FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Falling in love
Falling in love
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Has anyone done the unthinkable and fallen in love with someone they met on Fab?
I’ve been nursing a broken heart for the last 5 months and I don’t think I will ever get over him. I didn’t feel like this when my marriage of 10 years broke down. I try so very hard not to think about him and I think I’ve done quite well in keeping things together up until now, but being on lock down and not being able to work leaves me alone with my thoughts a lot of the time. Today is a bad day.
I can’t talk to any of my friends and family about him because I met him on here. To talk about him would just open me up to too many questions about him, ‘who is he? how did you meet?’ They wouldn’t understand. And I can’t lie to them. There’s been far too much deceit already. So, the only people I can tell are you people on here. I feel like I’m going to fall apart if I keep it all bottled up any longer.
I met him on my old profile and we were ‘together’ for 6 months. I left Fab because of him, I think he left too, I’d like to think he did. I’m almost certain he did. But who really knows? He was married, of course. No point lying about that very important point. Maybe I deserve to feel like this. I didn’t bank on having feelings for him but I did. I kept them in check though, never told him how I felt and then one day he told me that he loved me and that was it. All my feelings for him spilled over.
I was naive and thought if he loves me, he’ll want to be with me. He talked about a future with me, said he wanted me to be a part of his life forever, I just didn’t want to believe that it was in the capacity of a mistress. In reality, that was what it was. He dropped a bombshell, details of which I can’t divulge for fear of exposing who he is, but it made me realise he was still committed to his wife. I couldn’t end it, I loved him too much so I rejoined Fab under this profile as a ‘sod you, maybe you don’t want me, there are plenty out there that do!’ but I couldn’t bring myself to speak to anyone, it felt like cheating on him.
I ended things with him at the end of February because it was destroying me slowly but he wouldn’t accept it. I told him I couldn't be with him the way things were and if he wanted to be with me, then he had to make changes.
I’ve tried to make more of an effort in the last few weeks on Fab and I’m chatting to a couple of lovely guys that have the potential of being future meets (a few are guys I met on my old profile) but I feel like I’m cheating on the other guy even though it’s been over for almost 2 months. It’s been 16 days since I last heard from him and I miss him every single day.
Sorry for prattling on, just needed to tell someone. Tell me I did the right thing, eventually anyway 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You did the right thing. Stay strong for your sanity. I promise one day you will realise you haven't thought about him in weeks. The sadness and anger will leave you. Just rem_mber to look forward xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You did the right thing. Stay strong for your sanity. I promise one day you will realise you haven't thought about him in weeks. The sadness and anger will leave you. Just rem_mber to look forward xx"
This. It happens to us all to a greater or lesser extent. You've obviously been hit hard, but time is what is needed.
x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You have a bunch of utter nutters on here to chat away to, hopefully just typing that all out has been a little bit cathartic? Hopefully the people you know from before will be able to chat privately or make some new Fab friends.
Lots of hugs from sunny Manchester xxxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You can't help who you fall in love with.
I can fully understand why you think you may deserve to feel like shit, but at the time we justify it to ourselves with "love can conquer all" and believing it really is the most powerful thing. We begin to believe we're worth it!
How can something so right be wrong?
I wouldn't say you deserve to feel awful, as long as you learn from it.
Some of the most painful times teach us the biggest lessons.
They make us evaluate ourselves and sometimes we don't like what we see.
Chin up beaut. It's a cunt of a situation to find yourself in and one that will be tough to recover from
P
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP you have done the right thing by cutting him off. But you need to work on you and try your hardest to not think of what could of been. Live for today, meet other people and do things that make you happy. A man that truly loves you will not already be married or if he did then nothing would stop him from changing his life for you. (No offence to anyone at all that are married and on here!) Love is beautiful but also devastating. Here if you need to vent xx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm sure there will be many people on here who have been is a similar situation and can tell you that you are not the only one. Now is a really tough time to be going through something like this, especially when you can't talk to your family or friends about it. 2 months isn't really that long, I am sure over time you will start to feel ready to move on x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Op, you completely did the right thing cutting him off. He can't have been that amazing by the way he has treated you as well as his wife. Focus on someone who wants you to be important in their life and who adds value to yours.
