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Put off....

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport

Do you get put off someone by knowing they have shagged someone in particular?

I don’t just mean by the veris.

For instance I find someone on here really attractive, sexy and I’d love to get my hands on him. Until I found out he’d been with someone and it turned my stomach.

Now I wouldn’t go anywhere near him.

Some guys have told me women won’t go near them as they have been with me, that used to happen a lot

Boys - how do you feel about this?

Girls - do many girls/guys history’s give you the ick?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem

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By *_91Man  over a year ago

manchester

I definitely find myself checking out people’s verifications!

I often see some super graphic ones I can’t help but think are a bit over the top, I assume I’m not the only one?

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem "

Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe.

I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me?

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I definitely find myself checking out people’s verifications!

I often see some super graphic ones I can’t help but think are a bit over the top, I assume I’m not the only one? "

I always check veris lol. Just incase my mates already been there.....

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport

I someone think omg! Really?? How did that happen??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem

Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe.

I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me? "

Why would it? I don’t see why your past would have anything to do with me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If I was ever looking for someone new I’d not give a hoot.

Not like any of us are virgins is it??

What puts me off people is purely based on their attitude, personality and attractiveness to my own personal tastes.

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem

Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe.

I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me?

Why would it? I don’t see why your past would have anything to do with me. "

That’s a good way to look at it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't pay attention to veris. Who people have met has no bearing on me meeting them, the same as I would expect the other way round. If my veris put someone off meeting me then good riddance, I wouldn't want to meet them anyway.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

And this is the problem with veris.

If you didn't know.....you wouldn't give a shit.

Likewise gossip. If you're basing a decision on what someone else has told you then you're crazy. Plenty of people have their own agenda and reasons for circulating gossip.

Make your own mind up. Simples.

A

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By *_91Man  over a year ago

manchester


"I definitely find myself checking out people’s verifications!

I often see some super graphic ones I can’t help but think are a bit over the top, I assume I’m not the only one?

I always check veris lol. Just incase my mates already been there..... "

Fair enough! I suppose the next question would be...would you be put off by a mate already meeting them?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Only if it was with someone known to be reckless with safety, or someone known to use drugs (not an overarching moral judgment, just a personal no-no).

I've always thought of swinging as the world where we don't judge others for their proclivities, so why should it matter that a potential sexual partner has been with someone I dislike or have an issue with?

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"If I was ever looking for someone new I’d not give a hoot.

Not like any of us are virgins is it??

What puts me off people is purely based on their attitude, personality and attractiveness to my own personal tastes."

No we aren’t.

It’s probably more of a insecurity thing on my part.

It doesn’t happen often.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met.

That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics.

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I don't pay attention to veris. Who people have met has no bearing on me meeting them, the same as I would expect the other way round. If my veris put someone off meeting me then good riddance, I wouldn't want to meet them anyway. "

Exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem

Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe.

I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me?

Why would it? I don’t see why your past would have anything to do with me.

That’s a good way to look at it.

"

i personally don't want to know who you've been with, i don't like veris for that reason, veris for me shouldn't refer to the fun side, they should just make people feel you're worthy of a meet and are a safe meet, i don't ask for veris and don't chat to people in general who fine veris a defining need but i can see how some would judge another person because of that knowledge

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I hide my veris and take no notice of other people’s. Who they have fucked and when really is of little importance to me. If we connect, have chemistry and I really like them then their history is their business. I’m only interested in the present. I pretty much keep my sexual business to myself. What others do is up to them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I couldn’t care less as long as you’ve been safe. I don’t see a problem

Yeah I don’t mean in the sense of playing safe.

I mean say you looked at my profile and seen I’d been with someone you don’t like or think are strange or any reason would that put you off me?

Why would it? I don’t see why your past would have anything to do with me.

That’s a good way to look at it.

i personally don't want to know who you've been with, i don't like veris for that reason, veris for me shouldn't refer to the fun side, they should just make people feel you're worthy of a meet and are a safe meet, i don't ask for veris and don't chat to people in general who fine veris a defining need but i can see how some would judge another person because of that knowledge "

find

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"And this is the problem with veris.

If you didn't know.....you wouldn't give a shit.

Likewise gossip. If you're basing a decision on what someone else has told you then you're crazy. Plenty of people have their own agenda and reasons for circulating gossip.

Make your own mind up. Simples.

A"

Again good advice

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman  over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Do you get put off someone by knowing they have shagged someone in particular?

I don’t just mean by the veris.

For instance I find someone on here really attractive, sexy and I’d love to get my hands on him. Until I found out he’d been with someone and it turned my stomach.

Now I wouldn’t go anywhere near him.

