ve already had sex with him? Why did you in the first place or weren’t you aware he was like that? | |||
| |||
"I bet we have all somewhere over our lives thoughy maybe I shouldn't off met with her but you chalk it down to experience good or bad. And agree just be careful and safe. Maybe girls read more into it then guys though.." Regret is different to being put off by something or someone, I think anyway. Definitely have regrets about some of my past choices but nothing I can do about it now. | |||
![]() | |||
![]() | |||
| |||
"I do like to make my own mind up, so while I read veris, it’s not the be all and end off in my decision making ![]() This ![]() | |||
"I get put off much more by what people do and say and what they post than who they have met in the past." Amen ![]() | |||
| |||
"I would say, I’ve been put off by many more people by their behaviour the last 3 weeks, than through verifications " I get attracted or put off by their forum persona a lot more than verifications | |||
| |||
"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met. That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. " I sympathise! | |||
![]() | |||
| |||
"Totally. Someone I was really, really into- he’s been with some people that has made my stomach turn as you say. He is absolutely gorgeous and a delight to be with but seems to have no standards at all. So I will never have sex with him again. Shame. " How do you judge whether someone has no standards or not based off veris? | |||
![]() ![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"People are very sanctimonious about not judging. But I’m sure there are one or two Fab profiles (minimum!) that would make you reconsider meeting someone if they’d had sex with them. I’d never judge what someone does, sexually. But this isn’t Tumblr. If that person wants to come to my house to have sex, I shouldn’t be made to feel wrong for having misgivings about them." It’s never wrong to have misgivings about someone we all have different ways of making our selections. Your way is different to mine but it is just as valid. | |||
| |||
"I get put off much more by what people do and say and what they post than who they have met in the past." ![]() ![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
![]() | |||
| |||
![]() ![]() | |||
| |||
"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties. Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me. " What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any? Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social. Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437. This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them. ![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met. That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. " What she said. ![]() | |||
| |||
"A GMF veri is like a badge of honour Wear with pride..." Need to buy me a cocktail first ![]() | |||
"A GMF veri is like a badge of honour Wear with pride... Need to buy me a cocktail first ![]() I can't wait... It'll be my absolute pleasure | |||
"A GMF veri is like a badge of honour Wear with pride... Need to buy me a cocktail first ![]() After lockdown, we will book a date ![]() | |||
"A GMF veri is like a badge of honour Wear with pride... Need to buy me a cocktail first ![]() ![]() Amazing! - yes please... ![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
![]() | |||
![]() | |||
| |||
"Following on from that - sometimes you can tell a lot from someone’s veri’s, especially if someone fits in that category of ‘any hole is a goal’. It all depends on what kind of veri’s someone leaves - you can tell a lot about someone’s personality from it usually (in my opinion). However, it doesn’t mean that people who got a lot of veri’s you need to steer clear from. It all depends on the substance and content of that verification. Years ago, I used to have all sorts of veri’s from the club socials, meets, cam and just getting to know someone. I used to speak to everyone, any gender, any sexuality and any height (lol) - I did use to have certain comments made but, I’ve got no time to think about it. ![]() Bugger me. Wasn't til I read the 'height reference' that I realised you were back. ![]() ![]() | |||
"its a swinging site not a dating site" Yes. But some of us like to have sex with people they actually like and get on with. Last time I checked, 'swinging' didn’t mean shagging indiscriminately. It’s about attraction and connection, for me, not equal opportunities. | |||
"its a swinging site not a dating site Yes. But some of us like to have sex with people they actually like and get on with. Last time I checked, 'swinging' didn’t mean shagging indiscriminately. It’s about attraction and connection, for me, not equal opportunities." ![]() | |||
"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties. Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me. What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any? Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social. Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437. This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them. ![]() Looking at the number of veris and who they’re from isn’t an assumption, surely? I'm picky about people's sexual habits. I can't see why this is a problem, darling. If doing this is something awful, the only person who suffers is me. I'm not telling you to be more picky, am I? | |||