Take time to heal yourself, time definitely heals most things if not all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Awwww OP sending biggest hugs your way.
Break ups are never easy and unfortunately the situation that you were in sucked.
Believe me when I say that time will heal you once you accept what’s gone.
It might take 2 months, 5 or 10 but each day without being in contact is an achievement in itself.
Stay strong and when you feel weak and attempt to make contact again, just question if he really did care?
We’re all here for you if you need to let it out.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've not fallen for someone on here but I have had my heart broken by a married man. More than once infact and it's still happening.
I don't have any words of wisdom for you, I just wanted to say don't beat yourself up. You certainly don't deserve it. Just because of how you met and the situation it doesn't make your feelings any less valid. Infact it's a pretty lonely dark place when you are left and he's off playing happy families.
Be kind to yourself. Time will make it easier but don't dismiss how you feel. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You have most definitely done the right thing my lovely. Everyone of us deserves to be happy including yourself. Chin up and take each day as it comes. You will get there I promise you. If you ever want to chat add me. I have all the time in the world xxxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Awwww OP sending biggest hugs your way.
Break ups are never easy and unfortunately the situation that you were in sucked.
Believe me when I say that time will heal you once you accept what’s gone.
It might take 2 months, 5 or 10 but each day without being in contact is an achievement in itself.
Stay strong and when you feel weak and attempt to make contact again, just question if he really did care?
We’re all here for you if you need to let it out. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP you'r right to end this, and i think in your heart you know that. I have been there, i was that guy and i tell you the pull of kids is something else, so don't put to much blame on him, and like the above, i can guarantee it does get better... send a message if you want to talk, chin up xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Falling in love is not on my agenda. My heart is hard due to past events. I will never love again full stop."
I used to feel this way, sometime I still do however companionship is something I miss the most |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t want to sound like a heartless bitch as your obviously hurting which is never a nice thing ...He’s obviously a lying cheating bastard so I’m not sure what made you think he would leave his wife/family for you isn’t that the oldest cliche in the book ...It may not seem like it now but you definitely had a lucky escape ....No one deserves to be second best!... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t want to sound like a heartless bitch as your obviously hurting which is never a nice thing ...He’s obviously a lying cheating bastard so I’m not sure what made you think he would leave his wife/family for you isn’t that the oldest cliche in the book ...It may not seem like it now but you definitely had a lucky escape ....No one deserves to be second best!..."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *osie xWoman
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
I was told once “when a mistress becomes a wife it makes room for another mistress” and that I’d dodged a bullet.
At the time I was hurting and thought get stuffed but in hindsight it was good advice in my circumstance.
You have to do what is right for you and it hurts but you’ll grow stronger from it.
You’ll look back on it and realise in time. I look back now and think what was I doing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm not keen on the idea of giving someone an ultimatum
I don't think it's a healthy way of dealing with things"
I agree, and I never gave him an ultimatum. I think I knew deep down it would always end badly for me if I did. I gave him 100% of myself and got very little in return. He wouldn’t accept it was over between us and continued to contact me, questioning who I was talking to, where I’d been etc. That’s when I told him if he couldn’t make changes, we couldn’t be together and that he had to stop contacting me. I can see how it sounded like I’d given him an ultimatum. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Has anyone done the unthinkable and fallen in love with someone they met on Fab?
I’ve been nursing a broken heart for the last 5 months and I don’t think I will ever get over him. I didn’t feel like this when my marriage of 10 years broke down. I try so very hard not to think about him and I think I’ve done quite well in keeping things together up until now, but being on lock down and not being able to work leaves me alone with my thoughts a lot of the time. Today is a bad day.
I can’t talk to any of my friends and family about him because I met him on here. To talk about him would just open me up to too many questions about him, ‘who is he? how did you meet?’ They wouldn’t understand. And I can’t lie to them. There’s been far too much deceit already. So, the only people I can tell are you people on here. I feel like I’m going to fall apart if I keep it all bottled up any longer.