Some guys have told me women won’t go near them as they have been with me, that used to happen a lot

Boys - how do you feel about this?

Girls - do many girls/guys history’s give you the ick? "

Yes i get turned off super easily by many things

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm a proper verification looker. I like to read what has been said about the person before chatting. I wouldn't say I get put off if they have met a particular person, but if I see they have met slim, athletic or very pretty people I tend to steer clear as I probably wont fit what they are looking for.

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"Only if it was with someone known to be reckless with safety, or someone known to use drugs (not an overarching moral judgment, just a personal no-no).

I've always thought of swinging as the world where we don't judge others for their proclivities, so why should it matter that a potential sexual partner has been with someone I dislike or have an issue with? "

I agree with this too.

But sometimes I do just get the ick...... obviously this is not as common as I thought

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/20 16:23:02]

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By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

I wouldn't say I'm put off by them actually meeting them but I'm aware of some people being very territorial over their meets so I might avoid meeting people they've met as I don't want to get caught up in anything ugly. I've been burned before and I can't be bothered again.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes.

If I know someone is a nasty piece of work it puts me off that others can't see it, or can see it but just don't let it bother them as long as they're ok with them.

I'll possibly bypass that thought if they'd only met them once but if they seem to build a friendship or bond then it shows me they ain't as good a judge of character as I thought it that they're uncaring and will leave morals at the door if it means a bit of fanny.

P

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met.

That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. "

Sounds like you had a lucky escape, surely your business should be between you and him not his mate.

I was once in a similar situation and felt my so called mate would try and play people off against eachother. He got himself into a lot of trouble. Needless to say he is not a mate anymore........

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I hide my veris and take no notice of other people’s. Who they have fucked and when really is of little importance to me. If we connect, have chemistry and I really like them then their history is their business. I’m only interested in the present. I pretty much keep my sexual business to myself. What others do is up to them."

I just love you

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By *viatrixWoman  over a year ago

Redhill

Totally.

Someone I was really, really into- he’s been with some people that has made my stomach turn as you say. He is absolutely gorgeous and a delight to be with but seems to have no standards at all. So I will never have sex with him again. Shame.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met.

That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. "

Oh I’ve had that

So no op I never get the ick or whatever, but if it’s someone I don’t get on with, then I don’t want to get involved in a situation where I could end up hurt

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I'm a proper verification looker. I like to read what has been said about the person before chatting. I wouldn't say I get put off if they have met a particular person, but if I see they have met slim, athletic or very pretty people I tend to steer clear as I probably wont fit what they are looking for. "

I do this too

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"Totally.

Someone I was really, really into- he’s been with some people that has made my stomach turn as you say. He is absolutely gorgeous and a delight to be with but seems to have no standards at all. So I will never have sex with him again. Shame. "

Yes this is exactly what I was trying to get across. Just sometime a certain someone really puts me off.

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met.

That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics.

Oh I’ve had that

So no op I never get the ick or whatever, but if it’s someone I don’t get on with, then I don’t want to get involved in a situation where I could end up hurt"

Yes I have had this situation too

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales


"Yes.

If I know someone is a nasty piece of work it puts me off that others can't see it, or can see it but just don't let it bother them as long as they're ok with them.

I'll possibly bypass that thought if they'd only met them once but if they seem to build a friendship or bond then it shows me they ain't as good a judge of character as I thought it that they're uncaring and will leave morals at the door if it means a bit of fanny.

P"

This exactly for me too.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS  over a year ago

Derby

Nah it's not going to put me off anyone at all as we all have a past, it's not as if its going to effect me in any way from here.

I will always make my mind up about someone I talk to myself and when this has happened in my vanilla life I've made some great friends who others have judged as being idiots...I like them for who they are, not for who they know.

As for you OP, I've met you in person so if you think you've been judged unfairly because of who you have met then in my mind it's them who will be missing out

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By *ustBoWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I use to not care about veris but yes there are a small handful of people who if I see they have veried someone I won't meet them. Mainly due to shit stirring and I can't be doing with the drama basically. It's a pity it happens on here but it does sometimes. So I avoid it if u can. It should be fun in here.

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By *luebell888Woman  over a year ago

Glasgowish

Yes i admit it puts me off and maybe some have been put off me also but we all have the right to decide who we wish to spend time with

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I dont know anyone on here so that doesn't matter to me

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"Nah it's not going to put me off anyone at all as we all have a past, it's not as if its going to effect me in any way from here.

I will always make my mind up about someone I talk to myself and when this has happened in my vanilla life I've made some great friends who others have judged as being idiots...I like them for who they are, not for who they know.