"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties. Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me. What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any? Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social. Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437. This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them. ![]() But it is. You're assuming that what you can see is the total picture. What may look like the perfect guy - right number of veris and what you see as acceptable content - may be a world away from reality. Some profiles show only what they want people to see for just that reason. They hide the graphic stuff. They hide certain meet veris if from people who may be seen as 'undesirable'. All you can ever do is make an assumption. Nothing more, nothing less. A | |||
"its a swinging site not a dating site Yes. But some of us like to have sex with people they actually like and get on with. Last time I checked, 'swinging' didn’t mean shagging indiscriminately. It’s about attraction and connection, for me, not equal opportunities." I’m starting to love you a little ![]() | |||
"its a swinging site not a dating site Yes. But some of us like to have sex with people they actually like and get on with. Last time I checked, 'swinging' didn’t mean shagging indiscriminately. It’s about attraction and connection, for me, not equal opportunities. I’m starting to love you a little ![]() I love you too! | |||
"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties. Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me. What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any? Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social. Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437. This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them. ![]() This thread is not about the VALIDITY of the information on a profile, it's about choices based on the information that's presented. You've created a bit of a straw man by suggesting I'm wrong to trust the information an individual chooses to divulge.... | |||
"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties. Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me. What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any? Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social. Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437. This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them. ![]() That is a very good point. It comes down to the individual. Your experience with a certain person may be different to another persons experience | |||
| |||
| |||
"Only one person" It’s me, isn’t it | |||
| |||
"Only one person It’s me, isn’t it" How did you guess? | |||
"Only one person It’s me, isn’t it How did you guess?" I just know | |||
| |||
"Only one person It’s me, isn’t it How did you guess? I just know " It's not that I believe what they say, I just don't want to take any chances ![]() | |||
| |||
"Only issue for me would be safety ..and if somone had 800 verifications as the previous lady mentioned I might think twice ... " I would add most of my verris are from socials...I organise one in brum and have been to a few around the country ...such a nice way to meet people ... | |||
| |||
"I definitely find myself checking out people’s verifications! I often see some super graphic ones I can’t help but think are a bit over the top, I assume I’m not the only one? ![]() What if they haven’t found someone to verify them? | |||
| |||
![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I have found over the years on here that verifications cannot be relied upon as a tool to make up my mind. That is why socials exist! And I went through a phase of hiding mine, because of the perception that it's a form of bragging, then marking of territory, which, when you think about it, doesnt really make sense. So these days, I give them freely, they are first and foremost for the person I have met, a compliment, if you will. Secondly, I display them, because if someone has gone to the trouble of meeting me, and writing one, I think it shows that I am pleased to have met them. Subsequent meets and meets with old friends dont usually warrant a verification, but I am not averse to that either. I find that their forum presence, if they use them is a great filter, and private messaging too. That's why I take my time chatting, as I have few partners, but tend to make long term connections." If I actually gave a toss about veris these days it would be the territory marking ones that concerned me more than any number of meets. Whilst graphic, detailed veris are often offputting they're sometimes not as bad as the repeat, gushing, arse licking essays, written like some low budget 50 shades of gray wannabe novel that some feel the need to leave as if pissing up a lamppost. There's paying a compliment and then there's brown nosing to the extreme..... A | |||