I met him on my old profile and we were ‘together’ for 6 months. I left Fab because of him, I think he left too, I’d like to think he did. I’m almost certain he did. But who really knows? He was married, of course. No point lying about that very important point. Maybe I deserve to feel like this. I didn’t bank on having feelings for him but I did. I kept them in check though, never told him how I felt and then one day he told me that he loved me and that was it. All my feelings for him spilled over.
I was naive and thought if he loves me, he’ll want to be with me. He talked about a future with me, said he wanted me to be a part of his life forever, I just didn’t want to believe that it was in the capacity of a mistress. In reality, that was what it was. He dropped a bombshell, details of which I can’t divulge for fear of exposing who he is, but it made me realise he was still committed to his wife. I couldn’t end it, I loved him too much so I rejoined Fab under this profile as a ‘sod you, maybe you don’t want me, there are plenty out there that do!’ but I couldn’t bring myself to speak to anyone, it felt like cheating on him.
I ended things with him at the end of February because it was destroying me slowly but he wouldn’t accept it. I told him I couldn't be with him the way things were and if he wanted to be with me, then he had to make changes.
I’ve tried to make more of an effort in the last few weeks on Fab and I’m chatting to a couple of lovely guys that have the potential of being future meets (a few are guys I met on my old profile) but I feel like I’m cheating on the other guy even though it’s been over for almost 2 months. It’s been 16 days since I last heard from him and I miss him every single day.
Sorry for prattling on, just needed to tell someone. Tell me I did the right thing, eventually anyway
"
Hope this pain eases for you soon xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP life must have been so difficult for you lately and you are brave telling us about your experience. In time you will be okay. One day at a time. If you want to talk to someone you can contact me...
Bhubaysi x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not keen on the idea of giving someone an ultimatum
I don't think it's a healthy way of dealing with things
I agree, and I never gave him an ultimatum. I think I knew deep down it would always end badly for me if I did. I gave him 100% of myself and got very little in return. He wouldn’t accept it was over between us and continued to contact me, questioning who I was talking to, where I’d been etc. That’s when I told him if he couldn’t make changes, we couldn’t be together and that he had to stop contacting me. I can see how it sounded like I’d given him an ultimatum. "
You didn't give him an ultimatum ,he manufactured it himself , your own well being is first and foremost ALWAYS...you say he gave very little in return to your 100% then was questioning your movements...he was married but just reading between the lines he was also a controlling person ,he wasn't gonna make changes but you weren't to make any movements .. sorry...but you Absolutely made or did the right thing ..you lady are absolutely spot on with what you did ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Your head must be just swimming and like you say thoughts, feeling are compounded by lockdown.
Sounds like you did the right thing in splitting.
The heart wants what the heart wants but you have to know when to let go and when to move on.
You sound like you've come a long way...be patient and good with yourself and things will come good.
You've done the hard bit, now it's time to build your future.
I wish you all the best xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thank you all so much for your kind words and for not judging me or saying I’m a bad person. I’ve hardly been able to read everyone’s replies through my tears. All the words were blurry. I fully expected to be told I deserved the heartache I’m feeling. I will be ok one day, I know I will. I’m far too stubborn not to be. I just want to be able to move on. I’m not sure I will ever forget about him or that I want to. Despite everything, I was really happy with him at times. In the end I was miserable though and had to end it for my own sanity.
Losing someone you love is a grieving process I guess. Although he was never mine to lose in the first place, I still grieve for him. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you all so much for your kind words and for not judging me or saying I’m a bad person. I’ve hardly been able to read everyone’s replies through my tears. All the words were blurry. I fully expected to be told I deserved the heartache I’m feeling. I will be ok one day, I know I will. I’m far too stubborn not to be. I just want to be able to move on. I’m not sure I will ever forget about him or that I want to. Despite everything, I was really happy with him at times. In the end I was miserable though and had to end it for my own sanity.
Losing someone you love is a grieving process I guess. Although he was never mine to lose in the first place, I still grieve for him. "
Massive hugs to you and the best if wishes xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm so sorry OP.
Something very similar happened to me about 3years ago on another site, I thought I'd never get over it or trust anyone on a site like this ever again.
I'm very glad that 18 months ago I let my guard down and let an amazing man I met right here in the forum's in.