As for you OP, I've met you in person so if you think you've been judged unfairly because of who you have met then in my mind it's them who will be missing out "

I used to get it loads..... guys I had been with said women weren’t interested once they had been lexied!!

I found it funny.

It doesn’t happen these days as I’ve been a good girl

I bloody love you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I hide my veris and take no notice of other people’s. Who they have fucked and when really is of little importance to me. If we connect, have chemistry and I really like them then their history is their business. I’m only interested in the present. I pretty much keep my sexual business to myself. What others do is up to them.

I just love you "

I have to say it’s pretty easy to do this when you don’t fuck anyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes

A girl I liked on here.She was stunning.We got on well and we was going to meet just for ff relaxed fun and see where it leads.Then she showed me one of her veris off a guy that is a friend of a friend and the guy in question is a full on sleaze.He would literally go with anything that moves.He tells them all the right things they want to hear and gets his way and then he disappears until he wants to use them again and ges done that to lots.So yes it instantly put me off her as I believe the thing where you sleep with someone and your sleeping with all they have been with and he makes my skin crawl so yes I'm put off by others they've been with.Sorry about the rant

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I bet we have all somewhere over our lives thoughy maybe I shouldn't off met with her but you chalk it down to experience good or bad. And agree just be careful and safe. Maybe girls read more into it then guys though..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Totally.

Someone I was really, really into- he’s been with some people that has made my stomach turn as you say. He is absolutely gorgeous and a delight to be with but seems to have no standards at all. So I will never have sex with him again. Shame. "

Hang on so you’ve already had sex with him? Why did you in the first place or weren’t you aware he was like that?

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By *iamondCougarWoman  over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

* Guilty and not ashamed of upholding my standards *

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bet we have all somewhere over our lives thoughy maybe I shouldn't off met with her but you chalk it down to experience good or bad. And agree just be careful and safe. Maybe girls read more into it then guys though.."

Regret is different to being put off by something or someone, I think anyway. Definitely have regrets about some of my past choices but nothing I can do about it now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No

I get put off by gossips, hypocrisy and bollocks

Mind you - I have looked at verifications and thought to myself ‘why’ but each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I do like to make my own mind up, so while I read veris, it’s not the be all and end off in my decision making

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I get put off much more by what people do and say and what they post than who they have met in the past.

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By *ifeandhubby400Couple  over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland


"I do like to make my own mind up, so while I read veris, it’s not the be all and end off in my decision making "
This

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I get put off much more by what people do and say and what they post than who they have met in the past."

Amen

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would say, I’ve been put off by many more people by their behaviour the last 3 weeks, than through verifications

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford


"I would say, I’ve been put off by many more people by their behaviour the last 3 weeks, than through verifications

"

I get attracted or put off by their forum persona a lot more than verifications

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I will make my own mind up regardless.

It doesn't seem fair that you can make assumptions on someone because of who they recieved a veri off.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met.

That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. "

I sympathise!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

had in the past a women message me saying she was a friend of the woman I was talking to and if I met her she would block me as they don't meet the same people.

I replied whatever

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester

I understand what you mean, OP. Who someone has met means a lot to me. If he meets lots of women who meet somewhat indiscriminately, I avoid him. If he’s attended Greedy Girls parties, dogging meets, or gangbangs, he’s not right for me.

You get to know who’s going to suit you, sexually, and personally. There’s no shame in liking what you like and having a past. But there’s also no shame whatsoever in being selective about who you meet alone, as a single woman.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Totally.

Someone I was really, really into- he’s been with some people that has made my stomach turn as you say. He is absolutely gorgeous and a delight to be with but seems to have no standards at all. So I will never have sex with him again. Shame. "

How do you judge whether someone has no standards or not based off veris?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

OP can I ask before you got with a partner/husband or any relationship did you know who they slept with?

I think we all have different tastes and likes in life and different people bring different experiences, so unless they shagged my best mate or mum probably wouldn’t bother me. Past is in the past.

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By *d4fun73Man  over a year ago

Shipley

I have a friend on here she was told by a couple they wouldn't play with her because of her veris..too many apparently!.

I do think guys go way ott with theirs at times especially when I know who they're talking about.

However veris do show that you are genuine and turn up and perhaps meet a certain standard.

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By *hilloutMan  over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

My desire for meeting a person is determined by my level of attraction to them and how they carry themselves in general. Who they decide to meet isn't really an issue provided they're responsible of course.

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

I'm not looking now but in the past... I think who someone had fucked could have an impact on my decision. Possibly. Some people are utter... well douchenozzles and I'd rather not court that drama. I will actually admit that sometimes I've been put off someone a bit. Not because of the person they met so much, more that it would be in complete contrast with the facade they were trying to portray.