"I have found over the years on here that verifications cannot be relied upon as a tool to make up my mind. That is why socials exist! And I went through a phase of hiding mine, because of the perception that it's a form of bragging, then marking of territory, which, when you think about it, doesnt really make sense. So these days, I give them freely, they are first and foremost for the person I have met, a compliment, if you will. Secondly, I display them, because if someone has gone to the trouble of meeting me, and writing one, I think it shows that I am pleased to have met them. Subsequent meets and meets with old friends dont usually warrant a verification, but I am not averse to that either. I find that their forum presence, if they use them is a great filter, and private messaging too. That's why I take my time chatting, as I have few partners, but tend to make long term connections. If I actually gave a toss about veris these days it would be the territory marking ones that concerned me more than any number of meets. Whilst graphic, detailed veris are often offputting they're sometimes not as bad as the repeat, gushing, arse licking essays, written like some low budget 50 shades of gray wannabe novel that some feel the need to leave as if pissing up a lamppost. There's paying a compliment and then there's brown nosing to the extreme..... A" It's very obvious that you're referring to veris like the ones my partner leaves me. It's his way of reliving our meets, and lots of people really enjoy them, darling. I wouldn’t call being in love 'brown nosing', personally! If you don’t like a long veri, stop reading. | |||
"I have found over the years on here that verifications cannot be relied upon as a tool to make up my mind. That is why socials exist! And I went through a phase of hiding mine, because of the perception that it's a form of bragging, then marking of territory, which, when you think about it, doesnt really make sense. So these days, I give them freely, they are first and foremost for the person I have met, a compliment, if you will. Secondly, I display them, because if someone has gone to the trouble of meeting me, and writing one, I think it shows that I am pleased to have met them. Subsequent meets and meets with old friends dont usually warrant a verification, but I am not averse to that either. I find that their forum presence, if they use them is a great filter, and private messaging too. That's why I take my time chatting, as I have few partners, but tend to make long term connections. If I actually gave a toss about veris these days it would be the territory marking ones that concerned me more than any number of meets. Whilst graphic, detailed veris are often offputting they're sometimes not as bad as the repeat, gushing, arse licking essays, written like some low budget 50 shades of gray wannabe novel that some feel the need to leave as if pissing up a lamppost. There's paying a compliment and then there's brown nosing to the extreme..... A It's very obvious that you're referring to veris like the ones my partner leaves me. It's his way of reliving our meets, and lots of people really enjoy them, darling. I wouldn’t call being in love 'brown nosing', personally! If you don’t like a long veri, stop reading." Sorry to burst your bubble but I've not read yours. And please don't call me darling. I don't know you from Adam. A | |||
| |||
| |||
"I used to get it loads..... guys I had been with said women weren’t interested once they had been lexied!! ![]() I hear it said a lot about me too. Sad thing is it’s by ladies I’ve never even met or heard of ![]() | |||
"Do you get put off someone by knowing they have shagged someone in particular? I don’t just mean by the veris. For instance I find someone on here really attractive, sexy and I’d love to get my hands on him. Until I found out he’d been with someone and it turned my stomach. Now I wouldn’t go anywhere near him. Some guys have told me women won’t go near them as they have been with me, that used to happen a lot ![]() Yes I'm extremely picky.if a guy or a couple been with someone who fucks everyone who moves!no,thank you... ![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
"Not generally by the people they've met, but I am put off by feeling like I'm just one in a long list that they're working through...I'm not going to be just the next person along on the conveyor belt of a lothario. " I’m very much of a similar mind; some profiles scream ‘numbers girl’ ![]() | |||
| |||
"Only one person It’s me, isn’t it How did you guess? I just know It's not that I believe what they say, I just don't want to take any chances ![]() I respect that | |||
![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
"I used to get it loads..... guys I had been with said women weren’t interested once they had been lexied!! ![]() ![]() I take it as a compliment ![]() | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I used to get it loads..... guys I had been with said women weren’t interested once they had been lexied!! ![]() ![]() ![]() That made me chuckle. You should hand out 'Been Lexied' badges, t shirts and totes. | |||
| |||
| |||
![]() | |||
"Oh, absolutely... Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos.. ![]() A catalogue of women would actually be quite useful and save a lot of time. Even better if it came with a little blue Argos pen. | |||
"Oh, absolutely... Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos.. ![]() So you could put circles round the ones you wanted for Christmas? | |||
"Oh, absolutely... Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos.. ![]() ![]() | |||
| |||
"Oh, absolutely... Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos.. ![]() I meant so I could tick them off so I didn't do them twice by mistake. | |||
"Oh, absolutely... Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos.. ![]() Reminds me of that catalogue of The harlots of London from the Georgian times... like trip advisor talking about “her pouting orbs and generous derrière” ![]() | |||
| |||
| |||