We are very happy and moving into very soon (we sort of already have because of lockdown).
So stay strong and rem_mber that sometimes the risk of getting hurt pays off. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP, I think it is very difficult to be so very intimate with someone and not develop feelings of some sorts. I meet someone on here and we had an instant connection and had 2.5 year of extraordinary fun and great experiences together which I will always cherish, but on here I think each person hides a bit of themselves and sets up barriers to protect them self and that can only lead to hurt and disappointment for both parties in the long term if you are not both on the same page at the same time. Both parties need to feel wanted and cherished if a relationship is to last on a long term basis and you can’t help who you fall in love with and when otherwise this relationship lark would b easy or maybe easier at the very least! Big hugs to you and all I can say is to be true and honest to yourself and to put that out there and what will be will be. I’m a strong believer In fate and the belief that things happen for a reason and if it’s not meant to be try and rem_mber the fun, good times and memories that you have together and to learn from this experience. I know it’s not easy but time is a healer and if you were not happy with what was on offer then you did the right thing by walking away as you need to look after yourself and your own mental health and well being in the long term xx. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you all so much for your kind words and for not judging me or saying I’m a bad person. I’ve hardly been able to read everyone’s replies through my tears. All the words were blurry. I fully expected to be told I deserved the heartache I’m feeling. I will be ok one day, I know I will. I’m far too stubborn not to be. I just want to be able to move on. I’m not sure I will ever forget about him or that I want to. Despite everything, I was really happy with him at times. In the end I was miserable though and had to end it for my own sanity.
Losing someone you love is a grieving process I guess. Although he was never mine to lose in the first place, I still grieve for him. "
You're grieving for the future you thought you were getting.
You're grieving for the relationship you thought you had.
You're grieving for your happy ever after you never got.
You're grieving because he was your world and you feel foolish that you weren't his, regardless of him telling you he loved you.
You're grieving because you thought he would take a bullet for you, the way you would for him.
You're grieving for the old you, the you who wasn't "stupid enough" to fall for a married man
And you're grieving the future you, coz she has been changed
P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you all so much for your kind words and for not judging me or saying I’m a bad person. I’ve hardly been able to read everyone’s replies through my tears. All the words were blurry. I fully expected to be told I deserved the heartache I’m feeling. I will be ok one day, I know I will. I’m far too stubborn not to be. I just want to be able to move on. I’m not sure I will ever forget about him or that I want to. Despite everything, I was really happy with him at times. In the end I was miserable though and had to end it for my own sanity.
Losing someone you love is a grieving process I guess. Although he was never mine to lose in the first place, I still grieve for him.
You're grieving for the future you thought you were getting.
You're grieving for the relationship you thought you had.
You're grieving for your happy ever after you never got.
You're grieving because he was your world and you feel foolish that you weren't his, regardless of him telling you he loved you.
You're grieving because you thought he would take a bullet for you, the way you would for him.
You're grieving for the old you, the you who wasn't "stupid enough" to fall for a married man
And you're grieving the future you, coz she has been changed
P"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you all so much for your kind words and for not judging me or saying I’m a bad person. I’ve hardly been able to read everyone’s replies through my tears. All the words were blurry. I fully expected to be told I deserved the heartache I’m feeling. I will be ok one day, I know I will. I’m far too stubborn not to be. I just want to be able to move on. I’m not sure I will ever forget about him or that I want to. Despite everything, I was really happy with him at times. In the end I was miserable though and had to end it for my own sanity.
Losing someone you love is a grieving process I guess. Although he was never mine to lose in the first place, I still grieve for him.
You're grieving for the future you thought you were getting.
You're grieving for the relationship you thought you had.
You're grieving for your happy ever after you never got.
You're grieving because he was your world and you feel foolish that you weren't his, regardless of him telling you he loved you.
You're grieving because you thought he would take a bullet for you, the way you would for him.
You're grieving for the old you, the you who wasn't "stupid enough" to fall for a married man
And you're grieving the future you, coz she has been changed
P"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you all so much for your kind words and for not judging me or saying I’m a bad person. I’ve hardly been able to read everyone’s replies through my tears. All the words were blurry. I fully expected to be told I deserved the heartache I’m feeling. I will be ok one day, I know I will. I’m far too stubborn not to be. I just want to be able to move on. I’m not sure I will ever forget about him or that I want to. Despite everything, I was really happy with him at times. In the end I was miserable though and had to end it for my own sanity.