Nowadays I just think... your history is that. People and sexual attraction are nuanced and complicated. And veris don't always mean they have fucked. Likewise, lack of doesn't mean they haven't.

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By *oppet22TV/TS  over a year ago

huddersfield

No as it's them am meeting not the other person

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester

People are very sanctimonious about not judging. But I’m sure there are one or two Fab profiles (minimum!) that would make you reconsider meeting someone if they’d had sex with them.

I’d never judge what someone does, sexually. But this isn’t Tumblr. If that person wants to come to my house to have sex, I shouldn’t be made to feel wrong for having misgivings about them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People are very sanctimonious about not judging. But I’m sure there are one or two Fab profiles (minimum!) that would make you reconsider meeting someone if they’d had sex with them.

I’d never judge what someone does, sexually. But this isn’t Tumblr. If that person wants to come to my house to have sex, I shouldn’t be made to feel wrong for having misgivings about them."

It’s never wrong to have misgivings about someone we all have different ways of making our selections. Your way is different to mine but it is just as valid.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So to summarise going on these thread responses alone, I think...

Women; Majority put off if a prospective meet has met someone or other, though for a variety of reasons.

Men; Majority couldn't give a shit who the prospective meet has met in the past, provided that they themselves are not a cockwomble.

B

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By * and R cple4Couple  over a year ago

swansea


"I get put off much more by what people do and say and what they post than who they have met in the past."

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By *he Mac LassWoman  over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I used to be a terrible for this but I've mellowed in my old age. I have heard stories of people telling my previous meets that they wouldn't meet them as they had met me too. I now count two of these former haters as friends.

These days (unless the veri's indicated a lot of BB) if I like the person that's enough.

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By * and R cple4Couple  over a year ago

swansea

As long as the person isn’t a twat then there sexual past has nothing to do with us...

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman  over a year ago

On a mooch

In the past it has put me off and I’ve told them why.

However, it’s more their ways and attitude that I make my mind up on.

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By *d4fun73Man  over a year ago

Shipley

I got told recently that I have too many! And I'm therefore too experienced... You can't win!

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester

I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties.

Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes, I’m put off very easily , that’s why I only do socials now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes. I tend not to check someone’s veris for this very reason.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties.

Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me.

"

What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any?

Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social.

Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437.

This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them.

A

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By *ustmuttsMan  over a year ago

wisbech

its a swinging site not a dating site

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan  over a year ago

Seen in far off places

A GMF veri is like a badge of honour

Wear with pride...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d like to say no but I have been put off someone because of who he was friends with. No one turned my stomach or anything like that- she’s probably a lovely person. He was very good friends with someone but she had a lot to say about me when we had never actually met.

That put me off him as it felt like I would be getting into bed with his mate too as they were very close and told each their everything. I like to steer clear of drama and Fab politics. "

What she said.

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By *2000ManMan  over a year ago

Worthing

Not a fan of pics with sperm on the womans body.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A GMF veri is like a badge of honour

Wear with pride..."

Need to buy me a cocktail first

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan  over a year ago

Seen in far off places


"A GMF veri is like a badge of honour

Wear with pride...

Need to buy me a cocktail first "

I can't wait...

It'll be my absolute pleasure

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A GMF veri is like a badge of honour

Wear with pride...

Need to buy me a cocktail first

I can't wait...

It'll be my absolute pleasure "

After lockdown, we will book a date

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan  over a year ago

Seen in far off places


"A GMF veri is like a badge of honour

Wear with pride...

Need to buy me a cocktail first

I can't wait...

It'll be my absolute pleasure

After lockdown, we will book a date "

Amazing! - yes please...

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport

It’s really interesting reading all the posts.

In the swinging world you do tend to know a few of people’s past. But every situation is different.

Sorry I’ve not responded to all, mummy duties. X

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By *carlett AllureWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff

I have been put off people from who they have veris from. One lad I was talking to and arranging to meet received one from a couple twice his age and they were very curvy. To me it was more the fact that it made me question are me and the man in question compatible as I’m very much the complete opposite OR does he have no standards and is sleeping his way through the site?

Either way the decision was made I wouldn’t be finding out and our meet was off

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Everyone judges to a certain extent and sometimes you do question what on earth happened.

As long as you don’t end up holding a negative view of the person you’re looking to meet or they’ve met; it’s human curiosity.

Everybody questions things.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Following on from that - sometimes you can tell a lot from someone’s veri’s, especially if someone fits in that category of ‘any hole is a goal’. It all depends on what kind of veri’s someone leaves - you can tell a lot about someone’s personality from it usually (in my opinion).