Losing someone you love is a grieving process I guess. Although he was never mine to lose in the first place, I still grieve for him.
You're grieving for the future you thought you were getting.
You're grieving for the relationship you thought you had.
You're grieving for your happy ever after you never got.
You're grieving because he was your world and you feel foolish that you weren't his, regardless of him telling you he loved you.
You're grieving because you thought he would take a bullet for you, the way you would for him.
You're grieving for the old you, the you who wasn't "stupid enough" to fall for a married man
And you're grieving the future you, coz she has been changed
P "
Your situation is so similar to mine when I first got into this lifestyle.
We got on so well together in the short space of time we new each other.
She is someone I will never forget but was never meant to be with, it so hard getting over a situation like this but in time you will and look in it with different eyes.
The past can’t be changed but the future can, learn from this experience cry all you need to take as much time as it takes.
Life will continue and there will always be someone out there to comfort you and make you feel wanted and appreciated, no matter how hard that seams at this moment in time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you all so much for your kind words and for not judging me or saying I’m a bad person. I’ve hardly been able to read everyone’s replies through my tears. All the words were blurry. I fully expected to be told I deserved the heartache I’m feeling. I will be ok one day, I know I will. I’m far too stubborn not to be. I just want to be able to move on. I’m not sure I will ever forget about him or that I want to. Despite everything, I was really happy with him at times. In the end I was miserable though and had to end it for my own sanity.
Losing someone you love is a grieving process I guess. Although he was never mine to lose in the first place, I still grieve for him.
You're grieving for the future you thought you were getting.
You're grieving for the relationship you thought you had.
You're grieving for your happy ever after you never got.
You're grieving because he was your world and you feel foolish that you weren't his, regardless of him telling you he loved you.
You're grieving because you thought he would take a bullet for you, the way you would for him.
You're grieving for the old you, the you who wasn't "stupid enough" to fall for a married man
And you're grieving the future you, coz she has been changed
P"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm sorry you feel as you do right now however no question that you have done the right thing for yourself.
One day you will see it for how it really was, him doing all the taking and you all the giving and whilst it was probably great the little signs where there. You will eventually see he used you to suit himself, that's a not nice thing for anyone to do.
That realisation will help you because you will see that you greive something you perceived wrongly, rather than the reality of it, you grieve what you never had. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can’t tell you if you’ve done the right thing, I think you know that you have, and you’re the only one you can really listen to.
To answer your question, yes, I fell in love with my current partner in January last year; we met here, it’s been far better with her in my life. I didn’t expect Fab to reveal such a wonderful woman. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have not fallen for someone from here but I have been through heartbreak. At the time it felt like it was going to destroy me and to be honest it nearly did.
All I can say is that it does get easier I promise. The days become clearer and finally you are able to move forward.
I am such a stronger person in many ways now, though unfortunately the ‘scars’ will never leave they become less and less noticeable.
Be kind to yourself x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I met the love of my life on a swingers site, not this one , “ local swingers “ , we had a relationship for three years , and I truly believed that we would some day be together. however old you are , heartbreak is never easy , in fact the older you get , the more difficult it is to cope with . I am still in contact with her and we remain friends , but every now and then the pain comes to the surface , this fucking lock down just gives you too long to think and hope ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I fell in love with my married FB off here. He kept on telling me he loved me. You dont tell someone that if you're not going to follow through. Then make it my issue that I didnt understand him. Hold on. Something not right there cake and eat it....
I'm moving on but I'll never understand why he got so intense.
Hes found a local group of play pals. I wish you luck Bx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I fell in love with my married FB off here. He kept on telling me he loved me. You dont tell someone that if you're not going to follow through. Then make it my issue that I didnt understand him. Hold on. Something not right there cake and eat it....
I'm moving on but I'll never understand why he got so intense.