However, it doesn’t mean that people who got a lot of veri’s you need to steer clear from. It all depends on the substance and content of that verification.

Years ago, I used to have all sorts of veri’s from the club socials, meets, cam and just getting to know someone. I used to speak to everyone, any gender, any sexuality and any height (lol) - I did use to have certain comments made but, I’ve got no time to think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There's only one person that would stop me meeting somwome mostly because she's a friend and that feels a bit weird

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Following on from that - sometimes you can tell a lot from someone’s veri’s, especially if someone fits in that category of ‘any hole is a goal’. It all depends on what kind of veri’s someone leaves - you can tell a lot about someone’s personality from it usually (in my opinion).

However, it doesn’t mean that people who got a lot of veri’s you need to steer clear from. It all depends on the substance and content of that verification.

Years ago, I used to have all sorts of veri’s from the club socials, meets, cam and just getting to know someone. I used to speak to everyone, any gender, any sexuality and any height (lol) - I did use to have certain comments made but, I’ve got no time to think about it.

"

Bugger me.

Wasn't til I read the 'height reference' that I realised you were back.

Exactly the point I was making. Numbers mean nothing, whether you can see them or not. People assume masses of veris mean you're at it like rabbits 24/7 when the truth is you may just be a social butterfly.

A

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester


"its a swinging site not a dating site"

Yes. But some of us like to have sex with people they actually like and get on with.

Last time I checked, 'swinging' didn’t mean shagging indiscriminately.

It’s about attraction and connection, for me, not equal opportunities.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"its a swinging site not a dating site

Yes. But some of us like to have sex with people they actually like and get on with.

Last time I checked, 'swinging' didn’t mean shagging indiscriminately.

It’s about attraction and connection, for me, not equal opportunities."

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester


"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties.

Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me.

What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any?

Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social.

Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437.

This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them.

A"

Looking at the number of veris and who they’re from isn’t an assumption, surely?

I'm picky about people's sexual habits. I can't see why this is a problem, darling. If doing this is something awful, the only person who suffers is me. I'm not telling you to be more picky, am I?

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties.

Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me.

What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any?

Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social.

Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437.

This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them.

A

Looking at the number of veris and who they’re from isn’t an assumption, surely?

I'm picky about people's sexual habits. I can't see why this is a problem, darling. If doing this is something awful, the only person who suffers is me. I'm not telling you to be more picky, am I?"

But it is. You're assuming that what you can see is the total picture.

What may look like the perfect guy - right number of veris and what you see as acceptable content - may be a world away from reality.

Some profiles show only what they want people to see for just that reason. They hide the graphic stuff. They hide certain meet veris if from people who may be seen as 'undesirable'.

All you can ever do is make an assumption. Nothing more, nothing less.

A

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"its a swinging site not a dating site

Yes. But some of us like to have sex with people they actually like and get on with.

Last time I checked, 'swinging' didn’t mean shagging indiscriminately.

It’s about attraction and connection, for me, not equal opportunities."

I’m starting to love you a little

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester


"its a swinging site not a dating site

Yes. But some of us like to have sex with people they actually like and get on with.

Last time I checked, 'swinging' didn’t mean shagging indiscriminately.

It’s about attraction and connection, for me, not equal opportunities.

I’m starting to love you a little "

I love you too!

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester


"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties.

Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me.

What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any?

Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social.

Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437.

This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them.

A

Looking at the number of veris and who they’re from isn’t an assumption, surely?

I'm picky about people's sexual habits. I can't see why this is a problem, darling. If doing this is something awful, the only person who suffers is me. I'm not telling you to be more picky, am I?

But it is. You're assuming that what you can see is the total picture.

What may look like the perfect guy - right number of veris and what you see as acceptable content - may be a world away from reality.

Some profiles show only what they want people to see for just that reason. They hide the graphic stuff. They hide certain meet veris if from people who may be seen as 'undesirable'.

All you can ever do is make an assumption. Nothing more, nothing less.

A"

This thread is not about the VALIDITY of the information on a profile, it's about choices based on the information that's presented.

You've created a bit of a straw man by suggesting I'm wrong to trust the information an individual chooses to divulge....

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By *orbidden eastMan  over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters


"I have to say, this is me. If a man has more than say, ten verifications, I’m put off meeting him. As it says in my profile, I don't consider myself a hardened swinger, so I don't think I'd have too much in common with someone who had been doing this for decades. I look for people who are a bit sexually liberated rather than guys who have relied on Fab for all their physical needs since the nineties.

Nowt wrong with that, mind you! It's just not for me.

What if they have 2 veris? But go to gangbangs at clubs where they don't get any?

Or have 49 veris but only 3 public. The 3 are play but the other 46 just social.

Or have 6, but were previously on site under a different name where they had 437.

This is the problem with veris and making assumptions from them.

A

Looking at the number of veris and who they’re from isn’t an assumption, surely?

I'm picky about people's sexual habits. I can't see why this is a problem, darling. If doing this is something awful, the only person who suffers is me. I'm not telling you to be more picky, am I?

But it is. You're assuming that what you can see is the total picture.

What may look like the perfect guy - right number of veris and what you see as acceptable content - may be a world away from reality.

Some profiles show only what they want people to see for just that reason. They hide the graphic stuff. They hide certain meet veris if from people who may be seen as 'undesirable'.

All you can ever do is make an assumption. Nothing more, nothing less.

A

This thread is not about the VALIDITY of the information on a profile, it's about choices based on the information that's presented.

You've created a bit of a straw man by suggesting I'm wrong to trust the information an individual chooses to divulge...."

That is a very good point. It comes down to the individual. Your experience with a certain person may be different to another persons experience

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes, I'm completely put off being invited to get naked with a guy who has met certain people I feel are very risky. A woman in my area has 800 sexual verifications; if you have met her... you ain't meeting me.

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By *r MoriartyMan  over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Only one person

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Only one person"

It’s me, isn’t it

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

I don't rule it out but I'm more interested in now and the future

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By *r MoriartyMan  over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Only one person

It’s me, isn’t it"

How did you guess?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Only one person

It’s me, isn’t it

How did you guess?"

I just know

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By *jonesMan  over a year ago

Plymouth

Only issue for me would be safety ..and if somone had 800 verifications as the previous lady mentioned I might think twice ...

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By *r MoriartyMan  over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Only one person

It’s me, isn’t it

How did you guess?

I just know "

It's not that I believe what they say, I just don't want to take any chances

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fascinating reading

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By *jonesMan  over a year ago

Plymouth


"Only issue for me would be safety ..and if somone had 800 verifications as the previous lady mentioned I might think twice ...

"

I would add most of my verris are from socials...I organise one in brum and have been to a few around the country ...such a nice way to meet people ...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Who a person has had sex with doesn’t put me off particularly.

The inability to string a sentence together, having little respect for women or their boundaries as well as a whole host of other things is more likely to put me off.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I definitely find myself checking out people’s verifications!

I often see some super graphic ones I can’t help but think are a bit over the top, I assume I’m not the only one? "

What if they haven’t found someone to verify them?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Doesnt really bother me and I'm not all that interested in seeing or knowing about their experience together. As long as we have a good time, that's all that matters.

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By *abs..Woman  over a year ago

..

If veris are there then I would read them because it’s all part of a picture. Yes I have decided not to meet someone based on who they have met previously. It’s down to what you know about that person. The term ‘safe sex’ is used loosely on here I have found and it never applies to their ‘special friend’. So yes, I have and will continue to do so if it is going to be something that could directly affect me

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By *orksRockerMan  over a year ago

Bradford

Someone's past, in this instance, has nothing to do with me. Who am I to judge?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have found over the years on here that verifications cannot be relied upon as a tool to make up my mind. That is why socials exist!

And I went through a phase of hiding mine, because of the perception that it's a form of bragging, then marking of territory, which, when you think about it, doesnt really make sense.

So these days, I give them freely, they are first and foremost for the person I have met, a compliment, if you will.

Secondly, I display them, because if someone has gone to the trouble of meeting me, and writing one, I think it shows that I am pleased to have met them.

Subsequent meets and meets with old friends dont usually warrant a verification, but I am not averse to that either.

I find that their forum presence, if they use them is a great filter, and private messaging too. That's why I take my time chatting, as I have few partners, but tend to make long term connections.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've been turned down because of my veris before. Somebody else's doesn't bother me though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yep. Definitely. Amongst many other things x

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I have found over the years on here that verifications cannot be relied upon as a tool to make up my mind. That is why socials exist!

And I went through a phase of hiding mine, because of the perception that it's a form of bragging, then marking of territory, which, when you think about it, doesnt really make sense.

So these days, I give them freely, they are first and foremost for the person I have met, a compliment, if you will.

Secondly, I display them, because if someone has gone to the trouble of meeting me, and writing one, I think it shows that I am pleased to have met them.

Subsequent meets and meets with old friends dont usually warrant a verification, but I am not averse to that either.

I find that their forum presence, if they use them is a great filter, and private messaging too. That's why I take my time chatting, as I have few partners, but tend to make long term connections."