Hes found a local group of play pals. I wish you luck Bx
"
Exactly my scenario with a married woman, she used the excuse of her feelings toward me getting in the way of her family as her way of cooling things between us and within a couple of weeks her profile said owned by a master and then other veris from meets. She still gets in touch telling me she thinks about me constantly and still has feelings, that its totally different with anyone else, just a convenient arrangement as she puts it, wtf? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes I did, although I dont think he was married, but since I was deceived about many things, I guess I will never know.
I am 2 years on the other side now, and finally "me" again, although hopefully stronger and wiser.
Time really is all that helps, as far as I know xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"I'm not keen on the idea of giving someone an ultimatum
I don't think it's a healthy way of dealing with things
I agree, and I never gave him an ultimatum. I think I knew deep down it would always end badly for me if I did. I gave him 100% of myself and got very little in return. He wouldn’t accept it was over between us and continued to contact me, questioning who I was talking to, where I’d been etc. That’s when I told him if he couldn’t make changes, we couldn’t be together and that he had to stop contacting me. I can see how it sounded like I’d given him an ultimatum. "
That sounds super controlling...and a huge red flag disguised as caring and loving. In that situation, I think a boundary is necessary. You said you’d split 2 months ago but last contact 2 weeks ago...as hard as it is, I’d go for no contact. He’s not accepting where you are and you need time to heal. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The thing to do with people like that, although difficult is to not waste anymore of your precious time on them, even thinking about what went wrong or them. Mostly it's construed to suit themselves, they don't tell the truth. Just users and players sadly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
OP you have my sympathy and my empathy.
I've been there, it's the most horrendous feeling.
It's one of the reasons I won't meet married men. In part because I don't like to think that I might be the cause of pain to their wife but also for my sanity. If a single man doesn't want me, it's because he doesn't think it will work. If a married man in an unhappy situation would rather stay in that situation than be with me then that's hard.
You have done the right thing, definitely.
It is hard now. It will get better. It's two weeks since you had contact, that's no time at all. Each day is a step further away and one closer to you feeling better about it.
A broken heart takes a long time to heal. I know, I've had one. Be kind to yourself allow it to heal at its own pace. But try not to keep poking the bruise. Easier said than done I know.
Much love. You are strong enough to do this xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *essie.Woman
over a year ago
Serendipity |
A few years ago I was in a relationship thinking he was single and all the time, he had a partner I knew nothing about. Until one day I couldn’t get hold of him, so rang a few times. Got a call back from a lady asking who I was. Despite my shock I covered and pretended to be a work colleague. It was the worst feeling ever. But it did me a favour and I’ve not seen him since and blocked all his attempts to contact me.
OP - If you had been a man on here, you’d have got very different responses to your thread. They’d have torn you to pieces.
I can tell it’s really hurting, you’re worth more than being someone’s bit on the side, which is what you were. He held all the cards. Put on your big girl pants and get back out there, after lockdown is over. Just have some fun for a while.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
The only advice i can give to those who fall in love with an unavailable man is this.
One day you WILL wake up and berate yourself for the time you wasted on giving your love, attention and time to someone who did not make you a priority.
It might take a few years after you have broken up, but it happens. You can look back without feeling that gut wrenching feeling of loss of “what could have been” and see the situation through the eyes of an outsider looking in, and see that you literally just wasted your time.
Technically you didn’t “waste your time” obviously, because every experience we go through teaches us something and at that moment of time the feelings were real.
But you do wake up and see the light. You just have to endure a lot of heartache before you get there.
Time is a great healer. But you have to let them go in order than you can move on and heal. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This happened to me last year. I met someone on fab and we both fell for each other, well I did him. He too was married, we left fab, well I did and as far as I know so did he. He told me he was divorcing his wife, I met his kids and saw his house up for sale. That was all true. He asked me to marry him even. Then end of the year he just pulled the rug out from under me. Said he didnt see a future with me.
It's very hard when you have fallen in love and these past few weeks have made me reflect on things too. I can totally empathise with you. The way I've managed to get over him is by realising that the time spent together was fun, it meant something to both of us at the time, it just ended and there was nothing I could do about it and for my own well being I need to move on and think of me for a change.
I know you will be ok. You just have to get through this tunnel you are in.
Take care xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