If I actually gave a toss about veris these days it would be the territory marking ones that concerned me more than any number of meets.

Whilst graphic, detailed veris are often offputting they're sometimes not as bad as the repeat, gushing, arse licking essays, written like some low budget 50 shades of gray wannabe novel that some feel the need to leave as if pissing up a lamppost.

There's paying a compliment and then there's brown nosing to the extreme.....

A

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester


"I have found over the years on here that verifications cannot be relied upon as a tool to make up my mind. That is why socials exist!

And I went through a phase of hiding mine, because of the perception that it's a form of bragging, then marking of territory, which, when you think about it, doesnt really make sense.

So these days, I give them freely, they are first and foremost for the person I have met, a compliment, if you will.

Secondly, I display them, because if someone has gone to the trouble of meeting me, and writing one, I think it shows that I am pleased to have met them.

Subsequent meets and meets with old friends dont usually warrant a verification, but I am not averse to that either.

I find that their forum presence, if they use them is a great filter, and private messaging too. That's why I take my time chatting, as I have few partners, but tend to make long term connections.

If I actually gave a toss about veris these days it would be the territory marking ones that concerned me more than any number of meets.

Whilst graphic, detailed veris are often offputting they're sometimes not as bad as the repeat, gushing, arse licking essays, written like some low budget 50 shades of gray wannabe novel that some feel the need to leave as if pissing up a lamppost.

There's paying a compliment and then there's brown nosing to the extreme.....

A"

It's very obvious that you're referring to veris like the ones my partner leaves me. It's his way of reliving our meets, and lots of people really enjoy them, darling. I wouldn’t call being in love 'brown nosing', personally!

If you don’t like a long veri, stop reading.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I have found over the years on here that verifications cannot be relied upon as a tool to make up my mind. That is why socials exist!

And I went through a phase of hiding mine, because of the perception that it's a form of bragging, then marking of territory, which, when you think about it, doesnt really make sense.

So these days, I give them freely, they are first and foremost for the person I have met, a compliment, if you will.

Secondly, I display them, because if someone has gone to the trouble of meeting me, and writing one, I think it shows that I am pleased to have met them.

Subsequent meets and meets with old friends dont usually warrant a verification, but I am not averse to that either.

I find that their forum presence, if they use them is a great filter, and private messaging too. That's why I take my time chatting, as I have few partners, but tend to make long term connections.

If I actually gave a toss about veris these days it would be the territory marking ones that concerned me more than any number of meets.

Whilst graphic, detailed veris are often offputting they're sometimes not as bad as the repeat, gushing, arse licking essays, written like some low budget 50 shades of gray wannabe novel that some feel the need to leave as if pissing up a lamppost.

There's paying a compliment and then there's brown nosing to the extreme.....

A

It's very obvious that you're referring to veris like the ones my partner leaves me. It's his way of reliving our meets, and lots of people really enjoy them, darling. I wouldn’t call being in love 'brown nosing', personally!

If you don’t like a long veri, stop reading."

Sorry to burst your bubble but I've not read yours.

And please don't call me darling. I don't know you from Adam.

A

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman  over a year ago

Colchester

Of course not.

Apologies. 'Darling' is a habit, not a deliberate endearment.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[insert popcorn emoji here]

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By *oodnitegirlWoman  over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I used to get it loads..... guys I had been with said women weren’t interested once they had been lexied!! "

I hear it said a lot about me too. Sad thing is it’s by ladies I’ve never even met or heard of

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you get put off someone by knowing they have shagged someone in particular?

I don’t just mean by the veris.

For instance I find someone on here really attractive, sexy and I’d love to get my hands on him. Until I found out he’d been with someone and it turned my stomach.

Now I wouldn’t go anywhere near him.

Some guys have told me women won’t go near them as they have been with me, that used to happen a lot

Boys - how do you feel about this?

Girls - do many girls/guys history’s give you the ick? "

Yes I'm extremely picky.if a guy or a couple been with someone who fucks everyone who moves!no,thank you...

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By *ily WhiteWoman  over a year ago

?

Not generally by the people they've met, but I am put off by feeling like I'm just one in a long list that they're working through...I'm not going to be just the next person along on the conveyor belt of a lothario.

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

Wouldn't bother me. Some people overthink this place. If we want to shag each other then we should do it regardless of what's gone on before or what other people say.

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By *oiluvfunMan  over a year ago

Penrith


"Not generally by the people they've met, but I am put off by feeling like I'm just one in a long list that they're working through...I'm not going to be just the next person along on the conveyor belt of a lothario. "

I’m very much of a similar mind; some profiles scream ‘numbers girl’

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

On Holibobs

I suppose its down to what you use the site for.

If I know a man fits the criteria I want for a fantasy meet and he's very popular with the ladies it wouldn't put me off, Its how they treat me I am concerned with, pre covid some men met 2/3 times a week, but still make time to chat daily and thats what makes them stand out from the rest.

They don't move full attention to the next ladies that come onto their radar and leave others behind.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Only one person

It’s me, isn’t it

How did you guess?

I just know

It's not that I believe what they say, I just don't want to take any chances "

I respect that

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By *ouanna JoWoman  over a year ago

A little village

If this were the case for me I’d have never made it to 5 years with my gorgeous man as his ex leaves a lot to be desired, shall we say (polite way of saying it).

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By *abasaurus RexMan  over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I have no hard fast rules, or approach. I think it also depends on my level of interest in the other person too. If I’m really interested I highly doubt I’d care, as long as they’re clean (safe).

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just the one person. Ex of an ex, she's really rather unstable, used to work as a prostitute and just in general an unpleasant person. Though she lives in the same town as me and I don't meet locally.

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By * Lexi x OP   Woman  over a year ago

stockport


"I used to get it loads..... guys I had been with said women weren’t interested once they had been lexied!!

I hear it said a lot about me too. Sad thing is it’s by ladies I’ve never even met or heard of "

I take it as a compliment

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yeah definitely.

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By *rivateparts!Man  over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I couldn't give a flying fuck what people think.

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By *ikeC81Man  over a year ago

harrow

If it’s someone from forum that I haven’t met in club scene then I will check out veris to get a flavour what they may be in to or have they had a lot of veris

If it is a club meet that I have met socially, I will normally see if they had veris of people I know. It wouldn’t affect my judgement but it’s kinda like well if x met them and they were a good play they are a good judge of character

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By *he Mac LassWoman  over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway


"I used to get it loads..... guys I had been with said women weren’t interested once they had been lexied!!

I hear it said a lot about me too. Sad thing is it’s by ladies I’ve never even met or heard of

I take it as a compliment "

That made me chuckle. You should hand out 'Been Lexied' badges, t shirts and totes.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Thinking that someone is lesser because of their history/choices is just internalised misogyny. Nobody owns anyone and fab should be a place of understanding but we were all indoctrinated as children - I blame the Easter bunny.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m not put off by people’s verifications.....

All I need to know before arranging a meet....

Is if they suck like a Dyson?

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By *viatrixWoman  over a year ago

Redhill

Oh, absolutely...

Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos..

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By *r MoriartyMan  over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Oh, absolutely...

Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos.. "

A catalogue of women would actually be quite useful and save a lot of time. Even better if it came with a little blue Argos pen.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh, absolutely...

Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos..

A catalogue of women would actually be quite useful and save a lot of time. Even better if it came with a little blue Argos pen."

So you could put circles round the ones you wanted for Christmas?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh, absolutely...

Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos..

A catalogue of women would actually be quite useful and save a lot of time. Even better if it came with a little blue Argos pen.

So you could put circles round the ones you wanted for Christmas?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The only thing that puts me off is when a man tell me he loves really curvy women and then all veris are from slim women.

Makes me think he is lying just to get his leg over.

As for a person in particular, nope, couldnt care less.

I am a swinger and dont do body counts or people checking in that kind of way

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By *r MoriartyMan  over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Oh, absolutely...

Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos..

A catalogue of women would actually be quite useful and save a lot of time. Even better if it came with a little blue Argos pen.

So you could put circles round the ones you wanted for Christmas?"

I meant so I could tick them off so I didn't do them twice by mistake.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman  over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Oh, absolutely...

Especially those men with a catalogue of shagging different women on their photos..

A catalogue of women would actually be quite useful and save a lot of time. Even better if it came with a little blue Argos pen.

So you could put circles round the ones you wanted for Christmas?

I meant so I could tick them off so I didn't do them twice by mistake."

Reminds me of that catalogue of The harlots of London from the Georgian times... like trip advisor talking about “her pouting orbs and generous derrière”

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We tend to be more influenced by the verifications a person has written about others than what others have written about them.

In terms of who they have played with, we aren't put off by someone having sex with someone else but could be by the suggestion that they enjoyed their company. If a woman told me she once had sex with Tommy Robinson but found out what he was like and thought he was a p£!@k I'd be far less put off than if she told me she hadn't slept with him but was his friend.

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I guess it'll depend a bit on why you're meeting them. If it's just for sex then really it should have no bearing. If you're looking for more then I guess that you'd be interested in what attracts them or why they made certain choices.

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